Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[pandagirl]

It's apparent you have pulled the disappearing act, the same one you have pulled on many girls before me. I just wish you could've been honest with me. I would have stood. I know I wasn't an angel in all this, but I didn't deserve this.

 

What hurts is that you cared so little to pay me this respect. I wish things could be different. That we could be friends. I messed up sometimes and sent mixed messages, that I didn't mean to.

 

It just sucks that we might never talk to each other again. You're probably fine with that, but it makes me sad, because I care.

[lofi_tokyo]

Hey!

I wish we could talk right now, plainly and openly. I chatted with my friend Louis the other night, and through his own relationship problems with his off again on again ex, I realized what I did that killed you slowly.

 

To be honest, I dropped a lot for you. Too much in fact. I realize that made you uncomfortable. And because I invested so much in you, you felt inadequate or perhaps guilty you didn't give more. At times, I think I was too demanding, I over analyzed a gesture that was unimportant. Other times though, you were in the wrong. For a while, I sugar coated our relationship to my friends... it made me uncomfortable at first, but over time, I lowered my standards more and more.

 

I don't blame either of us, to be honest. We both had our faults in this relationship. You're such a passive guy, you let the world slip by without a care, coasting along. I'm active - always planning and working hard to get what I want. We had a wonderful friendship, above all else. I miss that terribly, but even if you were committed to being my friend now, would I be okay? Probably not. We were caught somewhere between lovers and best friends, it was our comfort zone. To be just friends would never be the same.

 

 

I guess... what I'm trying to say is... I'm alright. We were so happy and so miserable in that relationship, all at once. Long distance was not for us. Were so young, we should live our lives, and honestly I've felt so liberated and outgoing since we broke up. I miss you though. I hope some part of you misses me too. I know you have moved on to dating a girl from your college, you have someone to get you out of the house now, instead of sitting at home all day. I think we both knew that if I lived near you, you would have been so much more alive - and me too. We wouldn't have to be online so much to keep in touch, no phone calls keeping our hearts beating. But two more years of this limbo wasn't working. So I'm okay, I understand. I think we felt the same way.

 

In fact, I am writing this on an online thread because even though I feel this way, I don't want to talk about this with you. In my heart, I will miss our friendship always, and the laughs and smiles and love we shared. But it is time to move on, we need to let ourselves be happy and find out what we really want in life. Were so young.

 

I hope, someday when I move to California for school and to be with my family, when I'm near you again, we can talk. Just as two people who knew eachother once, and are having a chat. I think we need to grow up and be our own people, for the first time in our.... semi-adult lives.

 

AND NOW YOURE TALKING TO ME ONLINE AND IDK WHAT TO DO AHH

[nickelinadime]

**** you.

 

Good ****ing ridance.

[watermeloncandy]

is it really pissing you off now because i haven't returned your call on friday???

or are you really concerned about what on earth i could be SO UPSET about that i'm not calling you back?

are you wondering when i'm going to call you??

you will find out monday, i hope.

please don't contact me.

[sunshinegirl]

Being back in the dating pool has helped remind me of all that I am that's wonderful and attracts a lot of people to me. It's helped me remember that I brought a lot of really wonderful things to YOUR life that you never fully appreciated. I wonder if, as you shop around and date others, you will look back with a different perspective on our relationship - and perhaps wish you hadn't ruined us so thoughtlessly.

 

But, I wonder at times if you damaged me permanently. I had a good second date tonight with a guy who seems to have amazing character and depth. Yet I hesitate - am I attracted to him? What if he has some hidden awful secret? Maybe I don't want this. Maybe I'm tired and not ready. Are you still with the hooch?

