Question

[RichC]

For Christians: if you converted to Christianity after marriage what problems or benefits happened in the marriage (or relationship)?

[lonelybird]

I didn't marry yet, but after convert to Christianity, all kinds of relationships are improved. I won't be overly analyze certain situation because if Lord didn't say I made a big mistake, then I guess it was fine, phew......., I am able to hold my stand strong, I won't be anxiety like before. If I am overly selfish to certain people, Lord will show me where and how. sometimes just simply OBEY Lord, this will bring many merits to relationships.

[Moai]

For Christians: if you converted to Christianity after marriage what problems or benefits happened in the marriage (or relationship)?

 

Having read lonley bird's post, as usual she just asserts something with no evidence.

 

The fact is that 90% of marriages where the couple finds Jesus after being married end in divorce.

 

Fundamentalist Christians have the highest incidence of divorce. Atheists and agnostics have the fewest number of divorces.

 

And on and on. Believers swear up and down that their beliefs lead you to a righteous and moral path, but in point of fact it would seem the opposite is true.

 

Lest the believer say it is all a Satanic lie, the group that came up with these number is an evangelical Christian group--namely, the Barna Research Group.

 

Look it up for yourself.

[pureinheart]

Having read lonley bird's post, as usual she just asserts something with no evidence.

 

The fact is that 90% of marriages where the couple finds Jesus after being married end in divorce.

 

Fundamentalist Christians have the highest incidence of divorce. Atheists and agnostics have the fewest number of divorces.

 

And on and on. Believers swear up and down that their beliefs lead you to a righteous and moral path, but in point of fact it would seem the opposite is true.

 

Lest the believer say it is all a Satanic lie, the group that came up with these number is an evangelical Christian group--namely, the Barna Research Group.

 

Look it up for yourself.

 

The poster asked an individual question, meaning individual learned experiences.

 

Lonelybird was simply communicating her personal experience.

 

Polls are good, yet we are still individuals, not one of us exactly the same....to get a completely accurate poll would one that polls everyone in the world or at the very least, national, I have issues with small group polls.

 

One example would be how the Medical Community concludes "normal ranges" in methods of blood tests, ect...is this really accurate? I have found that my normal is completely different, and can be "out of normal range"....the range gives a guildeline, yet is not completely accurate in all forms of testing.

 

I failed with marriage both before conversion and after, which is indicative of a problem with me, and a greater need to clean me up. God/Jesus/Holy Spirit have walked me through each step, as I had tried to do this on my own and failed miserably.

 

My failures in life have all turned to victories and accomplishments, in all things....including relationships.

[pureinheart]

For Christians: if you converted to Christianity after marriage what problems or benefits happened in the marriage (or relationship)?

 

An overall view: Usually at the time of conversion the individual can be immature and is called a "baby Christian". This can be extremely frustrating if this person is immature emotionally also. Very rarely does the person come to Christ "fixed".

 

The baby Christian, in most cases has an "awakening" to most things in Christ, if they are emotionally immature, and lacks proper communication skills, this can be frustrating to those around them....this can be a major problem.

 

Most people turn to Jesus due to great need, a knowledge that they are not sufficient in themselves and do need a savior. It took years to clean me up, and am still not done.

 

Conversion was difficult for me and those around me because I was a mess and had acquired some very deep rooted issues. I was extremely rebellious, angry, bitter, hard-headed, self destructive, strong willed, ect...and the list went on and on. I might add that most of these issues were buried deep, and did not come out all of the time, in fact most people considered me light hearted....that is the game I had to play to survive.

 

God started clean up on me immediately and it was not pretty....I reacted big-time....I left my husband because I was selfish and many other not so good characteristics....these are all things that happened before conversion due to various happenings in my life prior....

 

Even after conversion I began to rack up more things....and finally with the next marriage went to a marriage restoration group....that was one turning point for me. Remembering one incident in particular....I was screaming at everyone, hate and self righteousness just pouring out....God stopped me, He turned the mirror on me, I saw my heart and it was horrible, I cried for 4 days straight....since then have been dying to self.

