new consufed and alone

[LiveThroughThis]

Where do I start? I'm 27 years old, I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. We live together. I have completely changed into a person I no longer recognize. He doesn't like my brothers, my best friends.. he doesn't like when I use the phone at all. He constantly calls me "sneaky" and makes lesbian comments towards me all the time (his ex girlfriend turned into a lesbian so he has issues with that)... he blames me for things that don't even exist.. he calls me when I go to the store, or anywhere... the list goes on.

 

I mean, I have so many things I can say but I'll stop here. I feel like a prisoner in my own home and I have absolutely 100% NO

IDEA how to end up because.......... here it comes....... "I love him and I feel sorry for him."

 

But I know deep down that I'm much happier without him. I'm stuck in a situation that I never saw coming!!!! I tried breaking up with him twice but he reeled me back in with pathetic comments like, "deep down inside you really are an evil person" and "you want me to live in my truck??" and that list goes on and on...

 

I suggested couples counseling and he agreed but the day of the session he freaked out and told me that as a man he will not go. I went to 2 sessions and then he got extremelllllllllly angry at me and told me that I needed to stop. So I did.

 

I used to always be the girl that told my friends to leave guys like this, never ever ever ever ever ever evvvvvvvver did I see this coming! I can't believe I'm in a situation that I swore I'd never be in.

 

One day (when things were good) he told me that he has a lump in his "manhood" that he noticed a long time ago and he has been afraid t's cancer and he hasn't done anything about it. I tried ooooooooooo many times to get him to go to the Dr., but he kept utting it off and refusing to. So finally I dropped it. Well, the time I broke up with him, that was another one of his excuses -- he atually said to me, "You're gonna leave me, knowing that I could have

cancer and it might be deadly???"

 

I was blown away that he brought that up. That subject hadn't even been mentioned in MONTHS!

 

He calls me a drunk. He constantly tells me that the only reason we fight is because I am "no longer allowed to go out drinking with my friends." That's right. Since we have been together, I don't go out for drinks with my friends. I don't call my friends to talk. I don't go to the movies with my brother. BUT NEVER do I complain about not being able to "drink." NEVER.

 

And that argument comes out of his mouth constantly. He calls me a lush and gets mad at me because I get irritated that I never get to spend time with my friends.

 

I have become a complete stranger to myself. Because my boyfriend laughs at me when I tell him that I have changed so much (and tells me that he's the one that's done all the changing) I always feel like maybe he's right. Maybe I'm hallucinating everything? I need to know if the situations I have described really DO sound like

he's "emotionally abusive" or maybe I'm over exaggerating everything?

 

When I tell him that I can't continue this relationship and he gives me another guilt trip, should I feel bad for him and give him a 289374798th chance?

 

I feel bad because I deal with his **** and I continue telling him how much I love him. And I ontinue to apologize when he tells me I've done something wrong. And I continue to tell him that I want to be with him forever. I continue to buy him greeting cards and cute

little "I love you" gifts.

 

I feel like.. if I leave him, I'm the one that screwed everything up. Like, I have been leading him on or something....

[Guest]

Get your ass out of this relationship now!!!!!!! Not meaning to sound mean but it's the cold hard truth.

[District]

this guy is totally not worth it. that is stright up verbal abuse and no should should put up with it. you havent been in this relationship for that long, you should get out while you still can, dont dig this grave any deeper.

 

obviously this guy has no respect for you. break up with him and move on.

[outofdarkness]

Where do I start? I'm 27 years old, I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. We live together. I have completely changed into a person I no longer recognize. He doesn't like my brothers, my best friends.. he doesn't like when I use the phone at all. He constantly calls me "sneaky" and makes lesbian comments towards me all the time (his ex girlfriend turned into a lesbian so he has issues with that)... he blames me for things that don't even exist.. he calls me when I go to the store, or anywhere... the list goes on.

 

I mean, I have so many things I can say but I'll stop here. I feel like a prisoner in my own home and I have absolutely 100% NO

IDEA how to end up because.......... here it comes....... "I love him and I feel sorry for him."

 

But I know deep down that I'm much happier without him. I'm stuck in a situation that I never saw coming!!!! I tried breaking up with him twice but he reeled me back in with pathetic comments like, "deep down inside you really are an evil person" and "you want me to live in my truck??" and that list goes on and on...

 

I suggested couples counseling and he agreed but the day of the session he freaked out and told me that as a man he will not go. I went to 2 sessions and then he got extremelllllllllly angry at me and told me that I needed to stop. So I did.

 

I used to always be the girl that told my friends to leave guys like this, never ever ever ever ever ever evvvvvvvver did I see this coming! I can't believe I'm in a situation that I swore I'd never be in.

