strip clubs, lying, private dances. ok or no?

[Anka]

Well Bish and Rainfall, you may not consider it an art but since there are dancers who recieve awards for "erotic art" and there are compitions, feature schools and all kinds of shows and pageants AND dance and sex being forms of human expression it is, by the definition, and ART. You may not approve but it is.

 

And since I do still dance and do have a degree. No waste here, I make more money then a 9 to 5 worker and spend more time with my family. I also have more time to work on my second degree.

 

But sadly your opinion is that all strippers are skilless whores, so be it. I think the problem is more an insecurity on your part.

 

Honestly, even if I wasnt a stripper, the thought of someone saying getting a lap dance is cheating is a little out there. The stripper doesnt even like the customer. They dont know eachother and there is no sex, no connection.

 

MY ex cheated on me while I was pregnant. Get this, he actually had SEX with woman whom he worked with. Then had SEX with me less then 24 hours later. There are woman whose husbands are having relationships with other woman and have been for years. THAT is cheating. Lucky you that you feel your BF getting a lap dance is compareable to having your entire life torn to shreds.

 

Maybe I just pick my battles. After my ex and my divorce I just dont feel that my fiance getting a dance at a strip club is a big deal. He is not having sex or any sort of EA. Unless him going is a chronic thing I really think you over reacting.

 

But like I said, the lying imo is the problem here.

[bish]

Well Bish and Rainfall, you may not consider it an art but since there are dancers who recieve awards for "erotic art" and there are compitions, feature schools and all kinds of shows and pageants AND dance and sex being forms of human expression it is, by the definition, and ART. You may not approve but it is.

 

The porn inudstry has their own version of the Oscars and give out awards too. So whats your point?

 

But sadly your opinion is that all strippers are skilless whores, so be it. I think the problem is more an insecurity on your part.

 

Why? I am not a woman. Why would I really care? I don't go strip clubs.

 

Honestly, even if I wasnt a stripper, the thought of someone saying getting a lap dance is cheating is a little out there.

 

If a wife doesn't want a husband, or a gf doesn't want a bf going to a strip club, and he goes anyway, then he doesn't give a rats ass about anyone but himself. It may be cheating to the woman, but to me, as a man, it is major disrespect to shi!t all over a woman's feelings on the matter and go get tits in his face regardless how hurt his SO's feeligns are.

 

Maybe I just pick my battles. After my ex and my divorce I just dont feel that my fiance getting a dance at a strip club is a big deal.

 

Of course not, you'd be a hypocrite since you give them.

 

But like I said, the lying imo is the problem here.

 

That and the total disregard for her feelings. No real man would take his woman's feelings and act as if they didn't matter.

[rainfall]

But sadly your opinion is that all strippers are skilless whores, so be it. I think the problem is more an insecurity on your part.

 

Honestly, even if I wasnt a stripper, the thought of someone saying getting a lap dance is cheating is a little out there. The stripper doesnt even like the customer. They dont know eachother and there is no sex, no connection.

 

MY ex cheated on me while I was pregnant. Get this, he actually had SEX with woman whom he worked with. Then had SEX with me less then 24 hours later. There are woman whose husbands are having relationships with other woman and have been for years. THAT is cheating. Lucky you that you feel your BF getting a lap dance is compareable to having your entire life torn to shreds.

 

Maybe I just pick my battles. After my ex and my divorce I just dont feel that my fiance getting a dance at a strip club is a big deal. He is not having sex or any sort of EA. Unless him going is a chronic thing I really think you over reacting.

 

But like I said, the lying imo is the problem here.

 

Taking your clothes off and grinding random men's lap is not a skill or an art. I'm sure anyone who wanted to could learn to do that in maybe one hour.

 

Please tell me how is a lap dance NOT cheating. The guy has another women besides his SO naked on top of him. It doesn't matter if the stripper likes the guy or not. The fact is the guy obviously likes her enough to pay her money to grind away on him.

 

I pick my battles as well and him having any form of contact with a naked women besides me is something that is in no way allowed in my relationship.

