Nevermind Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 Good. I was worrying you might be isolating yourself from other people. Keep it up! Link to post Share on other sites
Nevermind Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 ****. Why do I miss you so much today? Why do I feel like I need to get you back? AAAAAH. Link to post Share on other sites
LikeCharlotte Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Dear XSO- Do you know why you feel that way? You probably should. I appreciate that you responded but you don't have to be so guarded. You know I'd never hurt you. I had more to ask. Like why you never acknowledged my graduation. I accept the apology but, I just don't understand. Also, what am I supposed to do about running into you. If you talk to me like a total stranger now how can we "see how it goes?" I'm still scared to death to see you but I'm going to face it. What are you going to do? I know full well that you have been avoiding it. How long can that go on? You think it doesn't matter because for you I guess it doesn't or you pretend it doesn't. Can you teach me that trick? I love you and I'm sorry if I upset you. I hope I didn't but i can never really tell.. You give up nothing. I just want you to be ok with me, with this, in general. I'll do whatever it takes but its hard. Thank you for that. I know it was the best you can do. I really do understand. -Charlotte Link to post Share on other sites
Nevermind Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 I miss you so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Karyyk Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 I miss you so much. I know you're not happy. I saw you last week and you looked as miserable as I've ever seen you. I know you have your reasons, but I don't know why you're putting yourself through this hell. I'm worried about you, and I wish you'd let me help you, in some way. I'm still here...don't ever forget that. I'll be the same, I'll always be the same. Link to post Share on other sites
twice_shy Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Wow, and I got an infraction for asking someone to PM me. Link to post Share on other sites
notgoodatthis Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 :lmao:Jenny, you are rotten to the core. It amazes me how you can treat others with such disregard. I'm glad you got herpes when you cheated on me. Thanks for dumping me for him before you knew what you brought home from that cruise. I'm clean as a whistle and I hope whoever you are ****ing now knows how you got herpes. You are a worthless tramp. Link to post Share on other sites
Mollyanna Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Dear D: It didn't feel like a year since I had seen you. The last 2 weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster for me. I didn't expect to have these emotions for you. But you also proved in actions that we could never live together for long or I would be screaming at you every day. My god you were a sloppy thoughtless guest! And I became an irritated nag. Not a good match for matrimony. But I feel closer to you now than I have in some time. I know I need you in my life in some way. So how do I let go of the romantic and sexual feelings I have and keep the emotional connection that we share? How do I find someone who talks to me and looks out for me the way that you do? How do I find someone I want to kiss and hug as much as I do with you? You just left yesterday and I have done nothing but think of you. When the driver took you away to the airport, I stared out for a long time and cried even worse than what you even saw. I continued to sob when I reached my apartment and found how quiet and empty and clean it looked. This morning I reached out my foot to wrap around yours and you were not here. I couldn't even get out of bed. I miss you so much. I'm glad I finally told you I love you and you said it in return. Now where do I go from here? You are so far away and it will be six months before I see you again (if even then). I meant what I said, I don't think I can be platonic with you. So ...I may have to let you go completely. Even though it will rip me apart. Link to post Share on other sites
Teacher's Pet Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 Dear D: It didn't feel like a year since I had seen you. The last 2 weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster for me. I didn't expect to have these emotions for you. But you also proved in actions that we could never live together for long or I would be screaming at you every day. My god you were a sloppy thoughtless guest! And I became an irritated nag. Not a good match for matrimony. But I feel closer to you now than I have in some time. I know I need you in my life in some way. So how do I let go of the romantic and sexual feelings I have and keep the emotional connection that we share? How do I find someone who talks to me and looks out for me the way that you do? How do I find someone I want to kiss and hug as much as I do with you? You just left yesterday and I have done nothing but think of you. When the driver took you away to the airport, I stared out for a long time and cried even worse than what you even saw. I continued to sob when I reached my apartment and found how quiet and empty and clean it looked. This morning I reached out my foot to wrap around yours and you were not here. I couldn't even get out of bed. I miss you so much. I'm glad I finally told you I love you and you said it in return. Now where do I go from here? You are so far away and it will be six months before I see you again (if even then). I meant what I said, I don't think I can be platonic with you. So ...I may have to let you go completely. Even though it will rip me apart. *hugs his Mollyanna tightly* I think we need to talk... :) You know your favorite Jersey guy is a phone call/text message/20 minute bus ride away. -tp welcome home, sweetie:) Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 The above exchange could be a first... makes me wanna cry my f*cking eyes out. Link to post Share on other sites
