Update

[chryssy83]

Brief History: He broke up with me at Christmas break from university. I was devastated, but I just called him once to see what would happen and then didn't call back. What happened? He kept wanting to talk, I saw someone else for a while, then he asked me to be back with him and I made him show he meant it for several weeks. We got back together near the end of January.

 

Now it's mid-April and things are going really well. He hasn't acted like he regretted it, and he's been a really good boyfriend and made some sacrifices he wouldn't have made before the split for our relationship (it's long distance). I am moving back to my hometown, where he currently lives, in September because I got a new job there. He asked me to live with him, but I said I thought it was better if we had our own places since we haven't lived in the same place for a few years and we aren't married or engaged. He seems cool with that, and I'm really excited.

 

Just wanted to update you all and let you know that I'm glad I let him back in because things are so good. It does happen that people get back together. I don't know the end of our story, but I can say that if you listen to your gut, I believe that can tell you a lot...sometimes it's just hard to separate what you KNOW from what you WISH you knew!!

 

Good night and good luck to all...no matter what it will all be okay and you can be happy in the end if you choose to be (with or without him/her in your life).

 

~Chryssy

[CaliGuy]

Congrats and best of luck. Remember, don't fall back into old habits and make sure he respects you. Without respect there can be no love.

[me1234]

Just wondering, how long after the initial break did it take for him to start contacting you? Was it just friendly contact at first? If so, when/how did it become more than that?

 

I ask b/c my g/f recently left me, and she's maintaining contact. I just don't know how to approach it from here and what to expect. Maybe it's hopeless and she's just being polite, but I would like her back.

[chryssy83]

Well, he started talking to me a few weeks after we broke up. He called every three days or so to see how I was doing/just talk. He seemed to have some internal struggle going on, but whenever things started to get deep (relationshipish talk) I would just say I had to go.

 

He sent me an ipod in the mail as a late Christmas gift.

 

Then I asked if he had seen anyone else. He said yes, and I said I had, too. And he flipped out. Sent me a hateful email, wouldn't answer the phone when I called to see what the heck was going on....so I send an email back that just said he was being crazy and I hoped he'd stop being angry at me for no good reason.

 

Next, he called and asked if he could see me. We met for dinner, and he brought up the possibility of getting back together. This is probably 4 weeks after we started talking again.

 

I told him I didn't know...I needed convincing and he could try. He went out of his way over the next two weeks to try to convince me and we got back together.

 

If she thinks she still has you, there is no reason for her to make a move to change things. The only way to show her she doesn't have you anymore is to make sure that she doesn't, in my opinion.