Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[FauxVowel]

Hey there.

 

It's the 28th.

 

One month after Mr. Wonderful's birthday.

 

That's the last time I spoke to you.

 

Remember?

 

Care?

 

Now only another month until your birthday.

 

I won't be contacting you, but I'm sure you're not too worried about it.

[pickingupthepieces]

Hey...

 

I have tried to call you pretty much all day..... sad I know. I thoiught you were going to call me later... well I finally found the paper and was so happy! I called you to tell you but no answer. I'm so confused... I don't even know what to say..but i know I can't keep doing this. SO I will refrain from calling you..and just leave a message SIMPLE as that. I am not going to chase you ..it is not fun for me.. I am going to work on what I am going to say tonight and leave the message and thats it.

[Integrare]

I just got back from the club, I had a few beers and got to see some hot women wearing things you never would wear for me. You f-ing suck, I miss you so much and I wish I could have you to come home to. When you get this crap out of your system, come home so we can get on with our lives and have the wedding we were planning on. Until then, I hope you enjoy being manipulated by your mom and not having someone supportive by your side. C*nt.

[PandaStillLovesBunny]

So, I had a good birthday.

 

Oh, ****, wait, I mixed up my cards here - I meant to use the other one: "So, my birthday was f****** crap.

 

Not only did the people I considered "Friends," who knew that I didn't have plans, who knew that I've been sitting at home alone for months, through no fault of my own, not invite me out anywhere, or throw me that surprise party that I said I always wanted, they didn't even consider me important enough to say a simple "Happy Birthday" to. And don't give me that "I was busy" **** either, because I saw them on MSN, I saw them on Facebook; T's status said she was bored and wasting time watching idiotic foreign dramas.

 

Most maddening of all, I think, is the sheer inconsideration and disregard that YOU displayed. I know you're my ex, and I know that I didn't say anything to you on your birthday, but I was upset and we weren't speaking to each other ever since you decided that you were going to dump me (no, no, we didn't break up - you dumped me, those are the facts of the matter, and there's yet another reason why you won't be welcomed back here, as facing reality seems to be something you're not very good at) over so many bullsh** reasons that I still don't know what the real excuse was. Was it that time I teased you and you flipped out for some reason, even though I've done it before, even though you'd known me for SEVEN F****** years and knew that that's the type of person that I was, event hough THAT WAS ONE OF THE REASONS YOU LIKED ME IN THE FIRST GODDAMN PLACE?

 

But I digress, surely. We were talking again, intermittently. I apologized for whatever crazy-ass reason you thought I should have apologized for, even though YOU were the one who was constantly lying over the smallest things, YOU were the one who never offered to pay for any of our dates, or even suggested where to go. Yes, you did suggest "Phantom of the Opera," which I liked, and that god-awful "Elektra" opera, which couldn't have been a more excruciating experience if intermission had included free crucifixions, but for the bulk of the relationship, the onus was all on me to make YOU happy, and you never let me know how I could have actually done that. But then again, you didn't even know yourself, did you?

 

I know what would have made me happy - some consideration. That was it. Like I said, we were getting along again, weren't we? We were talking again, and I expressed regret over being stupid enough to ignore your birthday, although I'm sure any of the number of your new "boyfriends," whom you claim not to love, made up for it, didn't they? Or maybe you just did a line of f****** coke again because your friends were doing it, and just forgot about me altogether. Whatever happened on YOUR birthday, we're not here to talk about that today. No, no - we're here to talk about your impropriety when it comes to my birthday. I wasn't expecting anything from you, not as much as I was expecting from my so-called friends. I was just expecting a little recognition, like a simple "Happy Birthday" message. You were there, you had to have remembered.

