Heal Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 Girl, i hate you so much right now. You are being flakey and yet you think that's cool. When you're sick you want sympathy and i give you it, but then you get better and who do you tell that you're busy? Me! You're a selfish arsehole and **** you for playing me and stupid me for letting you. Hate that you have me on this string. I hate it so much and i can't wait till i'm off it. Just when the hell is that going to be? You insensitve, selfish, ignorant bitch. Link to post Share on other sites
loveinlife Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 I finally realized what i did wrong. The karma is coming back to me. I am doing the same thing to this new girl im dating as you've done to me. I understand now. No one ever wants to be second in a relationship. Me hanging with a lot of girls has made a bad image of myself eventhough i have never done anything intimate with them when we have broken up. Therefore your friends were wrong for accusing me as a bad guy. You should know me well enough to understand I love you and would not have any girls get in the way. I was foolish during parts of my life because i was still mad at you for leaving me. It took me 2 years to start another relationship with someone else, such a long time to forget the pain and the happy memories we have shared together. Those times were the greatest part of my life. It was the first of everything for me, living with someone, sex, and etc... Thanks for being such a great gift in my life. It was nice seeing you the other night at the club. Three nights ago to be exact. Although you weren't smiling as big as you once did before your father passed away 8 months ago; but, i do remember the times before, when your smile shined and lit the entire life of me. Everything you did, i enjoyed. You were definitely number in my life. I would have given you my all. Sometimes i felt you didn't appreciate all the things i did for you, sometimes its true. Regardless of the past history. I would like to talk to you again. I know we have something together still. I can see us being together once more. Hope you get some rest tonight. Best wishes to you, love Sam. Call me soon! thanks =) Link to post Share on other sites
tealeafbud Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 I find myself letting go of you. expressing what I'm feeling right now is good because you'll never know how truly i am almost over you. I hope that someday we can know how truly blessed we were to know each other. Link to post Share on other sites
RogueAC Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 Mornings are the hardest. I used to kiss your face and you would hold me. I have been crying the shower when I get ready for work. I miss you. Link to post Share on other sites
Marzy_Monarch Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 Hey You, I just wanted to let you know that I expected SO much more from you. I give you 150% always & honestly I really just wanted 70% back. I miss the way you put me first & I've noticed lately that I've been second to everyone. I miss the old you & I know now that this person you are now is the present you. I gave you everything I had & I've been there through so much for you. I don't understand how you can know this and be so cold. I can't stick around and waste my time any longer. One day you'll look back & realize just how precious a thing you've just thrown away. I just hope I'll be happy without you by that time. Link to post Share on other sites
ahhhchooo Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 You really don't know the life you missed out on. 24 and you haven't learned a darn thing yet. What I hate is I know I'm going to be there to catch you when you fall. What I hate more is that I dread never having to catch you. Link to post Share on other sites
Ingenue Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 (I'm not sure if I'll be this peaceful about my ex tomorrow, but I thought I should post it now anyways) It's only been two months since you broke up with me in a most callous way. But I spoke to a friend yesterday who gave me some perspective. I understand that breaking up with me was not an easy choice for you, especially considering your past. I forgive you and I understand why you did it. I wish you the best of luck and hope that you find what you're looking for. I hope that if you make mistakes, you will pick yourself up and learn from them. Most of all, I hope that wherever your travels lead you, you will not have a life with regrets. Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 I see the little colored dot next to your name on my buddy list, which means you're online, and I am so, so tempted to simply click on it and write "hey." I'm even more tempted to dial your number on my phone. But what then. You'll probably answer with a flat "hey," and I'll have to drag some half-assed apology out of you. If I contact you now I'll never know if you genuinely cared, if you would have ever contacted me on your own. The answer is probably no. But that shouldn't matter, right? I shouldn't be trying to reconcile with you anyway. I just want some gesture, some sign that you care half a fcvk about what we built over the last year, that your words to me meant anything. Why are you so robotic? Why? What would it take to get any kind of emotional response whatsoever out of you? I've never even seen you shed a tear. Once you tried to make yourself cry because you were so disturbed by the fact that you couldn't. Some essential connection in you is missing. You're unplugged. God, it makes me so angry and hurt. Why do I even care? Link to post Share on other sites
