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desperate for advice


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I have been in love with a male friend of mine for nearly four years now. He fully understands how I feel and has never told me he does or does not feel the same way. We have never been more than friends and have never done more than kiss on the cheek or hug. We have been through alot together and have ended the friendship on several occasions but we always keep coming back to each other.

 

Each time we start getting too close and then we have to separate for some time. It is both of us not just one. About three weeks ago it started again where he became very distant from me, etc... the usual routine

 

Just recently I asked to kiss him good night for the first time ever and got no rejection. My intentions were to give him a simple kiss on the lips but he turned it into this long and passionate kiss that lasted about five minutes. Prior to the kiss I asked him two times if he would ever see me as more than a friend and he would not answer me. He said he loved me to death and that I was his best friend. I have asked him this before.... and begged him to tell me that he did not feel the same way so I could move on with my life. He said the same thing... I love you to death you are my best friend.

 

I do not know what to do.... can anyone help?

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Obviously you two have a special bond. It seems that he's starting to develop feelings that go beyond friendship but he's probably afraid to ruin the friendship.

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Thanks for your reply. It is nice to know people can still give friendly advice

 

I am certainly just as terrified. I compare it to walking into an expensive china shop.... everything is beautiful and perfect and you do not want to touch anything. But there is that one piece that strikes your eye that is indeed very valuable and special and if you walk out without it you may one day regret it because it will become a collectors item. It is the same with this friendship....

 

I know he is scared. But right now he is being so distant. I have given him every opportunity to tell me there is someone else or something but he tells me he is having the time of his life hunting and hanging out with his hunting buddies. He wants all this space now. All of this was happening prior to the kiss though. I just am so crazy

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