Not fitting in at work..Am I wasting my time?

[Rewind]

one of the vps I get the feeling that she isn't that fond of me considering I always catch her giving me the evil eye or staring at me So thing is..I feel like I don't fit in with my coworkers. They're all around my age or older, some in their 30's but maturity wise they act like they're 17 and are all geeky. Of course the "group" all sit by one another, laugh and talk all day and I sit no where near them..I'm by my boss. My boss is a nice guy, laid back and on the quiet side like me. Anyway the other secretary who supports the group before I came along is buddy buddy with all them, we get along but she's also only 20 and immature.. I'm older. She can never sit down, has to prance around making her rounds with the "guys" as she calls them or kissing behind and me well I'm the total opposite. She'll offer her help to me and as she's doing it look to see if my boss is looking I guess to make it look like "oh there's our number one secretary offering her help":rolleyes: I always say hello to everyone and I've tried and tried to make small talk with them but really..it's like pulling teeth. They don't come over by my desk to try to get to know me and if I've walked over to them it's like akward. Now I'm making good money and this job is only till I finish grad school but that's a long ways ahead. I am a pretty girl, I notice alot of guys looking at me..I dress nice every day etc so I don't know if some of them are intimidated or what it is. Or maybe bc they know I'm in grad school and won't be around long it annoys them..I dunno. Alot of times I'll turn my head and see either the vp, or this other girl looking at me while talking to someone which I dont know is coiendence or they're trying to see what's on my computer screen. Thing is I wouldn't befriend any of them in a million years if it wasn't for the fact that I work with them and have to try to be nice bc I have nothing in common with any of them. I pretty much came to the conclusion that working in office settings just isn't for me. All of my jobs I had during college I got along great with my coworkes and bosses. I would never not talk to them, or be mean and like I said I'm trying. The other secretary is always giggling and play fighting with some 30 yr old married guy whose in our group and then if I go over it's like oh hi..like I was interupting something and I get this look:rolleyes:. He also acts like he's never seen breasts before since he seems to not be able to keep his eyes off mine. If I worked for my boss and that's it..it would be great. Then if she sees me talking to "the guys" she'll say oh I see you're really starting to fit it..ok is this a h.s. lunch table? My boss also tells me the "guys" are going to give me work to do and they never do. I don't know if he's lying or if they don't listen to him and decide they aren't going to give me anything. Is it possible to just have a job where you go in, do your work and don't have to worry about not "fitting in" bc you don't watch star wars lol? Should I give it more time or leave a job bc of people?

[Green]

You should where sexier outfits to work you seem to think your sexy so why not let those nerds drool over you... If you really hate the job start looking for a job you think you'll like better. Try to gauge and see if things are getting slightly more comfortable to you if these guys truely are starwars geeks there is a getting comfortable period they have to go through till they will be comfortable enough to joke around with you things might get better when they start to budy up with you. You should definetly screw one of them who holds power over the rest then you'll be in for sure and theyl be in u

[jerbear]

Should I give it more time or leave a job bc of people?

 

How new are you?

 

I would stick it out for at least one year before moving on. It is easier to get a job when you have one.

 

In another thread, you mentioned the company maybe laying people off. I would stick around and get the severence pay if that is the case; plus you qualify for unemployment. Either way, stick around for 1 year and look for new positions during that time.

 

Instead of Darth Vader, get a Darth Tater (Mr. Potato Head) and put it on your desk.

[kepners]

KMT! WFT! thats the advise to get her isolated. it can be both way that shes a prickerly person.

i know one thing.... when i started a job when i was 20, i was abused every ****ing day by everyone, because i was the youngest by miles!!! but you know what happened, after 6months of sticking it out and learning the job and not taunghting them (ie the dressing sexy crap!) i earn my own respect from these people. i showed them i wasnt just a meat head, that i had a brain etc. and one by one they dropped, PLUS when the newer younger people started, i had somethng in comman with them, helped them breaking in to he company and by the end i was top of the NEW SOCIAL TREE that didnt judge people!!

but, if you want to make life a living HELL do as KMT says and amp it UP! :S or you can just knuckle down and get on with the job and dont think ****ing ur way is a way to sort things out... because ur totally selling urself short by doing it.

its like the female work version of running away from something. plus by ****ing the boss EVERYONE WILL HATE YOU MEN AND WOMEN PERIOD!!! i have alot of advise about work situations, so i can help you. but only leave if it is totally unbarable - cuz otherwise it wont look good on ur CV just walking out after 3months.

just stay and knuckle down and the tied will turn! or whore it up and u will be washed to sea! HAHAH

[Green]

I just read into what she wrote, she really felt the need to let us know how sexy she thinks she is in her post so I said play to her strength, and she made a point of showing that her co workers were nerdy sci fi guys she would never normaly hang out with. Thus what do nerdy sci fi guys do around women they clam up and get nervous, unless ultra sexyness thus princess lay ah chained to Juba the hut in some sort of slave girl outfit. Look I know what I'm talking about here Im an American.