sunshinegirl Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 I see the little colored dot next to your name on my buddy list, which means you're online, and I am so, so tempted to simply click on it and write "hey." I'm even more tempted to dial your number on my phone. But what then. You'll probably answer with a flat "hey," and I'll have to drag some half-assed apology out of you. If I contact you now I'll never know if you genuinely cared, if you would have ever contacted me on your own. The answer is probably no. But that shouldn't matter, right? I shouldn't be trying to reconcile with you anyway. I just want some gesture, some sign that you care half a fcvk about what we built over the last year, that your words to me meant anything. Why are you so robotic? Why? What would it take to get any kind of emotional response whatsoever out of you? I've never even seen you shed a tear. Once you tried to make yourself cry because you were so disturbed by the fact that you couldn't. Some essential connection in you is missing. You're unplugged. God, it makes me so angry and hurt. Why do I even care? Whoa, Shadowplay, this describes my ex to a tee. Except I have seen him cry, twice: both times when he was breaking up with me. I'm left with exactly the same wish: some gesture, some sign that he cared about our time together, that he wasn't just blowing smoke up my ass when he talked about buying a place together. Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 Whoa, Shadowplay, this describes my ex to a tee. Except I have seen him cry, twice: both times when he was breaking up with me. I'm left with exactly the same wish: some gesture, some sign that he cared about our time together, that he wasn't just blowing smoke up my ass when he talked about buying a place together. I was actually remembering your description of him when I wrote that. I think they're quite similar personality-wise. My mother (a psychologist) is convinced that my ex had some mild form of autism or Aspergers. I wonder if yours might too. She described him as "unplugged." She said when she talked to him she got the sense that he related to everybody exactly the same way, which is true. You know how most people adapt the way they relate to the person they're with? Like somebody doesn't usually relate to a stranger, to a parent and to a lover in the same way. My ex does. I used to find it disturbing. It was like he wasn't ever really talking to the other person, or aware of their unique personality, he was just thinking out loud to whomever happened to be in earshot. I never felt appreciated or acknowledged as a unique individual. It was impossible to connect with him emotionally in a deep way. I wanted a profound connection and he simply wanted something light and shallow. At first I was convinced he had some wall up, but I don't anymore. I've picked his brain long enough to know there's nothing deep there. He's not a bad person; he's just kind of wired like a robot. He's missing some essential component. He can only see what is immediately in front of him; his emotions don't carry over or linger once the trigger is gone. Does your ex compartmentalize too? From what I know about your ex, and guys of this ilk, I suspect it's also brain wiring. I don't believe your ex harbors some secret bubbling well of emotion waiting to be tapped. He's probably just empty. What you see is what you get. My ex was also extremely practical, liked fixing things, math-oriented, not comfortable with emotional discussions. Didn't have impressionistic reactions to things. Everything was kind of concrete and literal. Even when he was joking or making witty remarks it was always about the mundane, immediate and concrete. He couldn't transcend that level. And the funny thing is he told me I was the closest by far he'd ever been to another person. I find this sad because I've been so much closer to other people than I have/was to him. Well, at least your ex cried when your relationship ended. Mine simply asked me if I wanted a ride home and then spent the night chuckling over something stupid on his computer. Another time I broke up with him he reacted by saying OK and playing online chess. We should ask ourselves why as sensitive, reflective women with a strong need for deep emotional connection, why we would be drawn to men like this? My father and brother are kind of like this, so maybe that's part of the puzzle. What are your male relatives like? The one consoling thougth I keep returning to is I know for a fact he could have never provided the deep connection I yearn for. I would have always felt like something essential was missing. Link to post Share on other sites
sunshinegirl Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 Eric, what is with you and my dreams? This is maddening. Dreamed last night that you dumped your kid with me, Matt, and Kristin and took off climbing at Yosemite with some guy. You knew I was there, hoping to talk to you, look you in the eye, and you refused all eye contact. You definitely did not look happy, but you were wearing your 'blank' face. You wouldn't acknowledge me, it was like I didn't exist. You got in your car and drove off without looking back. Obviously I'm trying to work through the idea that you can completely shut me down and shut me out, forget about me entirely, compartmentalize our whole relationship and pretend it didn't happen or something. It is so painful that you would do such a thing, but I suppose it is a reflection of you and your disconnect, and not a reflection on me. How can you ever be deeply happy, Eric, when you are so shut down emotionally? I noticed, by the way, that your condo has been on the market for what, 10 days, and you have already dropped the price by 10k. Why are you so desperate to get out? Link to post Share on other sites
tensor Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 Well, I've finally built up the strength to stop all of this. I want to be your friend, I want you in my life, but I can't be a part of yours. I tell myself you used me, I tell myself that everything that happened was just to satisfy the question of whether or not we'd have made it together. I can't keep talking to you like nothing is wrong, I can't pretend that I'm alright anymore. If our friendship ever meant anything, then I need your help now. I need you to block me out, I need you to cut things off from your end as well. As long as it's possible for me to look you up, to see you, to watch your belly grow I'll give in. You're the greatest friend I've ever had, and I still can't believe that it's come to this... Link to post Share on other sites
sunshinegirl Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 Hey Shadow, I PM'ed you. Link to post Share on other sites