 

Through conversion God has revealed over time that I have chosen partners that were as messed up as me or worse....please keep in mind they were not "bad people" per say and in all relationships have remained friends with all of them...

 

Conversion equals clean up, clean up equals maturity in choices, and desiring Gods perfect will and not His permissive will.

[Love Hurts]

For Christians: if you converted to Christianity after marriage what problems or benefits happened in the marriage (or relationship)?

 

Rich, great Q.

 

My parents were both unsaved upon marriage. I recall my mother got saved first … and then my father-fallowed suit. It a made a positive diff in our household.

 

Before his salvation, they fought a good deal. I recall spaghetti plates sliding down the kitchen wall before dinner was served and the coffee pot and toaster lying out in the back lawn. They would lock each other out of the house, it was crazy times.

 

Once he was saved…. Unison was a gift under the same roof with them. To this day they are inseparable… they are so beautiful in spirit and in the flesh together in the Lord.

 

Today they can share the same language, where before my father was saved, my mother spoke in a foreign tongue and my father could not understand her. I am not speaking of the literal speaking in tongue of fire and Holy Spirit gift… its that language of Jesus he could not hear or understand.

 

But he loved her so much … he said; I had to find out what my sweet heart found that I didn’t have?

 

So he whole-heartedly looked into this so called Jesus and was smitten…oh God is so good to those that seek Him. I was so blessed and am so blessed to have my beautiful parents in the Lord both saved.

 

I tell you I do not know of another in couple on the planet that is more romantic and loving than they are between one another… my father is six foot plus and I have seen him crawl on his knees in tears to my mother and say my God woman I love you and Praise Jesus for a blessed life with you.

 

Oh my God they have what you cannot purchase in a store…its the rare true love… a gift only a the true living God could give. And He gave more than a portion to these two indidiviuals making them seemingly one lovely person in heart… Praise Jesus.

 

I know He did and I know why… God gave them a son that would never walk a day in his life… my brother. He too is so handsome and none can know he is handicapped at first glance…as he sits in his chair. My brother was brought into this world by a young navy Dr. that had a mishap with the forceps and damaged my brothers temples which caused his palsy… so he does not have the look of a palsy victim… he looks as though he should get up and walk… but he cant… and I know God did something special between my parents … perhaps for the sake of my brother … who to this day remains with them.

 

And laughter; is sewn into each day as a gift… love and laughter is in that warm loving happy home I grew up in…its another gift that my parents never age. They look like they are in their 40s at most and often times younger they have a gift of youth and beauty as well as amazing health ……there are no meds in their home… God keeps them all healthy happy, beautiful and smiling, as well as strong …Oh God has blessed them much….

I had not seen them in a while and visited just a few days ago….I expected mom to look older a little anyway…. She opened the door and I almost fell over…I was shocked.

 

I said my God you just get more beautiful and younger every year! Her hair cut is so chick and she has the most beautiful blue eyes, my mother was pure white blond as a youth and has never ever turned gray her color is totally awesome, and still not a wrinkle. My daughter said mom, I so proud to say that man is my grandfather, because he is so handsome and young … lol…..I laughed and said when I was a young girl……I was proud this tall handsome and cool man was my father. So I know what you mean…

 

I know I am going on and on with you all…but I tell you if you have seen Elvis Presley. My father is a relative in looks to him, my father is larger built man than him in statute. My father use to love to wear cleats on his shoes I recall him walking down a long sidewalk. I could hear him coming home… it was music to my ears just hearing his cleats… then I would look and watch him… you know he walked with his thumbs pointing out of his fists, he was cool to me when I didn’t know what cool was, I just knew my father was of a different caliber than most men I met.

