strip clubs, lying, private dances. ok or no?

[Miss Jane]

That’s not what it is. I didn’t ask for her approval and I didn’t need it. It’s more like I said, “hey I’m going to a strip club” and she said, “okay, see ya later.” I think that we are a little more grown up in our relationship than some people. We’re independent people, it’s our time together that matters, not what we are doing when we are apart.

 

This whole idea that going to a strip club somehow disrespects one’s significant other is, in my opinion, ignorant, immature insecurities. It is a lot like in some other threads where people are hurt and jealous because their SO talks to people of the opposite sex. If you feel the need to control another’s behavior and they prove to not be quite so controllable then the problem is yours, not theirs.

 

I don’t have to lie to my girlfriend because she’s never a bitch to me. I had one girlfriend who didn’t like one of my brothers and complained bitterly whenever I went to visit him. Consequently I lied to her whenever I went to see my brother. I wasn’t disrespecting her; she was just being a bitch, a controlling bitch. Needless to say, I dumped her before too long.

 

I wonder if your opinions will change when you're older, possibly married for 20+ years, and have a few kids. My husband said he knew I wouldn't like the strip club the second he walked in. But he stayed and got a private lap dance from a girl our daughters age. My opinion disagrees with yours but you're talking about a girlfriend, not a spouse of 20 plus years and I wouldn't divorce my husband over it but that still doesn't mean I don't have a serious problem with what he did (he didn't tell me about the lap dance--his friend "slipped" and mentioned it one night a few months after).

 

From all the different posts I can see a really wide range of opinions. I don't think you can compare food and meals to sexual entertainment. To me anything sexual should only be between me and my husband. And someone else's breasts in my husbands face is a form of "cheating" to me. I don't put any blame on the stripper--it's my husband. I don't want to offend Anka who has shared on this thread.

 

In response to your info about your recent trip to a sc. Thanks for sharing. You actually made it sound pretty boring. Sorry Anka--I'm sure it wasn't where you work. I kind of don't see why women go there. I don't think it would interest me unless I was a lesbian or bi. And I don't think my husband would want me to "dance" around for him. My husband seems to feel differently about what he expects is "wife" behavior as opposed to his expectations of a stripper. Do most men feel like this or do you think they want their SO's to put on "shows" for them?

 

Just wondering.

[halfarock]

...And I don't think my husband would want me to "dance" around for him. My husband seems to feel differently about what he expects is "wife" behavior as opposed to his expectations of a stripper. Do most men feel like this or do you think they want their SO's to put on "shows" for them?

 

Just wondering.

 

I had a conversation with my girlfriend about this last week. She told me that she thought it was natural that women should strip for their man. Often she does put on a show for me, though much different than what is at a strip club, because it is much more private, much more personal. My very first girlfriend, actually the girl who lived next door used to invite me over and put on a show for me, strip naked, before I was old enough to engage her sexually. It was fun and games. Several girl friends have put on shows for me.

 

With girlfriends I’ve always been playful. For a girlfriend to tease me, to briefly expose a breast where it is most inappropriate for me to, well, you know. It’s all part of the game. Didn’t they use to call it strip tease?

 

**** **** ****

 

With my old girl friend who was a stripper, I used to go into where she worked and just sit and watch. (I’m an artist and sitting and watching people is part of my design process, and my little sketch book) She was towards the end of her career and was getting bored with it. I think that she felt a great deal of comfort by me being there. In a way she seemed scared of her customers.

 

One thing that got me was that many of the people that would come in seemed to me to be quite lonely. It was like many of the guys who came in were the type that was somewhat successful in their job but utter failures at socializing, at getting girlfriends. I even thought this of the men I knew to be married. Of the ones that were married, I often wondered what their wives must be like. Again, I had a hard time imagining that they had desirable wives, at least from my point of view.

