Reasons why strong attractions sometimes fail to become relationships?

[Bobbie]

I haven't been looking, been having a great life lately as single.

 

Then enter a man who makes me feel weak, I clearly affect him too.

 

And despite going out to dinner, working closely together, talking in depth etc- no relationship is building.

 

What are reasons other people have had where this happens.

 

It's a bit frustrating: you wait ages for a really attractive on multi-levels person then it just doesn't gel....!

[messed-mind]

Maybe you don't like him as much as you think? Maybe the mystique is more alluring than building a relationship? Sometimes people just don't work.

 

I've been very attracted to girls in my office, from afar, then i've got to know them and the feelings are extinguished when they open their mouths.

[norajane]

He might have a girlfriend, he might not be as attracted as you think he is, he might want to keep things cool as you do work closely together and office romances can lead to disaster if things don't work out, he might enjoy the flirtation and the ego boost, but doesn't want to get into a relationship, he might like you as a person, but doesn't necessarily see you two being compatible for a relationship, there may be someone else he is currently pursuing that he likes more, he might enjoy not dating but still having relationships with women, he may be dating multiple people already...

[LucreziaBorgia]

It could be a simple matter of mathematics:

 

Relationship - attraction = incompatibility

 

There have been a few people I've been with, had great sex with, and some great times hanging out with but when it comes right down to it - if there were no attraction there and no sex, would we still be compatible? Not in the ways necessary to carry an actual relationship. Its pretty easy to avoid relationships with a person like this, if you are still shopping around so to speak. It could be that he simply isn't vulnerable to falling into a relationship right now, and is keeping his options open.

[LoveLace]

Our ideal good relationship includes components that we consider to important: chemistry, sex, friendship, communication, attraction, etc...sometimes one component is stronger than the other but can survive the way it is. Sometimes 1 or more components are missing, or just not strong enough. None of them can withstand a relationship alone. It sounds like you know something isn't there, you just don't know what it is.

[RecordProducer]

I figure you like him physically and you have great conversations. You believe he is a great guy and everything, but he doesn't approach you as a woman. Apparently your feelings are not mutual. He might not be as attracted to you as you are to him. He might be in love with someone else (his ex). He might be gay. He might have prejudices about your race, nationality, religion, education, social or financial status, mental or physical health. He might feel threatened by your personality, success, beauty, brains, energy, class, friends, parents, etc.

 

After all, maybe he will approach you as a woman some day soon.

[Topper]

have you ever told him how attracted you are to him?

How many threads do we read here that some woman says i was sending out signals and he didn't respond.

Now how many threads to do we read from guys asking is she interested or just wants to be friends?

Woman always think guys can read minds. We can do some pretty amazing things. Reading a woman's mind isn't one of them. I wish we could it would make our lives so much easier!

Be honest be direct. Tell him how you feel. See what happens. He may be thinking she only wants to be friends. He could be taking it slow because he does not want to scare you off. He could be very shy! Or as others have said he may not be on the same page as you, already has a girlfriend , or gay or whatever!