Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[AriaIncognito]

If you are NC with someone and you do so much as send an email, a text, heck leave an away message on IM, you are breaking NC.

 

It's very easy to break NC, and for the most part, highly not recommended....

[AriaIncognito]

I've been wanting to contact my ex to tell him how angry he's made me, but I know that is fruitless, so I'll do it here instead...

 

*******************************************************

 

Dear X,

 

It was really nice of you to come back into my life in May, when YOU needed the ego boost. When YOU were feeling lonely and needed someone to pick you up and make you feel desired. Really, thank you SO MUCH for letting me be your emotional waste basket once again. Thanks for showing up to a concert I was attending, assuming that away message was for you. The world doesn't revolve around you, you know, and there are other people it very well could have been for. Fact of the matter is, that away message came for you at a time YOU needed it and you jumped because of your OWN selfish needs. You didn't give a sh*t that you knew you still didn't want me. You made me feel like you missed me and like you could possibly be seeing what it was you lost. We ended up seeing eachother a few times as a result of that encounter, and yes even ended up sleeping together. I know my emotions were true, and it saddens me deeply that you could do anything on such false pretences.

 

Thanks for that last wednesday night we spent together before you went away, where you had told me about how GREAT a date when between you and one of your jd@te girls. It felt like ONE MILLION daggers going into my HEART to see you so happy and optimistic about her. I wanted nothing more than for you to leave my home the instant that happened, but I was a polite host, and allowed you to stay for dinner and watch a movie with me. It was the longest most uncomfortable night of my life. When you left, you said "have a nice few weeks" because you knew you were leaving for vacation and to be honest I assumed I'd never hear from you again. So, when I got an email from you the friday before you left, I was surprised. You went away for 2 weeks and honestly I thought you'd be emailing me again since well, you seemed to not care about my feelings ever so why not right, but I guess I know why you haven't emailed. You've dropped me for your new toy. Someone new has walked into your life. Someone you will inevitably put through this same sh*t you're putting me through, because you put T before me through the EXACT same thing. I should have ran when I read her blog and saw you did the same things to her, but I didn't because I assumed we were different.

 

I didn't want you to contact me after vacation, because while you were away, I also found out that you used to go to massage parlors and receive happy endings from strangers which you were with your LIVE IN girlfriend of 4+ years. However even though I didn't want it, I can't say it hasn't hurt. You've not been online, you've not emailed, you've not called. It's obvious youre with the new girl and moved on, and well, I wish you the best of luck. Now, you're somebody elses problem.

 

Me, I'm going to take my time and concentrate on helping myself feel good without needing a man to validate that. You should have done the same, but well, you dont know how to stand on your own two feet without someone pulling on your d*ck.

 

I hope you read this. I hope you google my name and find this. Good for you. It's a great way for you to find out how appauling I've found your behavior to be. And don't be surprised when you see other people saying youre appaulling, too.

[Teacher's Pet]

And don't be surprised when you see other people saying youre appaulling, too.

 

Dear Mr. X:

 

You sir, are appalling.

 

My mother told me to only pick on people my own size, so I'll leave it at that.

 

-tp

proud to be her Jew#2

[Shana555]

*dials*

 

*ring riiiing.... ring riiing.... ring riiiiing....*

 

Hmmm... she must have caller id and still screening my calls.

 

 

Hey I just got the same thing!!! Except I didn’t get the third ring because he killed the call and forwarded me to voicemail.

 

I'm sure you were being sarcastic there, but yah. I'm not.

 

Dang, wish I logged on earlier and saw this thread before I gave in to the urge to call.

 

 

Last week he was Mr., ‘I changed, I want to be with you more then anything in the world!!! <INSERT PROMISES HERE> Let me prove it!!!’

 

To three days later being same ‘ol buttmonkey.

 

 

And I was doing so good too before I talked to him last week... I only returned his call last week to give my sympathies for a really sick close family member, and to see how he was doing. . He knows I’m going through the same thing with a parent, and I’m vulnerable. I feel like he used all this to pull me back in. Then threw me right back out.

