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Keeping our Friendship/Relationship Separate?


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WishingWell04

I won't go into all the details, but I am dealing with a bit of a puzzling situation. I am good friends with a female co-worker, and have been for quite a while. I have talked to her about the possibility of wanting more two times, with the clear intent that I don't think anything should happen while we are working together (company policy). First time, she said its not the right time, but down the road, its possible. Second time, several months later, she said she was not interested (though for various reasons which I won't go into, I think her comments were forced). She is not dating at all. Anyway, she has long talked to me about her friends and personal life in great detail. I am ok with being friends, and would like to do stuff with her outside of the office, but she doesn't seem to want to include me. I mean, I have never met one of her friends. Why talk about them so much, yet not invite me to get togethers, etc.? Is she keeping our friendship separate? Thoughts?

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LucreziaBorgia

She is keeping you at a distance because she knows how you feel, does not want to date you and does not want to give you the impression that she would like to. A person in her position would not be likely to want to spend a lot of time with someone they know likes them, but that they don't like back in that way - too much of a fear of leading them on.

 

Being your friend in a controlled environment like the office keeps it in the 'safe' zone. Being your friend outside of work, and including you in her outside life is too risky.

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