strip clubs, lying, private dances. ok or no?

[rainfall]

I talk with my girlfriend at least 100 times more, time wise, than I have sex with her. That is our relationship is based on the fact that we communicate so well with each other. I don’t have to have sex with her in order for our relationship to work because that is not what it is based on. So, if I talk to someone else, am I cheating?

 

Is that why some women so hate strip clubs, because their relationship with their man is based on sex? That they don’t really talk?

 

I talk to my boyfriend alot as well. The reason I hate strip clubs is because I do not find it accepptable for another women to be naked touching my man or dancing sexually for him. If I came home one day and some chick was naked dancing around for him then almost everyone would agree that was wrong. Just because the behavior happens in a sc doesn't make it right.

The rules of what is right and wrong in a relationship still apply in a strip club for me. He doesn't have a free pass to act single just because its in a strip club.

[halfarock]

...By the way, I was born in Oregon (Eugene). What's it like there? I left when I was a baby. And congrats on your relationship. It sounds like you are doing it right...

 

Around 2000, I think, I took a trip along the west coast and so liked Oregon that I went home, packed my stuff, sold my house, and moved here. It never gets too cold or too hot and everything grows so well. Oregon has the best trees of anywhere. Where I live my nearest neighbors are raccoons, skunks, and nutria. I wake every morning to the sound of birds.

 

Just for the record, my girlfriend did tell me that if I had one of those private dances (I think lap dances are illegal in Oregon) that it would hurt her feelings. It’s mostly a non-issue because I don’t have any interest in one. Also, even though she didn’t have any problem with me going to a strip club last weekend, which I detailed in an earlier post, I’m sure if I kept going it would bother her.

 

I really like it that she trusts me as she does. I’d really hate to lose that trust.

[Miss Jane]

I talk to my boyfriend alot as well. The reason I hate strip clubs is because I do not find it accepptable for another women to be naked touching my man or dancing sexually for him. If I came home one day and some chick was naked dancing around for him then almost everyone would agree that was wrong. Just because the behavior happens in a sc doesn't make it right.

The rules of what is right and wrong in a relationship still apply in a strip club for me. He doesn't have a free pass to act single just because its in a strip club.

Exactly. I don't know what happens to the male mentality that they think that just because it happens in a sc that it is alright. What is so magical about the sc? Just because they're paying for it makes it somehow okay? It's all a lame excuse for males, pathetically having no control over their sexual desires. Hello--grow up! It's not that big a deal!

[Miss Jane]

Actually, I tend to agree with you, you and Annieo, Miss Jane, and Stressedout09. You shouldn’t have to put up with your husbands’ behavior and that is a point I’ve been trying to make, there is an obvious incompatibility. I would never lie to my girlfriend about such things.

 

 

Back when I had a stripper girlfriend, I use to ask guys, after they had just spent some time ogling her, things like, “What would you do if you walked in here and saw your daughter up there on stage?” Quite often my girlfriend would give me notes that guys had given her with their names and phone numbers on them. Next to one of the galleries I used there was a gay bar with a bulletin board for gay hookups. hehe

 

I asked my husband that question. After finding out the girl he got his private lap dance from was the same age as our daughter--I asked him how he would feel if our daughter was a stripper in the same circumstance. He said he wouldn't like it.

[Miss Jane]

For all the women condemning strip clubs what is your response to this board? http://womensinfidelity.com/community/viewforum.php? In a woman's mind it is okay for her to screw as many other men as she wants but god forbid her husband go out for some fun with the guys to a nudie bar. Women are such hypocrites.

