dahling Posted April 22, 2007 Share Posted April 22, 2007 i'll try to make this short. i dated this guy for 8 months. we've been broken up for about three. we've been friends since then and he's kind of been suggesting getting together again. he called earlier today, talked about the last time we slept together and asked if it could happen again. it kind of went like this: - uh...no. - no? - no - you dont like me like that anymore? - no well remember the other day when you wanted to hang out and i told you nothing was going to happen and you never showed up...it proved me something.. im not mad. i just know that...i will... and always will be.. just a piece of ass. - *pause* ok, then i dont see a point in carrying-attempting to carry on a relationship, even as friends, if you dont even repect me or believe what i say, ever. Ever. - ok.... - talk to you later - ok - bye i called him back a few moments later asking if that was the only reason he called. he said no. i also confirmed if we werent friends anymore and he said 'its not my fault'. then we got into a short argument, which most of the time, consisted of him going on about how i disrespect him by never believing him, how my actions affect his decisions and me trying to make the situation better. it ended with him hanging up on me. ive known him to be one hell of a compulsive liar. actually, a lot of people know that about him. and we both know that he messes with my head a lot. it works, especially since i read into things so much and over analyze everything to sh-t. i just dont know if im being overly skeptical about what he did and what his intentions were or if he was just messing with my head again and turning this whole thing around on me, making me feel guilty. i just dont know where i stand with him now, but i do know that i want him in my life and i do know that i didnt want to lose our friendship. should i be sad about what i did? accusing him of being dishonest and a pig. ruining things between us or should i be angry? that he would turn this around on me. trying to make it seem like my fault Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 22, 2007 Share Posted April 22, 2007 The last thing I see from this guy is any attempt at a genuine friendship. I'm not sure why anyone would choose to be friends with someone who lies, gaslights, plays head games, is controlling, is passive aggressive and above all wants to use you for sex. You will really need to evaluate the exact nature of what compels you to be friends with this guy. Do you honestly want to be friends with someone who treats you that way, or are you looking for any excuse to keep him in your life on some level and call that "friends"? You are holding on to someone that doesn't exist, I'm afraid. You want the "him" that you wish he could be, not the guy he really is. He will never live up to that, and the sooner you realize that the sooner you can move on with your life and find love and genuine friendships. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted April 22, 2007 Share Posted April 22, 2007 I wouldn't have even called him back -- and I'm not sure why you did. You evaluation and judgment were dead on - the conversation clarified that. He only sees you as a quick sex toy to use when he wants. When confronted with "is that the only reason you called" how easy is it to know the answer you're looking for is "no". You said he is a liar -- well, he is also a user - and you are done with allowing this loser to use you. So leave it where it lies. As nothing. And move on. He is not worth your time or energy. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 22, 2007 Share Posted April 22, 2007 He is definitely yanking your chain, never admitting fault but also never giving anything more than nothing. I'm uncertain why you value his friendship beyond wanting him but not as a friend. Don't continue pursuing someone who's emotionally detached, especially when you're so vulnerable right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dahling Posted April 22, 2007 Author Share Posted April 22, 2007 The last thing I see from this guy is any attempt at a genuine friendship. I'm not sure why anyone would choose to be friends with someone who lies, gaslights, plays head games, is controlling, is passive aggressive and above all wants to use you for sex. You will really need to evaluate the exact nature of what compels you to be friends with this guy. Do you honestly want to be friends with someone who treats you that way, or are you looking for any excuse to keep him in your life on some level and call that "friends"? You are holding on to someone that doesn't exist, I'm afraid. You want the "him" that you wish he could be, not the guy he really is. He will never live up to that, and the sooner you realize that the sooner you can move on with your life and find love and genuine friendships. you're absolutely right. :[ Link to post Share on other sites
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