UPDATE: I hate myspace. I hate my weakness!!

[Icantletgo]

*warning: long post*

As you all know from my previous posts...my ex who cheated on me and wants to be friends now has hurt me yet again.

 

 

On his myspace profile (where the girl he left me for is his number 1) there is a section where it asks "who you'll like to meet", well this is what he wrote:

 

"i already met her. she's my best friend and she changed my life" then he put her initials.

 

I can't stop crying. I just can't. He knew I have access to his page. And i can't breathe. I'm such a f*cking idiot for "being his friend" and for buying him his bday gift!!!!!

 

i'm so damn weak. I end up texting him nonstop and this is what went on:

 

me: i'

m

sorry i couldn't change or affect your life like she did. i just read what you put on your myspace. that is truely how you feel. leave me alone. please. i am nothing to you. leave me alone.go wait for your best friend. i've given you all i can give an dyou take and take and it's still not enough. sorry i coudln't be enough for you. you dont know if you would ever be

w

/ me again.

so

don't. let me be someone elses everything. cause i'

m

NOTHING to you.

 

HIM: i knew that was gonna happen. i didn't type that. she did when she came over. i'

m

tired of you always getting upset. good bye

 

ME: the man i fell in love

w

/ loved me and only me. i can't be here for you cause you dont feel the same and everything i do for you you take for granted. you are a selfish liar. i'

m

not going to be an idiot who is by your side holding your hand until she decides she wants you back or you find another girl. you are using me.

so

confess to that and leave me alone. my heart can't break anymore i just want you to remember that i tried my best. i was willing to forgive and willing to hurt. but you gave nothing back cause you knew you didn't have to. i'

m

not upset i'

m

HURT. i know you. i know your lies.

so

dont lie to yourself about me.

 

him: believe whatever you want and whatever makes you breathe. i'

m

sorry that i've made you feel thsi way. your wrong about everything but i'

m

not gonna try and convince you anymore. go breathe. she's just my friend! you made an impact too. you know that. you were my first everything

 

me: I'

m

sorry but it hurts. i thurts cause in my heart you're my one and only. it just hurts that you let her write that. you knew i'd read it. it hurts that you lie. you dont need to lie

 

 

I'm so sad and hurt. I dunno what to do. Thanks for reading all this if you did!

[neeser68]

You can let go of this guy. First thing, stay off of his myspace page. Ask yourself why do you want to love somebody who doesn't love you back?

You know if you talk to him, look at his myspace page, text him or however you may have contact with him, it's going to hurt. What would you do if one of your best friends hurt you like this guy did? Would you put up with that? Hell no you wouldn't.

You are letting your mind have way too much control over this idiot. If he couldn't see what he had then forget him. I know a million people have told you this, but if it was meant to be, it would have been No matter how much you sit there and rehash the relationship, it's not going to bring him back. And why would you want him?

Now I know you are thinking. What the hell do I know? I've been there and the best thing I ever did was get over the guy. Sure it took a very long time to do it, but in the process I got to know myself and what I wanted and I didn't settle.

Why you are wasting your precious time thinking about this jerk, you are blocking any good man that could be out there for you.

I don't know you, but I can bet that you are a beautiful intelligent strong and resisiliant woman. It's going to be hard, you will have your good times and your bad times in the process of healing, but it's going to be ok. Your heart will heal and it will have a little more room for the better guys who comes along. Just take your time and don't rush it.

[Icantletgo]

the thing is. I do want to let go. But i didn't want to let go through a series of drawn out emotional TEXT MESSAGES. I wanted to let go of him on MY terms and where I called the shots. From the text messages it seems like HE WON like HE has the ultimate power.

 

I know i'm petty to think this...but dont you think so??? Or no??

[District]

this guys is a jerk! but at the same time i think you pestering him isnt going to help your situation.

 

bottom line: he cheated on you!!! stop making him feel like he's the center of your world. stop txt-ing him and stop going to his myspace page. by going to his page youre only pouring salt on your wound

[Trialbyfire]

the thing is. I do want to let go. But i didn't want to let go through a series of drawn out emotional TEXT MESSAGES. I wanted to let go of him on MY terms and where I called the shots. From the text messages it seems like HE WON like HE has the ultimate power.

 

I know i'm petty to think this...but dont you think so??? Or no??

Then empower yourself. Walk away before you allow him to damage you any further. You call the shots when you take your life back and kick him out of it.

[Icantletgo]

is it wrong that i regret sounding like a nagging/whining woman??? I want him to remember me for the good, not the weak points like today's texts.

[Trialbyfire]

Then pull yourself together and walk away. No more contact. Start to focus on you. You matter. You don't need his approval. You need to approve of yourself.

[Icantletgo]

I seriously think this is it. Other times he would beg to talk to me and i'll give him hope in the text but I'll stop texting him or hang up on him.