hurting_in_MA Posted June 7, 2008 Share Posted June 7, 2008 When am I going to stop missing you? I am really, really trying to get over this. We have not spoken in over two months, and I still have such strong feelings for you. I hope that you are doing well. Link to post Share on other sites
HeartOnSleeve Posted June 7, 2008 Share Posted June 7, 2008 Gee, my ex is a girl, and I feel the same way about her. Except the whole "love" part. She dumped me and moved on without a second thought. -tp the "starter" boyfriend To the men on here.....why is it so easy for you to just move on? My ex doesn't even give me the respect to email or text back when we are supposed to be meeting up? Is it just easier for you to forget about us? Just curious. Anyone got any awnsers....hehehe. Link to post Share on other sites
fran82 Posted June 7, 2008 Share Posted June 7, 2008 "i miss your voice, and i miss your smile, i wish i could talk to you, but i know it wont so good in the long run. this weekend id decided id be strong enough to have a chilled out week end, watch some tv, read. i was so wrong, its been so hard cuz u keep creeping into my mind, i really want to talk to you, right now i cant stop crying. i miss you so bad. im so angry at myself for feeling this way, ive been doing so well, ive been getting on with things, trying to keep busy and putting on a happy face, but it doesnt work, it just delays how im really feeling. like ive made the biggest mistake of my life, like i want to be with you again. i've always loved you, and i just wished you'd love me enough to not be afraid. i miss you, im so afraid that i'll never ever see you again, i just wish you loved me enough" Link to post Share on other sites
v33 Posted June 8, 2008 Share Posted June 8, 2008 Just would like to thank you again for sleeping with the guy next door last year. It's really fantastic to see him every day and have to think about you giving yourself to him when you wouldn't sleep with me. It's really sick you did that, especially while I was working overnights to try and make a better life for us. It's so sad what alcohol has turned you into. And you will never get better because you continue to blame me for your unhappiness. The first step is admitting you have a problem. Frankly, I don't care if you ever get better. Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted June 8, 2008 Share Posted June 8, 2008 To the men on here.....why is it so easy for you to just move on? My ex doesn't even give me the respect to email or text back when we are supposed to be meeting up? Is it just easier for you to forget about us? Just curious. Anyone got any awnsers....hehehe. HOS, you're her. I'm him. Proof that men don't forget, don't move on so quick. "I wonder how you spend your day. Do you think about me and maybe shed a tear, once the day has died down and you're alone with your cats, and your thoughts? I see you getting out of the shower with a towel on your head. In front of the mirror, putting on makeup. Brushing your teeth, gathering your bookbags. Closing your front door on the way out at 7 AM. A long day of high school kids, raised hands, questions asked and answered. You come home to grade. Sip a cup of tea. Then maybe you think of me. I don't care if I'm an as*hole in your mind, or a sweetheart. Just as long as you think of me. Put your head on your pillow and click off the lamp. I still love you." Link to post Share on other sites
HeartOnSleeve Posted June 8, 2008 Share Posted June 8, 2008 Dear Ex, I know you told me how you react, but men always make a hard situation look easy by nature. You have always thought diffrenlty to me..LOL. I think that at some point in everyones life there are hard times and great times. I would like to think that the good times will outway the bad. But when you love someone you have to accept that at some point they will go through a rough time and that's when you need to communicate and be there for one another. I can remember our first fight and it was when I decided to move and I was exhausted from working all week really early and just wanted to be with you and you had planned a night out with all your friends, a Friday if I recall. I snapped out of stress and being tired and sick. The stress of the move brought me to my boiling point and therefore I pushed you away and you in return did the same to me. Please consider that around this time your friends, Jon especially did not make things any easier. In fact it just made me insecure and feel akward when we went out with them. I know you tried to handle it but it was still a hard situation for both of us and one that I will never understand. Looking back I wish I had done things diffrently overall, especially the last Sunday night. I should have let it go and I should have gone with you to get frozen yogart and watched the movie and just been more understanding to the fact that you were stressed. I wasn't helping your situation, but only hurting you more. I do not agree with us not talking at this time, I do not beleive it will help "us" or either of us indivduallly. I have never been more heart broken and unhappy then I am at this point and it hurts more to not know if you got the job, or if you rented your place, or even if Lauren made CI etc, but most of all not hearing your voice or having you to talk to in the beggining and end of each day. I am trying to give you space and time to figure out your stuff, but all I feel myself doing is growing more distant from you and feeling like we will never move past this. I tend to get my hopes up...when I see a silver mustang pull up the street, I think to myself if it's you or little things like that. Then I also, wonder if you and your friends are releived that our relationship might actually be over and they have you back to be the ultimate wingman to go get girls etc. and if you are actually taking the oppurtunity to be with those girls. Again, this is not how I pictured things going in my head, but it is reality. It hurts to think you don't want to contact me and if I did try to contact you it would most likely be ignored and pushed aside. I guess I should take a hint and swallow my hope, and relaize that since you havn't been in touch that means you are done working on us and I need to move on. (I wrote this a month ago).... Link to post Share on other sites