nowhereman82 Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 SSG and Shadow, your men almost sound like me. While going through the break up process over several weeks I couldn't break down and cry....and it drove me nuts. Mentally I was reacting but not emotionally. The last day I spent with her before she moved out she was holding me....and I mentioned I wanted to cry and couldn't. She said one sentence..."no ones here to judge you" and I just broke down like a baby with uncontrollable crying, the kind that racks your body. I hadn't cried like that for 12 years or more. It felt good...I randomly cry now but it's not the same. I think as men, society ingrains in us to not be emotional. Link to post Share on other sites
nowhereman82 Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 The thoughts and feelings for you fade...something inside me reacts and brings it all to the forefront again. The dreams are horrible. Why would my mind do this to itself? In my dream I was at my grandparents and your family and mine were there for 4th of July. I had to leave because you were on your way with your new bf. I understood I had to leave...and then my grandma called your new guy....and she got the voicemail and your voice was there. You had recorded a voicemail message for him. A VOICEMAIL MESSAGE!? WTF Why did that illicet so much emotional response from me? I can't help that I love you...but I wish the dreams would go away. I shared with you what an old man shared with me randomly during our break up...I had not mentioned my personal life, but it was like he could see into my soul and knew what I was thinking. "Do not be angry at her...for at the time, what she was doing, in her mind, was right. You can be disappointed, but never be angry" I am trully disappointed. I thought you were a stronger woman. You left because in the end you didn't have the strength. So you took the easy way out. How long is the new guy going to distract you from what is really bothering you? The fallout is going to be bad.... Link to post Share on other sites
Tripped up Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 I just called to ask you a few things. I feel that I have been used for some time. Remember when we met, and you blushed so red everyone called you out on it and you ran away? Remember when we would wrestle out in the rain and mud, and then totally lie about who won? Remember movie and taco night, how much fun we had with one another? Remember braving the tequilla and tobasco (ouch btw) shots at the bar? Remember sleeping with your head on my chest everynight? Remember when I first said I love you and you said it back? Remember when you were evicted? How I offered you a place to stay with no financial obligations until you got on your feet? Remember when you were arrested and I bailed you out and waited for you for 3 hours to pick you up? Remember when you decided that drinking and cocaine was better than being in a relationship with me? Remember when you said all the awful things you said to me while doing the drugs? I never knew words like that could pass through such a pretty smile. Remember bringing those drugs into the apartment, lying to me about it because we were not "together"? Remember how I never let you hit the ground, you stayed with me while not even together with me, just because the alternative was horrible for you. Remember how you made me feel after you decided you wanted to be back with me? How uncertain you were about me? Remember when your dog was quarintined, and I bailed the dog out and got her back home? Remember the counseling visits I paid for because you needed some sort of medicine to help level you out? Do you remember seeing me cry? Do you forgive me for what I did? Did you ever consider, just once, what all of this was putting me through? Most of all, do you ever remember me? Day 4 NC. Link to post Share on other sites
SnowWhite924 Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 Hey, hope you're doing okay. I'm sorry the way I ended it. I know you thought I'd contact you when you got back from vacation but I just couldn't. I didn't know what to say. I got the picture of the sunrise you sent me. It was nice but I didn't want to respond. I guess I didn't want to start again. I've had good days and bad days but mostly good days. I hate to say it but not being in a relationship with you has removed that heavy weight off my shoulders. I tried over and over again to make it work, for us to be at a place where it would work but it was just too much for me. I couldn't handle the lies and deception. That's not the kind of life I want. So, it's been hard at times. I miss you. I can hear your voice and see your face and sometimes, I laugh out loud because I remember something funny you've told me. I remember the day we were in your car once when we broke up and you said to me 'we know we love each other'. I'm holding on to that. JC, I know you love me and I love you too and I'm sorry I couldn't continue. I feel like I lost my best friend and I know you are hurting. I log onto my email everyday secretly hoping you will initiate contact but at the same time, I don't want to get back with you. I'm actually afraid of talking to you because I know how it's going to end. It's going to end by me telling you it's over. We'll cry and get hurt and you'll want me to figure out a way but I can't anymore. I think about you all day. I wonder how you are. And I know, without a doubt, you are thinking of me too. So, I am holding on to that. I also know that one day our paths will cross. I still have your childhood pixs I need to give you. Maybe one day we'll get to the point where we can just hang and be friends, real friends. But it's not now. I'm hurting and so are you. I still log on our Youtube account. I haven't found any songs for us to share but I've been looking to see if you've been on. Maybe you will one day. We'll be okay. Hang in there my friend. Go bike riding and go to our spot on the beach. One day, I'll go there too and leave you a message somewhere. Take care of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