[bish]

Taking your clothes off and grinding random men's lap is not a skill or an art. I'm sure anyone who wanted to could learn to do that in maybe one hour.

 

Maybe she solves a rubik's cube while giving a lapdance.

[Miss Jane]

Well Bish and Rainfall, you may not consider it an art but since there are dancers who recieve awards for "erotic art" and there are compitions, feature schools and all kinds of shows and pageants AND dance and sex being forms of human expression it is, by the definition, and ART. You may not approve but it is.

 

And since I do still dance and do have a degree. No waste here, I make more money then a 9 to 5 worker and spend more time with my family. I also have more time to work on my second degree.

 

But sadly your opinion is that all strippers are skilless whores, so be it. I think the problem is more an insecurity on your part.

 

Honestly, even if I wasnt a stripper, the thought of someone saying getting a lap dance is cheating is a little out there. The stripper doesnt even like the customer. They dont know eachother and there is no sex, no connection.

 

MY ex cheated on me while I was pregnant. Get this, he actually had SEX with woman whom he worked with. Then had SEX with me less then 24 hours later. There are woman whose husbands are having relationships with other woman and have been for years. THAT is cheating. Lucky you that you feel your BF getting a lap dance is compareable to having your entire life torn to shreds.

 

Maybe I just pick my battles. After my ex and my divorce I just dont feel that my fiance getting a dance at a strip club is a big deal. He is not having sex or any sort of EA. Unless him going is a chronic thing I really think you over reacting.

 

But like I said, the lying imo is the problem here.

 

No matter the explanation, I don't think most wives or girlfriends are "happy" about their man going to strip clubs, getting lap dances, and whatever else goes on in various clubs. Many don't seem to know about their guy going because the guys don't tell. My husband polled his co-workers and the basic response was that the guy that accidentally "slipped" and told me about the lap dance should be shot. And, of course, they don't tell their wives. Apparently, as previous posts have stated, the strip clubs are especially big with businessmen. If the guys have some sort of "honor" code amongst themselves not to "tell"--isn't that the same as lying? It certainly is deception. These activities are going on behind their wife or gf's back. What kind of relationship is that?

 

And to me, my husband getting a private lap dance is for some sort of selfish sexual gratification/fantasy--otherwise, what is the point of this entertainment. He solicited a sex act from a woman/girl, other than his wife. I think that's pretty plain and simple. You're naked and seductively have your breasts and crotch in some other women's guy's face--how is this not "cheating"?

[bish]

And to me, my husband getting a private lap dance is for some sort of selfish sexual gratification/fantasy--otherwise, what is the point of this entertainment. He solicited a sex act from a woman/girl, other than his wife. I think that's pretty plain and simple. You're naked and seductively have your breasts and crotch in some other women's guy's face--how is this not "cheating"?

 

EXACTLY...well said.

[Anka]

Its NOT cheating.

 

And its VERY easy to control your SO with your insecuritys by saying "respect how I feel or else"

 

Lying is wrong. THAT is the problem. NOT the club. THE LYING.

 

Many people are fine with SO going to a SC once in a while. I work in one, I dont care if my BF goes with friends.

 

And there is a lot more to being a stripper than just "dry humping". You do go on a stage and perform. Im not going to continue in this silly little arguement about stripping.

 

Sorry but as a someone who was cheated on and gaslighted while pregnant I wish my biggest problem was a few table dances.

 

Point being, you should trust your man whether he is at church or at sc club with his friends. If you dont, find another guy or do some work on yourself so you find the peace of mind you need. Men are going to look at woman, nothing will change that and its normal. It doent mean he loves you less or is a cheater.

[Anka]

BTW, I have NEVER put my crocth in a customers face.

 

I do have a fiance that understands the dynamics. He also is secure and trusts me.

[rainfall]

Its NOT cheating.

 

And its VERY easy to control your SO with your insecuritys by saying "respect how I feel or else"

 

Lying is wrong. THAT is the problem. NOT the club. THE LYING.

 

Many people are fine with SO going to a SC once in a while. I work in one, I dont care if my BF goes with friends.

