Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Nevermind]

You said you are proud of me for completing 1 day of NC!!!

 

Thank You for supporting me in my decision to do so!!

 

(Oh and I didn't contact him. I posted a blog on Myspace and he commented on it.)

 

Day 1 of NC completed. Heres starting Day 2....

 

This the weirdest NC I have ever seen. Not the worst, just the weirdest.

[Tabatha]

This the weirdest NC I have ever seen. Not the worst, just the weirdest.

 

Well, i tend to call him everyday. So 1 day of not calling him or messaging him is pretty good on my part.

 

I don't know, technically it's breaking NC, but I figure since he only replied on a blog, I don't see it as such. It's not like he messaged me and told me to call.

[pickingupthepieces]

Hi

 

I saw you this morning and, nothing made me happier then waking up to you crawling across my bed to give me a kiss on the forehead to wake me up. you had to run because you were late for work.. (which is usual). You seemed happier the you were on the phone and that made me happy. So we had a quick converstaion and you were out the door. You said you would see me later... and then it got me to thinking "when"? You called after you left but my ringer was off so I missed the call. I called you back tonight to get no answer.. on your home or cell. You were on fb (idiling) so I messaged you and got no response. Now I feel sad.. I miss you. I have wanted to talk to you SO bad.. I don't know what to tell you.. You wanted to come over at lunch but I was busy... GOD I miss you.. and I think you have no idea how I really feel.. I'm glad your feeling better. Miss you muffin....

 

TS

[Nevermind]

Tabatha, yes...that's not the weird part.

 

It's his cheering the NC. That's interesting.

[pickingupthepieces]

I agree that is weird.. I don't know what else to say... ODD... hmmm

[e.clipse]

hey.

 

i'm leaving for lake tahoe tomorrow. if i'm lucky i'll be able to get a beautiful view of the stars. it's going to be my first time sleeping outdoors like this, and it makes me sad to remember how much we always wanted to do this.

 

you know, this 4th of July will be the first in four years that we do not spend together. that makes me sad. not that it's just a special date for us personally, but it's the only holiday we've managed to always spend together, one way or another. but not this year. every day is something less, isn't it? nothing is special anymore.

 

i feel bad for not being excited about the trip. i know i should be. and i know i would be if i was going with you. but that's not the case, now is it?

 

if there is a tent, i will sleep inside. i don't think i can bear the idea of looking up and seeing the sky adorned with beautiful stars, knowing this is the view we always wanted to see together.

 

there will be no Jr. Cuckoos this year. no piccolo petes. no dancing dragons from the east. no pink-haired backyard memories. no kisses good night.

 

just stars that will never really be mine.

[Tabatha]

NM, we are trying to take a break from each other. We agreed we wouldn't call each other or see each other for 3 days. It's for me to get used to the idea of him not always being available whenever I get the feeling of missing him and wanting to see him everyday.

 

The whole point of this, and how it started was when we had a conversation on the phone and he said, he doesn't see us being anything more than friends. I decided, that I will always want more, so I am going to have to finally let go. I keep hanging on to hope, and it's getting me nowhere. I was going to cut off contact for good until I healed completely, knowing that will be MONTHS(considering it took 10 months to get over my ex ex), and I was weak, caved in after 4 hours. So we broke it down. Making it easier for me to attain the goal. (I know, sad). So we are going with 3 days.

 

He wants to help and he is supporting me in my decision. He was a little upset when I broke down during the conversation stating my decision to him. He respects that fact that I need to heal. He wants me to heal. It is definately wierd, yes. But, our situation has always been a wierd one. We broke up in the begining of April, weren't that close until the end of may, and June. He's gotten to a point where he almost reconsidered about us being together, but when things got good, something happened to where we ended up fighting. We didn't know what we were. So, I'm doing this for myself. It's actually been easier than I thought.

