motive2002 Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 This is tough. Happy birthday little princess. I'm missing you so much. I miss my babies. I should have called, but I'm so stubborn with this NC thing. I should have called to wish you a happy birthday. I feel so mean Link to post Share on other sites
inulg Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 i love you. i wish you wanted me back. Link to post Share on other sites
PhoenixFromTheFlames Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 I just wanted you to know that my sparkle is back. I wish you could see it for yourself, but you're gone. My smile is not just something my lips do, it comes from within. My giggles aren't polite, they're real. My bright eyes aren't just good make-up. I feel a bit guilty about feeling ok, it's only been 3 months, but somehow, lately I just do. I always credited you with making my life better. When we met I had recently left an abusive relationship, I was all over the place. But, within months of being with you, positive changes started to happen for me. The thing I realise now is that I made all the changes. You were just along for the ride, a companion. I'm still following the path I wanted, just without you. I didn't need you, I wanted you. My confidence was crushed when you left for someone else. I wasn't good enough apparently. I believed that at first. But, you know what, there is nothing wrong with me, I am no more flawed than the next person. I have more baggage than you do, but I didn’t have the luxury of being so sheltered. Perhaps that’s why you seek a perfection that doesn’t exist? I have spent the last few years making positive changes to my life, and the future is only going to get brighter for me. Your new girl is no better than me, and in the ways that really matter to a relationship: trust, loyalty and respect, she comes up short. You’ll never escape the fact that you started out in deceit and lies. True love should never bring the worst out in you. If it were a true love, then things would not have happened as they did. You missed out. It sounds arrogant, but you did. When you started to feel confused, you took a snapshot of me in that exact moment, saw that I wasn't perfect, and decided you could do better. You forgot how far I’ve come, and where my path will lead. Maybe in that moment I had dropped the ball, but it was only a moment, it wasn't a permanent reflection of us. I loved you for who you were when we met, who you are in the present and who you may be in the future. One day our paths will cross again, I’m sure of that. You’ll look at that pathetic Polaroid you took in your head, and you’ll look at me in a new moment, and you’ll realise that I am so much more than you judged. I will continue to grow, change, evolve, and one day I know you will see the big picture and realise that you traded down! Enjoy the greener grass, before you see it for what it really is. Thank you for giving me this new lease of confidence. Link to post Share on other sites
Teacher's Pet Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Hey H... You broke up with me 7 years ago yesterday.... Nice to see you've let yourself go since then. I'm not even bitter (never really was), but I'm just happy to know that I had you during your "good years". The leftovers are up for grabs. But hey, that was your choice to leave when things were going well. Ta ta. -tp been there, done that Link to post Share on other sites
foxh1234 Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 I just found out about you f**king ____. I cannot f**king believe you would do it. How stupid are you ? He f**ks anything that moves and somehow he got you too. All the things we said to each other mean nothing now, it is all down the drain. I just wish you had told me you wanted to see someone else instead of doing it behind my back. I would have just vanished and left you to it. Instead you f**ked me and him for 3 f**king months and then I find out about _____ 6 months before that. What the f**k !!! I am not a perfect person, but I always told you the truth and I never cheated or even kissed another woman. 8 years ____ and this is how it ends. You cried the last time I saw you and you said that I was your best friend. No one would treat their best friend this way. I don't think you even realize what you did. I was just thinking last night about you and I realized that you have cheated and f**ked around on every man you have ever been with. History will repeat itself and you will cheat on ___ too. I really thought that what we had was pretty special but I see you now for who you really are. I hurt now, you have hurt me deeper than I have ever been hurt before. It will take time but I will get over this, I always end up on top and I will this time also. You on the other hand have a tougher time of it. You lost your job, you have no education, you drink like a fish and now are living with a guy with a wife and 2 little kids. I am glad that you are someone elses problem now and as much as I hate ____, I feel a little sorry for what you will put him through. You are dead to me now ___. If I see you on the street, I will ignore you. Don't