"communicating" Effectivley With Men

[SouthernT]

I come here alot to learn more about dating and men. I thought this would be a pretty good thread to start and would answer alot of questions and problems that ladies on here are having. (Like everybody does) So, my next question is:

1) Men, what is the most sucessful way to communicate with you?

2) And what is the best way to communicate with you to get the response that we (women) need and want?

3) Is it best to keep the words "feelings" & "emotions" completely out of the picture when talking to you?

4) The girls that you ended up in deep relationships with, what was she doing RIGHT as far as communication with you as a GUY that made you feel comfortable in taking things to the next level with her?

5) What type of communication is a complete TURN OFF in a guys head?

 

Guys your input would be greatly appreciated!! Any LADIES that have already figured this out, PLEASE feel free to help the lost souls in here!!

[tanbark813]

1. It's going to vary from guy to guy. Mainly, avoid things listed in #5.

 

2. See #1.

 

3. No, you don't need to avoid those, just remember that your feelings aren't more important than ours just because you're female.

 

4. Knowing how to actually listen to what I'm saying and not interrupting me in the middle of a sentence.

 

5. "Well if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you," is supremely annoying, as is, "I didn't tell you because I knew you'd be mad!" Another annoying thing is asking a question and then getting mad at the answer. Doing that often enough will just make a guy shut down and not want to talk to you.

[SouthernT]

1. It's going to vary from guy to guy. Mainly, avoid things listed in #5.

 

2. See #1.

 

3. No, you don't need to avoid those, just remember that your feelings aren't more important than ours just because you're female.

 

4. Knowing how to actually listen to what I'm saying and not interrupting me in the middle of a sentence.

 

5. "Well if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you," is supremely annoying, as is, "I didn't tell you because I knew you'd be mad!" Another annoying thing is asking a question and then getting mad at the answer. Doing that often enough will just make a guy shut down and not want to talk to you.

Thanks Tan! That helps alot. Anybody else out there?

[allina]

I know many men who absolutely hate being asked "What's wrong?" a million times because they're trying to just space out or watch tv.

 

What a man says should also be taken at face value more often, women read too much in to simple statements.

 

I'm not a guy but that's my view.

[tanbark813]

I know many men who absolutely hate being asked "What's wrong?" a million times because they're trying to just space out or watch tv.

 

What a man says should also be taken at face value more often, women read too much in to simple statements.

 

Yes, definitely.

[DanielMadr]

I come here alot to learn more about dating and men. I thought this would be a pretty good thread to start and would answer alot of questions and problems that ladies on here are having. (Like everybody does) So, my next question is:

1) Men, what is the most sucessful way to communicate with you?

2) And what is the best way to communicate with you to get the response that we (women) need and want?

3) Is it best to keep the words "feelings" & "emotions" completely out of the picture when talking to you?

4) The girls that you ended up in deep relationships with, what was she doing RIGHT as far as communication with you as a GUY that made you feel comfortable in taking things to the next level with her?

5) What type of communication is a complete TURN OFF in a guys head?

 

Guys your input would be greatly appreciated!! Any LADIES that have already figured this out, PLEASE feel free to help the lost souls in here!!

 

1) More sincerity and straight talk.

2) Sincerely and to the point.

3) Not necessarily. 'I have feeling for you' is the best what man can hear. When he is not attracted to you it will push him away to stay out of trouble but then you have your answer at least.

 

Dont make him your emotional tampon either, harshly said. He is not a shrink to cope with your mixed emotions and feelings. It hurts him. On other hand its OK to make him part of the solution. We hate to hear you have a problem but you refusing our help, advice. We tend to rationaly solve the problems and we cant understand why are you OK only to talk about it....thats why we offer solutions and you should accept them

 

4) Her head on my shoulder is the best signal. Life teaches you early not to listen to what people and especially women say but to watch for their actions.

 

5) Turn off is: no communication at all, emotional blackmail, guess games, arrogant or selfish statements or demands, too much sarcasm, patronizing, lies (white and black), emotional diarrhoea, drama, uptight statements and negative motivating like nagging

[DanielMadr]

I know many men who absolutely hate being asked "What's wrong?" a million times because they're trying to just space out or watch tv.

 

What a man says should also be taken at face value more often, women read too much in to simple statements.

 

I'm not a guy but that's my view.

 

Very good insight.