I want Him back!

[Bizzit]

I dont really know how to post what i need to say but here goes. This is my first post on this forum.

 

I live in the states and my boyfriend lives in canada. We both have traveld to see one another for more then 2 years now. I have been in a bad marriage and have 2 kids that I dearly love. My life has always been bad, never found anything in my life that ever has made me happy then this one man.

 

We started this out threw the internet and he was married then and Im still married now. I have filed for divorce but not pressed it to go threw because he cant get in the states at all. He was able to travel till the 9-11 and then they stopped him from coming to the states and it got me to travel on lies going out to see him for almost a year now.

 

This man has told me that he loved me everyday and everynight of my life for the past 3 years. I made my way to arange things so we could be together starting the new year of 2003 off to be together. I have signed my rights to my kids to there father to be with this man. It has been a long time that I have been pressed to make a choice of making my self happy or staying in misery and being away from the one that I love and who loves me.

 

I wanted to be able to take my kids with me to canada but they dont want to go there that is one of the reasons that I have stayed here. The man I live with knows about me not loving him and he just waits to see if mabey i will fall back in love with him or if i will just wake up and smell the coffee.

 

This christmas I found out that the man I love has another woman. I guess it was my christmas present this year as he didnt tell me that he was building a relationship with another, the day after christmas he told me that he loved me but he loved her to.

 

He has cut off all contact with me. We had planned on oneday getting marrried and having a child together as he has none.

 

I have caught him in lies before and he has a long term drug habit that I was very aware of and come to accept. He gives me the things in my life I need, The support and love that any woman would ever want. the friendship that we look so hard to find. He makes me feel good about my slef and he makes me want to keep living.

 

I have been told from this man for years now that I have to make my self happy. I thought I was.

 

I want him back. I dont know now what to do or how to do it.

He met this lady the saturday before christmas or so said, then he goes to his mothers place for christmas and brings her home with him.

 

He has changed his passwords to e mails and I even got a letter from his new girlfriend. After trying to commit suicide earlier this week I had came to realise that it would be best not to get involved and wish them the best but to let him know I still loved him and always will. In return SHE wrote to me telling me that she had found her soul mate from his e mail and signed her name.

 

I have got nothing from him yet telling me to not love him anymore. He told me on christmas that he loved me. I just dont know what to do. My heart aches and my eyes cry all day long and nite now. I dont know how to get back the man I love.

[Just A Girl2]

First of all, I'm sorry you're feeling so bad right now.

 

Today is the first day of a New Year.....let today be a new start for you. :-)

 

The guy is a liar. He's a drug addict. He's hurt you. He's obviously strung you along (any guy that brings a woman to meet his family at Christmas, has likely been with her for longer than a day). He's nothing but trouble. YOU deserve so much better than this, don't you think? He sounds like a loser to me. Someone who loves you, doesn't tell you lies...like you admit he's done over the course of time you've known him.

 

 

 

He was able to travel till the 9-11 and then they stopped him from coming to the states and it got me to travel on lies going out to see him for almost a year now.

 

What a crock of crap. Unless this guy has some kind of criminal record and isn't allowed to cross the border (I'm Canadian), then there should be NO reason in the world that he can't fly to the U.S. to see you. The fact that he's told you lies about this, so that you'd come to see him.....well gee, let me guess...WHO paid for YOUR TRIPS to go see him? I'm guessing it was you. In other words, he didn't want to spend the money to go and visit you. How can you respect a dog like this?

 

After all youve been through, even a simple friend should treat someone with more respect.

 

Chances are if you met him on the internet, he's meeting others online, too. Guys like this 'work that way.'

 

This DOG is not worth taking your life over. You have children and people who love you, to live for. Nobody is worth taking their life over, NOBODY.

 

The fact that his so-called new girlfriend wrote you....that's just too weird....and obviously he was aware that she did it, you'd think, because in order to know about YOU, he'd have had to tell her........now what kind of man would be a part of something like this, that would hurt you, after you've been "together" (of sorts) for 3 yrs? He is a dog, I can't say it any other way.