[Intergalactic]

hey babe

you never called or txtd me to say goodbye today. i know i asked you not to, so it's really stupid for me to be upset over that, i told you not to contact me AT ALL until i contacted you, if you wished to have any sort of relationship with me, friendship or otherwise, in the future. and i haven't contacted you so far. and yet i feel so much disappointment. what did i expect? did i expect you to come racing to the airport and beg me not to leave, tell me that you'd made a huge mistake and you wanted to take it all back? not really, but a part of me hoped.

and now here i am. an ocean away, and it will be this way for a year. i have made a vow to myself to stay out of any contact with you this year, to better myself and become amazing, physically and mentally, so that when i see you in 12 months time, you will seriously regret what you've done. i know that's mean and probably quite spiteful, but i want you to know what it feels like to want someone who isn't sure they want to give anything back.

i don't really have anything new to say. it's been 6 days since we've spoken - the longest amount of time since we met all those years ago. it's very very hard for me, and i wonder; is it hard for you too? do you miss me like i miss you? does it feel empty, the place i once held in your heart? my heart feels empty, and i long for you. but every time i feel myself caving, i remember how much it hurt to hear those words coming from you, you telling me you weren't sure you felt the same anymore, you telling me you were unable to commit to working out our problems. basically telling me that this relationship with me just wasn't worth it to you anymore.

i don't cry now. i just feel numb, and sometimes i panic at the thought of not seeing you or speaking to you for so long.

also, please stop putting pictures up on facebook - i can't stand seeing you having fun and looking so good, even if it's only every so often. i want you miserable. just like me.

[Ingenue]

I'm approaching almost 80 days of NC with you and suddenly tonight I want to contact you. In 3 days it will be the 3 month mark since you broke up with me. Tonight has been espcially hard, crying tears over you that I know should already have been shed months ago.

 

I want to write that long letter to you explaining exactly how hurtful you've been to me. I simply cannot understand your lack of remorse and your inability to see how offensive an email-dump is. Your lack of apology and decency in treating your best friend, the woman you loved with such disrespect baffles me.

 

As I sit with virtual pen and paper in hand, I've so many thoughts swirling about that I haven't quite managed to articulate. I would have thought that at the 3 month mark, I'd be more emotionally stable. But I'm not and I partly blame you. You robbed me and I've become vulnerable to emotion.

[CherishG]

Hi

Its been 2 whole days since we last spoke, a night that burns deep inside my heart. I can't help but hear your voice over and over like a broken record, the hurtful words you said to me over the phone. I'm still in shock at how you've handled this whole thing. How you can throw everything we ever had away over a girl u just met. I'm trying really hard to let go, but it seems virtually impossible when I look into our daughter's eyes each day. I wish things didn't turn out the way it did, and I still don't understand why this happened. I'm supposed to hate you, I'm supposed to stop this love I have for you inside. But I simply can't and just the fact that I can't, it's literally eating me inside. I miss you sooooooooo much. If only you can look inside my heart and see how much I'm dying inside.

[HopeDiesLast]

I miss you again. This has got to stop. I cant keep feeling strong then dipping again to missing you. Sometimes its a few days up, then 1 or 2 down....sometimes it hours.

I really never understood why you wanted to stop trying. You say it was cus you didnt think you should have to try this hard but it seems to me you weren't the one trying. It seems to me I was- and you gave up on us.

 

I want you to know i love you so much. I miss you everyday. I miss everything before you gave up. I cant beleive that it happened so fast. just a couple of months of bumps and you end it? just give up?

 

why dont you see how worth it is? why dont you wanna try? i know its easier to walk away than to work on things....but you have to see its gonna be worth it. if you dont love me anymore, then i get it. but you said you'd never stop loving me.

 

You have to work at keeping it exciting. you have to want to try. Please realize this. Please know that we're worth it. Please realize its gonna get old with your boys and the beer. Please come back to me, babe. I love you so much.

[lofi_tokyo]

Its time to move on, you need to stop talking to me. You cried after we broke up. You dont want us to be together, but you cried because you didnt want to lose me. But you have. I am sorry. I know I said I'd be there for you, and I wouldn't let you be alone, and honestly, I tried to be your friend... maybe you have forgotten, but you're the one who was short with me, who declined friendship, who went on to seeing someone else. I didn't want friendship then, it hurt me terribly, but I tried, and you rejected me entirely.