 

He has some kind of charisma in a man…Yes he is a rare one… very special and wise… he is no fool, he can quote the word of God and turns the other cheek and Praise Jesus no one crazy enough ever wanted to take him on anyway. As I tell you he seems to be more of a man to marvel at than one to take down.

 

I may have gone on a bit much here…but I have something in my heart that I to this day will always say my God I would not trade parents for any in the world. They are all that and never cease to amaze me. God has done a marvel in two people and its worth the mention. Not all children marvel at their parents…so I hope this helps to explain where I’m coming from.

 

God is good…try Him first, try Him last…try Him… we never loose with God.

Without God between my parents early on in their relationship…two very lovely people could be separated today as for a time they were unequally yoked in the Lord.

 

Love brought them together and love for my mother drove my father to Christ. Now its God first and then others, and themselves last…. I should tell you Gods formula for success; Never puts His own in the bottom of the barrel. God makes all things work together for good.

So real question is: no matter what…. Can You Do The Time?

Its never; how strong is God? Its always; how strong are we?

 

God Bless*

Ps. my parents met before they entered the first grade. He said I loved that little white haired girl in pigtails the first time I saw her and I didn’t even know her name.

Their parents moved their families many times in their lives and my mother and father as children kept ending up living in the same neighborhoods... imagine that.

 

On the last move of their youth [at that time they were new teens]

my mothers brother brought a new friend to the house as my mother springing down a stair case... my father looked up and said [to himself] my God its her!

 

To this day they can tell stories from their youth and say God was apparent in their lives before they knew Him. And as for youth they still are young.... none can guess their true age. [lest they know them]

 

 

God Bless* and know I enjoyed sharing this with you all.

[Moai]

The poster asked an individual question, meaning individual learned experiences.

 

Lonelybird was simply communicating her personal experience.

 

That may be so. I sometimes have a difficult time deciphering her posts--but she does an amazing job considering English is not her first language. I admire her ability immensely, and even envy it.

 

Polls are good, yet we are still individuals, not one of us exactly the same....to get a completely accurate poll would one that polls everyone in the world or at the very least, national, I have issues with small group polls.

 

You can check the data for yourself. They didn't just ask one person from each group, the study was comprehensive. It also jibes with census data and studies done in other countries. It is specious to suggest that one must ask everyone something to get an accurate poll.

 

And one need not only look at polls. It is a fact that the Southern US has more Fundamentalist Christians than the Northern or Western states. On a state by state basis, the South has higher instances of teen pregnancy than do the other regions. The Southern states have a higher rate of divorce, drug use and spousal abuse. Is Fundamentalism the cause of this? Maybe yes, maybe no. But it can be said that god belief is not a guarantor of morality or fewer social ills.

 

While lonelybird's relationships may have improved, all data suggests that her experience is not a universal one. In point of fact, the most rational societies on Earth are also the most peaceful, and have fewer social problems.

 

One example would be how the Medical Community concludes "normal ranges" in methods of blood tests, ect...is this really accurate? I have found that my normal is completely different, and can be "out of normal range"....the range gives a guildeline, yet is not completely accurate in all forms of testing.

 

Huh? I would ask what are they testing your blood for? A normal range for what?

 

I failed with marriage both before conversion and after, which is indicative of a problem with me, and a greater need to clean me up. God/Jesus/Holy Spirit have walked me through each step, as I had tried to do this on my own and failed miserably.

 

My failures in life have all turned to victories and accomplishments, in all things....including relationships.

 

With the above you make my point for me.

[lonelybird]

That may be so. I sometimes have a difficult time deciphering her posts--but she does an amazing job considering English is not her first language. I admire her ability immensely, and even envy it.

....

Thank you, Moai, your English is good already, don't have to envy me:p

[lonelybird]

Rich, great Q.

 

My parents were both unsaved upon marriage. I recall my mother got saved first … and then my father-fallowed suit. It a made a positive diff in our household.

 

Before his salvation, they fought a good deal. I recall spaghetti plates sliding down the kitchen wall before dinner was served and the coffee pot and toaster lying out in the back lawn. They would lock each other out of the house, it was crazy times.