 

You certainly sound bitter. I can only assume you were "cheated" on by your SO. I feel like I was "cheated" on in my relationship even though I am referring to a private lap dance in a sc, but I am not a cheating hypocrite. I checked out this site. It has a lot of good points, but you're reading a volume of research done by a woman who is selling her book. It seemed like more of an advertisement to me. I did read some of the posts in the forum and they shed some insight. If I was a cheating wife I wouldn't forbid my husband for getting his "jollies" at a nudie bar. I would certainly expect it if I was "cheating". And the first point of the website refers to women loosing interest in sex with their SO. I have two opinions on that. For one. . . did it ever occur to guys that the reason their SO looses interest is because maybe the sex is mediocre? And two. . . what do guys do to turn women on? You expect us to drop to our knees and perform for you for what reason did you give us? Because you were loving, attentive, supporting, and fullfilling any of our needs? Hello--society has changed.

Maybe men should stop being so self-absorbed and stop looking at what we did to them and look at what they did for us in return. Many women are stressed out with kids and the damage done to our bodies and men turn around and entertain themselves at nudie bars in return? Were's the consideration. Where's the respect? Why should we deal with it at all?

[Miss Jane]

Around 2000, I think, I took a trip along the west coast and so liked Oregon that I went home, packed my stuff, sold my house, and moved here. It never gets too cold or too hot and everything grows so well. Oregon has the best trees of anywhere. Where I live my nearest neighbors are raccoons, skunks, and nutria. I wake every morning to the sound of birds.

 

Just for the record, my girlfriend did tell me that if I had one of those private dances (I think lap dances are illegal in Oregon) that it would hurt her feelings. It’s mostly a non-issue because I don’t have any interest in one. Also, even though she didn’t have any problem with me going to a strip club last weekend, which I detailed in an earlier post, I’m sure if I kept going it would bother her.

 

I really like it that she trusts me as she does. I’d really hate to lose that trust.

 

Okay. So see what I am saying. That after 20 plus years of being married--this never came up. Only after you went to the sc did your girlfriend tell you that her feelings would have been hurt if you had had a lap dance. ( Why do you think they might be illegal? That in itself should tell you something about the brevity of a lap dance) Even though you say you didn't have one, it wasn't discussed and if you had done it she would have been hurt. My point--I didn't have a problem with my husband going--I trusted him. But he went, did the "lap dance", didn't tell me about it, and I was just so totally shocked that he would do something like that. My feelings were hurt and all he has been doing is turning it around on me like I am a total bitch because "nobody else's wife cares". As if I am the only women that has a problem with it. I can't imagine that anyone SO "likes" it--maybe they just put up with it? Or, most likely, don't know about it!

 

And, by the way, a friend of mine, won a pole dancing class on a radio call-in show. She told me about it but would be too embarrassed to go. She said she would go, if I would go. I actually think it might be fun. Not like I plan to actually do it in front of anyone. Just exercise and maybe it would make me feel "good" about myself. I think I could have fun with it--I used to do gymnastics, was a cheerleader (please don't judge) and am still very fit for 48. I mentioned it to my husband and his response was only that it would be "weird". After all, he is the one that said, "no one wants to look at 40 year old strippers"--ouch!

[annieo]

"mentioned it to my husband and his response was only that it would be "weird". After all, he is the one that said, "no one wants to look at 40 year old strippers"--ouch!"

Your husband (much like mine) seems prone to making really offensive statements and then wonders why the hell you're being bitchy. I am pretty sure there are a lot of men (younger, firmer men than your spouse or mine) who would be more than happy to see you (or other women beyond their teenaged years) naked, dancing and more. I was asked out for coffee not so long ago (I declined - I am married, not a cheater) by a 25 year old, hot, smart, single coworker (I am 42). I have a single 43 year old friend who is always getting hit on by younger guys. My own husband (and by the way this is my 2nd marriage) is 9 years younger than I am. Pass this on to your husband - it works both ways. And also let hime know that not all wives are ok with their husbands going to sc or having dances. I agree with you those guys who say their wives don't mind have wives who don't know a damn thing.

Originally Posted by halfarock

Around 2000, I think, I took a trip along the west coast and so liked Oregon that I went home, packed my stuff, sold my house, and moved here. It never gets too cold or too hot and everything grows so well. Oregon has the best trees of anywhere. Where I live my nearest neighbors are raccoons, skunks, and nutria. I wake every morning to the sound of birds.