 

It bothers me that you're talking to me now. No apology, no anything. You just keep talking to me. I don't want to tell you to shut up. I don't want to tell you I think you're disrespectful and I don't want your friendship. I don't want to seem bitter. I just want you to take the hints, when I don't answer you right away, or when I am short with you... I want you to leave me alone.

 

What could being my friend do for you? What could it do for me?

For you, I'm guessing it makes you feel less lonely, maybe it lets you know what I'm up to. Maybe you feel guilty for your actions... but if you feel guilty, you can just apologize sincerely and then walk away. I don't want to be the shoulder you cry on anymore, and I don't want to be the person you talk to when you're lonely, and honestly, my life is my own business, you cut me out, remember?

For me, I am getting nothing but annoyed. Maybe you think its okay to talk about the girl you left me for in front of me. Its not. Maybe you think I want to hear about small events in your life. I dont.

 

The part of me that loved you is gone. There is no trust anymore, no respect. The part of me that misses you haunts me now and then, but each day is gets better.

 

I love myself, my friends, my family, my life. They all come before you... so... please understand, though I definitely not am over you, I don't need you anymore, I don't want you anymore. I'm healing, and thats all there is to it.

[EmperorR]

I feel good today, I just tlaked to you, and i can honeslty say Now i don't care, why stress why worry why think about someone who doesn't want me? I pleaded my case you know no one will do what i do, give up all their female friends, give up thier pw to all their emails so you can check haha

 

I feel free, i feel good now, I dont need you anymore , im not saddddddddddddd

[CherishG]

I dont understand why you keep calling me.

I will NOT pick up.

I don't care if it's bcoz u want to see our daughter.

It's not like u cared about her before, y all of the sudden u care now?

AFTER WE BROKE UP?

I know I'm being selfish by not letting you see her right now, but you were being selfish abandoning both of us for a 17yo highschool girl who doesn't even know how to love...

I just wish you would stop and realize the stupid mistake you made...

[rod_in_gtown]

God! I can't believe you actually changed your facebook name to that name those guys were calling you on the cruise, wake up! you're WHITE, you'll never be hispanic or latina! What a loser you are!

[sadlynda]

Mm. Where to start. Why? Why? Did you choose to talk to other women to get their thoughts on our relationship, when they don't know me?

 

Why did you allow others to decide for you?

 

Why couldn't you have come to me if you have concerns about our relationship?

 

Why did you blindside me?

Why couldn't you communicate with me?

Why did you pack all my things up, into storage boxes, instead of trying to express yourself early on?

Why did you allow your employee's to pack my things?

Why did you choose not to pack my things yourself?

Why did you make me feel like we were on the same page?

Why did you mislead me ?

Why do I feel like lying down to die?

Why after 14 years, & no communication, you say I have to go?

Why would you say you want to date women, not just one or two?

Why would you say its better to break up than to have affair?

Why would say we have a nice weekend, than break up the next day?

Why would you throw us away without ever talking about it?

Why were you in such a hurry to get all my things out so fast, like I had a disease & didn't know it?

Why after all this time, you couldn't have find another way?

Why can't I eat or sleep?

Why can't I cope without some sort of Rx, to help?

Why do I wish, that someone would hit my car while Iam in it?

Why is it that nothing matters anymore?

Why do I have to self medicated, so I don't have to feel anything?

Why did you pick the time that you pick, when you know I am fighting to get my job back?

Why can't I sleep at night or want to get up in the morning?

Why when you say you love me?

why? why? why? I have so many questions, I can't think. Why?

[WiseOne1]

Lol this post is going to be a little diffrent than everyone elses post.

Hello ex, well I started NC, and im sooo happy. I no longer have to deal with you being crazy, all the sucide attempts and all the moodswings are in someone elses hands now.

 

What did you expect, I told you I was "Da Champ" I told you I never lose, rather its romantically, educationally, finicially. Im the best.

You should know from my first ex, once I kick someone out of my life its for good.