 

I mean, how could you forget what day it was? You certainly remember what happened on my last birthday, when you convinced me to upgrade my plans from an affordable restaurant to an expensive as hell restaurant, leading me to believe that you were treating your boyfriend to dinner, perhaps using this one and only opportunity to actually try to make him happy. Imagine my surprise when I had to pay out of my OWN f****** pocket for dinner, and you didn't even move to offer. But that's not even the beginning, or the worst of, your crap. Because earlier that day, your "best friend," who sounded like she was going to s*** out a lung in her excitement, decided that not only would sleeping in be a better idea than going to her best friend's boyfriend's birthday outing (in the goddamn afternoon, naturally), but that NOT FREAKING CALLING TO SAY IT TO HIS F****** FACE (in a manner of speaking) would make it go by much more smoothly. And YOU, YOU didn't even have the good sense to be UPSET with the moron. No, she only figuratively slapped your boyfriend in the face, but he's only your boyfriend, it's not like he means anything to you, right? Yeah, and you f****** wonder why I began to grow "distant" after that, even though most of that distance was caused by YOU.

 

I thought we were making up. I thought we were making progress on that whole "friends" thing that you wanted to have. I guess I was wrong. I guess YOU were wrong - you didn't change. You didn't change at all. You might be modeling your clothing on a different out-of-date cartoon character and losing weight faster than an OCD sufferer at a slot machine, but you didn't change where it counted.

 

So it's over. It's finally over. I don't want another chance, I don't want to be your friend, I don't want to care about your life, or your career, or your lack of dreams. You should consider me dead - but, you won't have any trouble with that, now will you?

[Integrare]

Something happened to me today, and I'm not sure if it'll last or not, but I feel that I don't want you back again. Maybe it is the way that I was there for you through thick and thin (more like thin and thin) while your mother sat by and caused more roadblocks for you than anything. I was the one who helped you through the rough times when your mom got you down, when you had paper after paper due and you cried all the way through nursing school. I cooked for you when you were too busy with home work, I helped you when you were too tired to think, even though I was trying to get through graduate school taking 26 hours a semester. If you can't show me any loyalty and dump me right before my board exams right when you finish school and I was there for you all along, when is the next time you would have dropped me like a hot potato? I'm seeing that you leaving me has been a blessing. I don't need people like you in my life. I deserve someone that will reciprocate what I have given. Good luck finding your crappy counterpart, maybe you deserve a total sh*tbag.

[FauxVowel]

I hope you're happy.

[kizik]

I'd try to get you back if I'd done anything to drive you away in the first place. Perhaps I did - perhaps I loved you TOO unconditionally. I put no bounds on my presence in your life and as a result, I allowed myself to be walked all over for your catharsis and benefit.

 

I went out tonight. Everyone was happy. Everyone was attractive and they all had their hot girlfriends and boyfriends by their side. I don't wanna be around happy people anymore. I don't wanna feel like a loser because I don't have a partner.

 

Are you going through this? Well, I see a few possibilities:

 

1) You spend so much time with your parents that finding a guy is unimportant to you, compared to the babying of you they still do

 

2) You've met a guy within the two short weeks you've been in town (you've got an apartment, probably in Northwest, and you two can go back there and he can have sex with you), and he's making you feel like a queen. He's probably got some tattoos and is tall (I'm not) and you feel like he can protect you. I'm short and skinny - sorry about that!

 

3) You're so focused on staying busy and training for school that thoughts of me and men in general do not enter your mind. You've got cats and a few friends from grad school who keep you content enough, and reaffirm your opinions about how I really just wasn't your type.

 

I guess the point is that you're not all that bad. That's the hardest thing to accept, is that you are not a raging bitch. You were to ME, but that's only because I let you be and my letting you gave you a sense of power and you abused it. Your abuse of me (armchair psych warning!) was really about your lingering resentment towards your dad, who is still a prick but someone you talk to, daily.

 

Solution? None. This thread, created by the wonderful Polywog, will continue, I imagine, until the end of the universe.

[kizik]

So, I had a good birthday.

 

Oh, ****, wait, I mixed up my cards here - I meant to use the other one: "So, my birthday was f****** crap.

 

Not only did the people I considered "Friends," who knew that I didn't have plans, who knew that I've been sitting at home alone for months, through no fault of my own, not invite me out anywhere, or throw me that surprise party that I said I always wanted, they didn't even consider me important enough to say a simple "Happy Birthday" to. And don't give me that "I was busy" **** either, because I saw them on MSN, I saw them on Facebook; T's status said she was bored and wasting time watching idiotic foreign dramas.

