I need some insight

[huntin'inNC]

[FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]I've been doing some thinking. My fiancee brokke up with me almost 2 weeks ago. We have been talking almost everyday to each other, almost as if we never broke up. I asked earlier this week if she would like some hang out after work, and she told me that it wasn't a good idea, there wasn't any chance for us. We broke up about 6 months ago, for 3 weeks, after I got intoxicated and called her names(nothing physical, just stupid drunk). I fixed my drinking problem, but I made her some promises(stop smoking, and not being so insecure around her, demanding sex, ect), and I fell back into the rut again. I was hiding my smoking(I know, stupid), and starting to be insecure around her again. She told yesterday that I had pushed it too far this time, and that I blew my second chance, she doesn't trust me to change, when I didn't last time, ect.[/sIZE][/FONT]

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[FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]My question is this though....If she was truly "finished" with me, then why even tell me what I did to break us up this time, and so forth? If she was truly finished, why even discuss this with me? Why even talk to me? I also know she has been "checking up" on me via myspace, she checks my page everyday. After our last conversation yesterday, I told her everything I had been thinking for the last few weeks(I know, I probably sounded like a wuss), and told her that I loved her. She told me that she loved me too. She has given me all my stuff from her place, and I have given her stuff from my place, but she has yet to request her key back, and we still have a bank account together, which she send money to me and manages for me. What do you guys think?[/sIZE][/FONT]

[CaliGuy]

[FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]I've been doing some thinking. My fiancee brokke up with me almost 2 weeks ago. We have been talking almost everyday to each other' date=' almost as if we never broke up. I asked earlier this week if she would like some hang out after work, and she told me that it wasn't a good idea, there wasn't any chance for us. We broke up about 6 months ago, for 3 weeks, after I got intoxicated and called her names(nothing physical, just stupid drunk). I fixed my drinking problem, but I made her some promises(stop smoking, and not being so insecure around her, demanding sex, ect), and I fell back into the rut again. I was hiding my smoking(I know, stupid), and starting to be insecure around her again. She told yesterday that I had pushed it too far this time, and that I blew my second chance, she doesn't trust me to change, when I didn't last time, ect.[/sIZE'][/FONT]

[FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]My question is this though....If she was truly "finished" with me, then why even tell me what I did to break us up this time, and so forth? If she was truly finished, why even discuss this with me? Why even talk to me? I also know she has been "checking up" on me via myspace, she checks my page everyday. After our last conversation yesterday, I told her everything I had been thinking for the last few weeks(I know, I probably sounded like a wuss), and told her that I loved her. She told me that she loved me too. She has given me all my stuff from her place, and I have given her stuff from my place, but she has yet to request her key back, and we still have a bank account together, which she send money to me and manages for me. What do you guys think?[/sIZE][/FONT]

 

 

Because she broke up with you when she wasn't 100% mentally checked out of the relationship. She may over time. The best thing for you to do is work on yourself. That's the only thing you control. If you are insecure, work on your confidence. Demanding sex is NEVER a good idea. Confident, secure men don't demand sex (the most confident men actually decline sex every once in a while. Want to make her crazy? Haha. Decline sex a few times! LOL).

 

She may NEVER come back to you but you can't live your life as if she may. Start focusing on getting yourself in the best mental and physical shape that you can. If she comes back, great. If not, you'll be better suited for the next one who comes along.

[loveratud]

"Confident, secure men don't demand sex (the most confident men actually decline sex every once in a while. Want to make her crazy? Haha. Decline sex a few times! LOL)."

 

Invariably leads to "you don't think I'm attractive." Even if it's not right then, eventually you'll hear it. Women are so conditioned by society\media to think that men always want sex, that when they run across one who doesn't there must be something wrong.

[britchick]

and we still have a bank account together, which she send money to me and manages for me. What do you guys think?[/sIZE][/FONT]

 

and you let her go???????

[huntin'inNC]

[FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]Thanks for the thoughts. I asked her to dinner last night, and she turned me down. I lost my composure, and begged her to give us a new start. She wasn't having any of that. In hind-sight, I know that I puhsed her waay far away by begging, pleading, ect, but I couldn't control it at the time. I do feel like God wants us together(if you guys believe in God), and I think I know what God is trying to show me by taking her out of my life. I'm just waiting now for her anger towards me to fade. I'm going to give this "no contact" a try. I even asked her last night if she wanted me to just leave her alone and not call her or talk to her, and she said that she didn't want that, she wanted to remain friends, but didn't see a future with me. She even told me that she loved me, but didn't see us in a relationship right now. Funny thing is, she is still "checking" my myspace page everyday, so maybe she is just hurt, and I just need to back off? I know that I sounded like a total wuss last night, and that is a totol turn-off. What do you guys think? Anybody been through this and got her back?[/sIZE][/FONT]