Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[polywog]

<As of 11/12/2015, moderation has closed this thread and started a new one on this topic, which can be found at this link:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/556556-no-contact-support-thread-post-here-instead-contacting-your-ex

 

Thanks!>

 

OK, it seems a few of us have had a rough time with the darned NC. I had fantasies today of unloading all this anger, longing, and "WTF" onto my ex. I am creating this thread as a place for all of us in pain to post instead of contacting Ms/Mr ex. It could actually be kind of fun, at least a release.

 

I had a friend with a terrier dog who used to look out the window and whenever he saw another dog or squirrel or whatever dogs want to kill he would grab the nearest object and shake it furiously, all the while glaring at the object of his hatred, and barking/growling with his mouth full. It was hilarious and poignant, and I have to say, I relate to that pup!

 

What would you like to tell him or her? Even if it's been building up for years, post it here! Rage-fest! Longing-fest! DO NOT CONTACT that frigging ex, put it all here!!

Edited November 12, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Trialbyfire]

Sorry polywog, I'd rather sharpen my claws on the perp...

[polywog]

Sorry polywog, I'd rather sharpen my claws on the perp...

 

OK, then let's include the awful perps here as well! Let the fun begin!!!

 

Hey, can't we vent at both? Why not?

[Teacher's Pet]

*picks up phone*

 

*dials ex*

 

Hey, B... it's me.

 

Yeah....Me! What, you forgot me?

 

Does this ring a bell? "OOOOOH!!! MY CAPTAIN! MY CAPTAIN!"

 

Yeah, THAT "me".

 

Just wanted to say hi, see what's up, and let you know that you are dirty, filthy wh**e, and everyone knows it!

 

You are miserable, friendless, and take whatever brief comfort you can from spreading your legs for every guy that walks by!

 

Oh, how do I know this? I still hang out with your friend C....

 

Yeah, remember him? Your so-called "best friend" that you let down when he REALLY needed you?

 

Yeah, you have a habit of hurting the people close to you. I guess telling your mom that she'll never be a grandmother was just the start, huh?

 

You kicked your ex out on her (yes, HER) ass, and even threw half of her stuff in the street because she didn't move out fast enough for you. That was really considerate, right?

 

Your cousin just got married and he's already cheating? That's awful. I guess it's even worse that you let him use you as an alibi so he can get away with it, too!

 

When you dumped me in a text message, I thought it was the worst possible thing someone could do.

 

Well, I just want to thank you. You didn't dump me.

 

You FREED me. You freed me to find the life I want, the friends I want, and the happiness I deserve.

 

It's too bad you are incapable of finding it for yourself.

 

I actually feel sorry for you. Your parents are really good people, it's a shame their daughter turned out to be a total ass.

 

Well, it was fun catching up with you.

 

Go f*ck yourself. (actually, this is/was an inside joke we had)

 

*click*

 

-tp

ahh, that's the stuff

[polywog]

OK, this is the pissed-off version, inspired by tp's brilliant post. I will post the longing one maybe later in the thread. Maybe.

 

Oh, Hi R. I see you have a pot belly now; seems you've been eating crap since I moved out. Guess your new gf isn't much of a cook, like I am. Oh sorry. Didn't mean to point this out. I've heard she's bulemic, is this true?

 

So, when are you going to work on the garden? I usually have spinach, peas, and radishes started by now. You told me that you can't wait to plant things differently than I did in the garden I created. Just curious. It's looking a little neglected. The frost date? No, it's not yet. No, I'm not telling you when it is. You're the gardener now, right? You don't need me to tell you about it.

 

Geez, I have to stop for the time being because I am worried that I will start to sound like Seung-Hui Cho.

 

To be continued....this is just the tip of the iceberg....the garden thing pushes my buttons....