...

 

So it's over. It's finally over. I don't want another chance, I don't want to be your friend, I don't want to care about your life, or your career, or your lack of dreams. You should consider me dead - but, you won't have any trouble with that, now will you?

 

I know we don't often respond to one another on this thread, but Panda, if you're reading, I want you to know a couple things.

 

Friends can be incredibly disappointing. And I am SO sorry if few or none of them acknowledged your birthday in a meaningful way. It just goes to demonstrate how incredibly lonely this life can be. Your friends don't sound like real friends, in that they sound like my friends, who are not friends at all but merely people I know who don't care about me.

 

Secondly, I think it's great that you say you don't want another chance and that you don't want to care about that person. Right on. When we realize we really didn't do anything wrong, and that it's our ex's deficiencies that caused the breakup, we can begin to process the breakup without guilt. And that's good.

 

Because I was thinking today, "What if I had cheated on her, and THAT's why we split?" I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Well, that didn't happen. My worst fear came true (splitting up), but it was of no fault of my own, and that's something I can hold my head up about.

[iwish]

Hey you, how's things? Are you happy? I guess so.

 

I still think about and miss you sweetheart. I still have urges to contact you and tell you how much you meant to me. It seems that you've forgotten how into you i was. It's as if we never dated.

 

It's been 12 days NC now and not a day has gone past without thoughts of you entering my head. I'm scared i'll never get over you. I can't feel like this for someone who just doesn't want me. It's bad for me but i just don't know how to snap out of it.

 

I hear you're coming to the leaving drinks next thursday. Why would you do that babe? You know i'm going to be there, you know that we used to get back together at these things. You know that it's going to drive me crazy to see you again. Or do you think i'm over you? Because believe me i'm not!!

 

I miss you so much sweetheart. We had something special in my mind and i don't believe we can ever have that again. But i wonder do you ever miss me? Or is life that much better without me? Are you coming next Thursday to see how i react? Is there still some hope for us?

 

I don't know babe. I'm struggling today, i'm struggling not to contact you, just to see how you are.. Maybe suggest meeting up next week, b4 the drinks just to clear the air. I don't want to play the 'i don't care' game. Because i do ****ing care! I don't want to feel like the last year and half was nothing to you. And that my workmates are more fun.

 

Damn it!

[FloraPost]

I think you've done it. I think you've managed to get me to the point that I can genuinely say that I hate you.

 

You are sick and manipulative. You disgust me and your emails to me make me want to vomit.

 

I can't wait until all this divorce stuff is done. I keep thinking about what to give you as a present when things are finished.

 

There are so many things I want to tell you. I want to buy every book on Amazon about betrayal and infidelity and send a new one to you every week for the rest of your life. I want to buy all the books on manipulation and sick people and send you several for every holiday. I want a dart board with your face.

 

Your face. I have only seen you about 3 times in the past 7 weeks. Do you know, I can't even bring up your face in my mind these days? Certain things about you are fading fast. And some scars I'll take to the grave. You (thesaurus needed). You stole so much from me. You treated me worse than anyone has ever treated me. You treated a convenience store clerk better than me. And I gave you everything but my soul.

 

You keep telling me you aren't Satan. Well, you sure aren't Jesus Christ and you certainly are a whole lot more of a hellish experience than a heavenly one.

 

I will have the last laugh because I will be healthy and strong and survive what you did to me and are still trying to do to me. You, on the other hand, are still a raging lunatic. You are so out of touch with reality. I can't wait til this tunnel of divorce is over. I CAN SEE THE LIGHT. It is coming.

 

(and this spot is where all of "Y"'s rants go)

[swes9321]

i hope u die, so u can look up from hell n see that no one gives a **** about you except yourself.

[inulg]

i feel like why even bother existing right now, when the one person i thought i could trust left me?

[inulg]

this is the worst! feeling! ever! its the same loss someone feels when a significant other dies. so maybe i should just pretend you're dead. maybe that would help me cope faster... because i keep thinking that i'll see you one day. but if i pretend you're dead, i can pretend i'll never have a chance with you again ever.