 

This really proves that ex's NEVER change and NC should never be broken

 

 

gawd...... I'm soooooooo

[the_otherhalf]

What I would say to him if I wanted him to know what I thought:

 

I'm glad that you've finally found the time in your outstandingly busy schedule of drinking excessively and dating sorority bitches to realize that I'm gone. Twenty days later, 20 days too late, it really means a lot.

 

So you want to resurrect our friendship that has never existed, repair things that are beyond f*cked up? Interesting. Best of luck and godspeed.

 

You brain hasn't failed you: You have created a serious chasm in our relationship, perhaps even ruined it, just like you wrote. But you say that this is something that you would never be able to forgive yourself for?

 

Two months ago was something that I'll never be able to forgive you for. You don't do this to someone you love. You work through thick and thin. You don't give up.

 

Your actions have spoken much louder than your words, so much so that I don't really need to hear your words, and mostly because your words contradict your actions.

 

If I am as great as you butter me up to be and if you value our "friendship" as much as you claim, you would find a way to contact me in reality, not through the electronic black hole of our generation.

 

You want to get together to talk about the last few weeks, but I already know everything you've done. I don't need anymore salt in my wounds.

 

You have my phone number, you know where I live. You told me that you always gave 110 percent, but right now your grades are failing.

 

You're full of sh*t, and with every bit of my heart, I believed in it. You dished it out, and now you can pretend, but you can't change anything.

 

So you wanted to take a break,

Slow it down some and have some space.

Well f*ck you too.

[AriaIncognito]

What I would say to him if I wanted him to know what I thought:

 

 

Your actions have spoken much louder than your words, so much so that I don't really need to hear your words, and mostly because your words contradict your actions.

 

 

Amen to that. My ex would be all chummy with me action wise, but words wise always be all "i'm conflicted' or "i dont know" or blah blah. Well if you don't know, grow a pair and walk away. FOR GOOD. I walked because I got tired of waiting for that pair to appear. He now appears to be seeing someone else and is no longer my problem.

 

Now I just need to find my next problem.

[jackmerridew]

This is great primal scream therapy.

 

What I would say to her, uncut:

 

**** you you ****ing little princess who has everything for you and had daddy's and my money taking care of you and making sure your hair stayed dirty blonde.

 

I treated you like a ****ing queen. I bought you everything you wanted and that I could afford. I gave you a life that your friends envied.

 

You know what other, HOTTER girls said to me when I started dating you?

 

"You know, she's a really lucky girl to have a guy like you."

 

"I'm jealous."

 

"Just dump that bitch."

 

I didn't listen because I saw the good in you and you ****ing threw it away.

 

Karma is a bitch, and you'll get yours someday. Until then, enjoy the ****ing Tiffany and Co. necklace and Coach purse I bought you for your birthday last year.

 

Enjoy your new, honky-ass boytoy who's 7,000 miles away from you and you can't even touch or kiss again, and who is too ****ing dumb and poor to fly out to visit you unless his yacht-owning parents buy him a ticket.

 

Enjoy being with your idiot perverted guy friends, guys I KNOW who are so ****ing sleazy, they used to pay high school girls $200 an hour so they can **** them.

 

Enjoy your suburban rich kid gangsta friends that think they're so hard, but they wouldn't even DARE show their face around where my friends were at in Watts and Compton.

 

Enjoy being treated like a sex object for the rest of your life.

 

**** you, and I wish I could forget you in an instant.

[funkybassplayer]

Jello Tam, i think im on the way to healing. Sundays were always hard because your with your new guy, and im sitting here moping. Well over the last week or so i have been feeling alot more calm, peacful and more myself. I guess i want to be that guy i was when you met me. Today i was thinking and posting away. Wow i must be a real strong guy.

 

Look what i got into;

 