HopeDiesLast Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 Ya know...i'm just so damn pissed off at you. thats it. i really wish i had something nice to say to you. i could catch you up on my life these last few months, but if you really cared you would have called to find out yourself. yeah i know what you're gonna say. you dont wanna call and chat with me because it would make it harder on me. whatever. that really makes me even more pissed. bc it shows u still care. u care just not how i want you to. Let me ask you this- how did you just not feel it anymore? cus now i want to not feel it anymore either. i want this to all disappear. the feelings i get when i think/see/hear you- i want it to all go away. so tell me what your secret was- how did u get it to stop? You're gonna say you didnt do it on purpose. but i think u did. i think u were so terrified of where you saw this going that your fear made your heart get itself out of this. You told me from the beginning you wanted the same things i did. and i truly believe that you do. i always have. you let me trust you. i told you that if u saw this going nowhere to let me know- and u insisted that we'd be forever. and slowly we began to get there...we had such a great relationship. but when i REALLY took steps to get us closer to marriage and the life we wanted- u did too. u tried. and u gave up. WHY? why couldnt u do it? why couldnt u actually buy the ring? why couldnt u actually take that last class for ur degree? what stopped u? was it the appeal of hanging out with your friends and partying? the fear it would all go away? cus last time i checked i said dont stop the partying- just dont put it before me. so is that it- ud rather party with them than have a future with me? You're content with your life right now, you said. Drinking is a big part of who u are. So because i dont drink till 5am, thats a deal breaker? u said u didnt know. u said u werent sure. do you know now? Who u are was a loving, compassionate person. Who u are was laughter, and football and family. Who you are was helping a stranger on the street, saving all your left overs from a great meal to give to someone else so they could experience it too. Who you are was experincing new things together, wanting a family. Wanting to be able to have all the things you saw your clients with, actually holding a job and working over time at it so u can afford things u wanted. Who u are is loving children, and dogs and sports and having fun. THATS who u are. not drinking. You said you didnt think you should have to try this hard. that a relationship should flow- you werent trying. i was. i was paying for everything, making plans, picking u up, figuring out dinner, making sure you paid your bills on time, buying stuff to bring to YOUR friend's party. how were you trying? i did it all. and i did it all for you. maybe were too different you said. yes were very different. but we want the same things in life. the difference being i want them, and im going to get them. u want them, but do nothing to get yourself to the place where you can have them. im tired. im exhausted. im so sick of doing everything. at the end i was in this on my own. and that hurt me more than anything else. that you just gave up. that it got hard and you had to really try and instead of doing that you walked away from me. you said forever- but you walked away. Link to post Share on other sites
ahhhchooo Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 You think our discussions are bringing us closer again, but you're pushing me away at the same time. You'll have an answer in a week? I know you're going through a tough time but think to the future - there is no future but misery in the path you are taking. Come back. I always took care of you and I always will. Don't make this mistake. Link to post Share on other sites
BackonTrack Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Hello, I've just noticed that I have given up hope of you returning about 1-2 months ago. I have stop going throw the breakup in my mind. I have stop thinking about you non stop. My feelings are almost gone, that intense feeling of longing & being in love has now went away. I feel hate for you now more than love. I feel I am reaching the stage of indifference. I have vision os you sometimes, it started after our break, I could use you watching TV, painting your nails and just sitting on the couch. About a month later, I seen you wakling in the park, with a male figure, it wasthen I realized that your new mate has become apart of you, that you have fallen for him. It took you 9 months of cheating on me to reach the level where your new guy took my place. You started this breakup process long before I, I am only now catching up. I ibelieve in another 2 months, I will be at the level where you are no longer in my heart and I will be able to freely give it to another. I don't know what to make of us, I tell myself it was all a lie, u never loved me, u tricked me for so long. It was all a lie, the whole relationship was a big fat lie. I can't believe it. Link to post Share on other sites
BackonTrack Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 You ****ing whore. You ****ing whore. YOu stupid ****ing whore, I don't know I ever loved you. You ****ing whore, I hate you now, I ****ing wish I would of choked you that day. I let you off the hook so easy, you ****ing whore, you are lucky you got away. You stupid bitch, I should of ****ing murdered you that night. i'm just a man sweety, just a regular man, i am a little smart, i have a business, i have a little money, i am kind, people like me, but thats it. I can do spectactular things if i choose too, it appears I am choosing to be ordinary, I am not living up to my standard, I just want some money, a wife, a good life, thats it baby girl. I am not the same person from before, I changed, I don't know if its for the best or for the worst, I think its for the worst, you broke me, I don't even know if I'm repaired, a situtation has to come up, lets see if I will rise to the challenge, a situtation did come up, i didn't rise to the occasion, i wonder if its to late for me to be that person i always dreamed to be, it was suppose to be me and you, i was suppose to be that person with you, while you were around, i was already falling, you stoped me, leveled me out, now i'm falling again, i stoped myself, but i am