 

And there is a lot more to being a stripper than just "dry humping". You do go on a stage and perform. Im not going to continue in this silly little arguement about stripping.

 

Sorry but as a someone who was cheated on and gaslighted while pregnant I wish my biggest problem was a few table dances.

 

Point being, you should trust your man whether he is at church or at sc club with his friends. If you dont, find another guy or do some work on yourself so you find the peace of mind you need. Men are going to look at woman, nothing will change that and its normal. It doent mean he loves you less or is a cheater.

 

No matter what I will never let I man I love go to a strip club. Trust has NOTHING to do with it. I deserve better then him paying some chick money to dry hump him. Just because you don't find it cheating (which you really can't since that would mean you cheat on your SO every day) doesn't mean other people don't find it cheating.

If there is going to be a naked chick on top of my man it better be me.

[annieo]

Wow, what a lot of opinions! First off thanks for the apology anka - I do not feel the same way as rainfall and bish. I do not see things in black and white. Life is way more complicated than that. I do not judge you or your choice in job in the least.

I do not have negative preconceptions about strippers, either. I am not into woman-bashing, which is what is going on in some of your comments. I completely understand that these are women who have made a reasonably lucrative career choice, a legal one, and it is fine with me. Hell, I had a lap dance. From my times in clubs as a patron, I have noticed that a lot of the girls seemed a little ****ed up, but that's no surprise. It must be hell sometimes. But so are a lot of jobs. Teaching, for example.

Yeah, I'm still a little pissed off at my husband. The shock has worn off but the marathon lying session kind of threw me for a loop. I don't think he's a monster, but I do think he (and probably a lot of other men) should have a think about how their actions affect other people, especially people close to them. I don't want perfection, I don't want some emasculated eunuch slave boy (well, maybe on special Saturday nights), I would be horrified to be with someone who wanted to be ordered around. I want someone who is their own person, flaws and all. But I also want the truth, more or less. And I think I am getting it now (much discussion, soul searching and drama later). At least I hope I am.

Once again, everyone lay off anka. She sound like a righteous babe to me.

[confused2007]

I am a man, and I agree with most posts here that going to a strip club = cheating. However, every relationship is unique consisting of different boundaries. That's just MY opinion....

 

I think it's human nature to be attracted toward different women / men but acting on it is immoral. I consider going to Strip club is acting on those feelings/thoughts/fantasies whether anything physical is involved or not. It takes self control to deter inappropriate actions. Just my logic.....

 

To futher, I also believe a SC falls in the same category as a casino. It preys on the weak. The ones whom lack self control.

 

It's very wrong on many levels for a woman to flash her naked body around to complete strangers. It takes dignity and self respect to to take the moral high ground.

 

As far as a strip dance being a form of art (?)....Um...huh? An expression/form of art is a superior skill and an act of creativity. I'm not sure if you're telling this to make yourself feel better or if your sleezy druglord manager has brainwashed you. In either case, you should def know better, especially if you've earned a degree.

 

Seriously Anka, you've proven yourself to be intellectual. Do the right thing and contribute something positive to society with your education.

[new_stella]

Anka, if you don’t mind me asking:

 

I understand you have a degree but choose to work as a stripper. Fair enough!

But what’s the point of studding for another degree then?

Do you have plans to change your occupation and, if yes, why?

[Anka]

I am a man, and I agree with most posts here that going to a strip club = cheating. However, every relationship is unique consisting of different boundaries. That's just MY opinion....

 

I think it's human nature to be attracted toward different women / men but acting on it is immoral. I consider going to Strip club is acting on those feelings/thoughts/fantasies whether anything physical is involved or not. It takes self control to deter inappropriate actions. Just my logic.....

 

To futher, I also believe a SC falls in the same category as a casino. It preys on the weak. The ones whom lack self control.

 

It's very wrong on many levels for a woman to flash her naked body around to complete strangers. It takes dignity and self respect to to take the moral high ground.