 

One day (when things were good) he told me that he has a lump in his "manhood" that he noticed a long time ago and he has been afraid t's cancer and he hasn't done anything about it. I tried ooooooooooo many times to get him to go to the Dr., but he kept utting it off and refusing to. So finally I dropped it. Well, the time I broke up with him, that was another one of his excuses -- he atually said to me, "You're gonna leave me, knowing that I could have

cancer and it might be deadly???"

 

I was blown away that he brought that up. That subject hadn't even been mentioned in MONTHS!

 

He calls me a drunk. He constantly tells me that the only reason we fight is because I am "no longer allowed to go out drinking with my friends." That's right. Since we have been together, I don't go out for drinks with my friends. I don't call my friends to talk. I don't go to the movies with my brother. BUT NEVER do I complain about not being able to "drink." NEVER.

 

And that argument comes out of his mouth constantly. He calls me a lush and gets mad at me because I get irritated that I never get to spend time with my friends.

 

I have become a complete stranger to myself. Because my boyfriend laughs at me when I tell him that I have changed so much (and tells me that he's the one that's done all the changing) I always feel like maybe he's right. Maybe I'm hallucinating everything? I need to know if the situations I have described really DO sound like

he's "emotionally abusive" or maybe I'm over exaggerating everything?

 

When I tell him that I can't continue this relationship and he gives me another guilt trip, should I feel bad for him and give him a 289374798th chance?

 

I feel bad because I deal with his **** and I continue telling him how much I love him. And I ontinue to apologize when he tells me I've done something wrong. And I continue to tell him that I want to be with him forever. I continue to buy him greeting cards and cute

little "I love you" gifts.

 

I feel like.. if I leave him, I'm the one that screwed everything up. Like, I have been leading him on or something....

Ya know, you hear so many stories now days about guys like your's who end up completely losing it and horrible things happen...PLEASE get away from this guy NOW!!! Don't stop to pack, say good bye or clean one last time, just GO!! It will only get worst...Stay safe..I'll pray for you..

[Trialbyfire]

The next time you plan to leave him, make sure your brothers (if they are of age) are with you. This way if he pulls the whining and begging or tries something more, you have your brothers to keep you on the straight and narrow and prevent him from taking any physical action against you, if you refuse to abide by his decision.

 

This guy is poison and he's got you beaten down. Walk away now before you're fully consumed and spat out by this man.

[Guest]

Please get out of this relationship

 

You sound like i did one year ago... i spent 4 years with a man who i loved but also treated me the way you are explaining your man is treating you.

 

He alienated me from my friends, told me i was a party girl, told me i cheated on him, told me i was overweight, and just made me feel insecure and jeolous. i actually started to believe all the crazy f**ed up things he was telling me. I ran away with him for the last 6 months of our relationship to another country...this was the straw that broke my back... against my familys and friends will i went with him anyway because i loved him and i wanted to make it work...i had to find out for myself that this man was bad for me ( even though i knew it all along and everyone was telling me) i didn;t and wouldn't listen to anyone...and neither will you...

 

I came home because he almost killed me one night...literally punching me and ripping out my hair... i was bruised and cut up all over.

the next day he said that... HE CAN"T BELIEVE I MADE HIM DO THAT TO ME

 

Please please dont let this happen to you ...you've only been with him a year and a half...it took me four years of emotional abuse to get away ending in one horrible episode where he physically and mentally scarred me for life.

 

you will never listen to anyone but yourself and you need to find the strength within you to get out if you are not happy

you cannot stay with him because you feel bad for him... are you telling me that he is more important than you??

 

He doesn;t look out for your well-being and he doesnt even love himself... he 's scared and insecure AND YOU CANNOT HELP HIM BELIEVE ME HE WILL NOT EVER CHANGE INTO WHAT YOU SEE HIM AS

 

you are living in a fantasy world ...he is not who you think...there is a wonderful man waiting for you if you get out of this and learn the lesson that YOU ARE WORTH IT

 

i fear for u

[lei66]

Your post has.... STALKER, CONTROL FREAK, PSYCHO, WARNING, DANGER.....written all over it...You need to bail....How many chances are you going to give him? Get away from this loser....He is not going to change...He will drag you down until he has complete control over you...RUN!!!! while you have the chance... don't look back....

[polywog]

I agree with everything everyone else has said. Just want to add that please get Out ASAP and get Counselling, because it will obviously be hard for you to justify leaving, from what I glean from your posts. You need to get others on your side. And get support for your pain and the healthy decision to get away (and believe us, it is). Please take care of yourself, and don't blame yourself, for anything! And keep posting so we know you are OK.