 

its such a twisted thought, but i think it may work...

[sunshinegirl]

E--

 

I started getting excited today about meeting a man who would be interested and willing to travel to third world countries with me. You were a great travel companion when it came to 1st world luxury vacationing - and, let's face it, I financed some pretty sweet trips we took together - but I always knew you would never voluntarily go to Zambia with me....or go back to Cameroon with me to visit my host family....or work in an orphanage in India with me. I didn't bother suggesting that we tour any townships in South Africa because I knew you wouldn't see the point or really care to. And it all goes back to your lack of compassion and empathy for others. I was trying to justify and rationalize staying with you by telling myself I could just do those trips by myself. But...how soul-deadening! How compromising of my own values that would have been. I want a partner who sees beyond their own nose. I want a partner who is compassionate and wants to do good in the world, is curious about the world and how others live. You gave lip service to those ideas but I knew, knew, you have no (com)passion for others. It's really something how I fell so hard for you when this was such an obvious gaping difference in our values.

[inulg]

i loved you. i love you. stop hurting me. stop destroying me. stop breaking my heart.

 

i hate that you wont talk to me, but i cant talk to you either. not right now. i dont want to imagine you with anyone else. i dont want to. i dont want to be with anyone else. i wanted to be with you. i wanted you to love me the way i loved you. i wanted you to want a future with me. but you didnt want that, you didnt want me.

 

man i'm so freaking stupid.

[pickingupthepieces]

So I just started a thread about how I wasn't going to contact you and the n I realized.. you don't deserve your own thread. As much as you missed me and loved me.. I was still just a conveince to you.. and I HATE that. I hate the whole chasing thing.. because well you just weren't worth it.... NOBODY is.. its exhausting and its not fair... it's something I can't do ... I JUST can't.. so thats it. I love you still... but you KNOW that! So.. good bye?....YUP... good bye

[kizik]

I was looking at pictures of you when you were happy. Then other pictures, you were sad.

 

I don't know what happened. You were terrible to me, but I guess I just want you to be happy. I really do hope you're happy. OK? I'll find happiness in time, too. Get that smile back on your face, ok R? Smile again. Be happy again. I don't like you and what you did to me, but go ahead and be happy.

 

I am really letting you go now.

[LikeCharlotte]

XSO-

I'm gone *poof* Neat huh? Is this what you wanted?

-Charlotte

[PhoenixFromTheFlames]

Thank you for dumping me.

 

It was one of the most painful experiences of my life. But it didn't kill me. It has made me stronger.

[sultry33]

im trying very hard to move on.. its what you said whether its what you want is another thing.. but its really hard to look at someone as if i want to be with them when you are in my heart.

 

i put on my brave smiling face but deep down im still very hurt.. damaged and lost.

 

ive had to stop the fight for you.. had to let you go but it still hurts like hell.

 

hope you are ok x

[Krissyko]

I am alone in a crowd I still think of you ever moment. But i ****ing hate you. The fact that you take advantage of someone who loves you and is heartbroken, in the end will weigh on your consious. not mine.

[Krissyko]

Dear complete stranger-

I'm sad today because I'm moving and you know what it's like here. Imagine the 2 week spring cleaning I did, but multiply it by 20 and you aren't here to help, leaving me with... well, what you left me with.

Also, what Paint said minus the jackass part. I need a friend. Are you done yet? How about now? *reaches her hand out* Yeah, I know, I know. You know me, ever hopeful that the best will come of it all.

 

I'm worried that you are being this way because of some other woman and your 'ex's issue'. Look, I'm not that way... I don't care about that. You shouldn't either. If you are I hope you are happy, really no matter what, I do. Or is it me? What does anything you are doing with someone else have to do with me? or vice versa? When did I become someone you have to avoid? Did you ever believe a single word I said?

 

I guess you just don't care. Honestly, I don't care anymore either. You've made your point. For whatever reason I am not a human being in your world. I'd say that I'm still here when you are ready but I'm planning to leave one way or another. I just can't look at these walls anymore. They are bare and it's suffocatingly lonely in this place. I have to get out before I go mad. So, um, that's the news. Wish me luck? I'm a little scared.

