back with my ex but his friends may be a problem??

[sugarstar]

i was in a relationship with this guy for over a year and i lived with him. it was the first time i had lived with a partner and we kind of rushed in to moving in together too quick, which is one of the reasons that we started to have problems. things began to get a little hectic and i broke it off about four months ago. well we remained civil and we still talked but the whole time i regreted it sooo much. in the past four months ive really done some thinking and soul searching and i know that i still really love him a lot, i just bailed out too quick when things got difficult. just recently we started going out to dinner and on little "dates" and stuff, and we have been talking about getting back together. he is very understanding and we both agree on what went wrong and we both have accepted blame where blame is due. i have apologized for leaving him and he has forgiven me and said that he will not throw it in my face or hold it against me, and that he understands that people make mistakes. sounds great right? well my problem is that his friends, "the guys" who are all great people by the way, are really close to him, they are like his family and they are all still so pissed at me for leaving him and breaking his heart. they are a very big part of his life, and used to be of mine, and they are kind of protective of him. so he says he wants to keep this a secret from them for a while, us getting back together and everything. do you think that this will work out seeing how much a part of his life his friends are, and do you think its a good idea to keep it a secret from them? i feel like they will be mad at him for keeping it from them and i also understand that they only care about him and dont want him to be hurt again. do you think maybe i might be able to sit down and try to talk to his friends eventually, and try to assure them that i will not break his heart again? any advice would be greatly appriciated and thanks for listening!

[Guest]

Sugarstar.

 

I believe that if the two of you really want to make a decent go of this it should be in a truly honest manner. To go into a relationship as a 'secret' seems unacceptable to me (even if you feel that you are to blame for the demise of the relationship).

 

His friends will eventually find out about your relationship anyway and they will still be mad then so what is the difference if they should know right from the start?

 

I would definitely state that there should be no secrets here. He should be proud to be dating you and not want to keep you hidden from his family and friends (even in spite of the break up).