 

These men would stop in on their way home from work for a little pick me up. My girlfriend would talk to them, she’d remember their name, and dance around. They’d leave happy after perhaps the best human contact that they’d have all day. I’d watch my girlfriend work and she cared about people, she made me proud, I loved her greatly. She was like an angel.

 

There was a woman who often worked with my girlfriend. She used to tell these stories about all the fun things her and her boyfriend did when she wasn’t working. I knew her long enough to realize that she had no boyfriend. She’d just go home alone. The strip club was her social life. She used to tell my girlfriend how lucky she was to have someone like me. There were others too, who liked my company.

 

I once read about dance clubs of many years ago. Where lonely men would go and, for a fee, dance with young, mostly poor, women. That over the years these dance clubs fell away as strip clubs came into existence. Of the place that my old girlfriend liked to work, it was much like this. Lonely men with money, poor girls in need of money keeping them company. But no touching, other than a quick good bye hug.

 

The strippers that I talked to the other day when I went to a strip were very much like the ones that worked with my old girlfriend.

[bish]

That's the thing, she wouldn't. Throughout you've been arguing as if all women have the same attitude as rainfall. They don't.

 

I never said all women. But there are women who feel strongly about it and have their feeling hurt by it. And I didn't ask if your gf would be hurt by it....what if she was, what would you tell her?

 

That's the advantage of being a good looking, confident, sociable guy. You get to find a woman who is compatible rather than just getting what you can get.

 

Ah, so people who have feelings about these things are ugly? Now I've heard it all.

[Miss Jane]

I never said all women. But there are women who feel strongly about it and have their feeling hurt by it. And I didn't ask if your gf would be hurt by it....what if she was, what would you tell her?

 

Quote halfarock:

That's the advantage of being a good looking, confident, sociable guy. You get to find a woman who is compatible rather than just getting what you can get.

 

Quote bish:

Ah, so people who have feelings about these things are ugly? Now I've heard it all.

 

I have to agree with bish. Maybe the way halfarock said it didn't come off right. It definately insinuates having "settled". That couldn't be farther from the truth in my case. My husband was lucky to get me and I know that--and he knows that too. I appreciate you at least having some compassion for people who's feelings are hurt. What's done is done and all I have left is feeling like my husband doesn't care at all that he hurt my feelings because "nobody else's wife cares". I look at it as if he's angry that I care about our marriage--that doesn't make much sense to me. If I didn't care then I certainly wouldn't care about his lap dance. I'm trying to understand that as a "typical" guy--he doesn't like to talk about "feelings". After living with someone for over 20 years you think you know them--this has shown me a new side.

[halfarock]

Ah, so people who have feelings about these things are ugly? Now I've heard it all.

No, its just that I see couples fighting all the time and usually over stupid things, like a guy going to a strip club, or one or the other looking at someone else. Not actual cheating, but just looking. I never have these kind of fights with my girlfriends, never. Over the years I've come to the conclusion that one of the reasons couples fight is becasue they are not compatable and they tend to spend a lot of energy trying to make the other person be how they want them to be.

 

Part of the problem, as it occurs to me is that most people, regardless of what they say tend to just hang onto whoever they can get. I'm sure most, no, the vast majority of couples are like this. A person can grow to love almost anyone but that doesn't mean that object of one's love is the most ideal or even necessarily desireable. I'm just saying that most people put up with the crap because they don't have a lot of choices.

[Miss Jane]

IM sorry rainfall but you are talking a woman whose ex husband had unprotected sex with a woman at his work and then came home and had unprotected with me while I was pregnant without even showering in between.

 

He then played games with me and had me so stressed that I ended up in the hosiptal with pre term labor.

 

So Im sorry that you saying a trip to sc and a table dance is cheating makes me want to puke, or laugh.

 

Men look at woman no matter how much there love thier partner. If a man is gonna cheat, he is gonna cheat and it doesnt matter if he is in a sc or in church. Acting like the boob nazi isnt going to change the outcome.