 

Once he was saved…. Unison was a gift under the same roof with them. To this day they are inseparable… they are so beautiful in spirit and in the flesh together in the Lord.

 

Today they can share the same language, where before my father was saved, my mother spoke in a foreign tongue and my father could not understand her. I am not speaking of the literal speaking in tongue of fire and Holy Spirit gift… its that language of Jesus he could not hear or understand.

 

But he loved her so much … he said; I had to find out what my sweet heart found that I didn’t have?

 

So he whole-heartedly looked into this so called Jesus and was smitten…oh God is so good to those that seek Him. I was so blessed and am so blessed to have my beautiful parents in the Lord both saved.

 

I tell you I do not know of another in couple on the planet that is more romantic and loving than they are between one another… my father is six foot plus and I have seen him crawl on his knees in tears to my mother and say my God woman I love you and Praise Jesus for a blessed life with you.

 

Oh my God they have what you cannot purchase in a store…its the rare true love… a gift only a the true living God could give. And He gave more than a portion to these two indidiviuals making them seemingly one lovely person in heart… Praise Jesus.

 

I know He did and I know why… God gave them a son that would never walk a day in his life… my brother. He too is so handsome and none can know he is handicapped at first glance…as he sits in his chair. My brother was brought into this world by a young navy Dr. that had a mishap with the forceps and damaged my brothers temples which caused his palsy… so he does not have the look of a palsy victim… he looks as though he should get up and walk… but he cant… and I know God did something special between my parents … perhaps for the sake of my brother … who to this day remains with them.

 

And laughter; is sewn into each day as a gift… love and laughter is in that warm loving happy home I grew up in…its another gift that my parents never age. They look like they are in their 40s at most and often times younger they have a gift of youth and beauty as well as amazing health ……there are no meds in their home… God keeps them all healthy happy, beautiful and smiling, as well as strong …Oh God has blessed them much….

I had not seen them in a while and visited just a few days ago….I expected mom to look older a little anyway…. She opened the door and I almost fell over…I was shocked.

 

I said my God you just get more beautiful and younger every year! Her hair cut is so chick and she has the most beautiful blue eyes, my mother was pure white blond as a youth and has never ever turned gray her color is totally awesome, and still not a wrinkle. My daughter said mom, I so proud to say that man is my grandfather, because he is so handsome and young … lol…..I laughed and said when I was a young girl……I was proud this tall handsome and cool man was my father. So I know what you mean…

 

I know I am going on and on with you all…but I tell you if you have seen Elvis Presley. My father is a relative in looks to him, my father is larger built man than him in statute. My father use to love to wear cleats on his shoes I recall him walking down a long sidewalk. I could hear him coming home… it was music to my ears just hearing his cleats… then I would look and watch him… you know he walked with his thumbs pointing out of his fists, he was cool to me when I didn’t know what cool was, I just knew my father was of a different caliber than most men I met.

 

He has some kind of charisma in a man…Yes he is a rare one… very special and wise… he is no fool, he can quote the word of God and turns the other cheek and Praise Jesus no one crazy enough ever wanted to take him on anyway. As I tell you he seems to be more of a man to marvel at than one to take down.

 

I may have gone on a bit much here…but I have something in my heart that I to this day will always say my God I would not trade parents for any in the world. They are all that and never cease to amaze me. God has done a marvel in two people and its worth the mention. Not all children marvel at their parents…so I hope this helps to explain where I’m coming from.

 

God is good…try Him first, try Him last…try Him… we never loose with God.

Without God between my parents early on in their relationship…two very lovely people could be separated today as for a time they were unequally yoked in the Lord.

 

Love brought them together and love for my mother drove my father to Christ. Now its God first and then others, and themselves last…. I should tell you Gods formula for success; Never puts His own in the bottom of the barrel. God makes all things work together for good.

So real question is: no matter what…. Can You Do The Time?

