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married with issues, transsexual,porn,herpes


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We are a very active hip middle age couple. he moved into my home I have the good job /car/ house.. I thought he was the man of my dreams until things started to be revealed…Ok this is all true and yes I am new I am sure some of you may think crazy. I am getting married in 2 months here is the problem.

  • He has Herpes..no big deal I understand
  • He is a transsexual...ok did not see that coming but I understand
  • He is addicted to porn..female..well ok..
  • He says he loves me with all of his heart ...but wants us to swing "occasionally"

Uhmmm ??? But if he can be faithful to me ..maybe I can do this?

Now I found out after he asked me to marry him; swearing I am the girl of his dreams that he had been emailing this other girl telling her he missed her and loves her very much. When I confronted him he said it was meaningless e chatter and meant nothing and that he has never met her since she lives in another state…it meant nothing.. I don’t know I feel betrayed and overwhelmed with his “issues” that keep popping up… But I already paid for ½ the wedding. He is sweet and loving, but I am afraid I may be letting myself in for a hard time. He begs me to trust him and believe in him.. But I wonder since he has never been married or had a long term relationship…..

Can I trust him? Is he giving me a line? I am too embarrassed to talk with anyone about this so thought I would ask here. Thanks:confused:

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How long have you known him? Why is this stuff just coming up now?

 

You can't make a lifetime commitment to someone you don't trust and don't know particularly well. You're just asking for trouble.

 

Perhaps you two should get some pre-marital counseling so you can get all these issues - and whatever else he's hiding - out in the open and discuss them with an impartial counselor who can help you communicate.

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Run as fast as you can away from this situation.....

 

But.... You can't help who you fall in love with but still, too many red flags waving right in front of your face with this one. I'd postpone the marriage until you have things sorted out. A counselor is a good start.

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Thanks guys I have know him for over 2 years, dated a year..lived together 6 months will be engaged 6 months before we marry...I can accept the H/ being trans, but the swinging and the emailing really bothes me.. He swears I am his soul mate the love of his life. if this is true..than why did he e her? Why doe he want to swing- he says swinging is only sex...

Should I run?

Angel

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Thanks guys I have know him for over 2 years, dated a year..lived together 6 months will be engaged 6 months before we marry...I can accept the H/ being trans, but the swinging and the emailing really bothes me.. He swears I am his soul mate the love of his life. if this is true..than why did he e her? Why doe he want to swing- he says swinging is only sex...

Should I run?

Angel

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sweet heart run as far and as fast as you can... there is know way you'll be happy in marriage like that!! You can do much better, trust me..

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OT I know.

 

But... transexual born a woman?

 

How does his new penis work? Does it look normal? Does he cum?

 

OT, If you're not immediately comfortable with swinging, then you probably never will be and this will cause problems. I think you should give this one up.

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