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Update: Should I have let him go?


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loquaciousl

Hi LSers:

 

Some of you may have been following my post about the guy I was dating for a month or so who had cheated on his last girlfriend and said he was interested in me and "taking it slow". I was wondering if I had done the right thing by emailing him and telling him that I wasn't interested in casual relationships and that while I'd enjoyed my time with him that it was hard b/c I was liking him.

 

He called me last night and basically said he didn't like how the last convo we'd had had ended (he was saying something to me that sounded contrite and obligatory). He said he felt obligated to call me (although I never put pressure on him) and that he was in "a selfish place" and that he didnt want the pressures of a relationship. He also said that he thought I was nice and sweet and that he liked me but that his last relationship (where he had cheated on his gf) caused him to have issues and that he was f'd up in the head from it. He also said we had "subtle personality differences" that wouldn't bode well for a relationship, romantically. Of course I had no choice at the time but to listen, but I got off the phone feeling good because I had sensed as much from him, that he wasn't emotionally able to be with someone. I also told him he might not want to lead people on to think he was ready for something when he wasn't. He then said sorry b/c he felt that he had "dragged me around" a bit. I am SO GLAD I listened to my gut on this one b/c I know what I want and he wasn't it. No harm, no foul. I think, however, he used the "we're just not compatible," and the "the honeymoon was over" b/c we had had a weird convo on the phone as a reason to jump ship. I think he got scared and found that the easiest thing to do was bail. But let me reiterate, thank God, I knew things were how they were and stood up for myself. Another lesson learned, so yahooo!

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