[kepners]

HAHAH u have just rinsed her! HAHAHAH oh my days!!! HAHAH

 

legend. its the same everywhere with nerds and pretty girls... ok girls in general... ahahah.

 

u know what its only work.. its only 8hours everyday day, but it can become very problematic, but i guess its no different to a friend hating you etc, but in life you cant get on with everyone.

oh and one more thing, goodlooking men often friends with alot of people(MOI HAHAHAHA) goodlooking women are friends with blokes who want to **** them and ugly birds - and occasionally if they have grown up with them other fit birds. its a lonely life if ur a pretty woman, because not do blokes not respect u properly neither do the women. and i believe because of makeup and clothes and heels and nail anf blonde hair and fake boobs.... there are MORE FIT WOMEN THAN FIT BLOKES.

 

so she maynot be all that, she can just put war paint on and wears slag wellies to work...

[Green]

I could barely understand you but maybe your getting it, maybe your not. In the end work is its own little world and you become one person at work and that identity becomes you, the identity you use at work is often differnet from the identity you portray in the outside work world thats one big reason u usualy dont find managment hanging out with the regular employees after work...

[kepners]

HAHAH u have just rinsed (takent the piss out of her) her! HAHAHAH oh my days(WOW)!!! HAHAH

 

legend. its the same everywhere with nerds and pretty girls... ok girls in general... ahahah.

 

u know what its only work.. its only 8hours everyday day, but it can become very problematic, but i guess its no different to a friend hating you etc, but in life you cant get on with everyone.

oh and one more thing, goodlooking men are often friends with alot of people( AKA : MOI *HAHAHAHA*) goodlooking women sadily are friends with blokes who want to **** them and ugly birds who want tobe them - and occasionally if they have grown up with them other fit birds. its a lonely life if ur a pretty woman, because not only do blokes not respect u properly neither do women.

i believe because of makeup and clothes and heels and nail and blonde hair and fake boobs.... there are MORE FIT WOMEN THAN FIT BLOKES (because you can polish a turd with all the above tools)

 

so she maynot be all that,however she can just put ON war paint (makeup) and can wear slag wellies (nightclubbing heels) to work... an can make her self look half decent.

hehe

[Green]

you basicaly put the same post twice with a few edits... very pec

[Rewind]

How new are you?

 

I would stick it out for at least one year before moving on. It is easier to get a job when you have one.

 

In another thread, you mentioned the company maybe laying people off. I would stick around and get the severence pay if that is the case; plus you qualify for unemployment. Either way, stick around for 1 year and look for new positions during that time.

 

Instead of Darth Vader, get a Darth Tater (Mr. Potato Head) and put it on your desk.

yeah I didn't get laid off luckly. I was thinking the same to try to stick with it for at least 6 months-a year. It is a good company to work for so the experience alone could help be get something better in the future.

[Rewind]

I just read into what she wrote, she really felt the need to let us know how sexy she thinks she is in her post so I said play to her strength, and she made a point of showing that her co workers were nerdy sci fi guys she would never normaly hang out with. Thus what do nerdy sci fi guys do around women they clam up and get nervous, unless ultra sexyness thus princess lay ah chained to Juba the hut in some sort of slave girl outfit. Look I know what I'm talking about here Im an American.

lol I said nothing about taunting them. I'm a nice person and like I said I am friendly to them and try to fit in with their click. Dressing nice does not equl wlaking around half nakes. It means i But seriously I have to sell myself short and pretend to be someone I'm not?

[Rewind]

HAHAH u have just rinsed her! HAHAHAH oh my days!!! HAHAH

 

legend. its the same everywhere with nerds and pretty girls... ok girls in general... ahahah.

 

u know what its only work.. its only 8hours everyday day, but it can become very problematic, but i guess its no different to a friend hating you etc, but in life you cant get on with everyone.

oh and one more thing, goodlooking men often friends with alot of people(MOI HAHAHAHA) goodlooking women are friends with blokes who want to **** them and ugly birds - and occasionally if they have grown up with them other fit birds. its a lonely life if ur a pretty woman, because not do blokes not respect u properly neither do the women. and i believe because of makeup and clothes and heels and nail anf blonde hair and fake boobs.... there are MORE FIT WOMEN THAN FIT BLOKES.

 

so she maynot be all that, she can just put war paint on and wears slag wellies to work...

english?????