 

As far as a strip dance being a form of art (?)....Um...huh? An expression/form of art is a superior skill and an act of creativity. I'm not sure if you're telling this to make yourself feel better or if your sleezy druglord manager has brainwashed you. In either case, you should def know better, especially if you've earned a degree.

 

Seriously Anka, you've proven yourself to be intellectual. Do the right thing and contribute something positive to society with your education.

 

Wow. Art is not a 'superior' skill. It is human expression. Plus, my manager runs a business, and he could very well run it properly if he were a drug lord. In fact, not one of the mangers is on drugs as they have thier bosses to deal with. Drugs are not allowed in the club or in the managers or any employee. Not all SC are sleazy and not all SC employees are on drugs.

 

And good for you for taking the moral high ground. I for one am finding a tad humorous that people that claim they have not even been in a SC are telling me that my job is to dry hump and stripping is in no way an art.

 

Female body is beatiful and so is dance.

 

Who asked me why Im getting another degree? To answer that question, Im doing that because I can afford to and life is to short to stay in one profession. I enjoy learning and variety. Plus, its Interior Design and I have always been into that. I have stripping been for years and do not wish to do it forever(not because Im ashamed of it, simple becuase its physically demanding and Im not going to stay young forever)

 

Im still put off by those of you who think its cheating though. If you feel that way about SC I hope like hell your SO's never have an affiar because I really dont think you would get over it. Ever.

[bish]

Wow. Art is not a 'superior' skill. It is human expression.

 

Everyone has human expression. Simply putting on a "Vote for Pedro" shirt would be a form of expression then. Ya....thats art alright *rolling eyes*

 

By your logic, someone taking a dump in public is an art form.

 

Im still put off by those of you who think its cheating though. If you feel that way about SC I hope like hell your SO's never have an affiar .

 

Well, by wishing that kind of pain on someone shows your true colors.

 

Like I said, I don't think its cheating, but it IS disrespectful to a SO especially if the SO has their feelings hurt by it. Any man or woman that would have so much disregard as to not care about their SO's feelings and go off to gratify themselves anyway do not deserve to be in a committed relationship.

 

But thanks for telling someone that you hope they get cheated on.

[Anka]

Um Bish?

 

You are beng VERY judgemental.

 

Here is a tip. Before you get all certian about my "true colors", try READING what I wrote.

 

I said clearly that "I hope your So's NEVER(get that? N E V E R) have an affiar.

 

I think the only one showing bitterness here is you.

 

Funny, Im the stripper with no skills, and yet you have no reading comp.

[bish]

Um Bish?

 

You are beng VERY judgemental.

 

Oh boo hoo...everyone judges. Anyone who says they don't are liars.

 

Here is a tip. Before you get all certian about my "true colors", try READING what I wrote.

 

I said clearly that "I hope your So's NEVER(get that? N E V E R) have an affiar.

 

Yes, you are correct, I misread it. For THAT, I apologize.

 

I think the only one showing bitterness here is you.

 

Funny, I didn't accuse anyone of being bitter. And there are people that have a right to be bitter on here.

 

Funny, Im the stripper with no skills, and yet you have no reading comp.

 

Nice try pumpkin. My reading skills are just fine. I just didn't see the "never" part.

[Anka]

See you have been attempting to belittle me since I started posting on this thread simply because I do not agree with you.

 

Sure, have the right to be bitter. I guess I would have that right as well I just prefer not be that way.

 

I like happiness. Bitterness sucks. Sorry.

 

So what about me bothers you so much? That Im a stripper? That Im also educated and have family, therefore shooting down your stereo type of what a stripper should be?

 

Life is not black and white and not everyone fits in the same box.

[annieo]

Well, thanks for the entertainment but I can't say that I have had any major insights here, just more confirmation that some people are basically mean-spirited and looking for a fight all the time.

One last clarification :

Anka, a B.A. is a degree, a B.Comm. is a degree, a M.Ed. is a degree, if you are attending a university (not a community college) for more than a year or two (or more likely, 3 or 4 years) in the same program, you might end up with a degree. But the last time I checked, there were no interior design programs at actual universities. It's a diploma or certificate course at best (depending on where you are going). Having been in a post-graduate program, and a father who is a university professor, I am pretty sure of what I'm talking about here.

