Here's my full story:

[puddleofmud]

I agree with the last poster (LucreziaBorgia) as to their advice; as you have chosen to remain pregnant, thus your choices must now be about the sole health and well being of your child, which foremostly includes YOUR health and well-being.

However, just as you have chosen to protect your baby, please understand that the BS must also not be forsaken as to HER health and well-being, as SHE is also human and helpless.

Clinical depression is NOT A CHOICE--it is a very severe illness just as is cancer. Being that she is officially disabled does tell one that this is deadly serious and quite real.

You've no right to make decisions for her or even imagine decisions for her, just as no one else has the right to make decisions about your health or well-being for YOU: her spouse is the one who most likely understands her history and may well be the one she needs the most: medically, emotionally and financially.

Could you respect a person who would leave a person with cancer all alone to fend for themselves?

If YOU had a dibilitating illness would you want a perfect stranger to pop up and insert themselves in to your life?

Just as you wish your pregnancy to be respected you must also respect the complex situation that is about many persons' lives and well-being, which mostly is really none of your business.

What is your business is that you've chosen to have your child--this is entirely your decision and no one should popping up and telling YOU what to do, either!

Apply this to the entire situation:

-MM must take care of his wife

-YOU must take care of YOU and baby

Personally, I wish for you a healthy, gorgeous baby daughter or son!

[reservoirdog1]

Yeah, think of how complicated your life will be. How complicated it will make things for your MM and his W. All of you will just be SO put out....kill the baby.

 

Are you f*cking serious? This is a human being.

 

I don't think there's a point in getting into the whole abortion debate, because we'll never agree. But abortion is legal, and the original poster deserves to have all of her options before her. No more, no less.

[puddleofmud]

Agreed, as in no child is quite as "expected" as one wishes as NO ONE knows what a child will be like.

Too many are surprises and most not born under any golden star.

Children are great gifts and factually, as well as one may parent, they are quite likely to undermine any parenting: children, whether "well produced" (ha!) are their own selves.

Don't bother asking how I know this--it's not pretty!

 

Abortion/killing the baby is never the answer. Who are we to say what kind of life the baby will have....so this is a criteria that determines who should live or die? Very scary.

[Ladyjane14]

I just need to ask, but were you two using birth control and condom broke? Or were you using nothing?

 

Yeah... I don't 'get' why so many MM/cheaters don't protect themselves better.

 

To begin with, in the modern age that's one of the FIRST questions they'll be asked by their betrayed wife when they get busted... "Did you use a condom?" And with paternity laws being what they are, I also just don't understand why they'd take this kind of pregnancy risk.

 

This guy is screwed. His adultery is going to become public fodder. There's no way he can hide it now. His bank account is going to be sucked clean. He's gonna be the Grandpa-Dad at PTA meetings and soccer games, and even his own kids are gonna be rolling their eyes at him like he's some kind of randy old goat who can't keep his pecker in his pants.

 

His "Golden Years" are shot to hell. And for what?... the lack of a functioning condom?

 

Ahhh well, I suppose if a guy's just GOT to dance, he's eventually gonna have to pay the band.

[puddleofmud]

Can't imagine "paying the band" any easier than being pregnant, birthing or raising a child alone? Even with a monthly check, no matter the amount.

I swear, if ONE of my sons ever comes to me with that kind of "the rubber broke--it's not my fault" stories--he will be sorry I ever brought him in to this world!!!!

Both of them already know that, but there's always the day one doesn't expect.....

[puddleofmud]

I don't think there's a point in getting into the whole abortion debate, because we'll never agree. But abortion is legal, and the original poster deserves to have all of her options before her. No more, no less.

 

Simply because abortion is legal women do have "all options before them". Said options are a personal choice as decided by law by the Supreme Court decision "Roe vs. Wade" decided on a human being's (not just female) right to privacy as to one's body.

Via this decision a woman has a right to a choices regarding her body where no else one has the right to make those choices for her.

Your post was more about your opinion as to YOUR choice FOR her--which is exactly why your post is incongruent with the right to choose.

