Marriage falling apart...

[Girlygirl74]

I had posted on here before talking about how my husband won't initiate sex. Well, things have gotten progressively worse in the past few weeks. We've had several things happen that have put us in a bind financially. Bad things are just happening back to back to back.

 

I’m feeling really sad. It’s not just about money…it’s also about our marriage. I know that the money problems affect him, but he doesn’t realize they do affect me too. He seems to think that it’s just HIS problem, but it’s not. It’s just that I try not to let it get to me as much because if I do, then things get bad between us. I can already see things getting worse and worse each day, but that’s mostly because of how he reacts to things.

 

He doesn’t tell me he loves me anymore (unless he’s getting off the phone with me, and I can barely make out what he's saying). He doesn't kiss me anymore. He doesn't hug me anymore. He doesn't make love to me anymore (other than the occassional quickie and that's been for HIS benefit). I feel completely abandoned. I’ve told him and told him how I feel, and he seems to ignore me. I don’t know what to do. I can’t remember the last time we were really happy together…happy and laughing and having a really good time together. It’s like he can’t be happy unless things perfect. Well, nothing is ever going to be perfect, that’s a fact of life. All we can do is make the best out of a situation because the problems aren’t going to just disappear.

 

I feel like I am screaming out to him. I came right out and told him “I need you”. But…I got nothing. When things get this bad, it seems he's just unable to be there for me. What am I supposed to do? I feel completely alone. There’s no one to hold ME up and tell me things will be ok. I feel like I’m on the verge of a breakdown. Today, my hands have been shaking like crazy. I try SO hard to hold myself together in front of him and the kids…but I’m wearing thin too.

 

I feel like I'm the only one trying and I’m just so worn out

[hurting_in_nw]

Tell him exactly what you've written here. Chances are that even as bad as things are he just may not see it.

[Moose]

In his best Leo from that 70's show voice, "Join the club man...."

 

Seriously, I do know how you feel......it helps to let it out, (a little), we're all ears here for ya!!

 

We may not have the exact situation, but they are frightening close.....

[Girlygirl74]

I'm starting to think that maybe he wants out but he doesn't want to tell me. I can poke and prod at him to open up, but really, it's pointless. He'll say "nothing's wrong"...then later on he'll call his mom and spill his guts.

 

I'm starting to wonder what I'm doing here.

[Mr. Lucky]

Could it be some effort on his part to be the strong, silent type? As men, we're often told that any display of emotions is a sign of weakness - think every movie hero from John Wayne to Dirty Harry. Thus, when the sh*t hits the fan, lots of guys have trouble coping and just shut down. It's easy for a spouse to feel excluded at these times, but admitting to our wives that we're scared, fearful and having trouble holding it together is hard for a man to do. Your going to have to figure a way to break through his shell...

 

Mr. Lucky

[umbo]

I feel completely abandoned.

 

Well stop feeling completely abandoned there are 10,001 things you can do to turn your situation around. YOu and your family are under great financial stress as we all are. But you can beat it easy. But first as to your marriage get the tape or cd's Light his fire Light her fire by Dr. ellen kreidman very good. YOu have went in to detail about your financial situation but I just got my brand new house out of forclosure. And I had just declared bankruptcy two years prior plus I have a $60,000 family support order to pay so yeah we all have problems but don't fall apart use the internet for resources to assist you. Hey good luck roll your sleeves up and get to work.