Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[mollers]

I still love you, but I don't think I actually like you.

[sunshinegirl]

Well, xxxxxx, I wish you had been. Know why? If you'd been pregnant, we'd still be together. You'd have HAD to work on yourself in this goddamn relationship. For the sake of our child. We could have been great.

 

Kiz, I promise you, you would not have wanted this to happen.

 

My ex and his wife were having problems in their marriage when they decided to have a kid. I think they thought a child would help things between them. Noo, noooooo, a thousand times no. It drove a deeper wedge between them, she started her affair, they split 4 years after their daughter was born.

 

So if there were ANY cracks in your relationship, having a kid wouldn't have helped them. It most likely would have split the cracks wide open.

[ate_the_paint]

That's great. I almost think that's worth sending...even though I know you shouldn't. I hope one day I get to ignore such a message.

 

Just think how much more you can say by saying nothing at all.

[JustPassingThru]

You're a heartless Bitch... Just thought you should know.

[Raina]

I really detest how you ignore me like this. You know it gets at me, so you use it shamelessly. Whether you want me the way i am or not. Stop putting the decision in my hands. Stop playing this stupid game.

 

What is it this time? One of your bloody mood swings? Get over yourself!

[dharris27]

Hey, i don't want to just ask you how are things - that the lame generic thing we always ask each other. I don't really want to know. I just really want to connect with you, i want us to acknowledge that we love each other and like each other and had a great and strange time dating each other.

 

I want to admit that i loved you and i still do and i know that i hurt you by dumping you. But you know that you hurt me by lieing and I'm sorry I never really knew how to trust you again.

 

I'm sorry i wasn't patient enough to deal with your anxiety or aggressive enough to stand up for myself when i heard and saw you do shady things or when you would snap at me.

 

I'm more sorry you don't see why these things are detrimental to a good person - myself. I'm sorry because i miss you and had things just been slightly different , had you been more mature and more morally developed, i would have had your curly haired iranian goofy kids. They would have been beautiful.

 

You remember that time you asked me if i'd have them with you? It's funny you didn't even want kids until you met me. I remember thinking i wouldn't because i thought they would be beautiful and you might be mean and a bad father.

 

But that was then.

 

I think our breakup and your much older girlfriend will help you mature. You might be a great father one day and a more patient man. You probably make her as happy as you made me before you lied and got angry. She's the lucky one really. She'll never have to go through the stages we went through as you learned to date a person in real life rather than via internet.

 

I envy you both and your happiness. I can still hear your racing heart under my head and feel your chest hair in my fingers. I can still see you being goofy like a five year old, bouncing around my bedroom. I remember the time you kissed me in public, it was a big deal. It made me blush even after dating for two years.

 

I love you. I hope you're happy.

[inulg]

wow, so you hate me enough to not just remove me from every part of your life, but even from the links on your website? wow.

 

i dont get it. i thought being an artist was about helping each other out. but i guess you hate me enough that you've probably already burned every thing i've given you (except for the damn xbox360 i gave you.) my name disgusts you. i disgust you.

 

youre so immature.

 

i hope one day you realize that.

[inulg]

God... why do i still love him?

[sunshinegirl]

Yes, sure, it's mean-spirited, maybe, to speculate about what's wrong with you. But you know what? In reading up on your Myers-Briggs personality profile tonight, I came across this little nugget, and I don't know how there could possibly have been a closer description of you:

 

The INTP has no understanding or value for decisions made on the basis of personal subjectivity or feelings. They strive constantly to achieve logical conclusions to problems, and don't understand the importance or relevance of applying subjective emotional considerations to decisions. For this reason, INTPs are usually not in-tune with how people are feeling, and are not naturally well-equiped to meet the emotional needs of others.

 

This doesn't go so far as to say INTP's can't empathize with others, but as we both know, you can't.

 

THEN, I came across a link between INTP and schizoid personality disorder. I'm not saying you have a disorder but the definition sounds familiar...

 

schizoid: a descriptive term for a person who appears alienated from others, has poor interpersonal skills, and withdraws from social interaction.

 

Is this why all my friends described you as socially awkward and very difficult to engage in conversation? Does this explain why you always retreated to the kitchen when conversation turned to meaningful topics? Does this explain why you have a deer-in-headlights look in every photo I've ever seen of you? Why I've never seen true warmth in your eyes, why they seem oddly vacant?

 

I'm sorry for this - I'm in a mood of some kind tonight. Tomorrow I will probably be back in my "poor me, why did you leave me for the hooch" mentality.

[The Y]

You miss me, don't you.

 

heh

 

I knew you would.

 

You shoulda just broke up, and took some time off or something.