Its never; how strong is God? Its always; how strong are we?

 

God Bless*

Ps. my parents met before they entered the first grade. He said I loved that little white haired girl in pigtails the first time I saw her and I didn’t even know her name.

Their parents moved their families many times in their lives and my mother and father as children kept ending up living in the same neighborhoods... imagine that.

 

On the last move of their youth [at that time they were new teens]

my mothers brother brought a new friend to the house as my mother springing down a stair case... my father looked up and said [to himself] my God its her!

 

To this day they can tell stories from their youth and say God was apparent in their lives before they knew Him. And as for youth they still are young.... none can guess their true age. [lest they know them]

 

 

God Bless* and know I enjoyed sharing this with you all.

Love Hurts

This post is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Can I ask how do your brother think about life? Does he simply accept that he cannot walk in his whole life? Is he happy?

Love

God bless:love:

[Love Hurts]

Love Hurts

This post is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Can I ask how do your brother think about life? Does he simply accept that he cannot walk in his whole life? Is he happy?

Love

God bless:love:

 

LB,

 

Thank you for asking and for telling me it was a beautiful post. I appreciate it much.

 

As for my brother, lol I can say he is a laugh; he laughs at we girls when we fall and cry and he … he tells us things that are so simple as if we didn’t know in advance… but so speaks wisdom of the 20/20 view as well as foresight.

 

So the greatest gift he is to us is… he makes us laugh when we want him to cry with us.

 

Sometimes in tears I look at him and say your insensitive and before you know it… his one liners get me laughing so hard I could wet my pants and forget why I was upset in the first place. He is a joy and a blessing.

 

If we ever have tried to have a pity party for our brother we are smitten hard. And rebuked by him. We are not aloud to pity him… God has a plan and that is it bottom line… God is in charge of all things… and lets go on from on from here shall we!

 

That is the overall attitude of my parents and brother.

As far the potential to sue… it was there for my parents twice and they would not do it.

 

They said everyone makes mistakes… lets go on and forgive our brothers and sisters.

My parents could be very wealthy from two separate potential lawsuits in their favor… each time representatives from the so called guilty party arrived before my parents asking for a signature of waver... my father had no problem not signing… I guess people think he is a nut…

 

He is not… instead he is a forgiving man and gives all to God…

 

I can tell you in the long run… the blessings of God out weigh the gifts of men on earth.

 

But you already know that!!!

 

God Bless* Lonelybird…. T.Y. for asking again… It was and is a joy to speak of my family.

 

PS. you are my family too ... I love you sis.

Wait till you meet this brother...lol.

[lonelybird]

LB,

 

Thank you for asking and for telling me it was a beautiful post. I appreciate it much.

 

As for my brother, lol I can say he is a laugh; he laughs at we girls when we fall and cry and he … he tells us things that are so simple as if we didn’t know in advance… but so speaks wisdom of the 20/20 view as well as foresight.

 

So the greatest gift he is to us is… he makes us laugh when we want him to cry with us.

 

Sometimes in tears I look at him and say your insensitive and before you know it… his one liners get me laughing so hard I could wet my pants and forget why I was upset in the first place. He is a joy and a blessing.

 

If we ever have tried to have a pity party for our brother we are smitten hard. And rebuked by him. We are not aloud to pity him… God has a plan and that is it bottom line… God is in charge of all things… and lets go on from on from here shall we!

 

That is the overall attitude of my parents and brother.

As far the potential to sue… it was there for my parents twice and they would not do it.

 

They said everyone makes mistakes… lets go on and forgive our brothers and sisters.

My parents could be very wealthy from two separate potential lawsuits in their favor… each time representatives from the so called guilty party arrived before my parents asking for a signature of waver... my father had no problem not signing… I guess people think he is a nut…

 

He is not… instead he is a forgiving man and gives all to God…

 

I can tell you in the long run… the blessings of God out weigh the gifts of men on earth.

