carrieangel Posted December 26, 2002 Share Posted December 26, 2002 hey everyone! im new to the forum and im only 17 so i feel a little out of place but i figure, this is alot better place to get some advice than some teen magazine or my friends, who are as clueless about dating as i am.. lol anyways, me and this guy jon have been going out for almost two months (which was a feat, if you know all the drama that came before it: cheating, betrayal, the whole bit...but thats for later)...we were really good about calling each other...he'd call me everyday after school and we'd talk for about an hour and a half...then out of nowhere...nothing...hed stop calling, mostly because he's a video game addict more than anything else but still...i figure that im more important than a video game and i call him on it...hes like, 'im sorry, ill call you tomorrow'....which he did but just that one day....ive tried not to make a big deal out of it...i really dont like bitching and worrying at guys...ive always been more go with the flow i guess....and not to mention, he gets in trouble alot so his parents take away the phone from time to time i dont know...i guess i also feel a little neglected...before, when we were just talking, he'd always talk about how i was the one he wanted (i never knew where i stood though cuz he was still talking to other girls so i was always very guarded)....and then all this crap happened where he kissed these other girls and i just...i dont know what happened to him...he just stopped caring i guess....we stopped talking for about a month and i started warming up to him again and he said that he wanted to start over...and so, i said we should just be friends and see where it goes...well, that lasted about a week and a half cuz by the end of this one night we went out we were basically a couple... hes very physically affectionate (duh, hes a teenage boy lol) but i just want more attention and i dont like the idea of blatantly asking him for it...i hate the fact that his friends give me more compliments than he does...it bothers me that we have so many misunderstandings (one time i sighed, and he took it like i was mad at him..he thinks im mad at him alot)...i dont like the fact that i feel like im putting more into this than what im getting out of it, yet i dont want to pull back cuz thats what lead him to talking to (and kissing) other girls the first time around...i know (or hope) that he cares about me because, after all, why would he be going out with me in the first place? so am i agonizing for nothing? Link to post Share on other sites
cubby_storm Posted December 26, 2002 Share Posted December 26, 2002 dont even bother with the headaches youll get if u stay with him Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted December 26, 2002 Share Posted December 26, 2002 When a guy is young, his priorities are spread all over the place. I'm sure he likes you a lot but he also likes doing things with his buddies and has a whole lot of other things going on in his life. He's also not nearly ready to be concentrating his entire being on one thing, a lady. You've already talked to him about calling more predictably and that did some good for just one day. That's a sign of someone who's not very mature. Deal with it. You're going to find guys around your age will be, for the most part, emotionally immature. There are men many years older who don't know how to treat a lady either...but that's a whole other post, too. If you can't accept his behavior for what it is, a nice young guy with lots going on in his life at this point, don't let it bother you. Either accept it or go find another guy. The purpose of dating is to find a guy who behaves in such a manner that you remain interested and causes you to want to remain in that relationship. My guess is that if this guy was the opposite...that he called you every day at the same time and talked to you for an hour or two, it wouldn't take you very long to get real sick of that. You see, men have to deal with women too...not many are really sure what they want. I bet if he did everything you wanted him to, you'd get real sick of that real quick. Just be thankful he doesn't kiss your butt. That's why you're interested now, because he's not doing that. Thank your lucky stars. Again, if you don't like it....try a guy who does everything you ask him too and see just how long you stay interested. You females don't make it very easy for a guy!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author carrieangel Posted December 31, 2002 Author Share Posted December 31, 2002 thank you so much...you give great advice!..that whole thing you said about how i would lose interest if he did everything i wanted him to..alot of my friends had said that same thing,lol..but heres some follow up: last friday night was his birthday and i had always said that i wanted to do something special for him, like get a couple of his friends and go to gameworks or something...and he knew this.....so i call him when friday night rolls around and hes like "my parents arent gonna let me go anywhere cuz i have a whole bunch of extended family here"...and i was dissappointed but i didnt want him to feel bad...i know how family can be...he apologized like 3 million times (which is nice, considering he can be a really cocky guy) and then he was like trying to find another time we could get together...we both worked all day saturday so he said sunday night after i get off work we could get together.... sunday night rolls around and im waiting and....nothing..im really upset....i think that if anyone (meaning friends, boyfriends, family whatever) say that there gonna be someplace, they should be there or at least call...finally i call him and hes at home...i dont lose any time...hes like "hey, whats up?" and im like "you a real jerk." he starts off with a million hurried excuses about his family and his mom and hes busy and such and such...im like "you still couldve called" im not sure if maybe this is sorta irrational cuz like always...hes gotten into trouble again and hes grounded from the phone we get into this whole conversation about our relationship...hes like "i hate that im treating you like crap" (he used another word,lol)....and i think thats the weirdest thing...i was like "you act as if its out of your hands" i wonder why he doesnt want to fix it...then he says that hes tired of fixing things and that hes just wants to do what he wants to do..i tell him that when he does stuff like this it makes me feel like crap and he doesnt say anything and i start getting weary...it starts seeming to me like he doesnt want to go out anymore...then hes like "i just want to chill"...and he tells me how the rest of his family is leaving on friday...hes like "i just dont want to piss you off anymore"...i tell him flat out that I personally dont want to break up...i tell him that i think we're great together...he agrees...then, weird enough, we start joking around with all our inside jokes...he says that he needs to get off the phone cuz he wasnt supposed to be on the phone in the first place...i tell him that im not calling him anymore cuz im the only one, after all, doing all the calling...then hes like "then i call you"....then hes like "two words for you though: im sorry"...i tell him that i do care about him..he echoes the sentiment which is great...but.... arent these the biggest mixed signals ever? geez, and he says that IM hard to read...i dont get it... Link to post Share on other sites
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