 

Just for the record, my girlfriend did tell me that if I had one of those private dances (I think lap dances are illegal in Oregon) that it would hurt her feelings. It’s mostly a non-issue because I don’t have any interest in one. Also, even though she didn’t have any problem with me going to a strip club last weekend, which I detailed in an earlier post, I’m sure if I kept going it would bother her.

 

I really like it that she trusts me as she does. I’d really hate to lose that trust.

 

Don't lie to her, try to not screw up, if you do, admit it and don't act like the injured party and you'll be ok. I had another terrible night last night, when all the hurt came back to me and I felt like it happened yesterday. My husband was extremely impatient, acted like this is something that is being done to him, blames loveshack for making this even worse (he might have something there - maybe I should just try to forget, go amnesiac, it's not like talking has helped much).

I have puffy eyes, am tired and feel like I can't face anyone today, including my kids, who need to have a fully functioning mom today.

Honestly, right now I wish I could smack him across the face for bringing this into my life.

On a more positive note, Oregon sounds beautiful (much as my parents described it). The other night I had this really intensely visual dream about a grove of super tall, super old trees that looked like redwoods or sequoia, and when I woke up, I thought about Oregon.

[Miss Jane]

Annieo--

 

Sorry to hear you had a bad night. It does make it hard to deal with kids, etc. when you've had a rough night. I have those days/nights sometimes. Little easier for me now that my kids don't live at home. Last night I couldn't sleep. Sometimes I wonder if posting on Loveshack just keeps perpetuating the whole situation. But I keep feeling the need to have someone to talk to about it and to vent. Mostly, it helps me to hear what others in my similar circumstance have to say. Yesterday my husband and I went to see "Knocked up". There was a scene where the guys in the story went to a strip club and the scene was them getting a lap dance. All I've seen about lap dances are just as were in the movie. My husband says that's not how it was as the club that he was at, but I told him that that is what I thought it was like and that was why I was upset about it. Hard to see their being no contact during dances when you see how it is portrayed in the movies and on shows like the Sopranos. My husband got all mad that he knew I would bring up topic and got all mad about it and so we dropped it and I went over to my friends house. We hung out until about 3am and then I was back to Loveshack. Seems you and I are still feeling pretty badly about the whole thing.

[halfarock]

Why do you think they might be illegal? That in itself should tell you something about the brevity of a lap dance.

I don’t know for sure but I’ve been told that in Oregon, if a woman is being paid to take her clothes off and if any touching occurs between her and a man, that that qualifies as prostitution.

 

…blames loveshack for making this even worse…

Sometimes I wonder if posting on Loveshack just keeps perpetuating the whole situation.

It’s probably better to vent then to keep it inside. Besides, you've convinced me of your point of view.

[annieo]

Thanks, half a rock. I didn't get into this for any other reason than to work out my feelings and see how other people feel. I'm not out to convince or convert. I'm still not sure that I am being fair or "right", whatever that means. Thanks everyone, who posted on this thread. It's been very interesting. Peace and love to you all.

[halfarock]

You have Anka down to a T, unfortunately.

 

This is a woman, and I use the term loosely who services her clients. Not long ago she was posting on a few different internet forums about how she cheated on her perv of a fiance with a client. She got drunk while dancing, this guy took her to his place, and she had sex with him. Meanwhile, her perv of a fiancee was left with her kids without word of where little miss trampie was.

 

But then again, she always drives home from her stripping gig pissed out of her mind. She has an admitted problem with booze and is drunk driving constantly (mother of the year anyone?)

 

This is what Raygan.... ummm... Anka does for a living.

 

She is an awful parent, absolutely horrendous. You dont want me to go into details here, but sufficed to say, her kids are not as well looked after as she claims they are, and they are most definitely not happy, as evidenced by the oldest hoarding food and smearing it all over her trailer (yes, she is also trailer trash, go figure).