[ladyinlimbo]

Dear D,

 

I thought the Tin Man was merely a fictional character from The Wizard of Oz -- but little did I know, it was you. A man with no heart. No soul, either. No conscience, no moral compass, no sense of right or wrong, no integrity, no accountability, no understanding of the concept that there are consequences for our actions. You sh*t on my for the vast majority of our relationship - yet you never acknowledged it, you never apologized and when confronted, you merely made excuses for it. Your idea of a relationship is to take no responsibility for hurtful and thoughtless actions/words but instead, to just tell your partner "let it go, forget the past, let's just focus on having fun!" You are a sorry excuse for a man. It is no wonder that you're ex before me walked away - while 7 months pregnant with your child. How awful you must have been to live with, for her to go to such extremes. Of course your version of the demise of that relationship was all a lie; one in which you were the poor victim. Well I have experienced first-hand, your immaturity; your manipulativeness, your selfishness, your passive-aggressive game-playing, your abuse. This is just who you are and sadly, you are proud of yourself. You think you are "a good person." You are so delusional.

 

You don't know where the truth ends and the lies start. Lies flow off your tongue without any effort.

 

You brought me into your life without being honest about your situation. Had I known the truth, I'd have told you to go F yourself and I'd have never agreed to meet you to begin with. By the time the truth had to come out, you'd already brainwashed me into believing your distorted version of the truth - aww, what a poor victim you were. Boohoo.

 

What kind of man gets a thrill out of constantly insulting and putting down someone he claims to love? You are a sick and twisted individual. Not once in all our time together did you ever have anything positive to say about me. Never a compliment. You just thrived on poking at me, picking at me, trying your best to destroy my self-esteem. When I would stand up for myself, you could accuse me of having 'no sense of humor' or being 'too sensitive.' You were and will always be a total pr*ck.

 

You think you are the cat's a$$ and God's gift to this planet but you are a nothing and you always will be. You will always be an insecure bully who takes pleasure in bringing other people down.

 

You are a user. You use your friends, you use your family, you use your coworkers, and you used me. You are the most two-faced person I've ever met. All people are to you is someone to use; someone to gain something from (companionship, praise, financial gain, someone to boost your ego). You are as transparent as a piece of plastic wrap. You should be ashamed of yourself but that is impossible because it would take an actual conscience and some self-reflection to really "see" the truth about you.

 

You are needy and expect the world to revolve around you. You are the focus of your own universe. You are self-absorbed, selfish and a legend...in your own mind.

 

I used to hate listening to your 2 hour long diatribes about subjects you knew nothing about. They were merely regurgitated opinions of intelligent people. You made no sense but you babbled on and on and on - and expected me to be your captive audience. You bored the living sh*t out of me. It was like sitting there and listening to Ricky from the Trailer Park Boys. Your misuse of words, your mispronunciation of words - encompassed by major arrogance and a sense of superiority. You didn't have an original thought in your head but you passed off the thoughts and opinions of others as your own, but you didn't even do that very well -- which is why you never made any damn sense. A blithering idiot who thought he was an expert on every topic. And as you put it, you were "the bestest of the mostest."

 

Let's not even talk about how incredibly lousy you were in bed. The 8 second pony rides were definitely something I don't miss. But of course it was all about you. But hey, at least you have your porn addiction to keep you going.

 

Your family was the most f*cked up bunch of mental midgets I ever met and to think a grown 36 yr old man still cares what Mommy thinks, well isn't that a hoot. None of you have any respect for one another. You're all a bunch of narcissistic, judgmental half-wits. I guess the apple really doesn't fall that far from the tree.

 

I love how you think you're all that because you live in a condo on a 'lake.' Puhlease, it's a f*cking dirty creek and you have crackheads for neighbors. To most, it's "the hood" but to all your fans, it's a slice of the 'high life.' You are so delusional. Everything you do or have is exaggerated or embellished. You seriously outta get yourself a part time job in a jazz band, playing the horn because you're an expert at tooting your own horn.

 

You never made me feel loved. You did, however, make me feel insecure, used, taken for granted, taken advantage of. Way to go, slugger.