A married woman in emotional contact with her hubby (him texting crap and her replying) 3 kids who were lost a long distance relationship. It was hard to get to know you with all the issues. Rather than a boyfriend i felt like a nurse a counciler a baby sitter a massarger a taxi firm and a punch bag for her to vent on when you felt crap. i was a stress ball for you You pulled me but i never broke, and if you gave me respect at the end i would still be there for you, but lets face it you have your new guy, you dont want me and thats ok. I dont wish any harm or sadness, and i hope that you and the kids will truly have a better life, and if this new chap can do that for you, then im happy. If our paths should cross again, i wont be bitter, or unhappy, life is too short for that. I really dont know if i would want to talk to you, but my nature is always look for the good in people. From what i saw you have a sadness in your heart and that you have a demon inside that needs to be freed. It is not fair to look for freedom from other people, you must create that yourself. If you dont i can see you being a lost and lonly person with man or not. I truly hope that it was not me that made you feel this way, but im sure you know i was always doing my very best for you and your family. I do of course miss you and the kids very much, but now im moving on with my life, and you are less and less in my thoughts. I cryed i felt the strongest emotions since dad died, but i think im over the worst. I really enjoy trying to help people on this site, and i hope i do. My only wish was that i met you when you were at peace with yourself, i think we could have been happy, very happy, but it was the wrong time. Please take the time you need to get better in your self, you have to be happy, and i truly wish this for you, and also for your childrens sake. x

__________________

[funkybassplayer]

Hello T i hope you and the kids are well. I have this strong urge to send this too you, but all my friends think write it and port it here. So its been 2 months since i last spoke to you, and i have been doing well, had a couple of dates but not my type, and have still not really been out much as i feel secure at home. Its funny how you just go out and drink, while im here picking up the peides of my broken life. George my parrot layed 2 egges this week so for sure a girl! WEll its the start of your school hols, and im really going to feel it i think, im going to miss going camping with you and your family, and i know Toney will be there instead of me, but im sure ill be just fine, and Makrk is off so we will do stuff. I dont really feel right to date just yet, inspite of what i said to you in our last convo. I guess i thought i was better than i was. I always wonder if things are going well between you both, im sure they are, but i wonder if you miss me. In your heart im sure you do, but like everything you'll keep that emotion stuck deep inside of you, but i hope 1 day it will re surface, and you will feel the pain. I woke up this morning, and i still have the urge to sell the house, so i will , and i feel that its a good thing for me, but will take some time, its not a good time to sell, but hopeing to be out by the end of the year, and the porche should be a bit cheper. I sent you an email 4 weeks ago telling you that the cheque i sent was no good. You coul'nt even respond with a quick ok so i know you got it? whats te reason for that? i mean are you so afraid of even sending a quike ok to a buissness email? or did you want me to call and ask if you got the message? hmmm well i wont you know. I hope you dont try to send the old cheque b/c they will add the fee to your account, and im not paying it. I have kept th email as proof. Im not sure if i should even send you a good cheque, as i felt pretty lousy over the treatment and games you played with me in the last weeks and just after our relationnship. Its not fair to beg some1 to be frieds, then toss then aside b/c they get in the way of your imediate plans. I could never do that to you, as i proved when you were crying to stay friends, i could not no way c you hurting, unyet you do it too me without even a care, in fact saying you will contact me, why? to keep my hopes to keep me on the burner. Well i too k the step, and posted your stuff and wallked away from you. I hope you know how much strenth it took to do this, you must, the last time i spoke to you, you know how much i yerned to speck to Ella, and Kai, but had to let them all go, for me, b/c i was urting so much. I gave you fabulos orgasams, but im not the type of guy who will do it at 10pm b4 bed time, i like it at 3am/4am etc, all i got from you was let me sleep! in fact your sleeping got on my nerves! VEN WHEN I PLANNED A LONG SCENIC ROUGHT AROUND WALES, WHAT DID YOU DO? SLEEP! and i was going up n down the vallys with u snoring in the next seat!!

 

 

I hope you remember all this, you were always moaning about something or another, how could you take money from your gran, that she gave you toward the morgae, and spend it on going out then cry to everyone your skint! god, you and your kids come first, thats what i wanted for you, to put your family first, not going out clubbing! you really pulled me throught the mill, Even you ex hubby cant give a **** about you anymore, b/c hes had time away from you, thats why he does not care if your skint or not, and why did you like the idea that he found it hard to move on from you, you bitch you let me sit there and look after you while he text you crap, and got upset, then you say you have no feelings, but wont divorce him? something did not add up, you bitch, why did you get into a relationship with me when you had so much **** to deal with? I was strong and stood by you but you never ****ing cared did you, you dont ****ing know how hard it was for me to deal with all your stupid issues than any normal woman would have had the decency to unload or at least work with me on them. Then your ****ing clubbing with that little bitch emma, she i know would say crap about me, you bitch, you should have been there for your poor lost children, not dump them off so you can get your fix of getting chatted up with your ugly hook nose friend emma!