 

Her fiancee jerks off to internet porn, her girls walked in on him and caught him.

 

She is everything you are saying about strippers. She has claimed she has gone to college, she's been going to college for years now, only her areas of expertise continually change. First she's a child care expert, then a gynecologist, then a theologist, then an animal care expert, you name it, she's done it all.

 

This one is the ultimate liar and manipulator. She frequents boards as Raygan. Google her name and you'll find her, and once you do, you'll have no doubt that Raygan and Anka are the same person.

 

Good luck with this one, she's a complete waste of oxygen.

 

I tried googling both Anka and Raygan. I don't see what you are talking about. If you are going to come on here and just trash her you are going to need proof. Actual links would be helpful. Otherwise you just sound hateful.

[LucreziaBorgia]

I tried googling both Anka and Raygan. I don't see what you are talking about. If you are going to come on here and just trash her you are going to need proof. Actual links would be helpful. Otherwise you just sound hateful.

 

I know what she is talking about. I've seen her stuff on several different forums and stripped of the angry tone, its more or less like its posted - she has posted stuff like this about herself. I don't know if any of the stuff she posted about herself was actually true - she has posted in other places that she made it all up to piss people off, but she did post stuff like that in various forums and managed to anger some of the members - as you can see with that post. Who is the real Raygan? Eh... who knows. I think its a form of 'fun' for her. You see all kinds on the internet, that's for sure.

[yourcheatingheart]

I tried googling both Anka and Raygan. I don't see what you are talking about. If you are going to come on here and just trash her you are going to need proof. Actual links would be helpful. Otherwise you just sound hateful.

 

Can we post links here?

 

Try looking for...

 

Raygen88 on survivinginfidelity

Raygan on gloryb

Raygen88 on Yonville (which is an ezboard forum)

[Anka]

Ummm why not just ASK me?

 

Me and a few other people went on TOW and stirred them up. We had our reasons.

 

Try looking for Allycat88 on SI if you wanna see my story there.

 

Well, I was banned from TOW (big deal) for admitting I was a troll. We were soooooooo done with that place anyways.

 

Since then, members of that forum have been stalking me online like the obsessed bitches they are.

 

This "Raygan hunter" is a stalker coming on here because she cant seem to live with out me.

 

So far, all I have done on LS is give my opinions and advice. So I really do not see how her coming here and talking crap about other forums has to do with the issue at hand.

 

Plus, Raygan Hunter, I would love to see proof, REAL proof of these accusations. I do not know you in real life (Thank God) and I really don't see how you coming here and saying that makes any sense.

 

Are you trying to be a hero? Trying to get more of my attention?

 

Either way, grow up, get over it. All you have proved is how demented people act when a stranger, online, ticks you off.

 

I do not live in a trailer, I live in a large house by the gulf. I work at Visions and Penthouse and have a VERY clean reputation, and I do not drive drunk.

 

Don't come on here bitching about some character that was created by three people. Get over it. How totally pathetic.

 

Take it to myspace, I know you have been there.

 

****ing crazy stalkers.......so is the way of TOW.

[Anka]

Go check my myspace to read the saga and what people who KNOW me had to say...

 

http://www.myspace.com/Raygan01

 

 

Check out my pics and see how abused and neglected my beautiful children look

 

If you have issues with me, take it to my page. Keep it off a board that has NOTHING to do with it and off this ladies thread. How immature and selfish.

 

This all should really be deleted as it is a personal issue with nothing to do with the thread or the poster. Plus, it is full of BS.

[halfarock]

This is as much as I suspected. Besides even if everything that Raygan hunter said was true it wouldn’t invalidate anything that you posted on this thread nor would it make the misconceptions about strip clubs posted here any truer.

[Anka]

Exacatly.

 

Meet my stalkers!!!!!!!!!

 

Aren't they cute???

