Too insecure?

[Guest]

I'm currently involved with a guy that I've been seeing for a year and a half. We've been living together for a little over a year.

 

When we first got together, he told him that he would marry me with in a year. Now, it's well past that time, and marriage is still not something we ever talk about.

 

When I bring it up, he accuses me of being "pushy."

 

In most walks of our relationship, it seems like we're already married. We have a dog together, mutual friends, and we both shop, pay the bills, etc.

 

It seems also like the romance has gone out of the relationship. He's really over weight and has extreme health problems that are centered around his weight problem (i.e. diabetes, bouts of pancreantitus, and gout). He's also nearly crippled. He can't walk or stand for more then 15 minutes at a time.

 

Sometimes I feel that the only thing in life that he doesn't half ass is his job and playing dungeons and dragons with his friends. It seems like he feels like our relationship is a security blanket- by that I mean something comfortable.

Often, I feel like I'm put to the side because he knows I'll always be there.

 

Unfortunately, I'm in a position where I can't support myself. I work part-time (my job pays decently) but I also am going back to school to be a teacher. Due to some past debts, my bills are very steep and I can barely afford to take care of myself sometime.

 

He knew that was the situation when we got together, and seems fine with it. I just wish sometimes that I could leave him and find someone better. I'd love to be with someone who can actually be physical, like taking walks, or hikes. Not just someone who sits around all the time.

 

I'd like to be with someone who actually cares about their health, enough to make serious changes. I recently stopped smoking, and now I walk four miles a day. It would be nice to have a partner that I could get in shape with.

 

Am I asking too much out of life, and relationships in general? Sometimes, I feel like I am.