call me, email, write a letter, wave, or f**king scream if you see me, I will not see you. The person I knew no longer exists. In time I hope to be able to look back on the good times and forget this terrible ending. I really hope to forget but I know I will never forgive you for this. I hope with all my heart that when you lay in bed, you think about what you have done and how you have lived your life. I hope it eats away at you and someday you realize what you lost when you did this to me. I really think that you will miss me, not today or next week, maybe not next year, but you will. You will never hear me play guitar again, never make you laugh again, never cook you breakfast in bed again, never have 100 candles lit and a bubble bath waiting for you again, and you will never have me make love to you again. No one can do to you what I could do. I will never see your face or hear your voice again and I am good with that. When I think of you I feel pain. I want the pain and you to go the f**k away and never bother me again. I hate what you have done and who you have become. Now F**K OFF!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Nevermind Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Fox: I am really sorry.. Link to post Share on other sites
foxh1234 Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Fox: I am really sorry.. Thanks NM. It felt good to get it out. How can life be so f**king cruel. I really thought she was the one. I thought all my searching was over and I had found real happiness. Life teaches us some hard lessons, but I never wanted to learn this one. As I said above, I will get through this and come out on top. I am a great guy and the next lady will be very lucky . I am a hopeless romantic and true love will find me. I am currently working on a time machine in my basement so I can transport myself 6 months into the future. I figure that by then, all of this will be a distant memory. I can't get it to work yet, but it is taking my mind off of all this. :lmao: In a funny way, finding out about this might help me move on quicker. I now know without a shadow of a doubt that she is not the one and I will never talk to her again. Link to post Share on other sites
sunshinegirl Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 For better or worse, I miss you, Eric. My hopeful, optimistic heart longs to hear that you have been seeing a counselor and know that you have a lot of work to do to be ready for a truly healthy relationship. My ego longs to hear that things have already gone sour with the hooch. My heart longs to know that you miss the good times we had together, the trips and meals and times we spent together. My heart wishes you were thinking about how best to apologize to me and establish a friendship. My heart longs to hear that I was the best thing to happen to you in years, even if you threw me away so carelessly in the end. I am wishing so much to hear from you. I could never be with you romantically again - I think I have done far too much self-examination and reflection on us to understand that you are not a healthy partner for me. But I still want to hear from you, for you to reach out with an olive branch. I have to believe that at some level you have noticed my absence in your life, even if you're still wrapped up with the hooch. But I long for the giant ragged rips in the fabric of my life to be sewn up, to be repaired. I want to let go of my anger toward you. I want to forgive you. I want for there to be peace between us. I want some kind of validation that what we had was important to you, for a time anyway. I hate the idea of never seeing or talking to you again, despite all the pain and hurt you have put me through. Link to post Share on other sites
LikeCharlotte Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 XSO- Why do you keep changing/ending things? What is going on with you? I understand wanting to change your path, but do you have a plan? Where are you going and why? Do you know what you want? Is it running or changing... and why did you have to run from me? I wish you would think about it without anger or fear for a minute. I know you won't. I worry about you. Maybe you are finally getting better... out of your head? I wish we'd met now instead of then. If you are getting better I hope it works out but... will you look back and see it? I want you to feel better but I'm sort of mad that you are taking these steps now... and I was left in the dust. I don't know what I am saying right now, just hope you are changing for the right reasons. -Charlotte Link to post Share on other sites
Raina Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 May I choke and die before i ever decide to sleep with you. Link to post Share on other sites