 

Sorry, they are not trained very well yet, but give me a little more time Ill have em whiped into [place in NO time.

 

 

Okay............back to the issue at hand............

[yourcheatingheart]

This is as much as I suspected. Besides even if everything that Raygan hunter said was true it wouldn’t invalidate anything that you posted on this thread nor would it make the misconceptions about strip clubs posted here any truer.

 

Sorry for the threadjack, halfarock.

 

I do think many of the posters here might want to be aware that Anka posts on Yonville, which is dedicated to mocking posters on various infidelity boards (including Loveshack) and to attempting to out them IRL. She spent several months being an annoying and incoherent presence on gloryb, where she now claims to have been a troll. Many of the things she has posted on this board she also posted on gloryb, but later claimed that they were all lies.

[Anka]

Agian, take it to a mod of this board.

 

You are being rude and obnoxious, and taking the space away from the ones here who are trying be helpful.

 

This is someone elses thread.

 

Start your own or go to a mod.

 

Sorry everyone.

 

BACK TO THE ISSUE.

[yourcheatingheart]

Sorry everyone.

 

Are you sorry that you post on Yonville, where Loveshack posters are mocked and outed? It would seem disingenous to simply be apologizing for someone disclosing that fact about you, wouldn't it? "Rude and obnoxious" seems a small thing in comparison to being an internet troll.

 

I expect these posts will be deleted, but hopefully the posters here will be aware of who you are.

[Anka]

[COLOR=red][FONT=serif]Hmmmmmmmmm[/FONT][/COLOR]

,

 

Your drivel might be relevant if I were, per say, hanging out on the OW/OM part of this board.

 

It may be relevant if I was trying to get TMI from other posters here.

 

It may be relevant if I was posting nonstop trying to get a rise out the board.

 

But, it seems I have done of these things now or at anytime in during my LS membership. You, however, have joined just for the purpose of starting bull poop.

 

So in all actuality the only here right now displaying troll behavior is you and your friend.

 

I apologized for acknowledging you exist, and keeping this going.

 

I will stop now. If you have an issue with me as a poster on LS you have the option of going to a mod. You can even start your own thread.

 

At least attempt to have some respect for another person and take your beef with me where it belongs.

 

Again, sorry to the LS posters reading this. I will stop.

 

 

 

P.S. , you may want to check out the guide lines of posting on LS. You are violating several. Something I actually didn't do on TOW.

[new_stella]

Thank you for reminding me how stupid it is to validate your feelings against boards like this one!

 

Me and a few other people went on TOW and stirred them up. We had our reasons.

You had your reasons? What reasons?

 

I do not live in a trailer, I live in a large house by the gulf. I work at Visions and Penthouse and have a VERY clean reputation, and I do not drive drunk.

Yeah, and I am Snowhite.

People with 'very clean reputation' don't even use those words.

Sad thing is, for a moment, I thought you were real.

 

even if everything that Raygan hunter said was true it wouldn’t invalidate anything that you posted on this thread nor would it make the misconceptions about strip clubs posted here any truer.

Sure!

First of all: yes, it would!

And second: she’s a troll, she practically admitted it and you still expect anyone to take her opinion into account?! Just because it matches yours? Or: are you Anka too? Who knows???

 

No decent person will ever become a stripper.

No decent person will ever defend it.

[annieo]

I have now realized one thing worse than being a woman whose husband goes to sc and lies to her about it: being a woman (I am assuming, Anka, that you actually are a woman) who spends every freaking minute of her spare time writing inflammatory, self-righteous, self-serving, EGOTISTICAL posts on a number of forums, to the point where she has people following her around to discredit her. Get a life, Anka. I mean, when do you find the time to "work", take care of your kids, etc.. There but for the grace of god go I.

 

I must thank you, though. I have now been cured of my seemingly insignificant problem. I feel sorry for anyone who actually comes here needing sane, thoughtful advice (excepting half a rock, new stella and a few others who don't seem to be whacked in the head).