 

Have fun this weekend. I wasn't invited. Thanks to you I'm sure.

-Charlotte

 

This is my Life, I feel you

[Krissyko]

p.s. our two year anniversary is going to be on saturday. but you don't give a **** do you? probably wont even call me will you jag off? Go kill yourself

[inulg]

oh god i want to die.

 

i still question how can you betray me? how can you leave me? how can you not love me anymore? i know maybe i'm not the 'one' for you, but i was hoping 7 years was enough time for you to realize that i was or wasnt.

 

i'm so ****ing . in pain. i want to die, over and over, but i just cant see anything but you.

 

i want to have a future. i want to be happy again. god, it hurts. and all i could think about today was how i wanted to send you funny links to websites, and text message you and ask you what you wanted to eat with me for dinner tonight. Will we cook? you wanna go out and get something to eat? god i'm so ****ing pathetic. reveling in the past is killing me, and i'm trying so hard not to think about but thats ALL I CAN ****ING THINK ABOUT.

 

i dont know if i can go on. you've ... done so much to me, and all i've ever done was forgive you, or think positively. i always thought you would get through whatever it was, we would get through anything together. but i guess you changed? i guess i made you change? why is it that to survive in a relationship you have to be a bitch? i'm not a bitch. yeah i'm the freaking NICE girl everyone wants, but apparently if you're too nice you are taken forgranted.

 

god. it hurts. it hurts. i just want to have a NORMAL freaking day, for once... its been 2 months since the breakup, but about 5 months of hell.

 

and i feel so betrayed, i feel like i can never do this again. i can never trust anyone, because you know what?? they'lll probably just FREAKING LEAVE ME THE WAY YOU DID. because apparently theres no such thing as 'love conquoring all' god i'm such a ****ing ... romantic. i wish i was just... you turned me into this, you made me FEEL SAFE. like i could trust you, even though in the begining i didnt. in the begining i was waiting for you to leave, but then after 2 years of dating you BRAINWASHED me into thinking you'd be there forever. forever meaning 7 years right?

 

i'm so . ****ing sick. ****ing sick... it hurts. i cant do this for the rest of the year... i'm on anti depressants because of YOU. and you know what ? they dont work... at least theyre keeping me from having a breakdown and i guess thats the only thing i can count on right now. if it werent for these ****ing drugs i'd probably be jobless right now and locked in a dark room trying to ****ing cope with all this ****.

 

god it hurts. i loved you so much. **** **** **** **** ****. i miss you. ****...

 

i wish this werent happening. but maybe its what you needed to realize what you left behind. and maybe its what i needed to realize that i needed someone who really DOES love me and isnt afraid of showing it. who ISNT AFRAID OF LOVE.

[inulg]

oh god, and you know what? i just remembered, remember when we first got together? how you tried ignoring your ex? you made new screen names, new emails, everything possible to avoid her. we got together about a month after you broke up with her... i dont think you ever talked to her again...i guess thats what youre doing to me right? ...blocking me on all these websites, like i was even going to contact you through them. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? i'm not the ****ing paranoid one. i didnt want to contact you like that. the only reason i had TRIED messaging you through facebook was because you werent answering my phonecalls... because you were ignoring me.

 

and i hear you call me 'crazy'. i'm not the 'crazy ex' ...even though thats probably how you talk about me. if i'm CRAZY call me crazy because i actually LOVED YOU WITH ALL OF MY STUPID LITTLE HEART. which is now broken into little tiny shards, that i will probably never be able to glue back together again.

 

when i do fix it, i'm using superglue this time, and i'm NEVER LETTING ANYONE DO THIS TO ME EVER AGAIN. and you know what, i'll probably never fall in love again, but i dont care. and you shouldent either.

 

whatever. i hope youre happy with your new life. i know you will be, and it wont be hard for you to start over. you could have anyone you wanted. go for it. be happy. and i will be happy on my own time. it was always important to me to have you be happy. i stupidly wanted to sacrifice everything to meet your needs. well now i've sacrificed my sanity. you better be happy, because youve taken all i have left to give