 

At least i had the guts to tell you what i thought of all of it, and im sure it goes around in your head, that is why you have trouble sleeping and i dont. People tell me when you come sniffing for the money to ignor you, or tell you to sell the ring that i got for you for xmas. I hope by the time you do sniff for it, i will have the strenth to do just that, and i dont crumble undr your spell, i hope you email me to the old address where i wont c it. You know what, maybe that cheque not being valied happend for a reason, and maybe i should do what u did to me, ignor u and carry on as if nothing has happened! you took lots from me, and i willingly gave it to you, but you never took away my strenth, and you will never find some1 that was willing to go to hell and back as long as things were ok for you and your family, and i did it at the sacrifice of my own happyness, to clear a path for the future for us, and just when things were settling with your kids, and hubby, and i start to see a future, you end it! you ****in bitch, i hope you get yours one day, cause you made me suffer to the point of ending it all only a few weeks ago, while you were out having fun.............****ing tony, he was texting his ex, and told you i cany have anything to do with the kids after a week of knowing you,

 

cant you see what a prat this guy is going to be....well ill leave you both to it! i know in the long run i will find some1 that will treat me with love and respect,. and they will have all i gave to you and more. I invested my life into you, i put my pleasures on hold to be with you and help you overcome things, you took all your **** out on me, you made me feel 2nd best, you ****ing bitch rot in ****ing hell. This what im writing is coming out of me as i write it. I dont hate you, i dont want you back, but i want you to know how i felt, and how you can ****ing throw me aside like a used piece of garbege i have no idea. Well im gonna keep the guitar money, and you can moan and say what you lie, i wont feel bad, as i earned that a 1000 times over.

 

im SO glad i never sent you or your daugter a birthday card! ah ah do you think im a mug? im sure you expected one too! I may not be 6 foot, but no one was more man than me, and i would have fought every inch of the way with you if you would have been my true partner. You lost a great person in me, and one you will never find again, cos i know im specail.

[AriaIncognito]

I've really been wanting to contact the ex today. Because I really want to say some things to him. I realize I'm still only mourning the person and relationship I thought I had, and I realize there's no good in my contacting him, so I'm doing it here. This was triggered by another event in my life, one in which i was kinda "rejected" by someone for something music related.

 

*****************************************************

 

Hi. I'm not really sure why I'm contacting you. I know you've moved on, onto another woman who you think will be "better" than me or whatever. I respect that. You need to do what makes you happy. I also know you logged into the dating site a few days ago, so I wonder if you're up to your old tricks already with the new girl. I feel bad for new girl, if so, because she's probably done nothing to deserve your infidelity.

 

I wonder if you think of me. I dont understand how you just dropped me, our relationship, or friendship, when you claimed it was so important to you that we be friends. Sure, you could be "protecting" me by staying away when you truly do want a friendship, and i guess that's best. I just hate that I don't know if you think of me. Do you care about me? Wonder how I'm doing? Regret your decision? I know I shouldn't care. I know i'm mourning the death of a relationship I created in my mind. One of mutual respect and understanding. One where you loved me as much as I loved you. However, we both know that relationship never existed.

 

I'm so afraid that I'll never find that relationship. One where I feel for someone, the way I felt for you. I don't know why I chose you, but i did. And I truly wish I could go back and erase it all, to erase this pain, because you were never willing to let me in.

 

Are you letting new girl in? I doubt it. But at least she's J just like you, so you'll need to find a different excuse than religion. What will it be this time, I wonder?

 

I hope you're happy. I know I will be happy one day. I just had a bad day today and I'm thinking about all this negative crap. But my bad days will pass, and I'll still be the same good person I was, and I'll still have the heart i had, and I'll eventually share it with a man who's deserving of it.

 

Where will that leave you?

