Why do some guys do this ?

[Mary3]

There is this guy I finally met a few months back. After many delays and phone tags we finally got together and it was alot of fun.

 

He then says " I will call you tomorrow night " and then he doesn't call . Then three days later he will call. Says sorry about the other night and "lets get together and I will call you tomorrow night". Then he doesn't . So after a few times of not following through with things he said he was going to do , I pretty much moved forward ... He is still at it : He calls , says he wants to take me out tonite and then no call. Now I realize I don't have the patience or the faith in someone who isn't going to do what they promised....

 

So he still calls roughly once or twice a week for the last few months ( I never call back on an unreturned call ) He is the one doing the slight persuing.

 

So is he playing games ? Is he getting a kick out of it ? Should I tell him to stop calling me because he does not follow through with the things he says he's going to do ?

[Pink Amulet]

Sounds like he either has a terrible memory, or he is playing games with you and is just not totally interested.

 

I would suggest blowing him off next time.

 

Give him a taste of his own medicine next time.

 

Meanwhile, go and find yourself someone who wants to see you enough to pursue you actively.

[Mary3]

Sounds like he either has a terrible memory, or he is playing games with you and is just not totally interested.

 

I would suggest blowing him off next time.

 

Give him a taste of his own medicine next time.

 

Meanwhile, go and find yourself someone who wants to see you enough to pursue you actively.

 

Thank you Pink I deserve better of course . I wonder if he read those books about how utterly fascinated a woman will be if you ignore her alot ?? Lol.... NOT !

[Till-Andy]

He then says " I will call you tomorrow night " and then he doesn't call . Then three days later he will call. Says sorry about the other night and "lets get together and I will call you tomorrow night". Then he doesn't . ( I never call back on an unreturned call ) He is the one doing the slight persuing.

 

Maybe I am a bit oldfashioned about dating rules but it seems strange to me to call to announce a call. When I want to date someone I call and propose a time and place. If the other person is undicided I ask him oder her to call back please (same thing with emails) when things are clear.

But Mary3 sits back legs crossed an waits for a call and another call. She never calls. Why should she? Isn't it him who is pursuing? Which century are we living in? And then if that guy does not fulfill her conditions her thumb is down and she complains about him.

Mary3 could you please make clear if you are interested in a date with that special guy? That's what I cannot conclude from your statements.

[2ndIINone]

I wonder if he read those books about how utterly fascinated a woman will be if you ignore her alot ?? Lol.... NOT !

 

If he did... then it worked pretty well.

[LoveLace]

I dated a guy on and off for about a year, that would make and break promises like this constantly. We would discuss plans to do something together, and then he would never call to confirm or put it into action. And of course, when I tried to reach him, no cigar. He wanted to come in and out of my life as he pleased, as was convenient for him. This guy reminds me of that type.

 

So if I were you, I would not answer or return any calls for him, and if his calling still persists, I would finally just answer and tell him to stop, or tell him your in a relationship now, something like that. Because for one thing, if a guy continues to be that persistent after being ignored for a while, that could spell Psycho. In my experience, most men give up fairly quickly if I don't respond to their attempts. Being ignored for a while oughtta be enough of a hint that your flat out sick of him. And I"ve always found there is something wrong with people that don't get the hint!

 

My motto is "f**k me once, shame on you...f**k me twice, shame on me!"

[Mary3]

Maybe I am a bit oldfashioned about dating rules but it seems strange to me to call to announce a call. When I want to date someone I call and propose a time and place. If the other person is undicided I ask him oder her to call back please (same thing with emails) when things are clear.

But Mary3 sits back legs crossed an waits for a call and another call. She never calls. Why should she? Isn't it him who is pursuing? Which century are we living in? And then if that guy does not fulfill her conditions her thumb is down and she complains about him.

Mary3 could you please make clear if you are interested in a date with that special guy? That's what I cannot conclude from your statements.

 

Let me see if I can explain this : We went out for the evening and he treated me very well.

 

It was a great time and we got along quite well.

 

He said he would like to see me again.

 

About a week later he called and said he would like to go out the next night and would call . He did not call.

 

He called about 4 days later and said he was out doing something ( I won't say what it was in case he reads these boards , lol, which I doubt ). He said he wanted to see me again and would call the following night. He did not call.

 

NOW I saw a pattern developing and thought : "Well this guy says things and does not follow through so protect yourself and pull back". I did .

 

He then called about 4 days later and once again said he would like to see me and I wondered if he really was going to follow through.... He did not follow through and now I removed him as a possible love interest and put him in the category of unreliable.

 

He did continue to call and out of being polite I would return his calls but knew deep in my heart this man ( for whatever reason ) could not be dependable to do what he says.

 

Once again he has an activity which consumes his time and I feel its at the expense of missing out on quality time with others. And also he might not want a girlfriend and keeps his distance. Spot on with the poster who says He wants things at his conveinace.

So he called again ( always very sweet and seeming to want to see me ) and his call you tomorrow turned into 6 days later.

 

Please do not mistake me as someone sitting by the phone , lol. I keep very busy and do date others and go out with my girlfriends . Please know I will know when I have found someone who DOES take the time to call when he says , wants to spend real time with me, until then every guy is a potential for something that could lead to something further but they need to prove that to me by making the time for me

 

You need to know that I will return a call only once. I don't keep calling

[Mary3]

If he did... then it worked pretty well.

 

Actually I don't find it fascinating . Its just rude and that person won't get a chance at a special relationship with me . For all the men who play that game there are men out there that do want something special but they are harder to find , lol

[Mary3]

I dated a guy on and off for about a year, that would make and break promises like this constantly. We would discuss plans to do something together, and then he would never call to confirm or put it into action. And of course, when I tried to reach him, no cigar. He wanted to come in and out of my life as he pleased, as was convenient for him. This guy reminds me of that type.

 

So if I were you, I would not answer or return any calls for him, and if his calling still persists, I would finally just answer and tell him to stop, or tell him your in a relationship now, something like that. Because for one thing, if a guy continues to be that persistent after being ignored for a while, that could spell Psycho. In my experience, most men give up fairly quickly if I don't respond to their attempts. Being ignored for a while oughtta be enough of a hint that your flat out sick of him. And I"ve always found there is something wrong with people that don't get the hint!

 

My motto is "f**k me once, shame on you...f**k me twice, shame on me!"

 

Yes I have met my share of psychos thats for sure , lol. One guy texted me 66 times on my cell and my cell phone company charged me for ALL of them whether I read them or not , I had to cancel my text service . I might restore it soon though

He emailed me yesterday and I said it was nice he's back in town...blah blah but I no longer look at him as a real potential...I wonder if he thinks thats how he keeps girls attentions ?

[Till-Andy]

Mary3 I apologize for the suspicion that you

sits back legs crossed an waits for a call and another call. She never calls.

And thank you for the additional information that cleared it all up.

That sort of behaviour should not be supported.

My personal opinion is that this is a decline of positive male virtues: dependability, decisiveness, reliability, spirit.

My guide of masculinity is David Deidas book "The Way of the Superior Man". Maybe you can give that guy a hint.

[Mary3]

Mary3 I apologize for the suspicion that you

 

And thank you for the additional information that cleared it all up.

That sort of behaviour should not be supported.

My personal opinion is that this is a decline of positive male virtues: dependability, decisiveness, reliability, spirit.

My guide of masculinity is David Deidas book "The Way of the Superior Man". Maybe you can give that guy a hint.

 

Thanks Andy ! I should not have to give hints to a man who knows NOT how to treat a woman