 

Nope.

 

You had to go jump right into another serious relationship, right away.

 

How's that workin' out for ya?

 

You made the choice, TWICE.

 

Now deal with it.

[justaman99]

Hey ex girlfriend of mine,

 

let's talk about sex for a moment. Then we'll talk about pregnancy. OK. You used to wanna get down - you even called me over one night b/c you said you were starting your period the next day. We used to have sex so frequently that I stopped masturbating altogether. Didn't feel the need.

 

But later in our R, you refused my initiations and were "tired" and all those dumb cliches. Made me feel like a beggar, pathetic, unattractive. You made me sexually frustrated and I resented you for it and treated you unenthusiastically.

Hey, remember how you told me you thought you were pregnant b/c you "might have missed a pill, I don't know, I can't remember"? And so I was freaked for a week or two until your EPT showed negative, twice.

 

And when we talked about you being pregnant, I said that whatever you decided was OK, I would help you raise a child because I love you and would do anything for you. Do you remember that. Do you remember how I didn't freak. How I stayed. How I would have stayed with you through anything.

 

And we went to the bar and you didn't have a beer because you didn't want to potentially harm the fetus that might have been growing within you.

 

And when you came out of the bathroom that morning (7 AM, when pee is freshest!), you whispered, "Not pregnant." And I released the breath I'd been holding while you were in there. And I played it so cool, and said, "I knew you weren't."

 

Well, xxxxxx, I wish you had been. Know why? If you'd been pregnant, we'd still be together. You'd have HAD to work on yourself in this goddamn relationship. For the sake of our child. We could have been great.

 

But you were not pregnant. And all of that worry and energy, everything I said in support of you if you WERE, didn't matter. Aren't you glad you aren't pregnant, sweetie? Do you like how I call you that? Honey? Baby?

 

Do you remember how you called me "Honey" one last time when I started to cry, when we were hugging in the park that Sunday when we broke up?

 

Well, sweetie, hope you read this someday.

 

Love ya!

 

man Kiz. My ex did the same thing. I begin to think if this is just a test to see what we would do if they were pregnant. Do women do that ya think?

[Nevermind]

You are right, I need to make a fresh start. And I am. Currently, I am in therapy to deal with my fear, so that I will be able to finally go to that appointment.

 

Blaming that on you was never fair, and never true. My therapist made me see that. I am sorry for this. But it’s the only thing I am sorry for.

 

After I broke up with you, in the middle of April, I was in pain…but it was a dull and slight pain. I wrote you, and you wrote me. It wasn’t excessive, but it came from both sides. Don’t change history. You know I am right. You wrote that we wished we could redo it, you wanted to call. Don't think you did it out of pity, because you didn't. No matter what you tell yourself.

 

 

After I found out, about your “real girlfriend", I did put you through pain and drama. But it was just as much pain and drama for me, believe me. Breaking into your e-mails was wrong, but it was the only way to get some answers. You were lieing to me, throughout the entire time. You know this. Also, I changed your passwords for 2 hours. Don’t overdramatize it. I apologized for this, a lot, and you said I never needed to apologize – so don’t blame me now.

 

After freaky Friday, you were writing to me, asking me to send you a line. You initiated contact again. I then very soon began writing a lot. That is bad. And wrong, but in every e-mail of you, you encouraged me to write you. And it did help me.

 

I don’t know if you were aware of the e-mail or nor, I actually don’t blame her anymore. It’s not nice, but I guess that reading the truth (and you know that’s all I send her, you got the e-mail) was painful for her as well. And I guess she just send me another truth. Which I didn’t need to hear,but that’s really justice.

 

I don’t love you anymore, nor do I want to be in your life, not like this. If you ever get over yourself, and don’t be phased by the trouble of your exams, then you can find a way to contact me.

 

One more thought:

Don’t change the past. I was a good girlfriend to you, and you know this. You were my first and (as you proudly said once) I can never truly forget you. But I did get over it. By the way, taking 2 months to get over a serious relationship is not being a loser, it’s normal. If you think otherwise, then this is your problem.

 

I was villifying you. But I know that you were a good boyfriend, and you gave me lots of love in Spain, most of the time. I wish we had ended it then. I will always cherish those moments . I hope you can cherish some memories of me, too.

 

 

Farewell,

[pickingupthepieces]

Hey its me.. you know the CrAzY lady... Well I'm sorry I've been so outta sorts lately.. I have been this way with everybody. this two job thing sucks.. it wouldn't be so bad if they weren't two full-time jobs.. again I'm sorry. i have to get a hold of myself and stop dwelling and worrying about stuff.. SO thanks for being you and putting up with my crap.