[funkybassplayer]

Hello Lady, i hope you and the kids are having a good holiday, and the suns out where you are. Well these boads on ls have seen all kinds of posts from me about you, angry, hurt, upset, sad, the lot, but i guess i was just going through the phase as so many of us do. There are some great people on here,and i will continue to write here for a while yet as its fun, and its good to give. what i have learned from our relationship, is that i have a very big heart, and i gave that to you and our children. It was not our time to be together, and i brought out alot of your own insuritys and you gave up on me. at the end of the day, you did love me, i have no dought of that, but darling, you have to look at yourself, to go back to what is causeing your inscuritys. If you dont, they will always come back in any relationship, and they will just keep failing, but you have kids, and they have to be protected, and loved. Please do this for them, love them like i did, put them before yourself, not the other way round. You are an amazing woman, bright intelligent clever sexy, but somewhere along the way you became lost. Go back thier, put it right. Honey, i learnd a great deal about myself, and i know that im doing just that. Im going back to my past, to find out where i went wrong, and to put it right. It will be emotionaly draining on me, but i have to learn to be happy by my self before i can give to anyone else. You went striat to another, to get whats missing from you-love. Go back baby, find that love in yourself. If your cup is empty, and you take from his, his will be empty. If your are both full, you will both be happy. Re fill your cup before you come to the table. Baby, i will always be here for you and your family, and if you do, i will tell you what i think, how to be whole, i will be your freind. Baby i know you loved me, and me you, i know at the end, i took it lightly, but i was protecting myself from hurt, i closed my self off from the pain, but the pain in the end was too great, i knew i had to find help and i have, and i know what i must do to be happy again. where ever you and the kids are, i send you all my love, and im trully hoping that you will one day come back into my life, on whatever level, and if you do, i will be in a better place in my head to help you if you need it. You take care for now babe, and enjoy, i will always be with you, and you will feel it through the love im sending you. xx

[9Lives]

I pray one day soon I will have the courage to not pick up your phone calls, not feel bad about ignoring you and honestly put less priority on your needs

 

AMEN.

 

Dear D:

Ditto.

 

God you said a mouth full. That is a really good prayer. I will pray the same thing myself. I am miserable. Why did I let him get so close to my heart. It is a nightmare everyday to wake up and deal with the pain

[farrer]

This is my first post.

I'm 3 weeks into her 'needing time to think' with my fiance of 7 months.

But truth be told I've been thinking like crazy for the last 3 months - kicking myself for having jumped too fast.

Yes, she's gorgeous, our values are close, we have fun with shared interests and I think I could 'fake-it-til-we-make-it.

But I don't really love her, but could, if:

So here goes:

 

Hi there sweetheart.

I miss you.

I've been thinking too.

I didn't know you well enough when we became engaged, even though we had been friends for a long time. I didn't know you were hiding so many fears and would project them onto me. I'm sorry I can't fix the world for you. I'm sorry that I'm not superman and that you'll acccept no less. I'm sorry that relationship failures have dominated your life for all these many years.

I didn't know that you're not who you say you are and I'm sorry that you can't open up about what you really feel and who you really are. I think if you did this we would have moved from being great friends to falling deeply in love.

As it is, I'm giving you the space you asked for to dance with your fears again. But I'm not so sure I want to be back.

I'll call it over for both of us when one month is up on August 4 if you haven't.

[9Lives]

Gosh, I have so many things I'd like to say to the one who stole and broke my heart. I have had no contact with him for 2 months. I am the one who told him that if he chose not to continue the relationship (I won't go into the reasons - I've seen too many posters on these forums bashed because people here don't approve of their relationships) I would never contact him again. I am true to my word. It's been hard though. I guess it's getting easier, the more time passes, but sometimes I sit and stare at my cell phone and think about texting him a "hi" or calling him to say hi or emailing him to say hi and see how he's doing - but I won't. When I think like that, I usually try to find something else to keep me busy. It still hurts though. I was so in love with him, and he with me, but the circumstances surrounding our relationship just would not permit our relationship to flourish.

 

I know it may seem lame, but our breakup feels like the feelings I had when a very close family member died. It hurts so bad. I never even had the chance to say goodbye to this person (not the dead person - okay, well, I didn't get to say goodbye to him either). He told me (via telephone) he was leaving to go back to his home state. I asked him when he was going and he said "tomorrow morning". I feel like there was never any closure, even though if I did have the opportunity to say goodbye, it would still have sucked!!!