In a democracy, laws apply accross the board to all citizens, and not the one's deemed "worthy" of said laws.

[Nyx]

Abortion Is Out Of The Question. I Cannot Afford It On My Own.

 

The cost of bringing up a child, possibly as a single mother, will be a lot more. I think you should talk about this with your family as well as your MM. After all, if he doesn't want to be a part of your life and you decide to go ahead and have the child, you won't get his support and will need your family and friends support instead. How would they feel about it?

 

I guess you have some idea what his reaction is going to be even before you tell him. As much as you would love him to leave his wife and be by your side for the birth, be prepared for him not having the reaction you hope for.

 

I really think you should talk to the people who know you and love you and who can count on to be there for you if this all goes pear-shaped, which you have to accept it might well do.

[reservoirdog1]

Via this decision a woman has a right to a choices regarding her body where no else one has the right to make those choices for her.

Your post was more about your opinion as to YOUR choice FOR her--which is exactly why your post is incongruent with the right to choose.

Uh-huh... and how exactly does my post take away her right to choose?

 

I have nothing riding on whether or not the poster chooses to go to full term with the pregnancy, or seek an abortion. Totally her decision. It may not be what I'd do in the same circumstances if I were female, but whatever she chooses, it's her life, her body, and her right to decide what she's going to do. That has nothing to do with me giving an opinion on her situation, which is pretty much the point of a board like this.

 

Your response makes no sense.

[Trialbyfire]

Okay. More options. If you're not beyond the first trimester, tell him sooner than later. His reaction may help to define your decision.

[puddleofmud]

your EXACT words: "Get an abortion"

 

Uh-huh... and how exactly does my post take away her right to choose?

 

I have nothing riding on whether or not the poster chooses to go to full term with the pregnancy, or seek an abortion. Totally her decision. It may not be what I'd do in the same circumstances if I were female, but whatever she chooses, it's her life, her body, and her right to decide what she's going to do. That has nothing to do with me giving an opinion on her situation, which is pretty much the point of a board like this.

 

Your response makes no sense.

[puddleofmud]

How can there be any happyness from this moment forward. All parties invovled will be distraught because this woman is stealing a baby stealing a husband and stealing from a family. Wow and now we will all pay when she asks the state for assistance.

 

And the man is not to blame? After all she got pregnant on her own....

And, NO the state doesn't pay much at all.

SHE pays, as if you don't realize the cost of raising child? Federal law only allows welfare for three years of one's life and is VERY difficult to obtain being that one must be severely provertous and with child support (which is subtracted from ANY welfare) most get NONE.

And via federal law welfare is not awarded without formal state Social

Services seeking child support in order to relieve welfare expense.

Most child support doesn't cover a 10th of actual expenses.

If one is to comment about welfare/ public assistance, then KNOW the law and about which one is speaking...

[sb129]

I agree with the last poster (LucreziaBorgia) as to their advice; as you have chosen to remain pregnant, thus your choices must now be about the sole health and well being of your child, which foremostly includes YOUR health and well-being.

However, just as you have chosen to protect your baby, please understand that the BS must also not be forsaken as to HER health and well-being, as SHE is also human and helpless.

Clinical depression is NOT A CHOICE--it is a very severe illness just as is cancer. Being that she is officially disabled does tell one that this is deadly serious and quite real.

You've no right to make decisions for her or even imagine decisions for her, just as no one else has the right to make decisions about your health or well-being for YOU: her spouse is the one who most likely understands her history and may well be the one she needs the most: medically, emotionally and financially.

Could you respect a person who would leave a person with cancer all alone to fend for themselves?

If YOU had a dibilitating illness would you want a perfect stranger to pop up and insert themselves in to your life?

Just as you wish your pregnancy to be respected you must also respect the complex situation that is about many persons' lives and well-being, which mostly is really none of your business.

What is your business is that you've chosen to have your child--this is entirely your decision and no one should popping up and telling YOU what to do, either!

Apply this to the entire situation:

-MM must take care of his wife

-YOU must take care of YOU and baby

Personally, I wish for you a healthy, gorgeous baby daughter or son!

