NotKelly Posted April 14, 2007 Share Posted April 14, 2007 I have a co-worker whose (shy?) behavior is starting to get on my nerves and I don't know what to do. She's actually not new (has been working with us for about a year) and I probably should have done something about this sooner, but... The problem is that when she needs to ask me a question, she just creeps up to right outside my work area and just stands there silently, just out of eye shot. She doesn't say anything, just stands there. And stands there. And stands there, for up to 5-10 minutes, until I notice her, look up and say something. My desk is faced away from the entryway to my work space, so it's not like I can really easily see her right away. It's just when I become aware of her lurking there that I have to say "Yes, is there a problem?" or "Yes, do you need something?" etc. I don't understand why she can't behave like a normal person and just say "Hey, NotKelly, can I ask you a question" or "Are you busy right now?" Why the LURKING? Am I really that scary? Why do *I* always have to initiate the conversation SHE wants to have? But that's actually not the most annoying thing. When she doesn't stand there like a statue, she has this silly routine where she pretend-knocks on my "door" (complete with sound effects) and then I have to say "Come in" and then she lets herself in the "door" (with sound effects). It's gotten to the point where I just want to scream "Will you just stop this ****ing nonsense and just ask me what you want already???" I mean, I am a pretty shy person. I don't like asking people for help or interrupting them when they're working...but I also don't want to waste people's valuable time. So I say "Hey, So-and-So" as I approach their cube (if they're not on the phone, that is) so I can get the conversation started and get the information I need. I don't know if she does this with other people, or why she's doing it with me, and I don't know how to make her stop it without hurting her feelings. Any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted April 15, 2007 Share Posted April 15, 2007 It's just when I become aware of her lurking there that I have to say "Yes, is there a problem?" or "Yes, do you need something?" etc.I understand your problem, though I'm wondering if your response to the lurking is making it worse. If I walked into someone's office and their first words to me were 'is there a problem' or 'do you need something', I'd consider that person a bit rude and very unapproachable. Maybe you could try being a little less cold and unapproachable, and she wouldn't feel so hesitant about speaking up when she comes to talk to you. Failing that, you could try the - ohmygod, you scared me to death, how long have you been standing there?! please don't scare me like that again! - approach. Or just be direct, and tell her that you can't see her when she hovers and she should just say hello when she arrives. As for the whole knocking charade, I don't know. I suppose you could tell her she doesn't have to knock! Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted April 15, 2007 Share Posted April 15, 2007 NJ has a good point, it may be in the way you speak to her. When my staff come to me with a problem, I throw out a friendly, "Hi, What's up?" or, "What's going on?" or, "What can I help you with?" Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 15, 2007 Share Posted April 15, 2007 Definately agreeing with the others...I'm sure she picks up on your energy and she may know she gets on your nerves. She may be intimidated by you so that makes it even harder to approach you. Next time, smile and ask her "Hey, how are you doing?" or ask about her weekend...Then ask her very friendly-like if there's anything you can do to help her. See how it goes...If she still acts the same way then sit her down and nicely talk to her to about what it is she's doing that bothers you. Or, just learn to live with it. I dunno! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Poboy Posted April 15, 2007 Share Posted April 15, 2007 hehe , this is hilarious ... i would have flipped out if this went on for long. does she check you out or something while standing there ? have u noticed any flirting or stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted April 15, 2007 Share Posted April 15, 2007 Any suggestions? Yes, face the door or put a mirror. You don't see people coming to see you, neither can they knock because you don't have a door. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
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