 

But this time...HE didn't text me back and HE'S angry. I feel so weak. I needed this NC but I wanted to be the one who initated it. I feel soo weak and I wanna cry. wait..i am crying!!!!

 

I know you guys have been through this and so can I. It's so hard. I knew this had to come..but not this way.

 

I will be strong though. seriously all of you guys are awesome. They should have a loveshackforum reunion!

[2ndIINone]

wait a minute.... this guy cheated on YOU and you're beggin' and whinin' for him to see the good in you???

 

Did he NOT cheat on you? Did his cheating NOT effect you in anyway? Did his cheating make him seem like a more desireable person? More attractive???? Cause it seems to me like YOU would give anything to be with this guy.

 

HE didn't text me back and HE'S angry.

 

he's angry with YOU??? Who gives a shi!!!???? you shouldn't.

[Icantletgo]

the thing is. I know he cheated on me and I know that i coudl never trust him again.

 

he's below me. i know he is. he doesnt' deserve me. I know all of this.

 

I just wanted him to regret ever hurting me and ever breaking up with me. I just want that to happen. But i guess it never will cause I let him use me for the past 3 months and then HE was the one who officially started the NC.

 

I just want him to regret ever leaving me. But he won't cause he's in love w/ someone else and she "changed his life".

[District]

is it wrong that i regret sounding like a nagging/whining woman??? I want him to remember me for the good, not the weak points like today's texts.

 

he'll remember you for the good only if you stop your nagging/whining... if not he'll remember you as this nagging/whining/fussy girl. do nc and let him be... move on with your life, you can do so much better.

[Icantletgo]

do you think my texts today were naggy?? MAN I HATE TEXTS. once you send them you dont get 'em back! ****TTTTT.

[District]

honestly.... *looks down at shoe* they were a little naggy. but i understand why they were, you were hurt and upset (i am so much worse than you when i get pissed off at a SO). so... the lession today: dont send txt!!!! besides they take forever.

[Island Girl]

Ugh!

 

This was TODAY?

[Trialbyfire]

Stop it. Why do you care what a loser like that thinks of you? He's selfish and morally bankrupt. He's no prize. He's got major issues and has caused you to have major baggage.

 

Yes, you did sound naggy and whiny. Now pull yourself together and stop contacting him. Your emotions are raw right now. Keep your distance.

[2ndIINone]

he's below me. i know he is. he doesnt' deserve me. I know all of this.

 

then WHY are you showing him that you are bothered by his recent actions?

 

I just wanted him to regret ever hurting me and ever breaking up with me. I just want that to happen.

 

It will NEVER happen if you keep reminding him that you are hurt hurt hurt by his actions.

 

Let me put things into perspective from a guys point of view... HIS point of view. Sorry if it hurts.... you NEED to hear the truth.

 

"OMG... I cheated on her, I broke up with her... I initiated no contact and this girl is STILL sweatin' me.... stalkin' my myspace page.... sweatin' my new girlfriend.... Geeez, I got her sooooo wrapped."

 

"Oh look, another text from her.... she won't give up..... she looooooooves me.... she's sweatin' me bad..... so I'll let her sweat a little more by not answering her text... "

 

"Wooow... I cheated on this girl.... I did the ultimate dirty deed and totally disrespected her and she's STILL wants me in her life...."

 

Sorry, if that hurt a bit... but you have to see how you come across to him.

 

He disrespected you bad by cheating on you.... most likely because he didn't respect you in the first place.... this totally beat up on your self asteem.... and now YOU are losing your own self respect by contacting him.

 

Tell the truth.... has contacting him, calling him, texting him, viewing his page actually HELPED you in anyway, shape or form?????

[Island Girl]

I have said this over and over again on other threads -- texts do not belong in relationships!

 

Aside from -- "hey I'm running late" IF in a situation, like a meeting, where you CAN NOT CALL --- they do not belong as any form of communication in relationships.

[District]

this guy wont ever regret what he did to you, he cheated on you and then HE broke up with YOU!!

 

this guy is such an a**

[Trialbyfire]

Why would he? She continues to feed his ego by hanging on. She should be walking away and leaving him to his own miserable existence.

[EricOnTheWeb]

Stop it. Why do you care what a loser like that thinks of you? He's selfish and morally bankrupt. He's no prize. He's got major issues and has caused you to have major baggage.

 

Yes, you did sound naggy and whiny. Now pull yourself together and stop contacting him. Your emotions are raw right now. Keep your distance.

 

I agree fully....

 

Honey,you have to MAKE yourself stop going to his Myspace page...the more you read the more you'll get upset... Put yours on private and request him to delete you(that will bug him believe me)

 

The key word was when he said you "were" his everything. It seems he has moved on....you need to do the same.. Yes I know...this is EXTREMELY tough...such good friends once....going to miss them so badly...it hurts big....its sad.....I know....Honey you'll just be making yourself more and more upset over this guy if you keep emailing and texting... (((((hugs))))

[Icantletgo]

I know. I just went to work out with some friends and I feel better.