 

good post POM

[Seen_It_All]

LOL - I'll never get how an OW has no problem morally with lying, deceiving, sneaking, and actively helping her MM pull the wool over his wife's eyes - but then claims moral indignation when someone dares suggest abortion. Funny how that works.

 

Be prepared for the fact that your MM would rather swallow acid-coatd razor blades than have this baby. But it's not his choice to make whether you keep it or not - which sucks for him. Guess he should have bought better 'condoms,' eh? A lesson he'll learn the hard way.

 

I know she has depression problems since I know a few people that are friendly with her. She use to be a pre-k teacher but lost her job for not showing up to work and days that she did she would become delusional towards the children. Thinking they were making fun or her , etc...

So this poor woman has a mental problem, and this piece of garbage's answer to that is to screw around on her and impregnate his side-piece? Yeah, he's a real prince amongst men. I hope you 'win' him, too, when he finds out you're pregnant. All indicators, however, point to the fact that he'll run so fast you won't be able to get the skidmarks out of your driveway for a year.

 

As far as someone mentioning an abortion. This child was created out of love and passion. Not a mistake or any regret. We are planning on being together.

Snort. This kid was created out of lies, deceit, and utter STUPIDITY by two adults who should KNOW how to use contraception EFFECTIVELY by now. If this guy wants to dog around on his wife, the LEAST he can do is get a vasectomy so he's not stuck with a kid in his middle age. What a dumba*ss he is. SURELY you don't believe you're the FIRST of his indiscretions - do you??

 

I have thought about calling and bringing the relationship out in the open to her. Giving her the extra push in the direction she is taking, but I dont want anyone finding out I did it.

What do you MEAN giving her a 'push' in the 'direction' she's going? Are you hoping that you'll send her right over the edge? Real nice - you're morally indignant about an abortion but have NO PROBLEM causing an already supposedly unstable woman's complete breakdown. Wow, you're quite the humanitarian, aren't you? You deserve a medal for your unmatched human decency and compassion.

 

I was planning on telling him about the baby after the doctors appt and I know how far along ect.

LMAO - I'd love to be a fly on the wall to watch the utter JOY spread across his face.

 

When he dumps you, make sure to legally pursue child support from this loser. What another poster said was right on target - we the taxpayers end up financing the social programs you'll have to access to raise this kid if Mr. Wonderful is allowed to go on his merry way. And as a taxpayer, I don't particularly care to foot the bill for your 'love and passion' with this piece of trash.

[sb129]

SIA- I do enjoy reading your your posts....

I particularly enjoyed your point re: morality of having abortion vs morality of shagging someone elses husband.

 

No sugar coating for you huh sweets??

[Guest]

it's funny how there seems to be a little debate about abortion. but, with all due respect, they're both part of the commandments:

Thou shall not kill.

Thou shall not commit adultery.

None is bigger or better than the other.

Plus, this baby was Not made out of love. as least not according to both of you. maybe on ur end, but not in his eyes. if it were, you wouldn't even be on here with a problem. when men are in love, they will do whatever it takes to be with the one they love. otherwise, it's just being selfish. you'll see in time.

His wife, no matter what her condition, comes first. "for sicker, for better". through thick and thin.... not "i do, only when he/she is healthy and not getting on my nerves". he lies to her, he's definitely going to lie to you too.

[Freedom Now]

Yeah, think of how complicated your life will be. How complicated it will make things for your MM and his W. All of you will just be SO put out....kill the baby.

 

Are you f*cking serious? This is a human being.

 

My sentiments exactly.

 

Geesh.

 

Is that all life is? Disposable?

[Tomcat33]

LOL - I'll never get how an OW has no problem morally with lying, deceiving, sneaking, and actively helping her MM pull the wool over his wife's eyes - but then claims moral indignation when someone dares suggest abortion. Funny how that works.

 

Excuse me, sleeping with a MM/MW is two consenting adults agreeing to do something wrong, but utlimately the lies are commited by the MP to their S, if he she can live with that, then that is their choice no one is "forcing" them to do anything they don't want to do.