inulg Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Thanks NM. It felt good to get it out. How can life be so f**king cruel. I really thought she was the one. I thought all my searching was over and I had found real happiness. Life teaches us some hard lessons, but I never wanted to learn this one. As I said above, I will get through this and come out on top. I am a great guy and the next lady will be very lucky . I am a hopeless romantic and true love will find me. I am currently working on a time machine in my basement so I can transport myself 6 months into the future. I figure that by then, all of this will be a distant memory. I can't get it to work yet, but it is taking my mind off of all this. :lmao: In a funny way, finding out about this might help me move on quicker. I now know without a shadow of a doubt that she is not the one and I will never talk to her again. aww... i wish i could do the same... do you think that there's any place for us hopeless romantics in this world? or are we all doomed to suffer?? is there such thing as a 'true' love?? ...I've been asking myself this for the past forever. i used to believe in it, but now i question it. are two people just never meant to be together forever? (or at least get along together forever...lol) Link to post Share on other sites
sunshinegirl Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 E, I just had this involuntary instinct to call you. I just got an email from a business contact I tried to make 3 months ago. I remember drafting the email in the kitchen while we made dinner together, and reading it out loud to you before sending it off. I was so proud of how I crafted it, because there were some touchy politics I had to navigate. I heard nothing for months, and then tonight in my inbox was a reply, finally, suggesting a phone call, dinner, or drinks to talk about the business opportunity. Despite your emotional aloofness, you always supported my work and career, and I wish I could share this mini-triumph with you. I miss you. Link to post Share on other sites
foxh1234 Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 aww... i wish i could do the same... do you think that there's any place for us hopeless romantics in this world? or are we all doomed to suffer?? is there such thing as a 'true' love?? ...I've been asking myself this for the past forever. i used to believe in it, but now i question it. are two people just never meant to be together forever? (or at least get along together forever...lol) I wish I knew the answer. I am not going to give up until I find that special one. She is out there, I know she is. Link to post Share on other sites
Tabatha Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Usually I tell him directly how I feel, but we agreed today is the last time we speak or see each other until I finish healing. So... Well, it's been a little over 30 minutes since you dropped me off. I miss you so much, but I know, even though I want to, that I can not tell you how much. It was so good when I got to lay in your arms today. This is going to be a tough challenge for me. I may have good days then bad days. It's never easy letting you go. You say if we were meant to be, it will happen. A part of me is afraid to take that chance of letting you go. But I got to take that chance to grow as a person, as an individual. Hopefully we both take this time to sort out our lives because we don't know what we want out of it. In time, when we are both older, I hope our paths cross. Until then, I love you with all my heart and I'll see you soon. Link to post Share on other sites
FauxVowel Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 <yawn> What's that? You haven't heard from me in a while? Oh... That's because I don't care anymore. Bye. Link to post Share on other sites
inulg Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 I wish I knew the answer. I am not going to give up until I find that special one. She is out there, I know she is. good luck! I think we all deserve to find someone who is as dedicated to life as we all are here! Link to post Share on other sites
pickingupthepieces Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 I feel awful.. you called today.. and well I answered. You just seemed SO sad, just like yesterday. It makes me feel awful.. I DO want you to be happy. I just wanted hug you...thank goodness we were on the phone..and not in person. You said you are going to drop off the last of my stuff tomorrow morning. Maybe your sad that.. I don't want to play your game anymore? I don't know maybe YOU feel like your losing me now.. I don't know. Hell,... maybe its even PART of your game, but i still feel bad. Even though you HURT me SO bad... I don't want you to hurt.. it hurts me to see you hurt.. and well that SUCKS! Link to post Share on other sites
PhoenixFromTheFlames Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Today, I hate you again. I hear that your happy, really happy. I have been so upset over this. Not you though, I was gone on a Tuesday, she picked up where I left off on Wednesday. I don't know who you are anymore. You make me feel sick. I hate feeling so negative, so awful. I really didn't do anything wrong, other than love and trust you. Periodically, I want to pour my heart out to you. I talk myself out of it, with a little help, but now I never want to speak to you again. All my love that you threw back in my face has gone cold. I shouldn't feel this way. Link to post Share on other sites