 

All i wanted from him was his love and his fidelity. and I have none of that now. I know he won't contact me anymore (i think i annoyed him with all those texts) but i know it's for the best.

 

It is for the best. My eyes are swollen from crying...and he's probably gonna get some from her tonight.

 

I'm just sad that I gave everything to him and it's still not enough. I'm 24 and I'm just scared that "all the good ones are taken".

 

I'm not ready for a relationship AT ALL. But it would be nice to date to get my mind off of him.

 

I'm sorry i was so weak guys!!! you guys always give me support..then I go and do this today!

[EricOnTheWeb]

I know. I just went to work out with some friends and I feel better.

 

All i wanted from him was his love and his fidelity. and I have none of that now. I know he won't contact me anymore (i think i annoyed him with all those texts) but i know it's for the best.

 

It is for the best. My eyes are swollen from crying...and he's probably gonna get some from her tonight.

 

I'm just sad that I gave everything to him and it's still not enough. I'm 24 and I'm just scared that "all the good ones are taken".

 

I'm not ready for a relationship AT ALL. But it would be nice to date to get my mind off of him.

 

I'm sorry i was so weak guys!!! you guys always give me support..then I go and do this today!

 

 

Thats good that you have friends to go with and work out,friends are a awesome asset...keep good friends always.

 

No you don't!...don't ever say you're sorry for being weak....I'm a guy that works on cars and races/flies planes:eek: I work on the roof...and a typical country boy:confused: ...Let me tellya though,this past year this love/relationship thing REALLY REALLY REALLY made me weak,so weak and nothing but weak.

 

It's the best thing you can do,just dump your feelings and talk about it. People on this website will listen to you and try our best to steer you in the right direction.. Another thing is you're really young and you have time:) Just keep your friends close,and keep busy,have fun... Be your own person and be happy in your own skin,after that then maybe you'll find the person that was meant for you...

 

I am in councelling for my feelings I had over my life and such ,and one of the things he told me is that I need to "challenge" myself. What that means is to "ween" myself away from the things that were depressing me... What YOU can do right now,is challenge yourself to STAY AWAY from his myspace account and don't email him or nothing. This is hard and it is a challenge,but try it out.....Tell yourself for 1 month or two,You'll NOT have anything to do with his Myspace or emails...nothing..NO contact. Challenge yourself and if you want,put the computer in storage,and stay away from the internet..

 

Trust me...You'll start to feel a TON better,if you can keep this promise to yourself... I did it and I do still have feelings,but I'm so much happier than just a couple of months ago...

 

Also,having friends to hang out with will help you during this time,I had a loving family to get me through. Loveshack is great also for friends except we are only words on a screen,which sucks,but what ya gonna do? LOL.. Yeah keep busy, hang out with friends and try to not keep going snooping in his stuff... If you keep snooping in whatever he's up to...you'll just keep hurting yourself..

 

Also I know I may not make to much sence,but I'm trying to!

I wish you lots of luck...

 

(Eric)

[Icantletgo]

Eric you are right.

 

By checking his myspace account and seeing what he writes about her and seeing the little comments she writes to him I am just killing myself.

 

I guess i had this weird idea in my mind that by hanging out with him he'l see how great i was and miss me and watn me again. and yes, he was a cheater but i still love him.

 

Things in life either make you or break you. this is breaking me. But i need to be strong. I've shown him how weak i am and I dont want that.

 

I want to move on and show him everything he's lost.

 

I just wish he could see what he has lost. But he won't. He's moved on and in love and I'm here...alone, crying, and waiting.

 

I pray I have strength.

[Island Girl]

All i wanted from him was his love and his fidelity.

 

He is lacking and can't truly give that to anyone.

 

It is for the best. My eyes are swollen from crying...and he's probably gonna get some from her tonight.

 

You are mourning the loss of what might have been -- not what actually was. In truth he is a lying cheating scumbag. It would have come out later. Be thankful you saw his true colors NOW.

 

I'm just sad that I gave everything to him and it's still not enough. I'm 24 and I'm just scared that "all the good ones are taken".

 

He isn't one of the good ones.

 

I'm not ready for a relationship AT ALL. But it would be nice to date to get my mind off of him.

 

Utilize your friends. Move on. Really move on. That means no checking myspace either!

 

I'm sorry i was so weak guys!!! you guys always give me support..then I go and do this today!

 

Just remember how this feels and don't do it again. The more you distance yourself and build yourself up the more you will see what your life can be without the ongoing drama.

[Icantletgo]

I pray for strength that this is it.

 

I want this to be it. I need to move on. He already has. I need to leave strong. I dont want the ending to be HIM leaving me AGAIN.

 

I need to be the strong person I am again. He's broken me like no one else has ever.

 

Everyone who isn't doing NC. Please learn from my mistakes.