 

Love ya

[dharris27]

Yes, sure, it's mean-spirited, maybe, to speculate about what's wrong with you. But you know what? In reading up on your Myers-Briggs personality profile tonight, I came across this little nugget, and I don't know how there could possibly have been a closer description of you:

 

 

 

This doesn't go so far as to say INTP's can't empathize with others, but as we both know, you can't.

 

THEN, I came across a link between INTP and schizoid personality disorder. I'm not saying you have a disorder but the definition sounds familiar...

 

 

 

Is this why all my friends described you as socially awkward and very difficult to engage in conversation? Does this explain why you always retreated to the kitchen when conversation turned to meaningful topics? Does this explain why you have a deer-in-headlights look in every photo I've ever seen of you? Why I've never seen true warmth in your eyes, why they seem oddly vacant?

 

I'm sorry for this - I'm in a mood of some kind tonight. Tomorrow I will probably be back in my "poor me, why did you leave me for the hooch" mentality.

 

Wow, my ex was a schizoid too and how funny is it that ever since the day we met i was looking through those things to see how i could define him to better understand him. He seemed to line up as that that you just described. Anti-Deep conversation, Anti-photo taking in general, Anti-PDA to the max of ignoring his g/fs because "he doesn't know how to act". He told me once it takes so much for him to be comfortable in public or in general around people that almost the whole time we dated he kept me inside because he was terrified of not acting correctly around me in public. What a mess. I wonder if his new girlfriend gets any of that?

[ate_the_paint]

Sweety I really miss you. This all seems so surreal. Are you sure this is really happening? I just want to put the slideshow back up as our screensaver.

 

What about those three freckles on your arm that look like Orion's Belt. Can't I see those again? Sweetheart? Just come home and talk to me, and we'll make everything better.

 

I know you're hurting right now. I just want to put my arms around you so you know you're safe and loved. I hated seeing you cry. I hated seeing you so lost and confused.

 

Why did you do this? It would be so easy to just let me hold you. I miss you.

 

Too bad you ran off and broke my heart, you jackass.

[LikeCharlotte]

Too bad you ran off and broke my heart, you jackass.

Dear complete stranger-

I'm sad today because I'm moving and you know what it's like here. Imagine the 2 week spring cleaning I did, but multiply it by 20 and you aren't here to help, leaving me with... well, what you left me with.

Also, what Paint said minus the jackass part. I need a friend. Are you done yet? How about now? *reaches her hand out* Yeah, I know, I know. You know me, ever hopeful that the best will come of it all.

 

I'm worried that you are being this way because of some other woman and your 'ex's issue'. Look, I'm not that way... I don't care about that. You shouldn't either. If you are I hope you are happy, really no matter what, I do. Or is it me? What does anything you are doing with someone else have to do with me? or vice versa? When did I become someone you have to avoid? Did you ever believe a single word I said?

 

I guess you just don't care. Honestly, I don't care anymore either. You've made your point. For whatever reason I am not a human being in your world. I'd say that I'm still here when you are ready but I'm planning to leave one way or another. I just can't look at these walls anymore. They are bare and it's suffocatingly lonely in this place. I have to get out before I go mad. So, um, that's the news. Wish me luck? I'm a little scared.

 

Have fun this weekend. I wasn't invited. Thanks to you I'm sure.

-Charlotte

[PhoenixFromTheFlames]

We could have got the spark back. I know in my heart of hearts we could have. If you had just said something before ....

 

I hope all the pain i'm feeling is for a reason.

 

I'm still doing all the things I said I would in life, but without you.

[The Y]

Hey.

 

I wanted to be friends for the rest of our lives.

 

Too bad you didn't.

[PandaStillLovesBunny]

I'm done with it. I'm done with you.

 

I'm finished with believing that you'll ever be anything more than that flaky, self-absorbed, oblivious, hypocritical child that you were when we were dating. I'm done idealizing you. You've proven that you'll never be able to live up to what I had believed - and what you claimed - to be.

 

You told me that you wanted to still be friends, but did you even try to make that happen? Or were you just too busy changing your name, your clothes, your music, and anything superficial that could be changed with a credit card and minimal effort? Real change requires that we learn something.

 

Before I say goodbye, though, could you just let me know: did you ever have a passion for anything? Was there ever anything that you considered worth putting the effort into keeping? Did you ever believe anything to be worth taking a risk for? Or would you drop it all at your father's word, your mother's word, the public's word; anyone's word but your own?

 

Enjoy running away from things. It's what you're best at.