 

And looking is NOT cheating. Gezzz, Rianfall, I really hope you never get cheated on:(

 

Actually, there is a thread in which someone wanted to have a new category on "visual cheating". Some think that looking is cheating. Of course this has a broad range--just looking, porn, strip clubs, etc. I think what happened in your situation is terrible. Good thing you dumped that guy. But some of us are from different backgrounds and, admittedly, I'm from a pretty conservative background. That doesn't mean I didn't have a whole lot of "fun" in the 70's--just that I sowed my "wild oats" before I commited myself to someone for "the rest of my life".

 

A lot of women are confused as to why their SO's are "into" porn, strippers, etc. To you it may not be cheating, but I don't think most wives "like" it. Actually, most just don't know about it--which is a form of lying. That's why, like the original thread, I was upset because my husband didn't tell me--I accidentally found out. Him going and looking was one thing. I know he looks at porn, but to me picking out a girl and going for a "private" lap dance is another thing. And because he hadn't been before he really didn't know what to expect. If he had touched her I would divorce him! No question. Strip clubs are like "live" porn. They sell sex--in a broader sense. To me, sex is a personal thing that should only be shared between me and my husband. I think it's inappropriate for him to be within inches of another women's naked body who is dancing to fulfill some sexual fantasy or sexual arousal of their client. And when you're 49 years old I think it's borderline perverted that the girl was in high school. I don't mean to sound judgemental. I really just think it's sad. An 18 year old should be having fun with her girlfriends doing "kid" stuff--not sexually entertaining any man who'll pull out his wallet.

[Miss Jane]

No, its just that I see couples fighting all the time and usually over stupid things, like a guy going to a strip club, or one or the other looking at someone else. Not actual cheating, but just looking. I never have these kind of fights with my girlfriends, never. Over the years I've come to the conclusion that one of the reasons couples fight is becasue they are not compatable and they tend to spend a lot of energy trying to make the other person be how they want them to be.

 

Part of the problem, as it occurs to me is that most people, regardless of what they say tend to just hang onto whoever they can get. I'm sure most, no, the vast majority of couples are like this. A person can grow to love almost anyone but that doesn't mean that object of one's love is the most ideal or even necessarily desireable. I'm just saying that most people put up with the crap because they don't have a lot of choices.

 

True, but I think the divorce rate is still around 50% of which 35% is now being instigated by the wife. Overall, I think women are less and less willing to put up with the "crap". Women have more financial independence these days and are making more choices for themselves. To those of us who have kids--it does make it harder to make some decisions. You're no longer just responsible for yourself, but also for your kids. I probably would've left my husband within the first year of being married but I was pregnant and newly married and I just couldn't make the decision to leave--I felt I had to try and work at it. After all, that was the vow I had just taken. Now here I am 23 years later.

[halfarock]

..I'm trying to understand that as a "typical" guy--he doesn't like to talk about "feelings". After living with someone for over 20 years you think you know them--this has shown me a new side.

 

This is what I've been talking about. After 20 years and whoa there's things about him that you still don't know. I've purposely gone out of my way to find women who I can communicate with easily, who I can talk with about my feelings and hers., who I can be completly open and honest with. To me this is the most important thing, far more than anything else.

 

The reason people lie to their SO is because they have things to hide. It seems that many people present themselves as other than they are, and especailly to potential boy/girlfriends. I don't know how many times I've heard guys go on about how they were a football or basketball star in high school when it was obvious that they just weren't the athletic type. It's the way of our society; it's all a facade.

[rainfall]

That’s not what it is. I didn’t ask for her approval and I didn’t need it. It’s more like I said, “hey I’m going to a strip club” and she said, “okay, see ya later.” I think that we are a little more grown up in our relationship than some people. We’re independent people, it’s our time together that matters, not what we are doing when we are apart.

