10 Months Later and I'm Still a Trainwreck

[freckles73]

I still walk around like a zombie, with a heavy pain in my heart and missing him with every fiber of my being. There isn't a day or an hour, and sometimes a minute, that goes by that I am not thinking about him. With everything that I am dealing with in my life right now I should have plenty of reasons to be distracted, but I'm not. Nothing, and I mean nothing provides distraction or relief. And just when I think I might be receptive to the flirtations of another man, the only thing I can think is, "Yeah, but you're not him." I can't imagine going on another year like this...feeling like this. I want the pain to end, but I feel powerless to stop it. Is anyone else feeling like this every day?

[loveinlife]

Hi freckles73, i've been through what you have. I know its painful and that there seems to be no end to it until that person calls, text, or see you. All it feels like is that you want them and you felt happy when you were with them. I understand. At that moment in time when you were with your mate, you had lots of feelings for him, may i say love if that is how you felt. I felt that way, love, and i still believe that my ex could bring those feelings that i once had.

 

From my discovery, nothing is forever. feelings last but they are temporary. Try to see the positiveness out of this. What did you learn? did you learn how to love, understand what is pain, and did you find out a little more about yourself. I want to listen to you if you want to talk about it. You might feel better to let it out.

[upsetnhurt]

Freckles,

 

There is no time limit on your recovery......so please don't think you are unlike most other people in needing time to heal your broken heart. I am unsure as to why you and your ex broke up, yet I believe regardless you are still not focusing your thoughts on the true questions you must face. You are still pining over the good times and forgetting the reasons for the breakup. Sit back and think about what qualities you want in a person and in a relationship and I am sure you will see that you did not have them at all times in the past (thus the breakup). Set your mind straight and realize life is way too short to SETTLE for anything less that you desire.

[upsetnhurt]

Freckles,

 

I tried going back to some of your other posts and ironically I could not find out why you guys broke up outside of his being your neighbor and that he left twice, with the last time being quite cruel. Have you never explained on here what caused the breakup or am I missing it? Regardless.....when you start listing the things you want out of someone and a relationship, definitely consider whether you want someone who has not only left you once but twice! He had two chances at making you happy and he failed considerably. Is that what you want for a future? Never knowing when the next time will be for him to get up and leave? You should consider yourself lucky here as there are tons of men who would die to value you the way you should be. May I ask what exactly attracts you to your ex now and why is it that you still pine over him? I am starting to think it has more to do with the fact that you have still not met anyone new and thus your self esteem is still low. It has nothing to do with him I bet. Give it time and the joy will come.

[loveratud]

If there were strong feelings in the relationship, I'd say there's nothing wrong with it at all. I'm more than 3 months post break up and I can't make it through a probability formula without thinking of her. I can't make it through a single LSAT question without thinking of her. Keep in mind she has no connection whatsoever to those activities, my point is, I can't get her out of my mind.

 

Even when I'm having fun, I always think it'd be that much better with her there.

 

I don't think it'll ever stop hurting. I do know that I've gotten much better at functioning while hurting though.

[Trialbyfire]

It's a conscious effort to continue letting go. For some people, it's in increments of seconds. For others, it's the whole relationship.

 

If you have to, get yourself a litany. Each time he comes to mind, say to yourself, "let him go".

[Poboy]

some people just dont get over their ex for a long period of time . you can seek professional help in getting over this ... no point dragging along the pain and misery if you find it imposibble to do it on your own and quick.