 

But you already know that!!!

 

God Bless* Lonelybird…. T.Y. for asking again… It was and is a joy to speak of my family.

 

PS. you are my family too ... I love you sis.

Wait till you meet this brother...lol.

Love Hurts

Yes, your post is beautiful and encouraging. and warm heart. I thank God for you. Your whole family are such precious people, I admire all of you. Lord really make wonderful people! and Your brother is so cool, he is a hero:love: I cannot wait to meet him:D

Thank you for saying I am your family, I love you so much sis:love:

Praise God! Indeed the blessings of God out weigh the gifts of men on earth.

 

God bless Love hurts

[pureinheart]

Hey Moai,

 

I had a bout, and am about at the end of hyperthyoidism....have had much bloodwork lately and have learned much as this thing affects almost all organs in the body....also have done much research and the heads of research are changing the ranges, they want to hold closer tolerances (ranges) as many have different "normals".....they want to close the gap a bit.

 

Certainly I am not able to speak for the majority, although can speak for me. Without God/Jesus/Holy Spirit I would be dead by now and would not be able speak anything right now....any and all morality, integrity, wisdom, knowledge, understanding, joy, hope, peace and love have all come from God. The world can also have some or all of these things, although there is still lack....the world lacks eternal security, I lack nothing.

 

When first coming to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, there was no lack at that point, it took time to get there emotionally though, many years as I was very damaged, I did need a saviour. The divorces were not because of conversion, they were do to the flesh on both sides.

[pureinheart]

Love Hurts....

 

That is the most touching story of events in your parents lives. Praise God that your parents are saved, it makes such a big difference.

 

Mine were not, and I found it difficult to communicate with them after becoming saved....they could not share in my joy. When I first got saved they wanted to hear nothing of salvation, although throughout the years i continued to minister to them (they hated it and wished I would have shut up....lol).

 

They were divorced and had re-married, one when I was 7, the other when I was 16.....I prayed for their salvation all of the time.

 

Though the memory has faded, shortly before my fathers death I had been sick for weeks (now I realize it was this autoimmune thing) and all of a sudden popped off the couch and began praising God in a deep intercession, followed by deep travail....I sensed this was for my father....3 weeks later got the call, father in the hospital, that was it...he was in a coma and I spoke the word to him, coma or no coma, he heard me. I told a very gifted, wise lady of my story with all the details (I've forgotten most of them over the years) and she sensed he got saved in the end.

 

Concerning my mother, towards the end she wanted to die, she was tired of living, I told her to talk to God about it, and see if He might have mercy concerning her desire. The night before she died, the Lord took me into deep meditation and told me to prepare as things would change quickly....I was not in tune and was very stressed out and did not understand....the next morning she called early in the morning asking me to take her to the doctor, she communicated her desire to die again, and I told her the same thing....5 minutes later my step-dad called frantically saying he called 911, she had a heart attack and was gone.

 

I held much against my parents for many years....it was easier some how to forgive my father, and I recently forgave my mom and have been in the grieving process....have been so numb for so many years.

 

An angry child grew to and angry adult, but hid it well.....about 8 years ago was determined, equipped with the knowledge of generational curses, so decided to lay down my life to change this mess for my kids....I was so angry, went through much attacks, purgings, cleansings, ect....then one day asked the Lord, "why me God, why didn't my mother do this, maybe my life would have turned out different!"....He said, "why not you"......I shut up.

 

God equipped me for this task, not my mother, and it has taken all of this time to realize this.

 

I hated being a stepchild, and have many stories that would blow many minds concerning what I went through (and to some degree am still going through)....but my parents loved me, and all is well....

 

Maybe the problem is a lack of conversion.....

 

Sorry Love Hurts....got off on a tangent....but it did me good to share this...no longer am numb, and see things the way they really are.....

 

Your story touched my heart....it is your story that speaks loud concerning dreams coming true....the worst is over and the best is yet to come....GBU!!!!!!