HeartOnSleeve Posted June 8, 2008 Share Posted June 8, 2008 His email in plain text ...my responce in bold. Dear Ex, So, here it goes… I'm sorry if it looks easy, but it isn't. I told you - that is how I deal with sadness, and is how I always have. I also wish that we could make it work, and I am constantly trying to think of how to make it work. I do trust you, but ever since I was little I have kept things to myself. I think differently, why should bad things always accompany good things? Why can't we only have it good? Well it's been a week, and I haven't heard a thing from you.... I hope you are doing well and got the job with one of two companies you were a canidate with, and that you were able to rent out your place, and tell C to go shove it! hehehe. It's not that I think there has to be bad things, but in life, there is a mixture and I didn't mean with "us", I meant idivdually. Isn't your job a bad situation and not having your townhouse rented. That is what I meant. I have to take the good and the bad that come with you. My feelings for you haven't changed, and I too, loved all the times we shared….Movies, wine, walks, bagels, dog parks, lazy Sundays, Disneyland. Somewhere along the way things changed – I only wish I could put my finger on the exact time that they did. We started bickering, I grew distant, and we came to where we are today. I can tell you when we started having problems, and I can also, take some of that blame. I realize that I pushed you away with my attitude and high expectations (set by you). Our first fight was on a Friday after I decided to try and move and was stressed becuase my parents were not on my side. I had been getting to work around 5:45-6am so that I could rush down to see you. This was probably in Feb. the weekend before Valentines Day. I was exhuasted and sick from stress and took it out on you. Which I have learned my lesson, IS NOT OK. Then we started bickering becuase I was feeling insecure and it didn't help that your friends started to dislike me at that time. It made things akward and I know you tried to help and fix that situation but you had to know how hard that was on me and I'm sure you as well. Then I moved and just exploded becuase all the little expectation I had built up via you, were not happening and I felt like you were taking me for granted becuase I lived so close and there was no need for you to see me or anything, really it was you being distant and stressed with your own problems to deal with that you did not share with me. Communication break down #1! I do not feel it was us that was the problem, it was the lack of communication on both our parts...I did it poorly and you didn't do it at all. I know that you love me and that you would do anything for me. I would do anything for you as well. – I love you so much. I do have a lot on my mind right now, and I can't wait until everything is back in order. I rarely get stressed, but when I do I guess it shows. All I wished is that you had expressed some of it rather then push me away. Relationships can't just end of this kind of thing and I don't believe ours should have. I know you trust me but, I truly believe if you did you would have told me...back off I'm stressed too, it's not about you. Sure I may not have wanted to hear that but I hope you know I would have been more then understanding. When you brush things off and smile all the time, I feel as though you are ok. It was weird not calling you at lunch, not calling you on my way home. I really meant that everything would be perfect if you and I could run away to some island and not have to worry about work, money, or the day to day in this crazy busy world. It was and has been excruciatingly painful not hearing from you this past week. That in itself has made this harder, more painful and heart breakign than anythign else. All I want to do is call you or see you, but am now feeling like you don't want to see me or talk to me and are content with this situation. I know it was stupid but I texted you "xoxo" and it made my stomache sick not hearing back from you at all. You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are intelligent. You are motivated. You are a really great person. The reason that I have not called, why you didn't see me watch you leave, is because I love you so much. I would rather break my arm than watch you cry. I hate myself for making you hurt. I feel sick knowing that you are sad. I think, but perhaps I am wrong (it does happen ), that calling you throughout the day, sending you emails, or anything else is wrong. It would be selfish of me, because unless we were able to fix things there and then, it would only prolong your unhappiness. YOU ARE WRONG in our situation. Not communicating at all is not right! You not calling, or anything at all makes me feel more unloved and distant then ever. I was never unhappy Michael, I just didn't understand what was going through your head becuase you never mentioned anything so I assumed it was me. This makes me unhappy...I know you said you weren't ok with it either, but ignoring me, really, do you think that will help us in the long run?...do you think that will even give us the option of us down the road? I don't. What I think needed to happen is that we needed A) a weekend together, just us to de-stress, get out, have some time together with no distractions or we should have taken a day trip somewhere anywhere! B) Ok this should have been before A, but I think that instead of not talking at all we should have tried harder to figure this out or at least met to see how one another is doing. Just my opinion. I just know that we could have fixed things, I could have given you more slack and if you had just talked to me we could have worked throught this and come out stronger. I don't know how to fix things right this second. Running or ignoring the issues we have would only exacerbate the problem. I know that we are the right fit for each other. I want "us", but before that can happen, I need to work on me. I am the luckiest guy in the world to have shared what I have with you, and I can only pray that in time, I will wake up to you once more. Good night, sleep well, and sweet dreams. I love you. [COLOR=#3333ff]I don't know if you care anymore and I am sure you are sick of my emails, my voice and texts. I am trying to stay positive throughout this, but am finding it too hard when I don't know how you are, what you are doing, if you miss me at all, and thinking about this trip to Austin that was supposed to be ours. It hurts me so much to think that I have this ticket that is worth nothing, and had that weekend planned and now, it's just another weekend. Another weekend that I will be working and such a waste of money for me.[/COLOR] Link to post Share on other sites