 

I am sorry that you signed over the rights to your children for this dog. No man or human being is worth more than one's children.

 

I would wish for you, that you could speak with someone...a counsellor, or therapist........and try to get a lot of this stuff off your chest........Maybe there is some chance that with counselling..for you AND your husband (even though you've filed for divorce), that you could work things out and reconcile......and keep your family together. Hey?

 

I'm curious though..you filed for divorce but didn't proceed with it. Why not?

[Bizzit]

Thank you for your responce,

 

He did come and see me and he has paid for me to go there but I have as well paid him for the money spent for me to be there and had money wired to me to have cash in hand wile i was there because i felt bad for him paying for things for me. We both told many lies to others but it was for us to be able to see one another. I know that isnt right but My heart ached to see and be with him so bad.

 

He did get in to trouble in 89 for pot that is the only charge that i know anything about. My Husband now will never keep my kids from me it was signed to him because i was going to your provance and he didnt want the kids out there and they didnt want to go. He did want to see me and I think that he might still but with all this im not sure.

 

I had planned to make this trip my trip to stay there in canada. I was flying out of here on 01-03-03 to go be with him. I have been trying to work on this as his christmas present and his new years gift this year, to my suprise I found out this. When I told him after finding out about this other lady he said you need to tell me things woman! then he talked as I cryed and he never said I could come or not.

 

I cryed all day and the later in the evening I have cancelled my one way ticket to canada:( In the begenning he drove from Edmonton Canada to come 3000 miles to see me and drove that distance 2 times before the 911.

 

with his past charge he is not able to come back in the states , he tryed threw the airport and then when they refused him then he tried driving here again and when he got to the boarder then they almost arrested him for trying to come in and told him that if he was caught trying to cross again he would spend up to 20 years thinking about trying it again.

 

I dont want to think that he met another on line befor this past week as it is now this is really breaking my heart. I have never felt this way about anyone in my life, we have been threw so much together and being apart and trying to cling on to one another threw the internet has been hard.

 

My Husband didnt know about him for a long time as his wife never knew about me till they divorced. It started getting to him that he was a hidden secreat and it really botherd him.

 

I was scared to tell anyone, I didnt want to be i guess caught in a cheating act, as I grew up abused and the I got in church and thought I was living right till I found the internet that is. I met this man and he just took my breath away as he always has since. And now am so lost.

 

I went threw a memory thing of am i really in love with this man from the internet or is this just something that I think that I want because wemon and men go threw things like that or so I read they do. I never really thought that It would be possible that I would ever want anyone ealse ever.

 

I have been married since I was 14 and having two kids 16 and 9 really puts a strain on things in your life. I have always told this man and the one I married that My kids come first and I stood that ground till this moment and I still think my kids are first but I wanted not to lose him as I felt that I was going to unless I did something. I just waited to late. I didnt realise that he was seeing someone ealse.

 

I didnt go threw with the divorce i guess because of my kids and the securitys that I had at home. I moved out of my house with the money from the ticket refund and its sure lonely around here now. I still get to see my kids anytime I want or need but its that I gave away more away to go be with this man and then finding out there is another laying where I should be, just breaks my heart.

 

I wander if alot if he still loves me or he is just tired of being with out human contact as he was telling me alot since I left there 5 months ago.

 

We had passwords to eachothers e mail boxes and he checked mine everyday, now I write to him alot but I keep them in my mail box thinking that somehow or someway he will log in again and read them.

I truely miss him. I havent ever felt like this befor.:(

[Just A Girl2]

Hi again,

 

Something you wrote that doesn't strike me as right:

 

In the begenning he drove from Edmonton Canada to come 3000 miles to see me and drove that distance 2 times before the 911. with his past charge he is not able to come back in the states , he tryed threw the airport and then when they refused him then he tried driving here again and when he got to the boarder then they almost arrested him for trying to come in and told him that if he was caught trying to cross again he would spend up to 20 years thinking about trying it again.

