sumdude Posted April 21, 2007 Share Posted April 21, 2007 Sounds like you're doing a lot better Tony. Keep it up! Man I love Hatteras, one thing though...I proposed to the STBX at the top of the Hatteras lighthouse so don't know when I'll go back there... Might want to consider dropping out of the same game she is in...just a thought.. kind of breaks the contact rules. Link to post Share on other sites
Author big_tony Posted April 21, 2007 Author Share Posted April 21, 2007 I've been there once before but the STBX and I did a "drive-by" so I really didn't get to see the tourist stuff. Sumdude, are you around the OBX area? If so, it would be nice to get to know SOMEONE down here, who's going thru the same thing. I feel a bit better, but I am still missing her. I went to the only 24 hour place last night and picked up a notepad and a blank card to send to her. I haven't filled it out yet, and unsure if I am going to. If I do sent it to her, I am going to drop it in the mail, rather then putting it on her door. what are you gonna do. Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted April 21, 2007 Share Posted April 21, 2007 I've been there once before but the STBX and I did a "drive-by" so I really didn't get to see the tourist stuff. Sumdude, are you around the OBX area? If so, it would be nice to get to know SOMEONE down here, who's going thru the same thing. I feel a bit better, but I am still missing her. I went to the only 24 hour place last night and picked up a notepad and a blank card to send to her. I haven't filled it out yet, and unsure if I am going to. If I do sent it to her, I am going to drop it in the mail, rather then putting it on her door. what are you gonna do. No I live in the D.C. area but have been going to the banks since I was born. You should check out the lighthouse, it's a great walk up those stairs and the view from the top is pretty awesome. Tony, let it all go... no letters, notes, e-mails etc. Write stuff down by hand. Write things but don't send them. Maybe keep a journal or just keep posting here it does about the same thing for you. If she wants to contact you consider it then and decide if you want to put yourself through another roller coaster bump. I working from experience here, the longer my NC goes on the better I'm feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted April 21, 2007 Share Posted April 21, 2007 No I live in the D.C. area but have been going to the banks since I was born. You should check out the lighthouse, it's a great walk up those stairs and the view from the top is pretty awesome. Tony, let it all go... no letters, notes, e-mails etc. Write stuff down by hand. Write things but don't send them. Maybe keep a journal or just keep posting here it does about the same thing for you. If she wants to contact you consider it then and decide if you want to put yourself through another roller coaster bump. I working from experience here, the longer my NC goes on the better I'm feeling. Ditto! You're working against yourself here doing this. Eastern NC BBQ! :love: :love: :love: Damn your hide ~ if I was a man of lesser discipline, I get in my car and drive 13 hours just to get me a plate! Love the Carolinas :love: :love: The seafood, the BBQ, the beaches, the people ~ nothin' but a good time! Link to post Share on other sites
Author big_tony Posted April 22, 2007 Author Share Posted April 22, 2007 Hello All, I think Day 4 has been a real eye opener for me. Day 4: Got up about 9am, got dressed and headed out for breakfast. Ate an awesome meal, finished and went down to the storage unit for clothes. Found some stuff the wife said she wanted several days ago, and put it aside for her. Went back to the house, got ready to head down to Hatteras for the afternoon. Finally departed around 3pm. One of my friends wanted to go to a head shop to see what they had for sale. On the way down, I contimplated getting my nipples pierced again. I removed them shortly after I got them because my STBXW "disliked" them. We went into the headshop, I asked if they did the piercing there, and they said No, but their other location does. We left, headed down to the other location, and I made up my mind to get it done. 2 seconds after arriving, 2 needles later I'm done, and satisfied. We hit the light house even though they were closed, and headed home. We've planned on going out to a bar tonight (for sumdude, Kelly's) I got all dressed up (haven't done it in a while, and felt really good being complimented by my friends helped the self esteem issue totally) and removed all my facial hair (STBXW would frown on that) and left for the bar. Instantly, when we got there, I felt akward. I walked in, and my friend told me that I was getting looks from woman. This felt good. NOW FOR THE FUN PART (REALITY HITS) We were playing pool, and someone asked me to go to the bar and get them a drink. My friend and I were walking towards the bar, and some random guy, gets right in my face and said "Why are you looking at my wife" and instantly we're about to get into a brawl. Before I knew it, my friend is holding me back along with 3 other bouncers, and he has his friends holding him back too. I walk away like a man, and go outside like a man. I Sat in the car, and I watched the bouncers throw him and entourage out of the bar/club. I thought about the entire situation, and came to the realization that the situation that I was just in, was very similar to the situation that I put myself in w/ this guy I thought she was seeing. What a mother f'er I have been, and I need to change, and if I don't change, then I am in for a very rough time with women, and with myself PERIOD. Needless to say, that ruined my night. Not because of the jackass that started a fight with me, but because I got to see what I could turn into if I don't address my issues, quickly. And, I also got to understand that what I did to my STBX's friend was dead wrong, and the beginnings of a very unhealthy behavior. This happened for a reason, and I am glad it did. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted April 22, 2007 Share Posted April 22, 2007 I've done my twenty in the Marine Corps, been all over the world, meet people from all over the glode, grown up in Alabama where women will go for your azz! They don't play. I know some bad dudes from South Philly, and the Southside of Chicgo. and from the Bronx in NYNY! Guys from the gettos and the wrongside of LA, and guys from the burbs. But I'm here to tell you! The guys you don't want to f**k with? Are those crazy azz Moosecats from the Carolinas! Them SOB's don't care if the sun don't shine! With them? It either f**k, fight or go for your gun! Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted April 22, 2007 Share Posted April 22, 2007 One part of your problem is PTSD ~ Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. Dude! Your not in prison anymore, but your dealing with life as though you still are. In part you've been instionalized~! Its time to catch the bus to Mexico. (Shawshank Redemition) Link to post Share on other sites
Author big_tony Posted April 22, 2007 Author Share Posted April 22, 2007 Gunny, I've never been to prison (thank god) just short stints in the county. (longest was 15 days straight) Pls define dealing w/ my life as though I am. Link to post Share on other sites
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