not climbing back up, i'm just moving forward, not upward. I needed you baby, I really needed you, I know I am doing find on my own, but you m ade me stronger, u made me better, why did you cheat on me? Why didn't you stop? Why did you leave me? How come U didn't know I loved you? Why did you go exploring? Its all the same thing. U find someone whom you don't mind being around, then u make it work. Its all the same sweety, life is what u make it, not what someone else makes it. wait wait a minute, if i'm feeling like this, and we were together but you were getting over me, how the hell did you feel about me??? If you feel as if I do right now, why did you even keep coming around????? U couldn't of felt this sense of disdain about me, maybe you did but you still loved me, I didn't do anythingn to you. Ok yes I DID put you on a pedistol, I was inlove with you, I won't do that again, wow I hadn't realized I done that, your just a regular girl who likes to do fun things, drink wine, hang out, go places, smoke weed, u know, fun stuff, those pills though, are not good, they are too addictive, i hope i was able to get you off of them, wow your a pill-popping, cheating, lieing, backstabbing, two-timing, no job, no school, no future, whore. wow, thats the truth, i thought you were someone else, i thought you were the person you were projecting to me, maybe thats the person you WOULD LIKE to be, be yourself bitch, i was myself, i showed you what you were getting from day one, a smart, urban, business-minded entropnour, who occiousnally cusses people out and have a classis mentaility on people status, a person who argues intensely with their family, and do esn't give a **** about anyone opinion, you know what the **** you were getting, i got a ****ing bag of lies. trickster bitch, why did you even bother lieing, be yourself whore. I have been fighting these feelings of hate I have for you, fighting to NOT hate you, I can't do it anymore, I have give in. The hate is seeping through my brain on a concious level, its to late now. 5 months and no word from you, we can never be together again, you ****ing whore, you ****ed everything up. why did you do that, why did you ****ing do that, your so stupid, your so ****ing stupid. I am claming down, I am no longer angry, I have nothing to say, it didn't work out, I'm going to smoke a cig now, take a shower, then go to the gym. Each morning, more feelings just bleeds out of me, I am fighting a battle within myself, I feel a great sense of disgust when someone mentions your name, 5 months and I'm not over it. I am getting there, I am getting there. You betrayed me, you fooled me for so long, I thought you loved me. U didn't love me, I was right from the begining, you only enjoyed the lifestyle I brought to the table, I was so right, everything I said, came to pass, I shouldn't of got involved with you, you just ****ed my whole head up, now I'm the one suffering. If you wanted more, why didn't you ****ing say something, u couldn't you were to ****ing childish, I can't understand your childish language, your ****ing dumb, grow the **** up, you stupid bitch, how the **** was i suppose to know whats on your mind, do i look like a ****ing physic, you dumb bitch, you go and start ****ing someone, then fooled me for MONTH, FOR ****ING MONTHS, i am so stupid, i thought you were a good person, you dumb bitch. i can't believe I was so stupid, oh my god I was stupid, you had my complete trust, i trusted you blindly, I was so foolish to do that, look what you did, look what you ****ing did to me, you don't even know, it doesn't even matter to you, its like going into a school, killing 10 people then walking out and having ice cream, you ****ing whore, i don't even hate you, i am mad at myself for being so stupid, for believing in you, for thinking u loved me, I was such a fool. Everything was all a lie, I was so stupid, I can't even forgive myself, you dumb bitch, how could I have been so stupid, it was your smile, your pretender image of a good girl, "we are not like that", you are ****ING exactly like that, U were scared to become like that, was it me??? was it me who changed you?????? I don't know, you dumb cunt, I live a good life, my influence over people is great, they always go astray, they can't handle temptation, you are one of those people, you should of borrowed my strength, stayed with me, you would of been OK. Dumb whore, your so stupid, you dumb bitch. how or why did this even happen? how the **** did this even happen? i take my eyes off you for one second and what do you do, you go and start sucking someone's cock, i was busy getting money for us you stupid cunt. you dumb bored, you don't know the good life, your family is broken, you don't get along with your sister, you don't even know nothing about your religion, you can't even pass your ****ing stock broker test, all you can do is suck & ****, that is your value, you are more than that, your so stupid, listening to your stupid friends who are single and have no body, who are materialistic, your so ****ing dumb, they don't know what good living is. I showed you good living, "You have no problem with sharing", you stupid bitch, who has a problem with sharing? dumb cunt, u need drama, u need excitement, bitch, go read a book or find a hobby, ****ing cunt. that last comment was funny, lol. I wonder if you were going through all of this while we were supposely together and you were secertly getting over me, you selfish bitch, didn't even have the balls to end things and stand on your own two feet. ****ing whore, grow a backbone, well actually you did grow one, when you told me to **** off, lol you go girl, dumb cunt, why am i even mad, your nothing, dumb little girl, whois father doesn't talk to her, who mother is an anal retard, whois sister is a whore, i guess it runs in the family, the only one who came out good was our brother, you even gave me an std, i took the blame for it, it wasn't even me, i found out after we broke up, so you were having an affair on me, cheated on me for 6 months, blamed me for everything, rationalized your actions, played victium, oh my god, thats allot of work, how did you manage to keep the lies together, oh i forgot, thats what your accustom to doing, ok