confused

[mocha]

My boss who I have great admiration and respect for has been recently flirting with me, or what I would consider to be very flirtatious behaviour, such as inviting body language and facial expressions etc. I am quite disturbed by this as I feel he is messing me around not only professionally, but the fact that i do think he is quite attractive and could potentially fall for him If I allowed myself to. I also fear that I may be developing feelings for this man who is unavailable and sees me as a conquest.

I know for a fact that he is happily married which makes the situation far more confusing and frustrating for me, and he has not made any attempt to communicate with me in any other way than the way he is at present. Also I cannot understand how somebody who is supposed to love his wife could possibly have feelings for somebody else at the same time. Its also difficult to confide in other co-workers about the situation as I do not want to come across as being unprofessional or silly.

[Tony T]

A boss who displays flirtatious behavior around you by no means indicates he has feelings for you.

 

Ignore the flirtations and do not react to them in any way. You don't have control of his actions but you do have control of your actions and your feelings. I don't see how you could possibly develop feelings for somebody solely on the basis of flirtatious behavior and nothing else...unless you are extremely impressionable.

 

If the flirtatiousness evolves into more and he approaches you verbally, simply tell him what a great boss he is and that you have a lot of respect for the institution of marriage and you simply don't have anything romantically to do with men who are happily married. If he continues after that, go to upper management of the company and report him. In America, this kind of activity would be against the law.

 

Meanwhile, just pay no attention to this guy. If you ignore him and give him no feedback or hope whatsoever, he will go on and find someone else to flirt with.