 

You don't deserve someone like me; someone who is loving and caring and compassionate (qualities you used to openly mock me for - you sick f*ck). Someone who is independent and self-reliant. Someone who is loyal and honest and trustworthy.

 

The only thing I take comfort in is knowing that Karma exists and one day you will get what's coming to you in that regard. what goes around DOES come around. I hope Karma knocks you on your ass.

[v33]

Hey nutjob, how goes?

 

I'm about to head over to my new gf's place to go for a run, then eat some pasta and **** like crazy.

 

Hope life is treating you well.

[FauxVowel]

Ok, I miss you. If you came over right now, I would talk to you. I guess you just gotta catch me in the right mood. Don't call me though. Dick.

[orangehose]

I HATE that I'm not over you yet, that you still dominate so many of my thoughts when you're clearly not WORTH a precious moment of my conscious lifespan.

 

I hate that even when I'm not thinking about you, or going about having 'fun' with my friends, I still have this persistent little sinking feeling in my chest, like something is just not right.

 

I hate that I wake up still thinking about the good times, and then have to think about the bad times to remind myself of how much of a jerk you are and how it's for the best that I found that out sooner rather than later.

 

You're not worth a moment of my time. But I can't simply stop thinking about you. So frustrated with myself!!!

[hurting_in_MA]

Hi there...

I feel like I dreamed about you all night long last night. When I woke up, it seemed like you had been with me. It has been over three months of NC and I am still not able to shake the way that I feel about you. We had such a strong connection, we understood each other, and laughed all the time. I feel like I have been cheated out of something that should still be. I know that you need to be with your children, and that they need you, but are you ok? I have not contacted you, not because I have negative feelings towards you, but out of respect for you and your family. I want you to give this your all without the complication of your feelings for me.

 

Maybe you are happy now. Maybe I helped you to figure out what really matters to you. If that is true, and if you are happy, then I am happy for you. More than anything, I want what is best for everyone.

 

I still feel sad all the time. I miss your friendship the most.

 

I hope you are well.

 

xoxo

 

Thinking about you...

[LikeCharlotte]

XO,

(I've changed your name)

You weren't looking anyway.

-Charlotte

[FauxVowel]

Do you, like, EVER THINK ABOUT ME?????

 

DO YOU????? EVER?????

 

Are you just living happily ever after with your wonderful manager from work that you freaking LEFT ME FOR????? ARE YOU?????

 

Good for you, dude. That's just swell. Well, I guess I must be pissy 'cuz this is the 4th of July. You're not spending it with me. I wanted to go see this **** tonight, but no one else wanted to go, so I'm not gonna do ****. You're prolly goin' with Mr. Wonderful anyway. Great.

 

I don't know how the **** you can sleep at night or live with yourself. It really is amazing. I asked my friend if maybe one day you will stop and realize, "Wow, I did a really ****ty thing to Y", and he said that no, you won't. What the ****. There is no way I could live with myself if I did that **** to someone. I mean, maybe when I was in high school or something, but what the **** dude. I'm talking about the ****ing lying and sneaking around and ****. Obviously YOU KNEW IT WAS WRONG, or else you wouldn't have been trying to hide it from me. So, whatever dude. We're not friends anymore, or anything. I hope you're happy with your decision. Well, really I don't, because I'm not happy with your decision, because I actually really liked you. I cared about you. I ****ing loved you, and that's just ****ed up the way you handled ****. What the **** is up with all the lies????? Why not just tell me the ****ing truth for once? I would respect you so much more, and I could even be your friend. I just don't get it, dude. I thought we were better friends or something, but I guess this new guy is way more important than the years that I've known you. Ok, cool. You don't need me for anything ever again. Have a happy 4th of July.

[sultry33]

i look really hot tonight.. well i did anyway..

cant believe that i have a good night.. bit drunk and still think of you!

you dont deserve my faithfulness you dont deserve me bt damn i cant be with anyone as i still have you in my heart.. im shaking my butt having fun.. but i camnt shake you off

 

i come home alone.. my choice.. i hear arguments instreets.. i wonder if it was cause we had no drama.. i miss you so much and wish i didnt

id love to be holding you right now instead of missing you

 

how did we end up like this??

