is he hiding his feelings?

[tally]

[color=darkred][/color]

 

He and I dated for a couple of months and had a great relationship-and then out of the blue he broke up with me. Well, surprise surprise I ended up pregnant, and now we have a one year old daughter, but no romance at all. We are "just friends". I have told him my feelings for him off and on for the past year, but he has always said he just wants to be friends. I too, want to be friends, but always with the hope of something in the future-when we are ready. he has never said this at all and once mentioned that he had thoughts about that fantasy as well.

 

Neither one of us is dating anyone right now and we spend a lot of time together just hanging out but always with our daughter as a "family" Lately, however, we spent some time without her and on both occasions it was his idea to find a sitter for her but both times were just casual type things...shopping, etc. no romance. He also invited me to a dinner party for his work, again without her (this has never happened before) So, I am wondering if he is starting to have some different feelings for me, or just feeling more close to me as a friend.

 

Should i ask him if his feelings are changing, or should i just continue being a buddy and hanging out and wait for him to change our relationship? Should i tell him that I am confused about his feelings for me, and confused about some of the things he says and does.

 

thanks for any advice.

[Tony T]

Well, tally, I am often confused about women's feelings for me....and I think that's what keeps up the interest.

 

You only dated this guy for a couple of months and broke up. There wasn't much of a basis for establishing a strong bond during that time. However, having a child together is pretty strong. I would say that given time he certainly could have some strong feelings for you but the chances are only 50/50.

 

Continue being his good friend and, yes, let him know how you feel about him. You also need to work on him being a little more honest and open with his feelings. You need to get to know him much better.

 

From the sound of your post, it does look promising. But don't make yourself an open book to him. Be a little unpredictable and put some mystery into the equation. You've got to make this somewhat interesting for him. I mean...you've already had a child with the guy.

 

Don't let this buddy crap go on for too long, though. If he doesn't come around in a reasonable amount of time you'll want to free yourself to find someone who will love you in a very special way...and you'll want to take him to court to lock him into 17 years of child support if he doesn't volunteer to sign an out-of-court agreement.

 

You don't want to be around the guy, hoping for him to love you, and have him come to you one day and tell you he's in love with someone else. That's why you need to nail this down in the near future. Just don't put any immediate pressure on him. Use your intuition to nail down the timing in dealing with this.

 

Good luck!

[siren]

i think that you should talk to him about why you guys broke up and what you have to do for your daughter now.I can tell you right now that if you keep putting this big discussion off he will hurt you even more,try to pick a day were you and him are free,then go to a park and talk about what you two are going to due about this situation.if he isnt honest then tell him that you cant be his friend if he still dioesnt treat you like one.