 

This whole idea that going to a strip club somehow disrespects one’s significant other is, in my opinion, ignorant, immature insecurities. It is a lot like in some other threads where people are hurt and jealous because their SO talks to people of the opposite sex. If you feel the need to control another’s behavior and they prove to not be quite so controllable then the problem is yours, not theirs.

 

.

 

I am grown up in my relationship. I just don't feel the need to allow my SO to have other women touching him and/or dancing sexually for him. Its my job to turn him on by doing that stuff not theirs. For him to go out and seek an outside party to do things that are supposed to be between us cheapens our relationship.

 

Its not immature insecurites for me to not want him in a strip club. I just don't want a relationship that involves things like that.

As for controlling his behavior...he is free to do whatever he wants however if I don't agree with what he does and I find it to be a deal breaker I will leave. I should not have to just accept anything he does just so I am not viewed as controlling.

[stressedout09]

I totally agree with Rainfall. I think sc's shouldn't be a thought, unless the couple go together, in a relationship. I am totally against my bf being felt up by some other female...or vice versa. He thinks nothing is wrong with it and that doesn't sit well at all with me. How/why should I be ok with some other female feeling my man up or him touching her?! That's not right in any which way you see it. He's tried to tell me that touching isn't allowed, but I think that's a cop out to try to make me feel better. He's even tried to tell me that his dick doesn't get hard when he gets a lap dance anymore (this was before me)...SO why get one then or go to a sc?! And the sorry "it's entertainment" excuse doesn't fly with me either because he can get perfectly entertained at home with more than just a dance FOR FREE! I just don't understand how a man, especially my man, can think it's ok to touch or be touched by another female. If you're single, by all means, but in a relationship is overstepping boundaries. I've given him the example what if I went to a male sc and had this urge to feel up on the stripper's dick and I quoted to him "I'd have someone else's dick in my hands...not yours...someone else's" and my bf said he wouldn't care. I'm tempted to call his bluff! He'd be upset if I came home with a guy's phone number but he wouldn't trip if I felt up on some guy? They're both strangers, right? I'm just not paying for one of them or one of them isn't being paid for me.

 

One of his bf's just got engaged and has mentioned he's having his bachelors party in Miami. Those are WORSE than sc's to me!! I am dreading the day.

 

My belief is that if you're in a relationship and your partner feels very strong about something specific, shouldn't the other respect that belief and do whatever it takes to make their partner feel more comfortable? It has nothing to do with trust...it has to do with respect!

 

There was one posting that Rainfall had a good point about trust in and it was something along the line of trusting the man, but that doesn't mean he can do whatever he wants. I feel the same way!!

[Miss Jane]

I am grown up in my relationship. I just don't feel the need to allow my SO to have other women touching him and/or dancing sexually for him. Its my job to turn him on by doing that stuff not theirs. For him to go out and seek an outside party to do things that are supposed to be between us cheapens our relationship.

 

Its not immature insecurites for me to not want him in a strip club. I just don't want a relationship that involves things like that.

As for controlling his behavior...he is free to do whatever he wants however if I don't agree with what he does and I find it to be a deal breaker I will leave. I should not have to just accept anything he does just so I am not viewed as controlling.

 

ditto. I didn't think this was part of my relationship until it came up some 20 plus years later. I don't tell my husband what to or not to do. I thought we both had the same boundaries. Actually, I think he knew he was crossing it--but did it anyways. A "guys" night out thing. I guess I'm just really disappointed. And exactly as you stated, I just feel like it somehow cheapens our relationship. And I've soul searched over the "insecurity" issue. I'm an older woman wrestling with the everyday reality of my aging body. It's just insulting to me at this point that my husband wants to flatter himself with the sexual entertainment of a teenager. I pointed out to him that half of the reason my body is ****ed up in any way is half his fault for my having his children. And, like bish, I could do my laundry on my stomach (ha, ha).