 

I am trying to get over him and all of this emotional stuff, but I am still in love with him. I wonder if he's suffering as much as I am. Probably not. Hes a guy and he's probably already moved on and probably doesn't even remember my name!!! Yeah, I'm obsessing over nothing.

 

Since I feel the same way you did....how to do feel now? I need to know

[AriaIncognito]

Farrer - if you dont really love her, then you're doing the right thing by going NC and moving forward...it's unfair to both of you to settle.

[sao2]

Dear *****,

I hope everything is going well with you. I hope that this time apart has helped you understand what place ****** has in your life. I hope that you are happy and at peace with everything that has happened since you started this journey.

 

So it is my birthday. You are probable wondering why I am writing you on my birthday. Well sending this is my birthday present to myself.

 

I can't live life wondering if there was somehow something I could have done. You asked me for space, hopefully you have felt like I have given it to you despite my broken hearted warm wishes for your birthday.

 

Before this space was requested we had mentioned seeing each other in October when you got back from *******. I would still very much like to make plans to see you that weekend.

 

If you want to see me to just respond to this email with a yes, if you do not want to see me then please do me the favor of taking "our group" down, that way I can know that what we had is truly in the past.

Catch you on the flip,

Me

 

I want to send this, my ex went to volunteer in the country of her heritage for a year and the stress got to be too much for us. She requested space about 6 weeks ago. My birthday is next week so I have a few days.

[randuff]

What do you want from me?

When you have problems at work.

You call me.

When you are having a bad day.

You call me.

When you are alone and want to talk to someone.

You call me.

When your friends are bitchy and getting on you nerves.

You call me.

When someone asks who it is you love.

You tell them me.

When you need to feel loved and not used

You come to me.

When you think about who loves you inconditionally.

You think about me.

When you want stability and honesty.

You come to me.

 

But you don't WANT me.

I know you tell me to do whats right for me and be happy but

You are right for me.

 

I love you so much but I am going insane.....Help me let you go......

[frd150]

What do you want from me?

When you have problems at work.

You call me.

When you are having a bad day.

You call me.

When you are alone and want to talk to someone.

You call me.

When your friends are bitchy and getting on you nerves.

You call me.

When someone asks who it is you love.

You tell them me.

When you need to feel loved and not used

You come to me.

When you think about who loves you inconditionally.

You think about me.

When you want stability and honesty.

You come to me.

 

But you don't WANT me.

I know you tell me to do whats right for me and be happy but

You are right for me.

 

I love you so much but I am going insane.....Help me let you go......

 

Pretty much sums it up for me or at least most of it

[frd150]

Hi Hun,

 

Well here we are apart still after so many months. Last year at this time we were so in love and getting on great.Who would of thougt we would be here now. I dont even know if you realize how much of a blow I have taken over this. It came so outa nowhere. How was this all so easy to do for you? Why could you not open up to me about the way things were going or how you felt they were going? I could not fix what I did not know about.

 

So you left. You ran while i was gone.So much easier than facing it huh? Looking back that is how you handled problems.That morning you kissed me goodby was like all of our other mornings. You said you loved me. Maybe there was just enough love left in the tank for you to say that. But now?? I never stopped. I came home to a closet full of empty hangers. Your family who i do not think you realized I loved so much....Gone from my life as quick as you left.

 

Maybe what you did was so big that you felt that you could not take it back. Where you saving face,proving something to everyone?? But at what and whose expense.Our future together and me. We made so many plans together we both wanted the same things And I was so commited to you and those plans.The irony in all of this is that I was working so hard to achive this. Late nights, me being tired sometimes,well alot. I wanted us to have a goodlife. I wanted the best for our family. According to you this is what most of the problem was.Why did you not talk to me? You cannot go through life hinting to people about what you want. Im sorry that you felt you could not approach me. I regret this so much and I am sorry for it.

 

You told me that you felt unloved sometimes and for that I am sorry. You were never unloved. Think about your schedual? You worked alot of late nights. you would come home,Id be waiting with dinner mostly and the wanting to make you comfortable. I did not try to force myself on you because I respected you. You were not some f***k doll there for my pleasure. You were my partner, my best friend,my lover. Looking back I know that this made you feel not worthy. you should have told me.

