LoveIsBlinding Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 Long- sorry One place you'll hardly ever find me is at bars. I guess this past weekend was an exception. I went out with a couple girlfriends and we found some of our guy friends that happened to be at the same bar. We hung out, good time, etc. Hours later we are super wasted and unable to drive to our place of sleeping so our friends offered to let us stay there. I've been there before, as I know the group of guys fairly well. Apparently one of the guy friends was trying to be a little more than friendly to me, and I just ignored the situation. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years now, and I know he is the man I will be marrying in the next few years. I have never cheated in my whole life, not even coming remotely close. I love this man with all of my heart and would never do anything to hurt him. I remember getting to their house and all of us girls passed out on the couch. I remember waking up to see the guy who I guess wanted to be more than friendly, and he was laying right by me. I'm not 100% positive since I was blacked out, but he tried to kiss me and I think he might have? I feel so..... numb. I was completely blacked out and I know he was drunk too but it ticks me off because he knows I am in a long term relationship and love my boyfriend very much. Memories are so sketchy considering I was trying to SLEEP while passed out and he was taking advantage of that fact. I remember at one point saying "------, NO!" and all he kept doing was trying to convince me. It was horrible. Telling me that nobody has to know and giving me compliments and blahblah, and I remember saying "no just leave me alone!" I then proceeded to tear up in my passed out-ness just telling him I miss my boyfriend and want him to come home (he's overseas, and is in the military). I woke up the next morning still on the couch and he was sleeping on the floor- which confirms the fact I made him move. I'm just so upset. I feel like *I* cheated, but I didn't! I emailed the guy who tried to press himself on me, and all I wrote was "what happened, you need to explain this to me". I think it was my innerself trying to figure out exactly what he did so that I can make sure that there is no reason for me to feel guilty. I know we didn't have sex at all, nothing even close. I have been sick to my stomach ever since the incident. I don't like this guy AT ALL, and then of all people he has to be the one to jeopordize my relationship. I have this lump in my throat.. I can't even think of anything else. I think this is haunting me since I'm an honest person. I really don't think I can tell my boyfriend because he would either a) want to kick that guys butt, or b) break up with me. I'm sure it would be blown out of proportion. I don't even know if there is reason for me tell him anyways, since I think the guy forced himself on me and I was too passed out to move away from his kissing, and attempting to kiss and go farther. But I will admit I shouldn't have drank that much and it's my fault for being drunk. I hardly EVER drink. But at this point, I'm giving it up COMPLETELY, event if I am only drinking maybe once every 2 months now. I think by telling my boyfriend it will just make him upset for no reason. He isn't due back in the US for several months still, so I'm hoping I can just forget about it and realize I didn't do anything wrong. This isn't cheating right? I didn't do anything. Ugh. Help. Link to post Share on other sites
Bree Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 Cheating, no. Getting completely wasted with some guys, way wrong. If you have a honest relationship with your boyfriend, then you definetly need to tell him. Sure you'll get a lecture along with it, but you'll feel better knowing that you were able to tell him and get it off your chest. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 Tell him when he comes back home and is done his tour - don't tell him now or if he comes home on leave. What happened isn't worth his mental anguish over it and really, nothing happened, some guy tried to force himself on you and you resisted. Trust me - I'm married to a military man and we were LDR for over a year. I had something similar happen and it was a huge mess, and he almost asked for a permanent posting to the arctic. It's not worth creating a mess over nothing esp. if he's on tour. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 You might feel some guilt for getting drunk, but you should be more ANGRY than feeling guilty. That guy tried to force himself on you when you were passed out and incapacitated. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 Are you certain you weren't given roofies? Get yourself checked out for it, if you were more drunk than you should have been based on alcohol consumption. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Date_rape_drug Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveIsBlinding Posted April 20, 2007 Author Share Posted April 20, 2007 Well, it's been almost a week since the incident and I feel much better about the situation. I am starting to piece together why I was freaking out so much over it. When I was a child I had someone approach me like that in a similar way, so I'm thinking I was having panic attacks and crying fits over the whole thing because it reminded me of the past? I know that the guy that did this is NOTHING to me. He's an ugly *******. I felt so numb because I was passed out drunk, and although I obviously have no feelings whatsoever for this guy (I don't even really know him that well, he was just a mutual friend), it was hurting me so bad I was taken advantage of. Whether or not I had a spiked drink I will never know unfortunately, but I have made some changes. I don't think bringing up the situation to the boyfriend will be something to do, since it would just cause conflict over nothing. If I do, it will be very low key like, he might ask to go drink with me and I might mention that I've stopped drinking for a while and explain that it's because some guy tried to grope up on me while I was passed out so I had to shove him off. That way I can tell him, and will if the situation arises. I never cheated on him, I woke up from being blacked out and though my boyfriend was next to me and then after about 1 min. realized it was someone else. Gross. Whether or not I kissed the guy back I don't honestly remember, but it was DEFINITELY not intentional if it happened. I remember pushing him away as he was trying to kiss me. Ick. Gross. That loser. Anyways, to make some changes I am not going to drink anymore, unless it is with the boyfriend. I am cutting off all those people from my life. The ones who were in the pack of boys of this guy, and also not going ot be around the girlfriends I was with that much. They tend to be a lot of negativity and get too drunk too often, to where there is no sober person to help look out for each other. I was pretty upset because the next day my friend mentioned "oh yeah we noticed he was into you!" I'm like oh man could you have mentioned something to me so I could have avoided him while we were out and about? Ugh. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
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