I want Him back!

[Just A Girl2]

If she loves someone she should fight for him no matter why he cant get in the state or about his useage of drugs. He must of did something right for her to be so In love with him. IF she can win him back over this other then she should do that.

 

What on earth are you talking about? From what I've read, Ted Bundy (you know, the serial killer?) was a real charming guy....even had a girlfriend for a lot of the time he was out murdering college girls.......yeah, she loved him....and look what kind of sick f*ck he was? Of course when she found OUT what he was about, she dumped him and feared for her life.

 

Are you saying that people should just love ANYONE, despite what kind of PROBLEMS that other person might have? You think it's just peachy for a woman, who's obviously very emotionally upset, and dependent, to go chasing a guy who's a freakin drug addict, who's got a major assed criminal record (they don't stop you from crossing the border without VERY GOOD reason), who's CHEATED on her with some dame he met on a Personals Site, who's LIED to her, who's BLAMED all their problems on her......she should still continue to pine away over him? COME ON NOW!

 

He must have done something right to make her love him? Hunny, I don't know where you're from.......but people can fall in love with "bad people" just as easily as the good ones.

 

Why on earth would you be encouraging her to go chasing after this man who's nothing but trouble, who's told her that he's IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE (seeing someone else)? Either you're not reading all of the posts here, or you're a little lost in the relationship department, sorry to say.

 

And Pit: You really have to get a grip here. GO to the nearest hospital, tell them how depressed you are. GOOD GOD, they're not going to laugh at you! Do you know how MANY people go to the hospital who are in similar situations? TONS AND TONS AND TONS. The vast majority of patients on most psychiatry units are there due to depression, feeling hopeless and suicidal, having problems coping with the loss of a relationship, feeling utter despair. Nobody is going to laugh at you or judge you one darn bit! Stop thinking about this dick and start thinking about yourself....about YOUR health, about your stress, about your peace of mind.

 

You need people to talk to, in person, who will listen to you and help you........even much moreso than us strangers on the internet can do. Go to the hospital and get the help you need. Doesn't mean you're crazy, doesn't mean you're weak...it just means you're human and you need a little bit of help to get through this all. The staff there deal with people in your situation ALL THE TIME...*especially* at this time of your, around the holidays..which can be one of the worst times for some people (feeling alone, feeling hopeless, dealing with the breakup of a relationship, etc).

 

Come on......you have to muster up the strength and determination to take a step in helping yourself............and you've got to stop contacting this guy. To continue to mail him, is only putting yourself in a continued position of being further hurt.

 

Stop trying to make sense of his actions.

 

Focus on getting yourself over this, and better. You have children to think about...they should be a #1 priority, too......they need their mom to be healthy and at peace, right?

[Bizzit]

ty I do think of my kids and I think of him, there dad and my life now. Im scared to make that step of going in to the hospital and being labeled the rest of my life as a susideal nut cracker. This man lives in weinwright canada, I keep constant thoughts of how he made me believe in my self and the love we had and shared together. He pressured me everyday to leave and make myself happy when I finally did... its to late? Hell we been going threw this now ...i counted from time of first hand contact since 2001 so it hasnt been as long as I thought it was . BUT never yet I didnt ever have self esteam before of did I ever put my self first at anytime in my life. I wanted to be with him so bad that I let my husband have custody of my kids and give up my new 2300 sf house that we built together with a shop 4 acres of land and my racecar that I drive. I just cant get a grip on where it went wrong other the he is right and i just waited to long.

I have to show you the letter he wrote to me...

 

 

Hunny:

I'm sorry your hurt so badly right now. I don't know if it's fair or not, but its what I have to do. I do love you and always will. Your are a best friend. But I love Lana and she is my best friend too.

I remeber all the things we did and saw together and I don't regret anything we did. But all I really needed from you was a comitment and you always said you couldn't give that to me.

 

(((((I never told him that I wouldnt I told him that I didnt know what to do, I was scared , I have never been alone and out of the country, I have never had to do anything on my on to make it. I have been married since I was a child. He helped me reach the point in my life to move out and file for a seperation!)))))) I did and now this...

 

 

 

I have been on my own since you left the last time. You worked very hard to make yourself a life there and I did all I could to help you with that. I could not talk to you about what was bothering me because you were alwways under so much stress and kept saying how bad it made you feel to hear me say those things. So I stopped telling you. You always acted like you were arranging your life to be lived there and get race cars lined up and sponsers and all your charity work. I knew I was only someone you could spare a little time for each day. You couldn't be online till late and be the real you, and that ain't right or fair for anyone.

Me and Lana are happy. We are in love and we are comitted to each other. I know it hurts you to hear that, but it is only fair to tell you. I Do Not want to hurt you anymore Hunny. I remeber all the good times we had. I also remeber all the sad times and problems we had. You are a wonderful, kind, careing, and very capable woman *******. You can do anything you put your mind to it. Your mind was always put toward other things than us and that was the problem I guess.

I know I told you you could have the e mail account***. I messed up. The password will be changed back again until you decide to change it. I'm sorry, it's yours.

I haven't been online much at all and not at all for a few days so I didn't read all your letters.

 

 

((((That is a lie he has had all of them open))) I know him and he is reading them!

 

I am still your friend and I will still help you where I can. But I am with Lana and I am going stay with her. I hope you can live with that and still be friends. She and I will be getting married and I am not going to throw that away.

Thats about where it sits Hunny. I'm sorry it had to turn out this way. I tryed all I could to make you happy and want to be with me. I could not take it anymore and I tryed to tell you. I'm sorry.

All My Love ******

 

 

He still calls me hunny and he still loves me? I cant take this, I dont know what to do.. I want him back. I dont know why or how to move on..I jsut dont nkow what todo:(:(

[Paul]

Hi pit,

 

I'm closing this thread.

 

It is clear from your original post and subsequent replies that you are in no condition to be worrying about a relationship with another person at this time in your life.

 

You have some serious personal responsibilities and issues that you need to get focused on and pronto. Immersing yourself in this unnecessary drama between you and this guy in Canada isn't going to make it all go away.

 

You can't continue to live vicariously through others.

 

Here's your action plan:

1. Walk into the local emergency room or clinic and let them know you've been experiencing thoughts of suicide. Have yourself checked out. They will give you information on programs and services in your area to help you cope through this crisis in your life. You will not be considered a "crazy person" and you will be treated confidentially.
   
2. If you can't get yourself motivated to do that, call 911 or your local emergency number and tell them the same thing. Most communities have a team of trained persons available 24 hours a day to get you the help you need on the spot.
   
3. Follow their instructions to the letter.
   
4. See your general practitioner/family doctor and ask to be referred to a psychologist, psychiatrist, or therapist that can help you sort through this crisis. Money is not an issue here. Your doctor can set up low-cost or no-cost programs for you.
   
5. Keep your appointments.
   
6. Check the blue pages of your local telephone directory for local 12-step recovery programs that are offered for family and friends of drug addicts. Attend those meetings.
   
7. Limit your computer time as much as possible. Do not continue to check the e-mail accounts of other people.
   
8. Get involved in an organization or other social group where you can be around people who have the same interests as yourself. Develop hobbies to keep you busy.
   
9. Keep your appointments (this is here twice for a reason).
   

 

Best wishes,

Paul