Here's my full story:

[Tomcat33]

Exactly!! My exMM can go into the cesspit of wishy washy men. His wife was pregnant when he embarked on an A with me, and he lied thru his teeth about it. Good guy huh. Good riddance is more like it!!!

 

Don't worry TC, there is more than enough man bashing done on here.

 

 

LOL I don't doubt it!!! I just don't see the point of "bashing" at all. IT's one thing to have an opinion on a situation that may be in disagreement with others it's another to attack one party in particular due to one's own personal issues. I find that in a lot of these threads people are inclined to attack and blame OW for their immoral behaviour, that oftentimes the CS's actions get lost in the shuffle, directly or indirectly we absolve him from his responsibility in initiating an A.

 

You know stores are filled with millions of great things I can just pop into my purse and walk our of there without paying for it. There are a lot of things I could bring home that would be of real use to me that I didn't have to spend a penny on. Question is, do I want to jeopardize my intact criminal record and my freedom to risk getting caught taking something that though tempting to take for free, I should be paying for?

And if I do take something and get caught and called in to the police station what am I going to say in my defence "well you see officer those purfume bottles looked so damn good and easy to take, it's the purfumes bottle for sitting there on the shelf and making it so easy for me to take it. So can I be dismissed now?"

 

Freedom Now

 

So true wishy washy men are a real turn off. Maybe that's why it's been so easy for me as of lately to talk myself out of wanting anything more from my exMM. Granted, people change their minds, feelings change nothing is certain in life, things do change...but when it comes to involving other people's lives and feelings into one's own personal indecisiveness, you have to act quick you have to decide what you want and stick to your guns because opportunity's door to find one's own happiness does not stay open for ever.

[Freedom Now]

You are absolutely right.

 

My life was not for his entertainment. And he had his chance to be a real man and live authentically: to be honest. And he squandered that opportunity. And he lost my respect in the process.

 

I choose to live my life authentically. He didn't. And that's HIS problem, not mine.

 

I'm out. And he's never getting into my life again.

 

And I am perfectly fine with that.

 

You hurt me once, shame, shame on you.

Hurt me twice....shame, shame on me.

[lynraye]

I feel so bad for you. He

I am so happy I found this site. I becaminvolved with a married man about 14 months ago. I meet him as I was interviewing for a job. Well, I didnt get the job but I got his number and a lunch date.

 

Readers Digest version: We fell in love. He hasnt left his wife because she has a severe depression problem and with the kids so close to leaving the home and heading off to college he doesnt think it would be in their best interest.

 

I have never worried about her finding out since she has been known to have delusional thoughts and no one would ever really give her the attention on the subject.

 

I never thought I would find myself in this situtation but yesterday I found out I was pregnant. I have called my doctor. To get examined. But I havent told my MM yet.

 

He has so much on his plate right now. One child is graduating and heading off to college this year and the other next year. Plus his wife has really been off the rocker lately. They are unable to keep her on the meds and are trying to prolong hospitalizing her.

 

The plan has always been that the kids would be off to school , she would be hospitalized and he would start divorce proceedings. Everyone would understand that this would be for the best.

 

But now I am having his baby. I would love to share every moment of this experience with him. I just am not sure how to approach him with the idea of leaving now.

 

I hope someone can help me work this out before I have the talk with him. I really would like to bounce some ideas around.

[Tomcat33]

You are absolutely right.

 

My life was not for his entertainment. And he had his chance to be a real man and live authentically: to be honest. And he squandered that opportunity. And he lost my respect in the process.

 

 

So so true and without respect one cannot hope to have a successful relationship.

[Freedom Now]

I think that without respect, there IS no relationship.

 

To me, that is the most basic building block for a truly healthy relationship. Without it, you have nothing.

[Can'tGiveUp]

Stole =to take without permission or legal right ,to share or give when it is not expected or when people are not watching.

 

This young lady stole some ones husband she had no legal right to him and did not have permission from the wife to go out with him, nor to discuss very personal intimate conversations with him,nor develop a connection with him or start a relationship with him. But her "choice "her body.

 

 

I wish I had known my H was my property. Would have been cheaper to sell him on Ebay, than to get divorced.

[Topper]

Depression does not cause people to be delusional. She might have a mental disorder along with being depressed.

I Hope your man has a great job and one healthy solid income. Sending kids to college isn't cheap. Prolonged hospitalization also isn't cheap. Most health plans won't cover prolonged stays in a mental institution. Soon or later the benefits will run out. Top all that off with a new baby he will have to I hope your prepared for some major financial problems.

Your also going to have to deal with his kids. Do you think that they are going to be OK with dad putting their Mother away and having a new 1/2 Brother or Sister. I would not count on any warm and fuzzy holiday Dinners any time soon.