[coco_milkshake]

Hey F,

 

How you doing? Wow, still not got a girl yet? I guess you cant find someone stupid enough to tell your soppy stories to eh? Yeah stories cos thats what they are. You are a pathetic excuse for a human being who lives off sympathy for people to notice you. That aint something to be proud of mate.

 

Lol I laughed so hard when I heard about your little stunts to get me jealous. You bragging about shagging a couple of lassies in a club to a friend on the phone when everyone noticed that there was no one on the other side. What girl woud come near you anyway? I dont know what the hell I saw in you.

 

You are a liar and a loser but there is definitely one thing I have to agree with you on. I am waaaay out of your league and we both know I can do a lot better than you.

 

I feel sorry for the next girl you date and I hope for her sake she finds out what a lying, pathetic snake you are. Thank you for freeing me.

[2ndIINone]

*dials*

 

*ring riiiing.... ring riiing.... ring riiiiing....*

 

Hmmm... she must have caller id and still screening my calls.

[polywog]

Oh, Hi again R.

 

Your new girlfriend left town again and she hasn't called you? Gosh, that's too bad. I thought maybe after having to put up with me for all those years you'd have found real love at last. I know she has dated every skanky guy in town for a few months at a time, but surely you are different for her, the real thing. And even though I have heard she is a flake, I don't really think you should listen to that stuff. So what if the bill collectors are after her? She moves every few months so they'll never catch up. Shows that she has some street smarts....

 

To be continued....

[hurtbeyondwords]

*picks up phone*

 

*dials ex*

 

Hey, B... it's me.

 

Yeah....Me! What, you forgot me?

 

Does this ring a bell? "OOOOOH!!! MY CAPTAIN! MY CAPTAIN!"

 

Yeah, THAT "me".

 

Just wanted to say hi, see what's up, and let you know that you are dirty, filthy wh**e, and everyone knows it!

 

You are miserable, friendless, and take whatever brief comfort you can from spreading your legs for every guy that walks by!

 

Oh, how do I know this? I still hang out with your friend C....

 

Yeah, remember him? Your so-called "best friend" that you let down when he REALLY needed you?

 

Yeah, you have a habit of hurting the people close to you. I guess telling your mom that she'll never be a grandmother was just the start, huh?

 

You kicked your ex out on her (yes, HER) ass, and even threw half of her stuff in the street because she didn't move out fast enough for you. That was really considerate, right?

 

Your cousin just got married and he's already cheating? That's awful. I guess it's even worse that you let him use you as an alibi so he can get away with it, too!

 

When you dumped me in a text message, I thought it was the worst possible thing someone could do.

 

Well, I just want to thank you. You didn't dump me.

 

You FREED me. You freed me to find the life I want, the friends I want, and the happiness I deserve.

 

It's too bad you are incapable of finding it for yourself.

 

I actually feel sorry for you. Your parents are really good people, it's a shame their daughter turned out to be a total ass.

 

Well, it was fun catching up with you.

 

Go f*ck yourself. (actually, this is/was an inside joke we had)

 

*click*

 

-tp

ahh, that's the stuff

 

Wow, that was great! You were really dumped through a txt message? I would definitely say you were freed.

[Teddy and Jane]

*picks up phone*

 

*dials ex*

 

Hey, B... it's me.

 

Yeah....Me! What, you forgot me?

 

Does this ring a bell? "OOOOOH!!! MY CAPTAIN! MY CAPTAIN!"

 

Yeah, THAT "me".

 

Just wanted to say hi, see what's up, and let you know that you are dirty, filthy wh**e, and everyone knows it!

 

You are miserable, friendless, and take whatever brief comfort you can from spreading your legs for every guy that walks by!

 

Oh, how do I know this? I still hang out with your friend C....

 

Yeah, remember him? Your so-called "best friend" that you let down when he REALLY needed you?

 

Yeah, you have a habit of hurting the people close to you. I guess telling your mom that she'll never be a grandmother was just the start, huh?

