Zankon Posted April 15, 2007 Share Posted April 15, 2007 my ex and I broke up 4months ago... talked and all that... asked me back. I tried (honestly did) but there is no spark. I see her as an amazing friend more than anything else. I tried to convince her to do things with her life. But all she does is: - Work, - Home, eat - watch a reality show after the other (and mind you if there is one that's broadcasted durign day time, she has it recorded in her PVR) - Goes to sleep (usually 10 hours or so) - work again On week ends I might take her out to do different things like hiking, traveling to near by little town, shows, etc. but sunday night she s back at it. She's 29 and 260lb... when we were together I used to encourage her to go to the gym and keep herslef healthy. She accused me of being controlling and all the blabla... after the break up, she worked out for a couple of weeks and back to the above routine. Am I just spinning my wheels with her? Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted April 15, 2007 Share Posted April 15, 2007 what do yo u think of this person? Sounds pretty average to me. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
kepners Posted April 15, 2007 Share Posted April 15, 2007 sounds like any fat bird to me, plus i bet she lies.... god that sounds so bad! but anyway, my experince of over weight women they lie about every aspect of there lives... but yeah just be friends you cant make her do anything shes doesnt want to do mate. only she can change her self. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 15, 2007 Share Posted April 15, 2007 When she is unhappy enough with how her life is, she will change... If you two can handle being friends, great, but if you are looking for her to better herself so you can be happier in the relationship, that won't happen. This isn't about what she feels about you, it's about what she feels about herself...You know she isn't happy with her life. Work, sleep and watch tv, eat and sleep...She's closing herself off to the world, protecting herself in her safe haven (familiar and safe) so she won't have to get hurt. Has she ever gone to therapy? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zankon Posted April 16, 2007 Author Share Posted April 16, 2007 She does lie indeed about stupid stuff that are even meaningless... I always wondered why? Link to post Share on other sites
ratzskinakie Posted April 27, 2007 Share Posted April 27, 2007 The important thing is to make yourself happy, there is no reason to make your life more miserable for something that you have control over (ex. choices) and don't have control over (ex. what you love, your emotions, interests, passions, sparks, etc...). It seems like she may be unhappy, so no matter what you do she will be unhappy, she will have to fiqure that out for herself. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted April 27, 2007 Share Posted April 27, 2007 I don't think anything of her. I don't think you care at this point. Don't try to find the problem in her and help her. You will not open her eyes, you will only insult her. Accept her the way she is and respect her. She will realize herself what she lost and why if you're nice to her. She's 29 and 260lbI think here lies the main problem that ruined your marriage. She needs to find someone who will share the same interests in life... or lack thereof. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted April 27, 2007 Share Posted April 27, 2007 Am I just spinning my wheels with her? The best thing you can do for her is to hold her in your heart, be compassionate and understand that she feels unhappiness and is probably highly dissatisfied with her life. hence the lies. She is probably also feeling some effects of depression. By all means be supportive for her, and be there for her, but recognise that for her to move on and do something with her life, she has to do it herself, and she has to do it FOR herself. And you should do likewise. Blessings G. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts