strip clubs, lying, private dances. ok or no?

[rainfall]

I do not work in fast food. I have no idea what you do. But I could say based on beliefs that Fast food is bad for you and you are helping to kill millions of people. I could say that fast food places are disgusting and any one who indulges is a disgusting pig that doesnt care about thier body and health and you are just as bad for contributing.

 

I could call you filthy. I could say people spit in the burgers and thier hair falls off into the food and you are just as bad and gross because you work in the same field.

 

Would I be right? Since I do not work in a fast food place, do I have a right to say what goes on in there? I do not eat fast food either.

 

See you have said you have been in ONE sc a long time ago. And because some strippers grind customers, that means they all do. You are telling me that I do that, even though I have said I didnt.

 

You saw ONE lap dance and now you are an expert on SC and strippers.

 

Go spit in a burger. I mean, since some people are gross enough to do that that must mean you do it to, since you work there.

 

 

The majority of people that eat fast food are disgusting and are unhealthy. Most people who eat their don't care about their bodies. Alot of the workers their have done stuff to people's food that they don't like.

I do not eat fast food. Its way to greasy and I prefer to eat low fat foods. (btw when I get of work I am kinda filthy because I have been in a hot kitchen for the past few hours.)

 

 

So if you don't dry hump people what exactly do you do when you give a lap dance? I really am kinda curious how you give a lap dance where you aren't on the lap? Does your club just not have lap dances? (I am actually curious about this not trying to be rude.)

 

My main problem I have is you have been saying it is ok and not cheating for my man to go to one of those places. Which I do not now or will I ever feel its ok for him to have that kind of sexual experiance (lap dance and/or table dance) with another women besides me. Theres no reason he needs some chick bending over naked in front of him if he is happy and committed to me.

[annieo]

It's not a need, but a want. I can understand why a person in a happy, commited relationship wants to have a different person get naked and dance in front of them. Variety. Same reason I have sexual fantasies about other men, that I actually know. In fact, what I do is potentially more dangerous (because it could actually happen) than what my husband did. But what he did was icky to me BECAUSE of it's impersonality. Go figure!

And just because I can understand what he did, it does not help me to accept the lying (I mean, I know why he lied, but I just thought that he would overcome his desire to avoid a scene and be straight with me).

[halfarock]

Final time, stripping is not a skill..

Actually it is. If you watch enough strippers it becomes evident that some are talented, skilled. Others just take off their clothes and just kindof stand there. The ones wiht more skills, that is body control, composure and whatnot, the more money they tend to make.

 

My old girlfriend used to tell me that if she just took her clothes off, the guys would just stare at her holes, throw up a dollar and leave. But she put on a show, she was personable, she moved with a great deal of style and grace. It brought customers back.

 

Last I hear she was working as a choregrahper using skills she developed as a stripper.

[halfarock]

I thought men went and watched women strip--I wasn't aware of the lap dance as being something most do.

I'll bet most don't unless what you are calling a strip club is actally one of those lingerie modeling places. The girls call them jack shacks.

[halfarock]

Last night, Saturday night, because of this thread, because I haven’t been for awhile, and with the full knowledge and approval of my girlfriend, I went to a strip club.

 

First off, these lap dances. None of the strippers I talked to (which was all 4 that were working plus another that had just come in to pick up something) admitted to doing lap dances, though they did private dances where for $20 they would go to the private dance area and do a private dance which was essentially the same as what they did on stage but just for a single person up close. No touching. In the 4 hours or so that I spent there, only once did I see a stripper and customer go to the private dance area. The private dance area was really just a corner and anyone could look over there and see what was going on.

 

At one point, one of the strippers got upset because several of the men sitting at the stage where just talking amongst themselves, ignoring her and not tipping. Eventually the bouncer came over and got them to move.

 

People came and people went, in waves. A few times during the night, it was standing room only, other times there were plenty of seats around. At times it seemed about a third or more of the customers were women – some as half a couple, some with a group of other women, others in a group of men and women. At least half of the people that came in didn’t seem to pay any attention to the strippers at all, though I’m sure most were checking them out, out of the corner of their eye.

 

Of those that spent all their time sitting at the stage, most sat there emotionless, just kind of blankly staring at the strippers. As I watched, very few made any real eye contact with the strippers. I couldn’t tell if they were enjoying themselves or not.

 

Being that I am a habitual flirt, I did spend a considerable amount of time flirting with the strippers, and the bartender. There was nothing sexual about it; just innocent fun. There was a woman sitting at the bar while her male companions went to watch a stripper. I flirted with her a bit too. She told me that she didn’t see what the big deal about strip clubs was. She found them to be rather boring.

 

There was another woman that I talked to. She was there with her husband and a woman that she worked with. She was really into watching strippers, claimed that she had to drag her husband along as he wasn’t nearly as excited about it as she was.

 

All of the strippers claimed to be atheist or at least agnostic, I didn’t find one customer that wasn’t a Christian or spiritual (whatever that is). I only asked people this because it was something that I discovered when I used to have a girlfriend who was a stripper.

 

As I left, I exchanged email addresses with one of the strippers, hugged her and one of the others. The bouncer wished me a good night.

 

As I walked away, down the street a ways, at a bar, a non strip club bar, the police were parked outside, one of them questioning people milling about. A few more blocks later and a car was stopped at a slight angle in the street. People were yelling at each other. I stopped to see what was happening. Shortly the police arrived. They started grabbing people, throwing them around.

 

I guess strip clubs aren’t the worse place someone can be.

[RIDINGTHEBULLS1]

gotta love how everyone continues to take out their anger and say a bunch of crap to ANKA as if she is your adversary. Give me a break. Dump the loser husbands and stop blaming the STRIPPERS for pete sake! LMFAO! Women let the bfs and hubbies get away with murder and then wonder why they continue to be treated as doormats. It's the easiest for the MALE to get you ripping the other woman apart because it saves him a lot of crap. On the other hand, you women are so judgmental and vile, it's no surprise the men have to run away from home!

[bish]

Sorry for assuming you were female, Bish. My mistake. You sound like a really interesting, decent, head screwed on right sort of person. A little judgemental, perhaps, but we all have a right to our opinions. I find it very intriguing that you are so, well, sensitive to how women might feel in this situation. Thanks.

 

No problem. And I'm not trying to sound like a savior for women being a man.

I have the same feelings as a woman would in certain situations.

If my SO doesn't care about my feelings and wants to go off and do things she knows I am uncomfortable with, then she will have lost a good man because of her petty little gratification excursions.

I figure, if she wants to go see another guy take his clothes off...then she can have them. I'll find a woman that considers my feelings.

 

 

Rainfall, why are you so confrontational? Let's face it, if men weren't willing to go to SCs and pay for lap/table dances, they wouldn't happen. It's not the stripper's "fault".

 

I think you are getting angry at the wrong person

 

Well thats the way it started out in this thread. But Anka, being in the business, came in and defended the men that do this. And then it snowballed from there.

 

So she is mad at the right person. But if a stripper then comes in and rubs her nose in shi!t....you bet she is going to get confrontational.

 

That would be like a woman complaining that her H is cheating on her, then some OW comes in and defends her H.

[bish]

The majority of people that eat fast food are disgusting and are unhealthy. Most people who eat their don't care about their bodies.

 

Well I know this is off topic, but the problem with fast food is the people who eat it every day.

 

I am your typical grilled skinless chicken breast guy who loves broccoli and all the greens. I work out every day and can wash my clothes on my abdomen.

 

But I like Micky D's now and then. I'll eat it say once on the weekend, or once a week or two, I'll have a cheese pizza.

 

It won't kill ya now and then, just can't eat it every day.

[bish]

Last night, Saturday night, because of this thread, because I haven’t been for awhile, and with the full knowledge and approval of my girlfriend, I went to a strip club.

 

Bingo. There is the big difference. You got the approval of your gf. For whatever reason, she didn't care.

 

But other people care whether or not their significant other is getting off by other people stripping. And anyone that loves their SO, who knows they are hurt by those actions, yet goes to the SC anyway, need to be dumped. Cuz ultimately, if they go anyway knowing it hurts the SO, they don't give a shi!t about them anyway.

[Anka]

I guess what offends me is the comparison to cheating. The guys goes to a club and gets a dance.

 

He isnt screwing strange and gaslighting his wife/GF.

 

What if I told my fiance that I dont want him to eat fast food because I find it disgusting and no man of mine is going to eat such crap. I cook perfectly good food at home so he shouldnt need to eat anything else?

 

So if one day his friends take him to lunch at MD or BK, I should kick him to the curb for not respecting my feelings?

[Anka]

I personally find the guys that are in there getting off on it creepy. Most guys just want to hang out, have some drinks and maybe get a dance.

 

Its adult ENTERTIANMENT. They want to be entertianed.

[bish]

I guess what offends me is the comparison to cheating. The guys goes to a club and gets a dance.

 

He isnt screwing strange and gaslighting his wife/GF.

 

What if I told my fiance that I dont want him to eat fast food because I find it disgusting and no man of mine is going to eat such crap. I cook perfectly good food at home so he shouldnt need to eat anything else?

 

So if one day his friends take him to lunch at MD or BK, I should kick him to the curb for not respecting my feelings?

 

No, because you are talking apples and oranges. Feelings about preferences on food and preferences as to which woman's tits on a given night a man would like to see is two completely different things.

 

Making the comparison to food preferences does not work.

[Anka]

Well, I see it as useing your insecurities as a way of controlling your partner.

 

This is not for Ann becuase her beef was with the lying. She is right to be upset about his lie.

 

But to tell a man you cliam to love and trust where he can and cant go is controlling.

 

Why not just show the trust you claim to have. Unless a man is going all the time(which is a another case) I dont see the problem.

 

It is NOT cheating to happen into a sc with a guy friend. Like I said, I have been through cheating. It is sort of insulting to call a table dance cheating.

[Anka]

BTW Bish, your whole point was that he isnt respecting her feelings and is an ass for that.

 

I can say it hurts my feelings when he eats out and not at home. If he eats out, he is then disrespecting my feelings and is an ass. At least by your logic.

 

Funny how now it isnt so black and white when you dont agree with the props in questions.

[halfarock]

Bingo. There is the big difference. You got the approval of your gf. For whatever reason, she didn't care.

That’s not what it is. I didn’t ask for her approval and I didn’t need it. It’s more like I said, “hey I’m going to a strip club” and she said, “okay, see ya later.” I think that we are a little more grown up in our relationship than some people. We’re independent people, it’s our time together that matters, not what we are doing when we are apart.

 

This whole idea that going to a strip club somehow disrespects one’s significant other is, in my opinion, ignorant, immature insecurities. It is a lot like in some other threads where people are hurt and jealous because their SO talks to people of the opposite sex. If you feel the need to control another’s behavior and they prove to not be quite so controllable then the problem is yours, not theirs.

 

I don’t have to lie to my girlfriend because she’s never a bitch to me. I had one girlfriend who didn’t like one of my brothers and complained bitterly whenever I went to visit him. Consequently I lied to her whenever I went to see my brother. I wasn’t disrespecting her; she was just being a bitch, a controlling bitch. Needless to say, I dumped her before too long.

[bish]

Well, I see it as useing your insecurities as a way of controlling your partner.

 

This is not for Ann becuase her beef was with the lying. She is right to be upset about his lie.

 

But to tell a man you cliam to love and trust where he can and cant go is controlling.

 

Thats not the perspective I see it from. Its not about telling them what they can or can't do.

 

Its about if the man really cares about her feelings, he wouldn't go. If he could give a shi!t, then he'll go.

But that is if she is hurt by his actions. If she isn't and doesn't care, then its up to them.

[bish]

That’s not what it is. I didn’t ask for her approval and I didn’t need it.

 

But if she expressed to you how it hurts her, you'd tell her tough shi!t?

[rainfall]

Well I know this is off topic, but the problem with fast food is the people who eat it every day.

 

I am your typical grilled skinless chicken breast guy who loves broccoli and all the greens. I work out every day and can wash my clothes on my abdomen.

 

But I like Micky D's now and then. I'll eat it say once on the weekend, or once a week or two, I'll have a cheese pizza.

 

It won't kill ya now and then, just can't eat it every day.

 

This is of topic as well. I guess I am mostly thinking of the people who come in to where I work every single day. Some of them are so big they kinda have a hard time fitting through the door. I wasn't really thinking of the people who eat it on occasion.

[rainfall]

I guess what offends me is the comparison to cheating. The guys goes to a club and gets a dance.

 

He isnt screwing strange and gaslighting his wife/GF.

 

What if I told my fiance that I dont want him to eat fast food because I find it disgusting and no man of mine is going to eat such crap. I cook perfectly good food at home so he shouldnt need to eat anything else?

 

So if one day his friends take him to lunch at MD or BK, I should kick him to the curb for not respecting my feelings?

 

Those two things don't compare in anyway.

My main problem is you keep saying it NOT cheating when it IS. If he pays another women money to grind him or to bend over and let him see everything up close then he has cheated on me and we will no longer be together.

 

Just because I trust my man doesn't mean he should be able to do anything and everything he wants. If seeing naked women besides me means more to him then our relationship he know where the door is. He just knows he will not be welcome to come back home.

[Anka]

IM sorry rainfall but you are talking a woman whose ex husband had unprotected sex with a woman at his work and then came home and had unprotected with me while I was pregnant without even showering in between.

 

He then played games with me and had me so stressed that I ended up in the hosiptal with pre term labor.

 

So Im sorry that you saying a trip to sc and a table dance is cheating makes me want to puke, or laugh.

 

Men look at woman no matter how much there love thier partner. If a man is gonna cheat, he is gonna cheat and it doesnt matter if he is in a sc or in church. Acting like the boob nazi isnt going to change the outcome.

 

And looking is NOT cheating. Gezzz, Rianfall, I really hope you never get cheated on:(

[halfarock]

But if she expressed to you how it hurts her, you'd tell her tough shi!t?

That's the thing, she wouldn't. Throughout you've been arguing as if all women have the same attitude as rainfall. They don't.

 

That's the advantage of being a good looking, confident, sociable guy. You get to find a woman who is compatible rather than just getting what you can get.

 

When I'm out doing whatever I do, it doesn't hurt her feelings. I'm very open about what I do and she likes me for who I am and doesn't try to change me.

[Topper]

I just love these little strip club debates. I can honestly say that the last place on earth a guy is likely to meet a woman and have an affair is a strip club. Some of the better places to find someone for a romantic affair would be a up scale bar frequented by the after work crowd. Chruch, Yes there is a lot of sinning going on behind closed doors.

the number one place is work. More affairs start in the office then anyplace else.

[rainfall]

IM sorry rainfall but you are talking a woman whose ex husband had unprotected sex with a woman at his work and then came home and had unprotected with me while I was pregnant without even showering in between.

 

He then played games with me and had me so stressed that I ended up in the hosiptal with pre term labor.

 

So Im sorry that you saying a trip to sc and a table dance is cheating makes me want to puke, or laugh.

 

Men look at woman no matter how much there love thier partner. If a man is gonna cheat, he is gonna cheat and it doesnt matter if he is in a sc or in church. Acting like the boob nazi isnt going to change the outcome.

 

And looking is NOT cheating. Gezzz, Rianfall, I really hope you never get cheated on:(

 

I am sorry that you got cheated on I do not wish that on anyone. However I should not have to accept my man having another NAKED women touch him besides me. No matter what circumstances it is it is cheating.

Besides from what I have heard most table dances are more then just looking. I might be wrong with that but from guys I have know who have gone there they have said there is always touching that goes on during that.

[rainfall]

That's the thing, she wouldn't. Throughout you've been arguing as if all women have the same attitude as rainfall. They don't.

 

That's the advantage of being a good looking, confident, sociable guy. You get to find a woman who is compatible rather than just getting what you can get.

 

When I'm out doing whatever I do, it doesn't hurt her feelings. I'm very open about what I do and she likes me for who I am and doesn't try to change me.

 

Hey my man is hot and he could get a different women if he wanted. However he is happy with me and the fact that I find strip clubs to be a deal breaker. I keep him satisfied enough where he doesn't need to go to places like that.

[Woggle]

If my wife expressed to me how much it hurt her I would tell her tough *****. She knew what I was like before we married and I never tried to hide it from her so she shouldn't try to change me right now. I mostly use strip clubs as a way of cheering up men going through a divorce or going through marital problems. It helps the testosterone flow to the brain faster.