[Green]

Yes pertend to be some one your not, or become some one you wernt its your choice. Dress sexy! lifes to short

[kepners]

english?????

 

and what on earth dont you understand?

[District]

get over yourself. its work, not a popularity contest. drop the attitude about how you "dress to sexy to associate yourself with these counter strike geeks who like to have lan parties", they probably think you dress like an euro trash whore.

 

geeks/nerds/dorks are hot.

 

it took me 6mo-1 year to fit in at work...

[Jade 02]

rewind

Bless your heart hun. Just hold your head up high,and make the best of each day that comes. I know its hard to deal with a boring day,but your getting a good size pay for it.Time heals all wounds. Don't quit tho.

That s**t goes on at my job too. They are just jealous of something.

[dropdeadlegs]

It is very difficult to work in a clique-ish atmosphere. The one place where I did, I was lucky that one person in the clique had worked with me (not directly) at another place. That seemed to somehow give me a free entry pass for the most part. However, when other newcomers came in, I saw how the group could be so cold behind that persons back. They would be polite enough, but not really accepting at all. Lots of whispering about things that weren't always relevant to the office. Very few people made it into the group, and the outsiders that didn't get in didn't seem to stay very long, maybe a year and usually not that long.

 

You didn't say how long you have been there. I would see where you stand at 6 months and evaluate how tolerable or intolerable you find the situation. I think it is somewhat important to feel comfortable at work since you spend most of your waking hours there. It sounds like your job requires a pretty fair amount of interaction with these people - you're a secretary, right? You like your direct boss and that is most important. Aim to please her, and don't worry too much about the others.

 

I think that people like your "group" are very insecure in their positions at work, or maybe even in general. When people talk about someone's job capabilities that's one thing, but I found the clique to be concerned with things that don't even matter, like physical appearance and fashion sense. If someone does a good job, that's all that should really matter. At my place lunch time was the worst. It was truly like a high school lunch table.

 

Isn't it sad that many people don't evolve from a high school mentality?

 

I hope things get better, you seem to like your paycheck!

[Rewind]

get over yourself. its work, not a popularity contest. drop the attitude about how you "dress to sexy to associate yourself with these counter strike geeks who like to have lan parties", they probably think you dress like an euro trash whore.

 

geeks/nerds/dorks are hot.

 

it took me 6mo-1 year to fit in at work...

yet another one that SUCKS at reading comprehension. Please find where I said in my post anything about dressing sexy and I'll give you a cookie. Dressing nice means sexy? lol..please you get over yourself.

[Rewind]

It is very difficult to work in a clique-ish atmosphere. The one place where I did, I was lucky that one person in the clique had worked with me (not directly) at another place. That seemed to somehow give me a free entry pass for the most part. However, when other newcomers came in, I saw how the group could be so cold behind that persons back. They would be polite enough, but not really accepting at all. Lots of whispering about things that weren't always relevant to the office. Very few people made it into the group, and the outsiders that didn't get in didn't seem to stay very long, maybe a year and usually not that long.

 

You didn't say how long you have been there. I would see where you stand at 6 months and evaluate how tolerable or intolerable you find the situation. I think it is somewhat important to feel comfortable at work since you spend most of your waking hours there. It sounds like your job requires a pretty fair amount of interaction with these people - you're a secretary, right? You like your direct boss and that is most important. Aim to please her, and don't worry too much about the others.

 

I think that people like your "group" are very insecure in their positions at work, or maybe even in general. When people talk about someone's job capabilities that's one thing, but I found the clique to be concerned with things that don't even matter, like physical appearance and fashion sense. If someone does a good job, that's all that should really matter. At my place lunch time was the worst. It was truly like a high school lunch table.

 

Isn't it sad that many people don't evolve from a high school mentality?

 

I hope things get better, you seem to like your paycheck!

I'v been there almost 2 months. My theory on work cliques is that these were the people who probably were part of no cluiqe in h.s. or growing up so now as adults they have to band together.

[Green]

you should dress sexy, god I love it when the girls at work dress sexy.

[Rewind]

you should dress sexy, god I love it when the girls at work dress sexy.

but I don't lol..let's rephrase how I dress..I dress like I didn't fall out of bed.

[Green]

yes not very descriptive, I say where skirts that go above the knee the higher the better, show clevage and alot of arm. wear tight clothes!

[Guest]

I'v been there almost 2 months. My theory on work cliques is that these were the people who probably were part of no cluiqe in h.s. or growing up so now as adults they have to band together.

 

I have to agree with this. I started a new job recently and all of my coworkers (especially my immediate supervisor) are very gossipy and stay in their clique. My supervisor confided in me my first day that no one would talk to her in high school.