 

Before that, you wrote this:

 

He did get in to trouble in 89 for pot that is the only charge that i know anything about.

 

 

Now someone correct me if I'm wrong, but something doesn't add up here. Yes, since 9/11, security is tighter and they've really cracked down in terms of who crosses the border from Canada to the U.S., and vice versa.......BUT......I have a hard time believing that up until 9/11, his "previous pot charge" was not an issue, but now it is. I would be much more inclined to believe that either he's a) lying about all that or b) since 9/11, he's been in more trouble with the law (charged w/ something).....and THAT is why he's no longer able to cross the border. Doesn't that concern you? Would you really want to be with a man who's not even allowed into the U.S.? Who knows about his criminal history.......he could have been charged w/ rape or armed robbery or God knows what. scary stuff! That's one of the risks with getting involved with someone who lives so far away...you just don't know everything about them.

 

BUT..the fact that you know he's been told he can't even cross the border, I'd say that's a huge red flag that this guy has some deep dark secrets. TROUBLE!

 

The truth of the matter is, there's simply no WAY for you to find out the truth about his criminal history/past....so let sleeping dogs lie, for your own safety and sake.

 

Something you wrote that strikes me as odd is this:

 

We had passwords to eachothers e mail boxes and he checked mine everyday, now I write to him alot but I keep them in my mail box thinking that somehow or someway he will log in again and read them.

 

Why would this guy be feeling the need to go into your email acct and check your mail? Where's the trust? It's silly anyway, because anyone can set up one of a zillion other free webbased email accts....and be writing to every tom dick or harry, to their heart's content.....without anyone knowing.

 

I suspect that you were drawn to this man because you were very unhappy in your marriage.....and you reached out to him because he filled some of the voids you had in your life.......he was what you felt you needed "at the time"......But there are many other good men out there....ones who live locally........don't bother wasting your time on some clown who lives so far away, who's a drug addict, who obviously has a criminal history (that you don't even fully know about), who's now got someone else, who seems pretty messed up.

 

You might be better off to just spend this time working on YOU....loving YOURSELF.....being good to YOURSELF....getting into some counselling or a support group for women. Then sit back and take a look at your marriage and decide which way you want to go. Hey?

[midori]

Just A Girl2 has made some very very good points which I don't think can be easily put aside. This doesn't sound like a good situation at all. I would be very skeptical of anything this man has to say. What he's telling you just doesn't add up. And as JAGirl2 has pointed out, his new girlfriend wouldn't have known how to contact you if he hadn't told her.

 

This is someone to run from, not to. Especially when you consider what your relationship with him has cost you already.

[Bizzit]

I really didnt understand him being refused to the states but I really never looked at it like there might of been another charge.

 

When he first started coming here he drove and then he flew a time of two, then the 911 then he was never able to cross again. But in the start of his flying he thought there might of been a problem with him getting in with that old pot charge.

 

The email password exchange I think came from me hiding it from everyone around here so no one would breakin my e mail as it had been done befor.

 

I just cant for the life of me stop thinking of the belief of his love for me. I dont know how much could change or how it happend just like that. I had been very sick and I wasnt able to get on line as much and when I did I would be waiting for him( to check his e mail) So i would post on a forum that im on all the time wile waiting for his finish of mail so we could have some time to talk at night befor bed.

 

but 2 weeks ago we was on line and used netmeeting to talk and he really didnt have much to say and everytime he looked at me in the cam he cryed, but to me this wasnt anything that we hadnt been threw befor from missing eachother. But I had noticed it was alot of just looking at one another. He thought sent me an e mail and said that I had put my message boards and other things first befor him, that wasnt so. I think that when i was sick and not on line that he thought I was hiding from him finding someone ealse but my heart is with him and always be.

 

I was suprised to find out that he had met this lady,as most sites you go on you have to have an e mail account to log in to be able to post from. Well he has told me that he found this lady on some Lava site, I have yet to find it or anything in any of his e mails about the site.

I miss him so much that it just makes me sick...

[Just A Girl2]

That "Lava" site that you refer to is Lavalife (I'm a member there, that's how I know..gee, seeing how I don't live far from the city you mentioned he lives in, wonder if I've come across his profile there? Likely)..

 

It is a Singles Site...where you go to meet someone, either for Dating, to find a serious Relationship, or to find someone for casual sex.

 

It's impossible to 'meet' anyone through there, unless you have a profile set up there yourself. So....that being said, it's obvious he placed a personal ad there, while being with you, and he's a huge dickhead.

 

Sorry to say.

[Bizzit]

Omgosh.. I set around so many nights with listening to him tell me how lonely he was and worried about him because he set at home all the time and never went anywhere at all. He was depressed and sleeping all the time and. I was worried that he was going to take him self back to the same useage of drugs he was useing befor.

 

I told him he needed to meet some friends and go out and get out of the house. I didnt mean to make a love conncetion and not tell me about it. Thank you for sending me that link because I would just like to see what he has to say on there. I dont know what his name would be there but im sure I could figure out witch one he is. It breaks my heart that he would do this mess. But, I still have to think that it was me that didnt do what he wanted me to do and he did wait on me for so long but it was me that didnt move and I didnt realise that he was ending us. NOt that it helps or gives me an excuse.

 

Thank you so much for your time to talk with me, I really needed to talk to somone. I just wished that I would of did something before now and now i dont think he will ever have me back. Im scared that this is going to work out with her and he wont ever talk to me again.

[Bizzit]

I checked out that site and he didnt come up as a member in the past 90 days.. I dont understand unless he was on it when i left there or right after....

[Bizzit]

I had a little time to think about what was said here in this post threw out the evening lastnight and I know that our longdistance relationship was hard for both. But when you say you lovesomeone and lead them to believe that you do and are seeing someone ealse is just wrong.

 

I know this morning that he is recieveing my emails as I sent him a card and it was shown in my mail to be picked up. I just wait to see what happens now. How do you move on? how do you make your self move on?

 

I talked on line with his mother and she tells me that she was suprised to find out that all this happend so fast as well.

 

She knows in her heart how I felt about him and he lead them to beleave the same about me till he come bringing this lady to meet her. She says this other lady makes him happy.

 

I guess I need to find a way to move on..:( I just love this man with all my heart and hate to let him go.

 

I just keep thinking that with everything we been threw how do I go on with out him and why he just didnt tell me and let it hit me all at one time like he done.

[Bizzit]

Its been a couple days now and I still havent heard from him.. Im really having a hard time believeing that he dont want to write to me. I cant understand why he has cut all contact off like this. I didn't know that someone could do something so crul. This man and my self have talked many hours threw out the evening and spent lots on longdistance phone calls.... then to have everything gone over night just dont seem right.

 

He has never been the type to just hurt me like this. Our longdistance relationship has gone on for along time for it just to happen like this.

 

I have found out that that he is indead getting my emails and they are opend and then placed in the trash, befor they used to be all put in a folder and kept there till she came along. He has not changed his password to all the accounts like I had thought he had just the one she sent me the letter from about being his soul mate.

 

I set here at night watching my screan... waiting for the little flag to pop up and say I got mail. Im as well in fear of the letter that might soon come saying he never wants to talk to me again:(

 

He has still not called me nor has he wrote to me telling me that I needed to move on with my life. I dont want to give up on him because I love him. I want him in my life so much, I know that I can over look alot of the problems we once had. This man was very jealious of me, he always thought men was making moves on me.. he was still like this a couple weeksago.

 

How do you wait it out with out the pain? I just cant seem to want to do anything other then wait by the phone to get his call, wait on line to see if he sends a letter.

 

It makes no since to me as to the way things are happening right now. Hes hear, He gone.. being in eachothers life for 3 years and even when I thought of I might not move out there I never left him alone like this(no contact at all).

 

I havent had a dry eye now in a week,everytime I do something it always sends back memorys of him and I together. I now cant even listen to the radio because all the songs we listen to play all day long now.:(

 

We had our song, I sang to him all the time it was by Sara Evans I could not ask for more) when that song came one the radio something just went over me and I almost passed out.

 

I just cant let him go, or is it that , I can and dont want to? I hang on to the thought of his last letter telling me that he loved me and that he met her and (just cant seem to care enough for her) that letter is the one that came to me christmas this year. Im hurting inside so bad that I cant do anything, depression has set in again and I feel so unwanted.

His main e mail account that we were useing the password was changed and Im sure wile she was there he suggested the change by letting her know I had the password.

 

With his the e mail accounts that I have the password to the password has not' been changed is this a sign that he still cares?

 

He hasnt sent back a letter telling me that he dont want me is that a sign that he still may want me? I keep thinking that he wants me, he took the time to read my e mail. I sent him a card and it showed that the card was picked up. Is that a sign? I just dont know what to do! Im looking for something to hang on to.. I hold the thought that he loves me so neer to my heart.

[Bizzit]

Reality has started today when I signed on and went to one of the e mail accounts where I seen he had been checking my mail, the password was changed today. I still keep sending mail to him and hope that in one way or another he will contact me. My heart aches for him and the feelings of our relationship is coming to rise inside of me with thoughts of he is gone.

 

I have again cryed all day today.. I have tryed to call him today and talk to him but he never answerd the phones at all. I called home and work both but nothing. I dont know if this is just him trying to see if he wants to let go or can or has. I havent got any e mail or calls from him at all yet telling me that he dont love me anymore. I hang on to the thoughts of his last letter and all the letters befor of him telling me that he loves me. I just cant let it go of this.

 

I think that he loves me and I dont want to give up till he says its over i suppose. I miss him so bad and I just cant get over this. I dont know of any support groups or do I have any friends to talk to about it that would understand what is happening inside of me.

 

I hate that the mail has changed because it was the only way I had any hope at all left. He has never did this to me as long as we known one another and it isnt just like something he would do. I hope that the change is coming from her finding out about his e mails and not really what he wanted to do his self. I keep the thought that he dont want to give me up yet because he hasnt told me his self that its over.

 

I pray that day dont come anytime soon even tho it might should happen to make me realise whats happening. :(

[lostone]

pit:

 

SO sorry to hear about your situation.

 

First off:

 

I believe the only way a person cannot get back into the USA is if they are a deported felon. People who have been convicted of a felony w/i the USA and are not a U.S. citizen AND are let say from Mexico... they can be deported to Mexico; which means they cannot "legally" get back into the U.S.

 

So, if the pot charge was felonious AND was w/i the jurisdiction of the USA AND the guy was not a U.S. citizen...does any of that apply??? If not, I'm sorry, the guy is at least not being honest with YOU!!!

 

THe best of luck to you!

[Just A Girl2]

Okay, I read what you wrote about possible reasons why Pit's ex can't get into the U.S. (from Canada). Okay, MAYBE it's due to the very old 'pot charge'...but if that were the case, why did he have no problems crossing the border on numerous occasions PRIOR to Sept 11? It was only AFTER Sept 11 that he was forbid entrance into the U.S.....which leads me to believe that he committed some kind of crime between the time that he was having no problems crossing the border, and the time he tried but wasn't allowed. Being that she's admitted he's still a drug addict, the list of possibilities is endless: possession (again), possession with intent to traffic, caught trafficking, robbery, break and enter (to get money for drugs), etc etc.

 

because she's never going to be able to find out 'for sure', she needs to forget this guy like a bad dream.

[lostone]

Just A Girl2:

 

Either the guy is a pathological liar or like you said: maybe committed another crime post 9-11 and is on bail, probation or something that prohibits him from leaving the province for sureity reasons and to insure he shows up for his court dates... Or... maybe he looks like Bin Laden???

[Bizzit]

I dont know ... I know that he was coming befor but he had told me then they didnt check him to see if he had a felony charge then but when the security tightend that they started checking threw the computer files then he was refused. I dont think that he would of hid from me another charge but on the other hand he knew I was ok with him getting high but I didnt know at that time it was a regular as it was.

 

I learned once I was there with him that he didnt want to give up the pot, he stays depressed or I thought he was as he was always telling me that. I as well didnt know that he had a codien habit either but he did or I thought that he did. It was an issue with me about the codien as I worried about his heart with the codien verses me worring about him getting busted with pot. He had told me that he wasnt useing codien anymore since I had been there before, he told me that he loved me enough to give that habit up.

 

The last time I was there with him,almost 5 months ago I went in to put my things up and in the top of the closet I seen a small film container, I reached to open and to my suprise I find it full of codien pills. I tryed to let my heart believe that these was from befor, I closed it up and placed them back on the shelf. Later that evening I went back to the room, got the bottol back down, it was empty. I didnt say anything to him that day but when we had a disagreement a few days later I asked him about them. He said that he either didnt know where they went or something.

 

Anyways I didnt want to believe that he was taking them again. I still dont but in my heart I know he is. Codien is something that you dont get over the counter here in the states but in canada you can get them all day long. People like him can get them when they dont need them.

 

He started taking them because he has sever miagrains and they get really bad, but the codien is worse then the miagrains I think, I love him and I dont want to see him hurt.

 

The charges I dont know about other then he and his mother has told me that he was in jail for one marjuhanna smoke, I was suprised to find out that only one joint there was reconized here as a felony???

 

I still havent heard from him but one of the other e mail address passwords was changed, I guess when he changes them all I know that he didnt love me like he said he did. Im still hurting and crying everyday, Mabey God will have time soon to help me out as I pray so much to help me with the depression befor something happens. thank you all for talking back to me I sure needed to talk.

[lostone]

Pain meds. can really be addicting dear.

 

Look at all of the sports stars that have been addicted to pain pills...Brett Favre for instance, yes I'm a Packer fan!

 

Unfortunately, pain pill usage or the overusage can lead to addiction which leads to needing a stronger pill, Oxycontin.

 

Oxycontin reminds me of crack epidemic. Once you use it you are hooked. Obviously the two are quite different though. Look what crack did to the U.S. Now, people addicted to Oxycontin and Codeine rob pharmacies now.

 

Good luck dear

[Bizzit]

I know what you mean and thank you for your responce, Im just so lost and looking for answers that im sure ill never get or find my self:( I wished I could of been with him to help him threw it because I really think that he wanted to give them up for me or I would like to think that I made he want to. I messed up both our lives with my selffshness of just my life and not his. I dont think that I will ever get over this one:(

[Just A Girl2]

Pit:

 

Please, stop blaming yourself. Do some reading online about 'drug addicts'...and start learning that drug addicts (whether it be pot or codeine or whatever) are RESPONSIBLE for their own addictions, period. It was NOT up to you to save him, to get him to stop. It will never BE your responsibility. It is HIS responsibility, PERIOD.

 

This man has met someone else, he's lied to you on numerous occasions, he placed a "personal ad" at the Lava-place and admitted to having met "this new woman" there. None of that is YOUR FAULT. Nothing you did or said PUSHED HIM into doing any of this. He is a grown man and he did what he wanted to do.

 

Thank your lucky stars that you are not with him any more. Life with a drug addict can be sheer and pure hell.

 

You already know he's not allowed into the U.S., God only knows what the real story is behind that. You'll never get to the bottom of it, but think about it.........would you really want to spend your life with some dude who's got a criminal record/who can't even cross the border? One word: LOSER.

 

You have to buck up here and stop pining over him, and dwelling on him. Why would you even SETTLE for a drug addict who has a criminal record, who's snuck around behind your back and met some other lady off the internet personals? Again: LOSER.

 

You can do a lot better than that.

 

Find someone, when you're ready, who lives in your own area.......who has a good reputation, who is NOT AN ADDICT, who has no criminal record, who is true to his word, who does not tell lies, who will be honest with you, who will be faithful, who will treat you like the queen that you are. OKAY?

 

Yes, I'm sure he's had good qualities, but the bad qualities he has are EXTREMELY significant. You deserve someone much better.

 

Think about it...if you had a girlfriend in this same situation, and she told you about a guy she'd been seeing who was a drug addict, who had a criminal record (for god knows what), who'd found someone else online, etc........wouldn't you be telling her that she was much better off without him??

 

Stop punishing yourself, stop blaming yourself.

 

Get out your phone book. Look in the white pages under "Narcotics Anonymous." This, like Alcoholics Anonymous, is a 12 step program for those who are addicted to all kinds of drugs. Call it up..and ask if they have any kind of SUPPORT GROUP for friends and loved ones of those who are drug addicts....then find out when the next meeting is and where. (they are free). I think it might do you a lot of good to talk with other people who've had their lives affected by drug addicts.....so that you can get to a place where you can stop blaming yourself........and you can also get to the place where you can UNDERSTAND just how 'toxic' a relationship with a drug addict can be (they are COMPULSIVE liars)..........and you can learn that you are much better off without this boob.

 

It doesn't matter that you're no longer with him..........but you're still under the "effects" of him.....and it would do you a lot of good to have the support and friendship of others who have lived with/are living with drug addicts, I think.

[Just A Girl2]

You'd written:

 

Codien is something that you dont get over the counter here in the states but in canada you can get them all day long.

 

The only Codeine that someone in Canada can get without a prescription for, is Tylenol #1, which is Tylenol PLUS 7.5mg of Codeine...which is a very very very tiny dose (for example: Tylenol #3, which requires a prescription, contains 30mg of Codeine per tablet).....so someone who's hooked on Codeine, would have to ingest copious amounts of Tyl #1 to be getting enough Codeine to be getting any sort of buzz........so much so, that they'd be supremely killing their liver from all of the Tylenol they'd have to consume. So...that being said, chances are, someone who's hooked on Codeine, they're likely buying it on the street, from a dealer, etc..........not supporting their habit from the over the counter stuff. I suppose they COULD go around to different doctors and get prescriptions for it (though docs these days are very strict about who they prescribe narcotics to......)........but he's not getting the Codeine he'd need to support his habit, from "over the counter" at pharmacies here (in Canada).

[Bizzit]

Yes he is... I was with him when he bought a bottle of them(100) when we first crossed the boarder becase I had a headache. I took just one of them. When we got to his mothers house we unpacked and I went to take a shower.. I came out of the shower and he was standing in the bedroom saying his head hurt him, I told him that he could take a few of the pills that he had just bought me. He said ok then I went back to the other room, when I came out I was suprised and breathless to find out that he had a HANDFULL of them codien tablets! I reached and took them out of his hand and asked what are you doing? he said that he was going to take them, I said no!!! that many will hurt you, that was when I started thinking as I took them and gave him 2 of them. I admit that I had wanders cross threw my mind then about him and the use of these pills as when he came to my state to get me he had them with him but was all gone befor he returned home. He had 2 bottles with him(100) each. I get headaches alot from not wearing my glasses I had taken some of them as well the days he was here. I as well found someone to get him some pot from wile he was here. I know I shouldnt of but I did. I didnt want him suffering in a motel room by him self with me at that time going home to a husband.

 

Anyway.. at his mothers home, the next day the codien bottle was setting on the rr counter.. I opend it up, there was 56 pills in the bottle. Then I got worried because I was with a man that I known on line for a long time, I had just road all the way to canada from lower states, I knew no one there at all. And I knew he got high, but didnt know of what all he used to get high with. That was something I never thought about. I let him go a few days with not saying anything about them. We left his mothers home to go to his house and my head was hurting me again, I had asked if I may have one of the pills for my head as I was crying from the pain.. He didnt have any left. He had to buy another bottle of (100) inorder to take care of my headache. Once we got home.. he had put them on the dresser.. the next day the bottle as half empty.

He is getting them over the counter or was.. I hope that he really has put them aside and if he is doing anything that it is just the pot. I would rather see him do nothing and have to live with the reality of what im going threw as well.

[Deadbeat]

Pit, you say he has not changed his password to all e mail accounts right? You also say that he is reading your emails? you say he has not told you that its over?

I don't think that this man wants to let you go either if all this is true. If he isn't returning your mail and he is reading your letters then he had something inside of him telling him not to let this go. Men are strange, they find someone to show them intrest where they lacked it and something new makes us feel better at the time, I have tended to take my feelings for one girl and try to show the other the same when it was not the thing to do but it seemed to make me feel better wile I was with the other. I would bet that he is still thinking about you when he isnt occupied with her. It will get to him if he loved you like you said he did.

Keep sending him e mails never let him go a day with out knowing your there for him. I think that this man is an idiot because we all can tell from your post that you dearly love this man.

[Just A Girl2]

You wrote:

 

Keep sending him e mails never let him go a day with out knowing your there for him. I think that this man is an idiot because we all can tell from your post that you dearly love this man.

 

Good Lord, her ex is a LOSER. A drug addict, has some kind of criminal record which prevents him from crossing the border into the U.S., he placed a personal ad and MET another woman (the one he's now seeing), he's told her lie after lie, he's treated her like crap, he's allowed his 'new woman' to email her......and you're encouraging Pit to keep pouring her heart and soul into him? NO WAY!

 

I know we're all entitled to our own diverse opinions here, but I'd seriously have to ask you whether or not you read ALL of her posts here.....because I can't imagine ANYONE who has, encouraging her to hang onto this LOSER.

[HokeyReligions]

Pit, if you are real, and your situation is real, then you need to get some help for yourself right now.

 

Besides the blatent contradictions about your bf's drug use, you have mentioned suicide and turning over custody of your children to your husband. You say you've been married since you were 14 and it appears that your whole life is defined by what a man is telling you. This guy in Canada is the LEAST of your problems.

 

You want to know what to do now? Get some therapy. Go to your closest hospital, walk into the emergency room and say "I tried to commit suicide a few weeks ago and I have been cheating on my husband and I have a broken heart. Someone on the internet told me to come here and say this and tell you that I need help now"

 

Don't walk, run to the hospital.

[Bizzit]

Im scared.. Im crying and Im alone.. I have got a letter tonight from him and he told me in the letter this is all my fault. I didnt go when he wanted me to and he said he told me that he was going to move on. WE have said many times that we was going to move on because of no way of getting together because of my kids. HE SAID HE LOVED ME christmas! He hasnt changed his passwords to the other accounts, I have wrote to him everynite letting him know that I loved and missed him and reminded him word for word of things that happend in our time together that made us happy. My emotions are very mixed up, I cant think right anymore. Im scared that he is 4 real with this about him loving her. Can it be true? Can he be in love with another woman this fast? When he wrote to me tonight I had to send a letter back to him telling him that he loved me christmas and how could he just drop me like this and is it fair to give the love we shared to another woman knowing in his heart that the I love yous that he is telling her is the love he had for me, or I would like to think it is. Im so messed up and confused. Im scared to go to the hospital and talk to them face to face about this and them laugh at me. My tummy hurts and my eyes are so sore and my heart,.... my heart aint ever felt like this befor in my life. I dont have many friends that I can talk to about this. Its been so hard keeping it locked up inside of me for this many years. I told him in his emails that he was going to have to tell me over the phone with no one around him that this was over.. instead he e mailed it as I told him not to do. I dont know if he is alone or if she is there with him and he is sending mail because of that. This is the first letter that I have got from him since the saturday befor christmas. It JUST RIPPS MY HEART OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!