 

A man that I did business with passed away about a year ago. his first wife was in the Hospital dieing of Cancer when he met a woman and had an affair. It took the wife about a year to pass on. a few weeks after her funeral he told his late teens early adult kids they were going to have a new 1/2 brother. His kids were so angry that he was having an affair while their Mother was dieing that they never spoke to him in 20 years. It will not take long for his kids to put 2 and 2 together. Are you prepared for that? Is he?

[reservoirdog1]

your EXACT words: "Get an abortion"

 

You didn't answer my question, which was "How exactly does my post take away her right to choose?"

 

Yes, I did tell her to get an abortion. What in the world is there to stop her from telling me to stuff my opinion and advice where the sun don't shine, and go to full term with the pregnancy?

 

You seem to be confusing the idea of somebody giving their opinion with the removal of the recipient's freedom of choice. The poster came here for advice and opinions, and I gave mine. So what is your problem?

[sb129]

I wish I had known my H was my property. Would have been cheaper to sell him on Ebay' date=' than to get divorced.[/quote'] :lmao:

 

Would you have got much more than the sellers fees for him tho?

 

Off topic, but remember that woman who sold her husbands sports car on ebay for £1 as revenge. Priceless.

[Unforgetable77]

ok i'd like to put my point across but i view this with an open mind.....2 and a half years ago i found out that my H had been having an affair with a very good friend of mine, i had been suspicious for a while before that but needed to give them enough rope to hang themselves

i found out the truth in may 2005 3 weeks before my due date for my 5th child emotions and hormones running high i could no longer take his lies, In january that year she had had a child which in my heart i knew was his, when i did find out the truth i wish i hadn't, its right what they say 'the truth hurts' and god it does....... the child was and is his!!! i cannot describe the hell i went through, i was completely devastated not so much by the affair, it was the child!!! i asked my self how on earth could anyone hate a child?? a child that was as innocent as i was, a child that didnt ask to be brought here but yet i couldn't stop these feelings, my world, my life my safety had been ripped apart, i nearly lost my unborn baby because my body went into shock and started to shut down, i was hurt, angry, totally beside myself, i started to question my own sanity but even tho i was hurt i still loved him, my initial feeling of pain soon turned to anger and bitterness.... i wanted revenge and the only way to do it was fight for my marriage which i did and of course i won!!! the wife always does but not without regret nearly 2 years on i am now in the last stage of my divorce in november of last year i plucked up the courage to send him packing, my marriage was never the same i was born a fighter and fight i did but now i realise i was fighting a battle already lost, once the trust in a relationship has gone then from personal experience i dont think its worth fighting for.... i wish now i had let him go because where is he now??? yep with her and good luck to the both of them cause they are going to need it....... but now is the open minded bit i am now in a relationship with a MM so i can see it all from both sides

[Unforgetable77]

i would also like to wish u good luck on whatever u decide to do but u need to be aware that u may have a fight on ur hands...even if she finds out about the affair, or the baby it doesnt mean she isnt going to want him anymore even if it is just to get back at u...i'm not here to judge anyone as in so far from innocent myself, i personally don't believe in abortion so for me that wouldn't be an option but each to thier own totally

[vanilla chai]

For real? You're kiddin' me right?

 

Thats the first thing I thought too.

[vanilla chai]

I know she has depression problems since I know a few people that are friendly with her. She use to be a pre-k teacher but lost her job for not showing up to work and days that she did she would become delusional towards the children. Thinking they were making fun or her , etc...

 

She is on disability and her teachers license was revoked.

 

As far as someone mentioning an abortion. This child was created out of love and passion. Not a mistake or any regret. We are planning on being together.

 

I have thought about calling and bringing the relationship out in the open to her. Giving her the extra push in the direction she is taking, but I dont want anyone finding out I did it.

 

I was planning on telling him about the baby after the doctors appt and I know how far along ect.

 

 

Go on tell this so called delusional woman that your sleeping with her husband and you'll really see her go off.

 

So what happens to the wife after dear old hubby commits her,then divorces her to be with you? where is the vomit smiley when you need one.

[rdnkgrl31]

JustBecause, first off, you should NOT call his W and tell her anything about your R w/ her H. If she is already depressed, this will only make things worse. It isn't her fault that he is w/ her and not you. So why would you want to be cruel like that?

 

Another thing, you need to plan your future w/ this child,w/ or w/out a M. It can be done, and at least if you prepare yourself that he may not be as happy as you, you will be at least somewhat emotionally prepared to handle this baby. Do you have any other children or is this your first? Maybe you already answered that, and if so I apologize.

 

I am a single mom of 2 boys, it is the hardest thing I have ever done. Yet it can be done, w/out a man!