[Miss Jane]

I totally agree with Rainfall. I think sc's shouldn't be a thought, unless the couple go together, in a relationship. I am totally against my bf being felt up by some other female...or vice versa. He thinks nothing is wrong with it and that doesn't sit well at all with me. How/why should I be ok with some other female feeling my man up or him touching her?! That's not right in any which way you see it. He's tried to tell me that touching isn't allowed, but I think that's a cop out to try to make me feel better. He's even tried to tell me that his dick doesn't get hard when he gets a lap dance anymore (this was before me)...SO why get one then or go to a sc?! And the sorry "it's entertainment" excuse doesn't fly with me either because he can get perfectly entertained at home with more than just a dance FOR FREE! I just don't understand how a man, especially my man, can think it's ok to touch or be touched by another female. If you're single, by all means, but in a relationship is overstepping boundaries. I've given him the example what if I went to a male sc and had this urge to feel up on the stripper's dick and I quoted to him "I'd have someone else's dick in my hands...not yours...someone else's" and my bf said he wouldn't care. I'm tempted to call his bluff! He'd be upset if I came home with a guy's phone number but he wouldn't trip if I felt up on some guy? They're both strangers, right? I'm just not paying for one of them or one of them isn't being paid for me.

 

One of his bf's just got engaged and has mentioned he's having his bachelors party in Miami. Those are WORSE than sc's to me!! I am dreading the day.

 

My belief is that if you're in a relationship and your partner feels very strong about something specific, shouldn't the other respect that belief and do whatever it takes to make their partner feel more comfortable? It has nothing to do with trust...it has to do with respect!

 

There was one posting that Rainfall had a good point about trust in and it was something along the line of trusting the man, but that doesn't mean he can do whatever he wants. I feel the same way!!

 

I'd be stressed out. Nothing "good" can come from a bachelor party. Unless the guys decide to show a little class and have a great steak dinner, a few bottles of wine and go home and make love to their SO's. I stole that line, quote, unquote, from the Mike and Juliet morning show. If you're not married yet and your bf is already showing these signs of things he wants to do that you don't feel are appropriate in your relationship--you better nip this one in the butt now! Seriously. My husband of 20 plus years told me the same stuff your bf has told you. He said if there was touching during a lap dance it would be okay because it is in a strip club and that's what "everyone" does. I don't care where it occurs--it's inappropriate in my relationship. And my husband also says that if I went to a male strip club and got a lap dance, blah, blah, blah, that he wouldn't care. The thing is--that totally has no interest to me at all. The male equivalent of going to a strip club isn't the same as what women want to do. ( How many male strip clubs are there in relation to female strip clubs?) Anything I would want to do with my girlfriends doesn't involve naked men gyrating their genitalia in my face. So, what would be a female equivalent? I figure it would be like going to a bar and being flattered by some "hot" guy who offers to buy you a drink. But would you slip off into a back room for some private time? Probably not, unless you did have the intention of "cheating". That was my premise with my husband. Besides, I could get "it" without having to PAY for it!

[halfarock]

...I just don't feel the need to allow my SO to have other women touching him and/or dancing sexually for him. Its my job to turn him on by doing that stuff not theirs. For him to go out and seek an outside party to do things that are supposed to be between us cheapens our relationship.

Actually, I tend to agree with you, you and Annieo, Miss Jane, and Stressedout09. You shouldn’t have to put up with your husbands’ behavior and that is a point I’ve been trying to make, there is an obvious incompatibility. I would never lie to my girlfriend about such things.

 

 

Back when I had a stripper girlfriend, I use to ask guys, after they had just spent some time ogling her, things like, “What would you do if you walked in here and saw your daughter up there on stage?” Quite often my girlfriend would give me notes that guys had given her with their names and phone numbers on them. Next to one of the galleries I used there was a gay bar with a bulletin board for gay hookups. hehe

[beautifuldisaster]

I think everyone knows that being sexual with someone else other than their SO is considered cheating. So why do men think that having another woman, half naked or naked, grind him and stick her boobs in his face is ok?? Would he feel that it's fine to have that done anywhere else other than a SC? I doubt it! Why do all the rules of a relationship go out the window as soon as they step into a SC?