 

Now your out and about. Hanging out with that sl*t from work. You used to be repulsed by people like her.Im sure she is fueling your angst towards me as she is doing it towards B your lifelong best friend. I can only imagine what she is telling you.She dosnt even know me or B for that matter. Hun,do not let people like this influence you. You are so much better than that and her. I hope you will realize it. I hear she is setting you up with guys that are not treating you well. Youve been down that road in the past many times. Do you want that again? You were my queen and thats how you should be treated.

 

On the other hand I want to thank you for waking me up. Without all this Would still most likely be doing the same ole thing. Now I am fit,I reconnected with friends who are good to me (and despite everything would love to hang out with you),Work is better I have lessoned my schedual so that I have alot more free time. Most important I have had time to think about my role in the breakup. I have learned what not to do and about priorities. Have you thought about it?? Or are you just existing? I hope it is the former and you have learned some lessons. Hun,if not it will happen again and again.

 

I hope you are truly well. I hope you are happy in your new life.

 

Love with all my heart,

 

FRD

[Hestia]

L., you're a moron and I hope you get herpes.

 

hum that's it.

[Melovator]

Dear X,

You're a f*cktard. Confusing hormones with love. You freaked about becoming a father and then all your friends had moved overseas, interstate or gotten pregnant themselves. And you being you always wanting to do the 'right thing' you didn't talk to me about it. 'Nothing's wrong'. So then you started talking to her, and she was not your friend.

The only time I ever laid eyes on that woman I wondered why she was so nervous around me, so eager to please, but caught up in the craziness of mummyland, a craziness feuled by your continuous exhortations of "I just need you to cope." when I was the one who got no more than two hours of continuous sleep for six months, I failed to connect any dots.

You are a fool, this woman has manipulated you. She would not have left her husband if you were a teacher, she likes her bling.

When I found out you said "we'll get through this", and I thought we could, but you didn't want to try so you got your 'easy way' leaving me and your son while still saying "I DOn't know, I don't know".

Now you're finding out that she's needier than you thought, that she's perhaps misrepresented herself in a number of significant ways. She's getting her divorce soon and what does she want from you? All the things you ran from, marriage, children, house. And she's desperate for those babies and you don't know that you want anymore.

Have fun boy, have a whole lot of fun.

 

 

I could keep going but feel strangely serene with just this...

[uniqueone]

Thanks Art,

 

Well, the fact that he was writing to me every day (and a few days before his last email I received 16 emails in one day) and being all sweet to me...

 

And then stopped from one day to the other for me to receive an email from her, telling me that I wasn't going to hear from him anymore because "she told him so"...

 

Has really really been of no help. I think that's what's made this the hardest to get over.

 

If it was because he was ditching me, sick of me, didn't like me, I think I would have moved on by now... I really have no problem doing that, and I've moved on from guys real fast before the moment they ditch me.

 

(Yeah, I guess in a way he did, but it's different)

 

Anyway, I won't bore you anymore.

 

Ariadne

 

Yeah, but what was DG saying in the 16 emails? He could have been nicely trying to get you to back off and you weren't getting it so that's why she wrote you. I don't know all the details but am just saying it could have been a number of things.

[uniqueone]

Quote:

Originally Posted by polywog

2) you learn to be happy by and with yourself.

 

Oh, and I really disagree with this. This 'rule' annoys me just like all the other 'empower thyself!' rules and mantras for dealing with a break-up. Whatever.

 

:(

 

 

This used to really bother me too. I'd say 'but that's impossible....what a bunch of crap!"

 

But....I agree now. The reason a person feels that it's impossible is that they're getting all of their self-worth from another person. It's because they're placing all of their happiness on a relationship....thinking that a relationship is going to GIVE them happiness..which it doesn't. But none of what I'm saying is going to mean anything until you figure it out and some people never do.

[sao2]

Dear *****,

I've missed you. But I think I am over it. I am looking into how to move my life forward now. Something I wasn't allowing myself to do while I was trying to figure out how we could be together.

Goodbye, goodluck, and thank you.

Me

[kirikat]

Ale, you are a complete dumbsh_t, letting someone like me get away. And you know the BEST part of it? For the rest of your life, every single lover you ever have is going to disappoint you.