 

fuxck you and **** me for feeling this way:lmao:

 

you was my forever man, now you are forever gone.. why dont you text or call? i dont want to be fate....

 

love you more xxx

[inulg]

i hope one day you have nothing NOTHING. from anyone. thank you for cursing at me, yelling at me, ignoring me, beating me, and expecting me to know that you've moved on. because thats what you do when you want to break up with someone right? thats what you do to someone you once loved.

[iwish]

Oh babe i can't wait to get over you. I can't wait for the day when i am indifferent to you. You've done nothing wrong in reality. You broke my heart sure, but if you don't want something, you don't have to have it.

 

Of course that hurts me a hell of a lot. It makes me feel as if their is something wrong with me. That i'm just not good enough. The attraction is there and you say that it was the best sex you've ever had and ever likely to have. But that's not enough. You couldn't connect with me about books and music. Not that you ever mentioned that you wanted to talk about these things. I read books, i listen to music and if you wanted to discuss these things we could have. All you had to do was say, 'i'm reading a good book' or i'm listening to this song' But you didn't.

 

Yes we had a very physical relationship and yes we did talk about sex a lot. You could have changed the subject but you didn't. You actually had your fair share of instigating the conversations about sex and what you'd like me to do for you .

 

I mean even yesterday when we met the conversation drifted on to sex. That was started by you. Not me.

 

Oh, i don't know babe. I'm just so fed up feeling blue, sad and alone. Yes i can get with a girl. But none of them are you!. Not one. You seem quite happy with your friendship with your flat mate. Yet you have nothing in common with him either. Except of course smoking weed. Is that why you couldn't get deep with me because you need to be stoned to connect?

 

I hate that i'm still pining for you after so much time since the first split. Yes we were off and on during the time since but you drifted further and further away from me. And now you just don't give a ****. You can pretty much say that 'you're just not into me' with no remorse, no guilt. Nothing. And why not. Yes we were off and on during the last 5 months, but you were'nt there emotionally during that time. Sure you begged and cried at some point to save us as did i.

 

Now it's too far down the line, i shouldn't be like this. You hurt me babe and i should be over you by now. I should at least hate you, for hurting me. For making me feel not good enough. For making me feel so sad. But then that's not your fault is it.. I can choose how to feel with my own mind.

 

I just miss you and want to be with the 'idea' of you. I really miss our physical closeness. But i don't miss the constant rejection that we have now. The constant feeling of not being good enough. I want to be over you already. I want to stop hoping for something that isn't there. I just want to be happy again

[FauxVowel]

What are you calling me for? To **** with me? Well I'm done playin' that **** I ****in' told ya. You're still with Whatshisface anyway. I'd like to text that ****er, but **** it. I'm not even responding. I know you'll show up here sooner or later. I am the ****ing Y for crying out loud. Plan of action was ignore calls (done), and then you will come over. It's just a matter of time. But I'm sorry, you really f'd up this time. Do you think I'm just gonna forget every fricking night that I went to bed alone, while you ****ing gave yourself to this ****in' guy????? The whole thing ****ing DISGUSTS me. Seriously. I don't even wanna hear what you have to say, 'cuz it's gonna be lies anyway. I'm changin' my # ASAP. I knew you would miss me. You're so ****ing stupid. You are so damn frustrating!!!!!!!111111111111111111

Why did you have to go and ruin ****???//

 

WHY????????///////////11111111111111111111111111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111111

[ioncebelieved]

I still ****ing think you are coward and you couldn't even say goodbye in a proper, respectful, loving and mature way!! I can't wish you happiness right now for all you have done and one day all those lies you told will come back to haunt you. One day your husband will realize there is a better person out there for him, since you lied to him too!!! Come to think of it, you are a ****ing lie!!!!!!! Oh how I loved and believed you and now I am left with the **** you left. You are truly a selfish bitch that deserves some ****ed up Karma!! Maybe one day when you get your act together you will reappear at my door and I will have the opportunity to decide whether or not I want you in my wonderful life!