 

You kicked your ex out on her (yes, HER) ass, and even threw half of her stuff in the street because she didn't move out fast enough for you. That was really considerate, right?

 

Your cousin just got married and he's already cheating? That's awful. I guess it's even worse that you let him use you as an alibi so he can get away with it, too!

 

When you dumped me in a text message, I thought it was the worst possible thing someone could do.

 

Well, I just want to thank you. You didn't dump me.

 

You FREED me. You freed me to find the life I want, the friends I want, and the happiness I deserve.

 

It's too bad you are incapable of finding it for yourself.

 

I actually feel sorry for you. Your parents are really good people, it's a shame their daughter turned out to be a total ass.

 

Well, it was fun catching up with you.

 

Go f*ck yourself. (actually, this is/was an inside joke we had)

 

*click*

 

-tp

ahh, that's the stuff

 

Actually I don't see anything wrong with telling your mom she won't be a grandma. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to have children, she was just being upfront with her mom that she didn't plan on having any kids.

Also you have no idea if she is happy or not, she might be ecstatic with her life right now. Hearing it from a "former best friend" who she supposedly let down or whatever isn't really a reliable source to get unbiased info from, lol.

[Trialbyfire]

*ring, ring*

 

"Hi Honey,"

 

"I've been thinking about you a lot lately so I wrote you a limerick."

 

"There once was a man from Nantucket,

Who always tried to...getsome,

His wife found this out,

When she felt a little doubt,

Now he can only pee using a bucket."

 

"I do hope you like it."

 

"Hugs. Catcha' later...or should I say good luck being able to catch anything again?"

 

"Arsehole."

 

*click*

[pelagicsands]

Now he can only pee using a bucket."

Ouch. I guess he deserved it.

"Arsehole."

I have a thing for arseholes.

[Trialbyfire]

Ouch. I guess he deserved it.

It never really happened but...this is a fantasy thread so I wanted to incorporate my fantasy.

 

I have a thing for arseholes.

You do indeed. Btw, he's a very large arsehole and he's available.

[pelagicsands]

It never really happened but...this is a fantasy thread so I wanted to incorporate my fantasy.

Your secret is safe with us.

, he's a very large arsehole and he's available.

I can't say that he has very good taste, letting you go.

[Trialbyfire]

I can't say that he has very good taste, letting you go.

He didn't have a choice. When you've been run over by a bus, it's difficult to chase after the driver...

[pelagicsands]

When you've been run over by a bus, it's difficult to chase after the driver...

I'll keep waiting at the bus stop, then.

[Teacher's Pet]

Actually I don't see anything wrong with telling your mom she won't be a grandma. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to have children, she was just being upfront with her mom that she didn't plan on having any kids.

Also you have no idea if she is happy or not, she might be ecstatic with her life right now. Hearing it from a "former best friend" who she supposedly let down or whatever isn't really a reliable source to get unbiased info from, lol.

 

It used to really make her mom upset to know this, and she'd keep reminding her about it, to really rub it in. I was a witness to this, and it was just awful. Her mom almost ran out of the room, crying.

 

And yes, I do know she's not happy, I have a few credible "sources".

 

Do I care? Not really, since her happiness or lack of has no true bearing on MY life, but knowing that she can't find anyone better than me DOES make me smile a bit.

 

-tp

BETTER.

[shockandawed]

Hello L,

 

Just wanted to check in and see how you are, well not really. I really wanted to let you know how I am.

 

It is amazing what a little time away from any contact with you can do for my ability to both heal and see things for the way they truly are. You see, I spent some time in real heartbreak, probably the harshest of my 42 years on this planet. But I have finally realized that what I was missing wasn't you, but the feeling of having someone who I thought cared deeply about me.

 

You did that well, or at least pretended well. But that is your personality. I will admit I never have felt as loved by someone as I did you..and I missed that terribly. But, I have never seen someone whose entire mood and personality could change so quickly.