so lets keep it going, your father was disbared, he can't pratice law anymore, he was kicked out the senate, the home you own, is not yours, you rent it, yet tell everyone your family owns it, what else? lie to your parents about having sex, you father is broken, your mom rules him, your a peace of ****. wait a minute, after i just read that last paragraph, i realized the image i had of you was all lies, wow, i am not even lieing in my above statements, its the truth, its really easy to accept, in reality, i must of put you on a pedistol, i think i did that, your just a normal down to earth girl, maybe i treated you to good? I think I might have smoothered you, I didn't let you take the train, I picked you up, every morning gave you breakfast and dinner, u didn't ask for much, its so crazy, i don't understand how things went sour between us. Now I'm confused again, I'm not angry anymore, everyone told me you two two faced, i see it now, one side is a good loving girl, the other side is a liier, cheat, backstabber, maybe you are one person?? but have two pe rsonailities? in the end, u showed me both of yor faces in one person and from the just of it, it looks like you were unhappy with the way i was treating you, or maybe unhappy because i didn't listen to you, well grow the **** up and talk to me like a women, lol, you actually did, when you totld me to **** off. lol, u even made me feel like a bully for cussing you out for going out there & cheating on me, why did you even start playing games?? you can't handle that lifestyle, or maybe you can, its like i was a big expirment, so you can know what to do & not do with men, i was a test-tube baby, well atleast you ****ed up on me as opposed to your futher husband, oh wait, i thought i wanted to marry you. you told my cousin "i'm so glad I didn't ger pregnaught, I'm so glad I didn't get pregnaught", yeah you should be happy you stupid cunt, I saved your dumb ass, I always save you from yourself, it wasn't you who caused you to not get pregnaught, it was me and me buying those ****ing $64 morning after pills, those ****s are expensive, give me back my ****ing sweater your whore, I still want my sweater back, you ****ing cunt. Whats so hard to ****ing mail the ****. LOL, i'm trypping crazyness to myself, it's making me laught, lol.... Whatever baby girl, you'll be back, I don't even want to **** you, I loved ****ing you, I don't even want to **** you, I think i downgraded you a notch, I want you to suck my cock only, then **** if I'm arroused. Wow, your down graded in my eyes, wait a minute, if your down graded in my eyes, what am I to you, I wouldn't know, hadn't called you since that day I went mad & drove by your house 5 months ago. I wonder if you'll pick up, it doesn't matter, your only value is pussy anyway. later whore, try not to get used up. you are just a regular girl, you are just a regular girl like everyone else and our relationship didn't work out, i carried the relationship for so long, u never put in your work, it was always u following my lead, bitch be indeppendent, i am not ****ing conan the barbrian, i get tired too, i need rest too, what the ****, i need an equal, not someone who follows behind me, although, i liked when you followed behind and allow now, i just need someonoe to follow behind me, were you two dosile? u let me push you around for a while, things were never on a even level, hrm, damn, u were just young, didn't know ****. i didn't know what i wanted to do with you, i just liked ****ing you, give me pussy and we'llhave a relationship, lol, you dumb cunt, u never brought your talents to the table, you only helped me, i guess thats what females are suppose to do, i need a ****ing equal, i miss you though, i never wanted you, but istayed with you, i wasn't going to leave you either, well maybe, i don[t know.... na i would of never left you, u were nice to me & i am loyal. I was nice to you, you fel hard to fast, way to fast, way way to fast, slow d own your emmotions bitch, i know you like my cock, actually you loved my cock, i stopped ****ing you like i use too though, man if i have to keep ****ing you to keep you in check, this relationship was doomed to failed, i'm tired whore, i need a break too sometimes, i am not a machine, what did you expepct from me. Link to post Share on other sites
HopeDiesLast Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 It shouldnt have been you. someone else could have broken my heart and i woulda said "thats life." it shouldnt have been you. NOT YOU. I love you so f***ing much. Why did you do this to us??????????? Link to post Share on other sites
orangehose Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Dear ex, Fortunately you have been occupying a much smaller proportion of my mental space in recent weeks (got more important things to care about), but I was forced to think about you today and realized I still have a good chunk of anger, several months out. I do really wish you ill. I fantasize about you being struck down by a stroke of lightening, but then that seems like too mercifully quick of a death. Perhaps some slow, agonizing terminal illness? Here's to hoping. I think you're a dismal, cowardly human being - not for breaking up with me, but for the WAY in which you did it. I was a nice person who treated you well. I deserved a better breakup than the one you gave me. Meanwhile, if you do occasionally think of me, it's probably to pat yourself on the back and gloat over getting rid of me, the dirt that you casually scraped off your shoe. I know and hope that my anger will continue to fade over time, that I will eventually forgive when I feel truly ready. But in the meantime, you should know that there is at least one human being on this planet who wishes you the very worst in life. A pox on your house! Link to post Share on other sites