Teacher's Pet Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 To the men on here.....why is it so easy for you to just move on? My ex doesn't even give me the respect to email or text back when we are supposed to be meeting up? Is it just easier for you to forget about us? Just curious. Anyone got any awnsers....hehehe. Trust me... It was hard for me to move on after my ex (my ex fiance, aka "The Teacher")... Why the heck do you think I have almost 5000 posts on here? lol It's been almost 2 years now, so it's more nostalgia than anything at this point. She moved on immediately. In fact, she had a man over her place within 3 days of breaking up with me. I was celibate for a year and a half. Not that I'm proud of that or anything! The wonderful folks here (especially a certain couple I now know IRL) have helped me work through my issues, and now the more confident me is (mostly) back. And hungry for lovin'. roar. -tp i'm a tiger when i want love, i'm a snake when we disagree..... Link to post Share on other sites
foxh1234 Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 To the men on here.....why is it so easy for you to just move on? My ex doesn't even give me the respect to email or text back when we are supposed to be meeting up? Is it just easier for you to forget about us? Just curious. Anyone got any awnsers....hehehe. It is not easy for me. Every person is different. I wish it were easy Link to post Share on other sites
carrie3107 Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 Hi hon, Having a great time and guess what i did the 8 mile work saturday, dont know how i managed it but i did!!! Do you remember its our anniversary this month? Prob not!!!! Hope your having as much fun as i am!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 I wouldn't take you back. You won't ask, but if you did, I'd say no. No way. You're bad for me. Link to post Share on other sites
v33 Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 I wonder sometimes how much of our relationship falling apart was my fault. It's easy for me to blame your drinking, your emotional and sexual issues, your past. But I remember the times when I might have been a little too easily embarrassed by something you said or did. Times when you just wanted to talk but I jumped on you before you could, thinking you were just going to complain about the same old things again. Times when I pushed you away in bed because I was mad you were drinking, but maybe you hadn't had that much. I know that I was good to you though, and at the time did the very best I could. But for the times it wasn't enough, I'm sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Karyyk Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 To the men on here.....why is it so easy for you to just move on? My ex doesn't even give me the respect to email or text back when we are supposed to be meeting up? Is it just easier for you to forget about us? Just curious. Anyone got any awnsers....hehehe. I don't have an easy time with it at all. Letting go is probably the most difficult thing in the world for me, and there isn't a day that goes by when I don't think about her. If anything, the women in my life have had a much easier time forgetting me. Of course, they usually end up reappearing, right around the time that I'm finally beginning to be able to deal with the loss. There's nothing easy about it. Link to post Share on other sites
LikeCharlotte Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 Charlotte- Who were you when you were not yourself? I feel like I've been lied to! I'm happy that you are yourself again but where does that leave me? I feel like Schrödinger's cat. That's better than Pavlov's dog I suppose. Does this mean I have to change my name from LikeCharlotte to Charlotte? -Charlotte Link to post Share on other sites
Elena62 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 I want to write to you and tell you things but it's no use! You asked me for a type of "friendship" I've really tried. In fact, you've tried too. But the way you try is by controlling the amount of responses you give. You're lost, so damn lost in your own sea of nothingness. Do you really think that you're going to find happiness by digging yourself into projects and work? Hell no! It's over, it really is over isn't it? I can't do the friendship thing because you never were my friend really, was you? I don't feel it. I can't do this. I can't. It makes me feel unhappy. YOU make me feel unhappy. Where is your heart? Did you bury it somewhere in the horse s*** you live with? I can't be your friend and it's making me feel sad. I can normally be friends with people I care for deeply, but I just can't do it with you. I made a decision: Turn my back on it! It was the most liberating thing ever. Do I have to forgive you? Hell no! Forgiveness is so overrated! If I ever forgive you I won't learn anything from this. I need to forgive myself MORE and I'm working on that, away from you and your draining effect. My decision liberated me, I made a PLAN for ME. I can't be your friend right now, and I can't even say sorry for it. I need to stay away from you as far away as possible - you're the enemy of my heart! Link to post Share on other sites
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