 

I know, somehow your crazy temper was my fault. That explains why you have lived in the same small town your entire life, yet, have no friends. Or that you are the only person I have ever been close to in my life to have had a restraining order placed on them. I know, not your fault, it's the crazy neighbors fault. You were just standing up for yourself...uh umm..I have never fought with anyone or been as verbally abused by anyone like I was you. I will never be again either. I think alot of my anguish over the last months has been at myself for tolerating such crap from you. I guess I was addicted to the A side. That is what sucks, your A side is so appealing, you do have the ability to be something very special, but....

 

Yes, I hate myself for all the compromising I did for our relationship. All the lies you told that I somehow found excuses for. I hate myself for the way I would walk on eggshells and allow you to say horrible and nasty things because I wanted to salvage the evening. I knew you were unable to control your temper and anything I said to disagree with you would result in a severe blowup and you stomping away. Usually followed by several days of you turning your phone off and going into hiding. Then when you would resurface, everything would be dropped so I could get the pawning and affection back. Yes, I hate myself for that.

 

You were right, the weekends and such was fantasy and not real world. Your "A" side was always on when we were alone and away. And somehow I always believed that if I perservered, I would eventually get that all the time. It clouded what was the real world and the real you....

 

Why are you so insecure and miserable? Is it because your parents "left" you when you became an adult and moved away? Or their later and hostile divorce? You married young, immediately went from him to me, (yes, another thing I hate myself for) and then when you were convinced I wasn't going to marry you right away, you find someone else and dump me.

How is that relationship? Yes, I could sense the immediate love you felt for him when you posted that profile on the internet within a month. So much for the butterflies...or the complete hostility you showed me the last time we chatted when you teed off on me and then ended it with you were getting married in May and logged off. I can sense the bliss and happiness you are feeling there. Have you been able to come up with any other positives about your future husband other than he is convenient as he lives near you? As you said, no effort..Maybe you should marry him now after 4 months, if you give him any time at all to know you, chances are he won't either.

 

As for me? Well, I will admit to having tough go of it early on. But with time, things got clearer. I had the opportunity to reconnect with some very close friends. (I know, you don't know what that is) and I value that very much. I have learned to go out alone and have fun with myself. And yes, I have had several dates. At first, no one stood a chance and I wasn't really into it, but as time went on, I started enjoying it more. I have met some wonderful women and a few I consider friends still. But unlike you, I wasn't going to settle with the first one. You know, when I least expected it, someone came along who might have the potential to steal my heart again. It's still early, just a couple of weeks along..( I know, that is time to talk marriage in your book), anyhow, I prefer taking it a little slower. In the couple of weeks however, I have learned more about her past and life in general than I knew about you in nearly 3 years. Of course, when people aren't lying and hiding things, it is easier to learn those things. I still shutter when I think about what skeletons are probably still lurking in your closet. You would love her, attractive, slender and well...uh umm. And get this, she also has a personality and a sense of humor, she is independent and is self secure...wow..she has friends and actually has a life. I am not proclaiming her Mrs. Right yet, but regardless, I now realize there are better fish in the pond.

 

 

Regardless of the heartache, I am thankful for the last few months. It has made me a better person. I have met and made some amazing new friends and have reconnected with some old ones. I am a better father, friend and potential mate. I have had experiences I wouldn't have had in our relationship. I will always cherish the weekends and the "A" side, but I know there will always be the other side to you. The one that has affected you your entire life.

 

You have never learned what makes you happy. You are heading for a life as a bitter and lonely old woman. Sucks to be you...........

[silentcharon]

Dear Ex(es),

 

You all suck. I can't see how I dated you in the first place. I hope you all have a good life, because I'm living it up!

 

I'm moving to B.C., and hopefully, I will never have to see any of you again.

 

SC

[stace79]

Dear M,

 

Drop dead. You will never even dream of the remote possibility of having a woman like me in your life again. You are incapable of loving others, only yourself. You are a user, a taker, an emotional vampire.