 

Men can say alot of things that they would love to have a child, yada yada, but when REALITY hits, it's a totally different story. Just remember that no matter what he says or does, this child will always be your responsibility. Hopefully not alone, but prepare yourself in case it is. It's tough!

 

Aren't you concerned that he may think you did this to trap him? Single guys think that, imagine how a MM will think. You just sound so euphoric and it doesn't seem like you are thinking realistically.

 

All in all, I hope it all works out for the best. I wish you luck..

[Izzar]

I don't believe a word of this!

[sb129]

Yeah funny how the Op hasn't been back...

[Izzar]

Yeah funny how the Op hasn't been back...

 

I know, I know. She's at the ob/gyn.

[Babybird]

Yeah... I don't 'get' why so many MM/cheaters don't protect themselves better.

 

To begin with, in the modern age that's one of the FIRST questions they'll be asked by their betrayed wife when they get busted... "Did you use a condom?" And with paternity laws being what they are, I also just don't understand why they'd take this kind of pregnancy risk.

 

This guy is screwed. His adultery is going to become public fodder. There's no way he can hide it now. His bank account is going to be sucked clean. He's gonna be the Grandpa-Dad at PTA meetings and soccer games, and even his own kids are gonna be rolling their eyes at him like he's some kind of randy old goat who can't keep his pecker in his pants.

 

His "Golden Years" are shot to hell. And for what?... the lack of a functioning condom?

 

Ahhh well, I suppose if a guy's just GOT to dance, he's eventually gonna have to pay the band.

 

Granted, this guy should've taken better precautions but seriously, his golden years shot to hell? Let's look at this from the non-A age related point of view. My mom had 6 kids. The last one at age 39, she turned forty a 10 days later. The oldest was 20 when the youngest was born. Even if this guy was 45 so what? That doesn't mean that people are going to think he's too old to have a child. There are so many people that are waiting until later in life to have children. Some even having their first at 38 or 39. Plus who gives a sh*t about HIS golden years? Not me. He is just as responsible, or irresponsible, as she is.

 

Back to the A point of view: Even if the condom broke, even if she was on the pill, nothing will always work 100% except for abstinence. Even a vasectomy can have a spontaneous reconnection. He shouldn't be stickin his thang in placed it doesn't belong with out planning for little mishaps like these. Even if she trapped him...it doesn't take a genius to figure out that some women, especially in A' s will do anything to get the guy. If I were a guy having an A, I would be scared as hell she would try and trap me. Definitely if she was completely in control of the birth control.

 

SO the point is if you are going to cheat then you should use the birth control pill, a condom, spermicide, and a sponge, plus one of the people should be fixed. Wow, does that sound romantic. The child conceived out of that would be out of utter confusion rather than of love and passion.

[JustBecause]

His wife is a lunatic. She pushed me down the escalator at the local mall.

He can have her.

Thank you to LS. You helped me alot in this awful situation. I am greatful.

Again, Thank You.

[whichwayisup]

Well, you knew she was depressed and has a mental illness. She got pushed past her emotional limit and people do things unfortunately due to extreme stress. I am sorry that she pushed you (I hope you're okay), and I'm not defending her attacking you, but I can understand WHY she did it as you were sleeping with her husband and planning on stealing him away from her. She fought back, rightfully so.

 

Good that you are giving up and moving on. You deserve a man who isn't married and a man who can share ALL of him with you, not just bits and pieces.

 

Good luck in life.

[greengoddess]

His wife is a lunatic. She pushed me down the escalator at the local mall.

He can have her.

Thank you to LS. You helped me alot in this awful situation. I am greatful.

Again, Thank You.

 

 

:laugh: what did you expect a hug from her?

Just think you will have to deal with her the next 18 years since you are having HER husbands baby.

[JustBecause]

:laugh: what did you expect a hug from her?

Just think you will have to deal with her the next 18 years since you are having HER husbands baby.

 

GG, you are a snot. I have an appt. to take care of business as far as the preg. is concerned.

[greengoddess]

GG, you are a snot. I have an appt. to take care of business as far as the preg. is concerned.

 

 

:sick:

 

Think long and hard about what you are doing to this baby. You wanted it a few days ago. please don't do anything till you totally calm down and talk to someone.

 

What about mm does he want you to terminate this pregnancy? There are so many women who i am sure would be happy to adopt your baby.

[whichwayisup]

JB, does the MM know about the pregnancy yet? Or are you just going to see the Dr without letting him know?

 

I agree, take a day or two to think things through, right now you are emotional and upset so don't do something that you may regret later on.

[greengoddess]

As far as someone mentioning an abortion. This child was created out of love and passion. Not a mistake or any regret.

 

 

What happened to these thoughts? Please think this through.