 

You can go and be with your new drug head bf, and If you want to marry him I'll even buy you a wedding gift, thats how confident I am (Serious) Im Mr.Perfect.

 

You know I think highely of myself and its your lost, I should be in the top 5 best looking guys ever. None the less I would love to be your friend, its just that I cant let you getting away with disrespecting me, it'll hurt my self confidence and ego to let you. In the end i'll stand tall, look you in the eye, and say...DA Champ....Is Here!

 

So go ahead, delete me from you fav 5 plan, hell' block my number I dont care, do what you must.

 

Just know, there will never be another...........Mr. Perfect.

[Intergalactic]

why do i keep wanting to send you emails???????? i miss you so much but goddamn i am going insane.

[nickelinadime]

When you told me that you hooked up with a guy at a party that destroyed me. You don't know that it even hurt me, but it did. I'm even thinking differently now. I mean, I have to worry that you're partying again and going to do something stupid. I was just taking things slowly and it made me want to get another girl. It sucks that you're still trying to make me jealous and get my attention, but I wish you'd just leave me alone.

[Mittens]

When we split up the 1st time (March 07) you begged me to be 'friends' with you...I kept saying 'No'

 

You then came back less than 24 hours later saying you had 'made a mistake'...and then had the nerve to leave me hanging for nearly 3 weeks while you made up your mind...was I on crack, letting you get away with that? No, like an idiot, I still loved you.

 

Nothing was ever the same after you 'came back' ... all respect you had for me went out the window, no doubt cause I proved to you how little respect I had for myself, how desperate I was to still have you in my life.

 

About 3 break ups later, by May of this year we were 'friends with benefits' HA!! What a ****ing joke that was! A 'friend' - in my eyes, at least - is someone who actually gives a **** about the other person, wants to see them, asks how they are, etc... I can't remember the last time you called me, sent a sms off your own back...it must be MONTHS since you got in touch, purely to ask how I was...the only time you got in touch with me was when you wanted sex. And even more humiliating, you were usually 'under the influence'...

 

The final straw for me was my 40th birthday...of course there was no way I was actually going to see you, but you also refused point blank to wish me 'happy birthday'...I spent that evening having a pathetic text message fight with you...thanks for that, no when I look back on the day, that will be my overriding memory...

 

But I didn't give up even then, did I? Another month of you treating me like something you stepped in, one word replies to messages, ignoring PMs....and then the final insult - You removed me from your list of friends on the forum we met on. Everyone on there knows our history, you've been humiliating me in your posts for at least a month...and now you've done that.

 

Now we've been NC for 3 weeks...I doubt you've even noticed. Now you've started socialising with your ex's from years ago again (a small knit band of skanks, who you and all your friends have shagged..how tacky) you obviously don't need me as an 'ego boost' anymore...

 

What a ****ing loser you are - and what a loser I was to think we could ever be 'friends'.

[CherishG]

Hi...

its day 4 and I managed yet another day not to contact you.

i really thought that i was actually getting better because I didn't cry last night or during the day today... but...

for some reason, just 15 minutes ago, Jayvelle turned towards me while she lay sleeping next to me, she opened her eyes to see that I was still awake.

With her big eyes, she just stared at me.

I swear to you, as I looked into her eyes, I felt like I was still looking into YOUR EYES.

It literally tore my heart apart.

I broke down and started crying again.

Suprisingly even harder than the day you ended us.

why? why is it so much harder letting you go, than you letting me go?

These kind people on this forum are so lucky. They're strong, they have solutions for everything,

keeping NC, removing pictures, deleting phone numbers, myspace/facebook accounts, everything they can do to ERASE their exes from their lives BUT...

I can't do that.

I have a baby that's part of you and part of me

I struggle each day to look at her and be reminded of what we had, what we shared, and it's all gone

I'm too young to be a single mom

I feel so alone

I feel so lost.

Y am I crying so hard right now.

GOD TAKE THIS PAIN AWAY...

[underpants]

I tried.

You lied.