 

You chose your "ex" over me, but in a few months' time, I will thank you. You not only don't deserve me as a girlfriend or wife, you don't even come close to deserving me as a friend. You never wanted to stay friends with me, you just wanted ME to be YOUR friend.

 

Your ex is a trailer-trash, manipulating, conniving b!tch. She snapped her fingers, and you came running back like the bewildered little dog you are. She will play with you for a little while, and then in six months or less, you will come crying back to me wanting another chance.

 

Sadly for you, your manipulation and games are no good here anymore. In the past few days of NC, I have realized that I may have had strong feelings for you, and we may have had some good times together, but you could never give me what I need. I was only deluding myself. You can barely take care of yourself, much less anyone else or a family. You are completely dependent on others to help you, and you require others to build up your self-worth.

 

I hope that you and your ex are happy, and I hope that the twice a year you actually get laid with her is absolutely wonderful.

 

Again, both of you can drop dead.

Best wishes.

[stace79]

To my ex's ex:

P.S. The same day he told you he wanted to give things a shot with you again, he was having sex with me. Three times. I think that's more than you ever gave it up in a year with him.

 

A week after he said he wanted to give things a shot with you again, he was texting me "I love you."

 

Two weeks after he said he wanted to give things a shot with you again, he came and picked me up from my apartment so that I could spend the night with him.

 

He is still jealous when I go out with other people. He still gets a hard-on for me. He still says he loves me, and he has said "I want to date you, but I have to resolve this issue in my life with my ex."

 

So there you go. I hope you enjoy that he is using you, too. He wants to "resolve" the issue of you, so he can "move on" with me. Congratulations. You tried so hard to "win" him back while he was with me. Really, congratulations. You've won such a wonderful prize.

 

Drop dead.

[Art_Critic]

Dear Ex(es),

 

You all suck.

 

you forgot : You are all a total waste of skin

[Calibabe2007]

Gosh, I have so many things I'd like to say to the one who stole and broke my heart. I have had no contact with him for 2 months. I am the one who told him that if he chose not to continue the relationship (I won't go into the reasons - I've seen too many posters on these forums bashed because people here don't approve of their relationships) I would never contact him again. I am true to my word. It's been hard though. I guess it's getting easier, the more time passes, but sometimes I sit and stare at my cell phone and think about texting him a "hi" or calling him to say hi or emailing him to say hi and see how he's doing - but I won't. When I think like that, I usually try to find something else to keep me busy. It still hurts though. I was so in love with him, and he with me, but the circumstances surrounding our relationship just would not permit our relationship to flourish.

 

I know it may seem lame, but our breakup feels like the feelings I had when a very close family member died. It hurts so bad. I never even had the chance to say goodbye to this person (not the dead person - okay, well, I didn't get to say goodbye to him either). He told me (via telephone) he was leaving to go back to his home state. I asked him when he was going and he said "tomorrow morning". I feel like there was never any closure, even though if I did have the opportunity to say goodbye, it would still have sucked!!!

 

I am trying to get over him and all of this emotional stuff, but I am still in love with him. I wonder if he's suffering as much as I am. Probably not. Hes a guy and he's probably already moved on and probably doesn't even remember my name!!! Yeah, I'm obsessing over nothing.

[Teacher's Pet]

I am trying to get over him and all of this emotional stuff, but I am still in love with him. I wonder if he's suffering as much as I am. Probably not. Hes a guy and he's probably already moved on and probably doesn't even remember my name!!! Yeah, I'm obsessing over nothing.

 

Gee, my ex is a girl, and I feel the same way about her.

 

Except the whole "love" part.

 

She dumped me and moved on without a second thought.

 

-tp

the "starter" boyfriend

[Calibabe2007]

TP the "starter" boyfriend. That's funny! I guess you could call me Calibabe the "convenient" girlfriend.