[Woggle]

For all the women condemning strip clubs what is your response to this board? http://womensinfidelity.com/community/viewforum.php? In a woman's mind it is okay for her to screw as many other men as she wants but god forbid her husband go out for some fun with the guys to a nudie bar. Women are such hypocrites.

[annieo]

I think everyone knows that being sexual with someone else other than their SO is considered cheating. So why do men think that having another woman, half naked or naked, grind him and stick her boobs in his face is ok?? Would he feel that it's fine to have that done anywhere else other than a SC? I doubt it! Why do all the rules of a relationship go out the window as soon as they step into a SC?

 

I think you hit the nail on the head. I think my husband and a LOT of other men think that a sc is an alternative universe or something, where everyday rules don't apply. My husband has stated this himself, that what he thinks of as ok in a sc he WOULD consider cheating in any other context. I don't think the context/setting really matters for most women (or for me, at any rate). Another girl's boobs/ass in your husbands face (either at a sc, work, wherever!) is a no-no for most people in a monogomous relationship.

The thing is I know that he knew it was a no-no, which is why he tried to keep the 3 table ddance info from me. He knew it wasn't ok with me, but it was ok with him at the time.

 

I really am at the point where I just want to let this go. I am not a normally jealous, suspicious person, but with this guy, over this issue, I am turning into one and I don't like it.

The sad reality is that I will never trust him 100% ever again. For any men who read this, if you love your partner, don't lie to them. I don't care what you've done, or if your woman is a little frightening when pissed off. Come clean, deal with the fallout and then move on (either to a new stage in your relationship or whatever). The healing will be way easier if your are honest. Lying kills something that I now know does not grow back quickly, if ever at all. Not only does it hurt her and your relationship, I think it hurts the man as well (assuming he has a conscience).

[Miss Jane]

I think you hit the nail on the head. I think my husband and a LOT of other men think that a sc is an alternative universe or something, where everyday rules don't apply. My husband has stated this himself, that what he thinks of as ok in a sc he WOULD consider cheating in any other context. I don't think the context/setting really matters for most women (or for me, at any rate). Another girl's boobs/ass in your husbands face (either at a sc, work, wherever!) is a no-no for most people in a monogomous relationship.

The thing is I know that he knew it was a no-no, which is why he tried to keep the 3 table ddance info from me. He knew it wasn't ok with me, but it was ok with him at the time.

 

I really am at the point where I just want to let this go. I am not a normally jealous, suspicious person, but with this guy, over this issue, I am turning into one and I don't like it.

The sad reality is that I will never trust him 100% ever again. For any men who read this, if you love your partner, don't lie to them. I don't care what you've done, or if your woman is a little frightening when pissed off. Come clean, deal with the fallout and then move on (either to a new stage in your relationship or whatever). The healing will be way easier if your are honest. Lying kills something that I now know does not grow back quickly, if ever at all. Not only does it hurt her and your relationship, I think it hurts the man as well (assuming he has a conscience).

 

Well stated. And in addition the part about coming clean instead of lying--if you know it's something you're going to have to lie about--do you HAVE to do it? Being in a committed relationship means you should conduct yourself with consideration for your SO. I realize this isn't easy, especially with the male "pack" mentality going on--but think first! My sad realization as to how weak my husband is left me in disbelief that his brain went totally out the window the second he walked into a sc. And the way guys think that as long as it happens in a strip club makes it alright? What a bunch of crap. I could be in a bar and do the same thing and he wouldn't be happy at all--but it would be okay in a strip club? "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas"? It's all a bunch of bull****, trying to cover up peoples "desire" for sexual infidelity.