Let's not get all grandiose with the terminology, ok.

[rainfall]

And good for you for taking the moral high ground. I for one am finding a tad humorous that people that claim they have not even been in a SC are telling me that my job is to dry hump and stripping is in no way an art.

 

Female body is beatiful and so is dance.

 

Im still put off by those of you who think its cheating though. If you feel that way about SC I hope like hell your SO's never have an affiar because I really dont think you would get over it. Ever.

 

I have been to one strip club a long time ago with an ex. He told me go with him to see what it is like and if I don't approve he will never go again. Lap dances sure looked like dry humping to me. Taking your clothes of for strangers IS NOT AN ART. If you have to tell yourself that at night to make yourself feel better then thats fine. Just don't expect everyone to believe that lie.

 

I don't understand how you expect me to think its not cheating if my bf has a naked chick on top of him grinding into him while she puts her boobs in his face.

[Anka]

Rainfall, I dont have to tell myself anything to "feel better"

 

Nor do I have to prove anything about my level of education or my future plans.

 

Im simply saying that there is nothing wrong with SC or stripping. Not all strippers are skilless and it is very much a performing art. You do have to have some skill to get up on a stage and dance in a way that is sexy. And pole tricks are not something just any one can hope up there and do. You need strenth, balance and it has to be graceful.

 

Not all SC are trashy, and not all strippers are trashy.

 

Agian, life is not black and white.

 

I am now finished with this silly arguement.

[Anka]

Okay one more thing, lol.

 

It is not cheating because this woman is entertianing him. NOT having sex or any sort of relationship. He is taking nothing from you.

 

If it is a man that regulars because he has a thing for a certian dancer, then I would consider it infidelity. But a lap dance is for purposes of entertianment.

[rainfall]

Okay one more thing, lol.

 

It is not cheating because this woman is entertianing him. NOT having sex or any sort of relationship. He is taking nothing from you.

 

If it is a man that regulars because he has a thing for a certian dancer, then I would consider it infidelity. But a lap dance is for purposes of entertianment.

 

 

Its not only for entertainment. It is also a sexual experience for the man. I am the only women who should be entertaining my man by being naked on top of him. If he ever feels the need to pay some money to someone to grind away on him then I will leave him.

[rainfall]

Im simply saying that there is nothing wrong with SC or stripping. Not all strippers are skilless and it is very much a performing art. You do have to have some skill to get up on a stage and dance in a way that is sexy. And pole tricks are not something just any one can hope up there and do. You need strenth, balance and it has to be graceful.

 

Not all SC are trashy, and not all strippers are trashy.

 

Agian, life is not black and white.

 

I am now finished with this silly arguement.

 

You are saying theres nothing wrong with having no self respect and parading around naked for any man with a dollar? Stripping does not require any skill. All you do is dance around sexy and take your clothes off. Most women in a relationship have probably done that at least once.

[Anka]

See this is what Im talking about with the black and white thing.

 

I have self respect. I know alot of woman who strip and have self respect. Stripping is not the only thing I do and it is like that for a lot of strippers.

 

Just because YOU see it a certian way does not make it the reality, and since you have only been to one SC a long time ago I really don't think you have any ground here. Would I come and tell you what your job is like and what sort of person that makes you? No.

 

You are stereo typing and making silly assumptions. What do you do for a living?

[rainfall]

See this is what Im talking about with the black and white thing.

 

I have self respect. I know alot of woman who strip and have self respect. Stripping is not the only thing I do and it is like that for a lot of strippers.

 

Just because YOU see it a certian way does not make it the reality, and since you have only been to one SC a long time ago I really don't think you have any ground here. Would I come and tell you what your job is like and what sort of person that makes you? No.

 

You are stereo typing and making silly assumptions. What do you do for a living?

 

 

I work at a crappy fast food place while i pay my way through college. It sucks and is a very crappy job. Really just because I see something a certain way doesn't make it so?

So maybe that means just because a lap dance isn't cheating to you to some people it is.