Killing another human being is completely another thing, it's incomperable, it's taking into your own hands the life of somoene else.

 

You can't comapre apples and oranges. It's like saying:

 

I like it how a person has no qualms about lying to miss a day's work but then they get all moral about lying to thier spouces to have an A.

 

Can you really compare the two?

 

 

This young lady stole some ones husband she had no legal right to him and did not have permission from the wife to go out with him, nor to discuss very personal intimate conversations with him,nor develop a connection with him or start a relationship with him. But her "choice "her body.

 

GEES you talk about it like the married guy she had the affair with was nothing more than a prescious statue made out of exotic crystals that was snatched away from these people's homes during a B&E.

 

Don't you think HE should have thought about all this before he went looking elsewhere to deposit his "love seed?" Does he have no responsibility in protecting himself from getting another woman pregnant who is not his W, who is not the woman he AGREED to infront of god's and everyone's eyes to cherish, hold and love 'til DEATH DO HIM PART? Or did she also break into their home to steal some of his sperm while he was a sleep spooning his W?

 

C'moooooon!

 

 

So the oldest trick in the book is exposed she gets pregnant so the married man can leave his family. YOU CAN"T HANDLE THE TRUTH !!

 

 

They guy couldn't slap a condom on if he was really that concerned with getting entrapped? The woman had all the control in getting pregnant right?

[whichwayisup]

They guy couldn't slap a condom on if he was really that concerned with getting entrapped? The woman had all the control in getting pregnant right

 

Who knows? Maybe she told him she's on the Pill. The Pill isn't full proof 100%, especially if "by accident" a pill or two were missed....(Not saying that is what the OP did, but ya never know....)

[Tomcat33]

Who knows? Maybe she told him she's on the Pill. The Pill isn't full proof 100%, especially if "by accident" a pill or two were missed....(Not saying that is what the OP did, but ya never know....)

 

True, many possibilities of how he could have been "entrapped". I'm just saying that if I were a married guy, who already has family and who does not want to complicate things even more within the complicated actions I am already commiting, I would take take it upon myself to protect myeslf 100% so that I can't say "you lied to me it's your fault you are pregnant you lied to me" to his OW. Unless of course he is just looking to do the same thing he is doing to his W, blame her for his actions. Then I can see why he would put all the onis/trust on the OW.

 

All in all what I seem to be seeing is that women just love to bash other women, and it's done always to protect the guy. We sure put a lot importance on these men don't we.....it's no wonder they have the power that they do..

[Freedom Now]

Personally, I don't think my xMM is worth a cent.

 

She can have him.

[Tomcat33]

Sorry I tried to change my last comment was not able to edit it:

 

what I meant to say is that Everyone just loves to bash the women in these situations, and it's done always to protect the guy...

[Freedom Now]

Sorry I tried to change my last comment was not able to edit it:

 

what I meant to say is that Everyone just loves to bash the women in these situations, and it's done always to protect the guy...

 

And I have yet to find a man who is worth having two women fight for him.

 

Nope. NO man is worth that.

[Tomcat33]

Personally, I don't think my xMM is worth a cent.

 

She can have him.

 

Freedom: I am starting to share your setiments! On the flip side I've always been of the idea that if a man I am with can be so easily taken by another woman, she can have him, he is of no worth to me.

[Freedom Now]

Good thinking, girl.

 

I agree with that logic.

 

I don't want a wishy washy man. I want one that wants ME and only me.

 

Nothing less will do.

 

[sb129]

Sorry I tried to change my last comment was not able to edit it:

 

what I meant to say is that Everyone just loves to bash the women in these situations, and it's done always to protect the guy...

 

Freedom: I am starting to share your setiments! On the flip side I've always been of the idea that if a man I am with can be so easily taken by another woman, she can have him, he is of no worth to me.

 

Exactly!! My exMM can go into the cesspit of wishy washy men. His wife was pregnant when he embarked on an A with me, and he lied thru his teeth about it. Good guy huh. Good riddance is more like it!!!

 

Don't worry TC, there is more than enough man bashing done on here.