[halfarock]

I talk with my girlfriend at least 100 times more, time wise, than I have sex with her. That is our relationship is based on the fact that we communicate so well with each other. I don’t have to have sex with her in order for our relationship to work because that is not what it is based on. So, if I talk to someone else, am I cheating?

 

Is that why some women so hate strip clubs, because their relationship with their man is based on sex? That they don’t really talk?

[annieo]

I talk with my girlfriend at least 100 times more, time wise, than I have sex with her. That is our relationship is based on the fact that we communicate so well with each other. I don’t have to have sex with her in order for our relationship to work because that is not what it is based on. So, if I talk to someone else, am I cheating?

 

Is that why some women so hate strip clubs, because their relationship with their man is based on sex? That they don’t really talk?

 

My husband and I talk plenty. I only found out that our communication with each other wasn't what I thought last fall when he was caught in his lie. That's one of the big reasons I feel like an idiot. I used to (as you do) pride myself on the open, non-judgemental interaction I had with my spouse.

Our relationship, while still sexually alive and well (amazing, all things considered), is not based on sex. I think (thought?) it's based on love, friendship and mutual respect. I think he just felt like doing something naughty (that he knew would bother me, the dances, not the sc - that would NOT have thrown me for a loop) and he did it thinking that I would never know. And because it wasn't a big deal for him (e.g., he was in a sc so it wasn't cheating as far as he was concerned), that I did not need/deserve to know about it. Remember, I only found out because I found the matches from the club. Had this not happened, I would be none the wiser. He decided to be a "bad" boy that night and then didn't want to have to face me later. A bit of a coward in this instance, don't you think?

No, I don't think talking to someone else is cheating, unless it is talk that is engineered to lead to physical intimacy. Not just flirting for the fun of it, but flirting for a purpose, if you know what I mean.

By the way, I was born in Oregon (Eugene). What's it like there? I left when I was a baby. And congrats on your relationship. It sounds like you are doing it right.

 

"And in addition the part about coming clean instead of lying--if you know it's something you're going to have to lie about--do you HAVE to do it? "

 

Nobody has to DO anything, Miss Jane, but everybody makes mistakes. I know I have. I think the real test of character has to do with what happpens afterwards. If your husband has only been to a club/had a dance once in 20 years, I don't think that's so unforgiveable. Admittedly, he's dealing with it like a jackass, but he hasn't had much practice, from the sounds of things.

During my whole "experience" last November with my husband, I also found out that he had been to clubs at least 3 other times while away on business that I did not know about (again, SUPPOSEDLY no dances, but how the hell can I believe that now?). He has honesty issues, obviously. But if this had been a one-off, I would have written it off.

[Green]

u should strip and give me a lap dance that would show him...

[annieo]

Thanks for your silly input, kmt. Pretty sure there is a club near you that can take care of that for you. Go there.

[Green]

oh I wasnt kidding. If you want to get back at ur husband strip for another man. My personal opinion is this guy is going to keep going to strip clubs.

[annieo]

I value your input. Why do you think so? I'm not sure that I am into revenge. Hurts me more than him.

[Green]

it goes both ways your husband doesnt seem to trust you right now either figure out whats at the root of all this, dont leave yourself out of the equation and you'll have the peace of mind your looking for.

[Raspberry]

For all the women condemning strip clubs what is your response to this board? http://womensinfidelity.com/community/viewforum.php? In a woman's mind it is okay for her to screw as many other men as she wants but god forbid her husband go out for some fun with the guys to a nudie bar. Women are such hypocrites.

 

If you are whack enough in the head to believe that that board represents all women, you need to get off the internet and start living in the real world. See, this is logic for most people but you seem to have a problem getting this fact so I will explain it to you. The women who are posting on that board do not have a problem with cheating and being unfaithful. Women who do not cheat are not posting on that board.

As it stands, more men cheat than women in marriages. So....there 'ya go, hope it wasn't too complicated for you to understand. Let me know if you need a further explanation.