Tripped up Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 hello again, After the wrongs you have done me. Things you said to me and about me. I forgave. I took you back, loved you, took care of you. After being a pillar in your life when you needed it most, you run from me when I need you most. I know I made a mistake too. But then you tell me that not everything is about me? Really?? ITS NEVER BEEN ABOUT ME! ITS ALWAYS BEEN ABOUT YOU! How you could even say this pisses me off and destroys my heart all at once. Everything I did was about and for you. Were you just looking for a way out? Had you already had your eye on your ex or someone new? How am I so easy to drop? Will I ever speak to you ever again. My guess would be no, you will never miss me, love me, or call me again. I have always loved you unconditionally, I pray that someday you realize this. Day 5 NC. Link to post Share on other sites
nopainnogain Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 You ****ing whore. You ****ing whore. YOu stupid ****ing whore, I don't know I ever loved you. You ****ing whore, I hate you now, I ****ing wish I would of choked you that day. I let you off the hook so easy, you ****ing whore, you are lucky you got away. You stupid bitch, I should of ****ing murdered you that night. i'm just a man sweety, just a regular man, i am a little smart, i have a business, i have a little money, i am kind, people like me, but thats it. I can do spectactular things if i choose too, it appears I am choosing to be ordinary, I am not living up to my standard, I just want some money, a wife, a good life, thats it baby girl. I am not the same person from before, I changed, I don't know if its for the best or for the worst, I think its for the worst, you broke me, I don't even know if I'm repaired, a situtation has to come up, lets see if I will rise to the challenge, a situtation did come up, i didn't rise to the occasion, i wonder if its to late for me to be that person i always dreamed to be, it was suppose to be me and you, i was suppose to be that person with you, while you were around, i was already falling, you stoped me, leveled me out, now i'm falling again, i stoped myself, but i am not climbing back up, i'm just moving forward, not upward. I needed you baby, I really needed you, I know I am doing find on my own, but you m ade me stronger, u made me better, why did you cheat on me? Why didn't you stop? Why did you leave me? How come U didn't know I loved you? Why did you go exploring? Its all the same thing. U find someone whom you don't mind being around, then u make it work. Its all the same sweety, life is what u make it, not what someone else makes it. wait wait a minute, if i'm feeling like this, and we were together but you were getting over me, how the hell did you feel about me??? If you feel as if I do right now, why did you even keep coming around????? U couldn't of felt this sense of disdain about me, maybe you did but you still loved me, I didn't do anythingn to you. Ok yes I DID put you on a pedistol, I was inlove with you, I won't do that again, wow I hadn't realized I done that, your just a regular girl who likes to do fun things, drink wine, hang out, go places, smoke weed, u know, fun stuff, those pills though, are not good, they are too addictive, i hope i was able to get you off of them, wow your a pill-popping, cheating, lieing, backstabbing, two-timing, no job, no school, no future, whore. wow, thats the truth, i thought you were someone else, i thought you were the person you were projecting to me, maybe thats the person you WOULD LIKE to be, be yourself bitch, i was myself, i showed you what you were getting from day one, a smart, urban, business-minded entropnour, who occiousnally cusses people out and have a classis mentaility on people status, a person who argues intensely with their family, and do esn't give a **** about anyone opinion, you know what the **** you were getting, i got a ****ing bag of lies. trickster bitch, why did you even bother lieing, be yourself whore. I have been fighting these feelings of hate I have for you, fighting to NOT hate you, I can't do it anymore, I have give in. The hate is seeping through my brain on a concious level, its to late now. 5 months and no word from you, we can never be together again, you ****ing whore, you ****ed everything up. why did you do that, why did you ****ing do that, your so stupid, your so ****ing stupid. I am claming down, I am no longer angry, I have nothing to say, it didn't work out, I'm going to smoke a cig now, take a shower, then go to the gym. Each morning, more feelings just bleeds out of me, I am fighting a battle within myself, I feel a great sense of disgust when someone mentions your name, 5 months and I'm not over it. I am getting there, I am getting there. You betrayed me, you fooled me for so long, I thought you loved me. U didn't love me, I was right from the begining, you only enjoyed the lifestyle I brought to the table, I was so right, everything I said, came to pass, I shouldn't of got involved with you, you just ****ed my whole head up, now I'm the one suffering. If you wanted more, why didn't you ****ing say something, u couldn't you were to ****ing childish, I can't understand your childish language, your ****ing dumb, grow the **** up, you stupid bitch, how the **** was i suppose to know whats on your mind, do i look like a ****ing physic, you dumb bitch, you go and start ****ing someone, then fooled me for MONTH, FOR ****ING MONTHS, i am so stupid, i thought you were a good person, you dumb bitch. i can't believe I was so stupid, oh my god I was stupid, you had my complete trust, i trusted you blindly, I was so foolish to do that, look what you did, look what you ****ing did to me, you don't even know, it doesn't even matter to you, its like going into a school, killing 10 people then walking out and having ice cream, you ****ing whore, i don't even hate you, i am mad at myself for being so stupid, for believing in you, for thinking u loved me, I was such a fool. Everything was all a lie, I was so stupid, I can't even forgive myself, you dumb bitch, how could I have been so stupid, it was your smile, your pretender image of a good girl, "we are not like that", you are ****ING exactly like that, U were scared to become like that, was it me??? was it me who changed you?????? I don't know, you dumb cunt, I live a good life, my influence over people is great, they always go astray, they can't handle temptation, you are one of those people, you should of borrowed my strength, stayed with me, you would of been OK. Dumb whore, your so stupid, you dumb bitch. how