[FloraPost]

So. The full reality has dawned for me. For all these years of marriage, you didn't understand what it was. You didn't bother to try, you just did whatever you could to take advantage of it while still feeding your own self with other stuff. No matter how many hours and hours of marriage counseling, no matter how many books and articles we read, no matter how many talks, you didn't get it. You didn't WANT to get it. You just wanted to take what you could and keep your secret stuff going too.

 

Well. Enduring all these years and trying as hard as I could, being as patient as I could, forgiving everything; nothing worked. So now I found another way to teach you what marriage is. This divorce will bring home an entirely new reality for you. Welcome to adult responsibility, at the hands of a court system. If I were a betting woman, I'd bet that you will understand more about marriage at the end of this process than you did before.

 

Why didn't you bother to learn before we got here? You had more than half of my entire life! You fool. You sad, sick fool. God be with you.

[The Y]

Okay...

 

I'm kinda missing you again.

 

I thought I was cured.

 

What should I do? Go find someone to occupy my time, like you did?

 

Ok, whatever. I miss you. Are you happier now?

 

I still can't respond if you contact me though.

 

Not that you're going to.

 

I don't know why I have any desire to talk to someone that doesn't want to talk to me.

 

I ****ing miss you, okay?

 

You have Mr. Wonderful though.

 

It must be nice to be happy.

 

It must be nice to not be lonely.

 

It must be nice to be able to jump from one relationship to another.

 

Huh...

 

Well, I have an exciting Friday night ahead of me.

 

I'll prolly be in bed by 9.

 

Thanks for being such a good friend.

 

I still care, but you don't.

 

Oh well.

 

I guess that's all I have to say.

[The Y]

I just thought I'd tell you that I miss you again.

 

I thought you'd enjoy that.

 

Thanks for breaking my heart.

 

I never would have left you.

 

I woulda stuck it out, because I really loved you.

 

You obviously don't love me, so, yeah...

[inulg]

i love you. still. and i still wish we could work things out. i still wish you could figure yourself out, and deal with your issues and we could be together again.

 

i still love you. i still cry every night. my heart still hurts.

 

i always thought that you were different. i thought that we were different. i thought that we had been together for so long had meant something. had been proof of everything.

 

i used to tell you how hard i had prayed for someone special to come into my life, and how i thought that it was you.

 

i hate the weekends. i hate living in a city where none of my closest friends are, where none of my family are. living in the same city as the guy i thought would love me forever.

[FauxVowel]

Do you miss me?

 

Do you even think about me?

 

You don't care, obviously.

 

How can you do this, dude? Why did I think we were gonna be friends forever?

 

I'm just naive? I didn't think I was.

 

So I can't trust my other handful of friends???

 

But that's the thing - I do. I do trust them. Why?

 

Okay, so maybe I didn't trust you. Yeah, I guess I didn't. It's like I didn't trust you, but I trusted you not to screw me over.

 

I guess that doesn't make much sense. I guess I thought there was a limit on how much and what you would lie to me about.

 

Okay, now that I'm thinking back...

 

I guess I'm just upset that I wasn't the one to break-up, after I gave you so many warnings about lying to me. I had to keep explaining to you that a relationship should be built trust & honesty. WTF is that? Right there. I shoulda just walked away.

 

But do you know why I didn't walk away?

 

Because every time I would try to break-up with you, you acted destroyed, and I just couldn't do that to you.

 

Do you know why I couldn't do that to you?

 

That's because I actually loved you, and cared about you, and even though I felt we weren't completely right together, I was willing to stick by your side, because I cared so much about you.

 

Do you think I enjoyed seeing you hurting?

 

No. Never. That's why I put a stop to your hurting every time.

 

You text message your ex that you want to rub lotion on his sunburn, so I break up with you.

 

You are a wreck, and are so sorry, so I take you back.

 

I watch you get dropped off by your ex after disappearing the night before, so I try to break up with you.

 

Again, you are so sorry, and it will never happen again.

 

Seriously, WTF?

 

I really, really thought you loved me. Those actions don't say that.

 

I hate these emotional ups & downs.

 

I started off this letter missing you, and now I'm just realizing I shoulda got out way sooner again.

 

WTF...

[sunshinegirl]

Do I ever cross your mind?

 

Do you ever miss the fun we had together, the banter, the easy way we had of being with one another, the compatibility we had that you said was so much more than what you had with your ex-wife? Do you ever miss how we made each other laugh? Experimented with new recipes, hung out with K, M, J, and A? Babysat their daughter together? Do you ever miss climbing with me in NH, getting coffee afterwards in Conway?

 

Do you ever wonder if we can be friends one day? Do you ever think of approaching me to apologize and ask my forgiveness for cheating?

 

Or are you too busy having fun with the hooch?