Raina Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Dear X, Somewhere along our time together you lost all the respect for me. I don't know what did I do to make that happen, maybe I was always too nice, too available, and you realized you could use me anytime and not bother about my feelings. It's such a waste of energy isn't it? Actually respect and treat people well, and give them value when they don't actively ask for it (do you feel the sarcasm here?). It has happened before with other people, so don't feel any special about it. People just suck sometimes and are easily capable of being animals. Oh wait, you're proud of being an animal. You told me that so many times and I always assumed you were joking. I fail because I have a weak personality. Although you seemed to enjoy that vulnerability in me in the beginning, i suppose that's what made you change your mind about me after some time and decided to start acting like a complete a**hole. I realized you will never change now. I know when to recognize lost battles and this is one of them. I will never get your respect back. I won't bother. I don't love you enough. Link to post Share on other sites
inulg Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 I keep trying to figure out what i missed when we first started dating. what signs were you giving off that would have shown me how insensitive you could be? i loved you. i wanted to make it work. i wanted to accept you. nobody is perfect, but you'll never understand that. go find someone else, go see that no matter who you date, you will have to work hard to make things work. and good luck finding someone like me who actually wanted to put out the extra effort. love only works with compromise...consideration...and giving yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
FauxVowel Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 Ok, well, I'm bored, so I thought I'd write... I was just wondering if you noticed that we didn't talk the entire month of June. Did you? Hmm... You're birthday is coming up... Are you expecting me to contact you? Are you expecting me NOT to contact you? Hmm... Well, I'm not gonna... It's weird now, it's like I barely remember being with you... Hmm... It'll all prolly come rushing back once/if I get in another serious relationship... There are some events coming up, that would have been fun to go to... Hmm... Ok, well, I know you're busy with the "Love of Your Life", Mr. Wonderful, so, I won't take up any more of your time with my insignificant feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
replicator Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 Thank you for all that you've done for me. I know you never meant to hurt me, and I do really mean it when I say that I forgive you. There is nothing more I want in this world, then for you to be happy and for all your dreams to come true. I'll never forget our first time. And how you cried.. I'll never forget the cookies you brought for me. I'll never forget you. Link to post Share on other sites
Tabatha Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 You said you are proud of me for completing 1 day of NC!!! Thank You for supporting me in my decision to do so!! (Oh and I didn't contact him. I posted a blog on Myspace and he commented on it.) Day 1 of NC completed. Heres starting Day 2.... Link to post Share on other sites
FauxVowel Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 I would love to strangle you, or punch you in the face. That's probably why you'll never come around me again. You are a piece of ****, and I am amazed at how you can live with yourself. You are a selfish whore, that's only good for sex. **** you, you piece of ****. You have no regard for anyone's feelings but your own. I hope you ****ing emotionally suffer someday, due to your piss-poor choices in life. If I ever see you again, I WILL spit in your face. I really will. And your pussy boyfriend's too. **** you, you selfish, piece of **** whore. Oh yeah, and your family is so ****ed up - who the **** are they to give relationship advice? EAT **** AND DIE YOU WORTHLESS ****ING WHORE. Link to post Share on other sites
Tabatha Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 I would love to strangle you, or punch you in the face. That's probably why you'll never come around me again. You are a piece of ****, and I am amazed at how you can live with yourself. You are a selfish whore, that's only good for sex. **** you, you piece of ****. You have no regard for anyone's feelings but your own. I hope you ****ing emotionally suffer someday, due to your piss-poor choices in life. If I ever see you again, I WILL spit in your face. I really will. And your pussy boyfriend's too. **** you, you selfish, piece of **** whore. Oh yeah, and your family is so ****ed up - who the **** are they to give relationship advice? EAT **** AND DIE YOU WORTHLESS ****ING WHORE. Y, is this how you acted in the relationship or has this break-up brought it out of you?? If you acted this way, I too wouldn't stay with a man who talk to me the way you talk to your ex or about her. Saying you want to strangle her or punch her if you see her, is well, scary, anger or not. Link to post Share on other sites
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