 

We are fried.

 

No Sam I am.

 

I will not have lies on toast.

[HopeDiesLast]

God i miss you. This is so f***ing hard for me. I want nothing more than to be a part of your life again. and i know that i cant be right now. I know that the spark had fizzled but i dont think you or i believe this is it for us. Were in such different places right now. And i know we need this time to grow and change....its just so f***ing hard to do this without you.

 

I'm so in love with you. I cant let you go. I have to figure out a way to. I have to stop this. I have to move on with my life. But you're all i think about. Everyday.

 

I love you. so much.

[Sysyphus28]

I feel similar hope. Every morning with NC is excruciating. I have bunch of things to say and I want to be happy with her again. I don't want her friendship though......its hard to not think about our past. It has been 6 days without briefly talking. I know I am not a creep, but I feel like I am obsessing over this whole situation. I can't let go, and I am doing everything to try! Books, this site, NC, support from friends. But our mutual friends remind me of good times we have all had. I am not going to hang with them for a bit too.

I am realy sorry you are hurting so badly. You are not alone! You can't talk to this person though! You don't want to be a needy mess. You aren't a NOBODY!!! If this person doesn't want you, you have to have some self-preservation skills kick in! You are hurt. Rejection hurts, being ignored is terrible, someone not loving you anymore......that is a wretched feeling....BUT these are things that are out of your control. You can't control the way someone else handles a breakup! I have learned that. I wanted to run after her, "please don't leave me!", call and call, text until they wrote back, " i am sorry, i made a mistake, come over right now and kiss me!"....She never said anything like that. She said, "leave me alone" I am/was floored by her cruelty. It is how she is handleing this breakup. This is how she has to act to make me &^%$ off, and leave her alone. She doesn't want me anymore. No means no. ETC.

Try this:

Move into the weekend ready to have some fun. Do something alone. A museum? A concert? A hike? Get used to it. You are all you got! I mean parents, friends, etc...........but F this person. F growing and changing......I know, I know. "But the way thier lips felt", I know "the time you.....blah, blah..." or said "I will love you forever"..........

I had those times too........Let hope die. Today. Try and have an awesome weekend. Actually attempt to get yourself out of this zone your in. The needy zone! Call up some wierd people you never hang out with?! Try a new drink at a unfamiliar bar. Turn off your phone for a day or even two. Remember who you are and what your good at. Remember who you are and what your capable of. Feel good about it.

[RogueAC]

The new furniture was delivered on Wednesday. The sofa and chair look even more amazing than I thought or hoped. I had people over the last two nights to check it out… so far everyone has loved my place. I finally have a home.

 

I really appreciated all of those hours you spent helping me pick out just the right pieces.

 

I never got to say thank you.

[HopeDiesLast]

thanks sys hang in there too.

[EmperorR]

WEll its been 4 das, i guess you thought I would crack by now? but im strong, im not even risking signing on msn even on invisible because I know you will be online and i'll prob b weak and sign in. You know my number and not even a txt asking how i am, you are mean and callous. If you msged me i'd probably crack but its good and shows that you dont care about me and i guess thats somewhat reassuring, im back to eating i dont feel depressed anymore or lonely. And you know ya i did mean it when i said if you get with that guy its going to fail, because your cranky spoiled, sensitive and the most shelfish person on us. All you care about is yourself, so stop putting on a act like you care about others when you don't. I guess it sucks eh? for 3 yeas we talked every day for hours i would never complain when you would ramble about the most boring things or cry for hours id just sit and listen and reassure and now all you have is some stupid guy that you have butterflies for haha. I told you, your the type of person who just cares about that new feeling, i was old and stale and you want newness but it won't last and it wont work, its a miracle i stayed with you so long thats how much i love you, IM CONFIDENT AND I KNOW IT, you will never find anyone half as good as me, i never yelled or cursed at you once even when you were the biggest b*Tch on the planet, i hope that day when you call and I know you will, that ill have someone new and can say NO. But who knows the future maybe you will change, because i changed .