[inulg]

...i think i'm moving on? i've moved on from ' i love you still' to.. ' i love you still but i just wanna be friends again' lol

 

i guess its kinda late for that. and i just called you and left a voice mail that you will probably delete. i wish you would just talk to me and we could straighten things out.

[Integrare]

You make me so upset. I have a list of 50,000 reasons why you are no good for me, yet I can't get this f-ing feeling out. I've done things with other women thinking that that'll get rid of the feeling, and you still sit in this place inside of me. WTF...I hate the fact that no matter how much I try to convince myself that you aren't the one for me, my STUPID heart tells me otherwise. The worst part is, I have a feeling that if you find this out about me and how I feel, you will be rejoicing upon my pain. You'd laugh and share with your friends how Bill is a psycho, or Bill is such a puss. I had these feelings that run deep to the core, I don't know why I continue to waste them on you. I'm glad you can move on so easily, enjoy your' shallow relationships with multiple men. At least you have something to bond with your mother over now.

[Rav]

I've been waiting expectantly for this moment. You are finally out of my life for good. But fate is cruel and it seems every day I learn something else about you I never imagined could be tree. It seems despite all that we shared I never knew you at all and you lead multiple lives. I wonder what your friends and your ex-fiance who you might be reconciling with would think about this new guy who has declared his undying love for you after two short months. I'll admit, there is something about you that is irresistible.

 

The problem is that you're building every relationship you have on deceit. I spoke to a mutual friend and he's never even heard you mention this new guy. Soon enough, it all catches up to you. Yet you wonder why you are getting older and still not married. You blame everyone but yourself.

 

The last time I saw you, the sparkle seemed to be fading from your eyes. You can't just keep giving yourself away hoping it will fulfill you.

 

What gets me the most is that I realize who I thought you were was nothing more than a mask. So who are you?

[sao2]

Goodbye,

I wish you the best. I just can't let you occupy my thoughts any longer.

Always,

Me

[Whey2Big4u]

hey v,

 

yeah remember who it is......yeah the guy who apparently was just a body, the guy who apparently did nothing for you. yeah its me.

 

just wondering how all your big plans turned out.....

 

oh you didnt move out? oh wait yeah i heard you lost that amazing job and you didnt move up like you thought you were going to. Oh and now you dont make any money. I guess I cant bail you out of this one

 

 

Oh and how are your firends...oh wait they all left you becasue they all realized what a controlling bitch you really were, but at least you made friends with that Whore Julia, good infliuence i hope...so I heard. Remebr to use some icey hot on those hips, dont wanna get athritis from opening your legs so much.

 

 

Hope your parents are doing fine, they dont deserve a duagheter like you. and your little sister doesnt need a role model such as yourslef.

 

yeah Im doing fine with out you, I am actually making something of myself and have a **** load of friends now, meeting new girls, all of them better than you in bed. at least they move.......havent met any dead fish yet

 

I heard the guys youve met are nasty ruskies who only use you....Karmas a bitch and so are you

 

*CLICK**

[inulg]

so.. i'm glad you finally got in contact with me. and i'm glad youre seeking help. i cant help but have my shakey little heart feel like i still love you. i want to be friends. but i still love you. whats wrong with me? i'm so glad you're finally getting help, i'm so glad you seem so much better! but ... for some reason, in the back of my head, i'm hoping that you miss me, and that you want me back. i think its because once you change, i want you back. not now, youre in the middle of things. but once you've completely made a turnaround, i want to be with you again . i still cant beleive you've been getting help. you ... arent angry like you used to be. its weird.

 

i'm so scared. i'm just praying now for God to keep me strong. things are so confusing. i'm not going to let my hopes up for you, if i am important to you, you need to show it. Yes i am leaving my heart open, but yes i'm moving on as well. lets see if you come back before i fall in love again i guess...? *cry*

 

i miss you.

i'm so confused.