or why did this even happen? how the **** did this even happen? i take my eyes off you for one second and what do you do, you go and start sucking someone's cock, i was busy getting money for us you stupid cunt. you dumb bored, you don't know the good life, your family is broken, you don't get along with your sister, you don't even know nothing about your religion, you can't even pass your ****ing stock broker test, all you can do is suck & ****, that is your value, you are more than that, your so stupid, listening to your stupid friends who are single and have no body, who are materialistic, your so ****ing dumb, they don't know what good living is. I showed you good living, "You have no problem with sharing", you stupid bitch, who has a problem with sharing? dumb cunt, u need drama, u need excitement, bitch, go read a book or find a hobby, ****ing cunt. that last comment was funny, lol. I wonder if you were going through all of this while we were supposely together and you were secertly getting over me, you selfish bitch, didn't even have the balls to end things and stand on your own two feet. ****ing whore, grow a backbone, well actually you did grow one, when you told me to **** off, lol you go girl, dumb cunt, why am i even mad, your nothing, dumb little girl, whois father doesn't talk to her, who mother is an anal retard, whois sister is a whore, i guess it runs in the family, the only one who came out good was our brother, you even gave me an std, i took the blame for it, it wasn't even me, i found out after we broke up, so you were having an affair on me, cheated on me for 6 months, blamed me for everything, rationalized your actions, played victium, oh my god, thats allot of work, how did you manage to keep the lies together, oh i forgot, thats what your accustom to doing, ok so lets keep it going, your father was disbared, he can't pratice law anymore, he was kicked out the senate, the home you own, is not yours, you rent it, yet tell everyone your family owns it, what else? lie to your parents about having sex, you father is broken, your mom rules him, your a peace of ****. wait a minute, after i just read that last paragraph, i realized the image i had of you was all lies, wow, i am not even lieing in my above statements, its the truth, its really easy to accept, in reality, i must of put you on a pedistol, i think i did that, your just a normal down to earth girl, maybe i treated you to good? I think I might have smoothered you, I didn't let you take the train, I picked you up, every morning gave you breakfast and dinner, u didn't ask for much, its so crazy, i don't understand how things went sour between us. Now I'm confused again, I'm not angry anymore, everyone told me you two two faced, i see it now, one side is a good loving girl, the other side is a liier, cheat, backstabber, maybe you are one person?? but have two pe rsonailities? in the end, u showed me both of yor faces in one person and from the just of it, it looks like you were unhappy with the way i was treating you, or maybe unhappy because i didn't listen to you, well grow the **** up and talk to me like a women, lol, you actually did, when you totld me to **** off. lol, u even made me feel like a bully for cussing you out for going out there & cheating on me, why did you even start playing games?? you can't handle that lifestyle, or maybe you can, its like i was a big expirment, so you can know what to do & not do with men, i was a test-tube baby, well atleast you ****ed up on me as opposed to your futher husband, oh wait, i thought i wanted to marry you. you told my cousin "i'm so glad I didn't ger pregnaught, I'm so glad I didn't get pregnaught", yeah you should be happy you stupid cunt, I saved your dumb ass, I always save you from yourself, it wasn't you who caused you to not get pregnaught, it was me and me buying those ****ing $64 morning after pills, those ****s are expensive, give me back my ****ing sweater your whore, I still want my sweater back, you ****ing cunt. Whats so hard to ****ing mail the ****. LOL, i'm trypping crazyness to myself, it's making me laught, lol.... Whatever baby girl, you'll be back, I don't even want to **** you, I loved ****ing you, I don't even want to **** you, I think i downgraded you a notch, I want you to suck my cock only, then **** if I'm arroused. Wow, your down graded in my eyes, wait a minute, if your down graded in my eyes, what am I to you, I wouldn't know, hadn't called you since that day I went mad & drove by your house 5 months ago. I wonder if you'll pick up, it doesn't matter, your only value is pussy anyway. later whore, try not to get used up. you are just a regular girl, you are just a regular girl like everyone else and our relationship didn't work out, i carried the relationship for so long, u never put in your work, it was always u following my lead, bitch be indeppendent, i am not ****ing conan the barbrian, i get tired too, i need rest too, what the ****, i need an equal, not someone who follows behind me, although, i liked when you followed behind and allow now, i just need someonoe to follow behind me, were you two dosile? u let me push you around for a while, things were never on a even level, hrm, damn, u were just young, didn't know ****. i didn't know what i wanted to do with you, i just liked ****ing you, give me pussy and we'llhave a relationship, lol, you dumb cunt, u never brought your talents to the table, you only helped me, i guess thats what females are suppose to do, i need a ****ing equal, i miss you though, i never wanted you, but istayed with you, i wasn't going to leave you either, well maybe, i don[t know.... na i would of never left you, u were nice to me & i am loyal. I was nice to you, you fel hard to fast, way to fast, way way to fast, slow d own your emmotions bitch, i know you like my cock, actually you loved my cock, i stopped ****ing you like i use too though, man if i have to keep ****ing you to keep you in check, this relationship was doomed to failed, i'm tired whore, i need a break too sometimes, i am not a machine, what did you expepct from me. LMAO at this. This thread is so full of emotions. Its awsome Link to post Share on other sites
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