Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[BackonTrack]

trying to think of something to write

i got nothing.

its blank.

 

i guess this is what it feels like to not love someone anymore.

its not even weird anymore, sort of like u never existed.

[Sysyphus28]

1 week and 4 days. NC. Trying to practice what i am preaching. One false step and I'm back at square one!! This is really,really hard. I miss her so much sometimes, and I feel like this is some kind of withdrawal I am going through. My heart is broken and she doesn't care. She doesn't have to care.

I have to be militant in my course of action. I have to keep my dignity and not contact her. I havn't gone more than two weeks yet(I broke on the two week mark). I have crept back up to 10 days right now. It gets harder each day to not be a glutton for punishment. "What if................" "What if.............." If she missed me or wanted to talk to me she would have called or tried to get in contact with me. I need help through the day.

[CherishG]

I wonder if you miss me...

I wonder if you regret what you threw away...

I wonder if there's ever a moment in the day you whisper my name...

I wonder if you think of me when you kiss her...

I wonder if you are making future plans with her...

I wonder if you yearn to still be with me...

I miss you soooo much...pls come back to me

[survivingcollege]

Day 2.

 

Call me. Call me. Call me. Call me. Call me.

Please, please call me.

If I ever meant anything to you.. call me.

[lofi_tokyo]

Hihihihi!

 

I'm happy again. I mean, I have sad moments about you, but overall, life has been really nice lately, I'm liking it.

 

Its weird because at times I want that comfort of having you there... but then I realize, if I had you back, I'd have to go back to "being in a relationship", which would mean being committed to a relationship. I'm not sleezing around or anything, don't get me wrong, but the free time is sooo nice... and well, if I had you back right now, I really would have to give up all I've gained in the last two weeks.

 

Its kinda a trade off, and right now I'm enjoying how fresh and new everything feels. Like a new outlook on life just smacked me in the face. I dunno.

 

Anyways. I REALLY wanna just chit chat with you sometimes when I'm online. Like just chit chat about whatever. Casual AIM goodness. Maybe call to chat now and then when I'm bored. BUT! I really wanna give it like, until after the new year to do that. Which kinda sucks.

 

I mean, I guess I COULD start being friendly with you right now BUT! You're with someone new, don't want you to think I'm being intrusive. Gotta give you some space I think, give us some time to BREATHE! Also, I don't think I could really handle talking to you about her just yet. No thanks. Yeah definately not. I mean maybe in January I'll be fine hearing about you and her, but right now? Definitely not feeling it.

 

 

Also, I think you'd wanna talk, because you keep attempting to contact me to make small talk, and I have CRAZY news I know you'd love but um... another part of me is scared because I'm worried you'd think I was trying to win you over, and you'd be apprehensive around me. So... the plan is, wait it out until things cool off, live my life, do well in school. When I'm ready and I think you're like, solidly in your life me and in mine, we can chat again! Exciting? I think so!

 

 

Until thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

You're gonna have to miss out on the exciting news you'd love to know andddd I'm just gonna have to love the good times

[SnowWhite924]

All I want right now is to stop thinking about you. Thank goodness I don't think about you 24/7 like I used to. And it's unbelievable that I finally got to this point that I really don't care about you or us anymore!! It was sooo HARD for me to let you go but I did it! And now, I am happier than I've ever been.

 

I don't miss you. I don't want you. I'm happy!!!

 

I've been feeling a lot of anger lately but today not so much. I hope this anger phase ends soon because I don't like it and I don't want to put anymore attention on you.

 

I know you're thinking about me. Wondering what I'm up to, why I'm so distant and all after EVERYTHING. Keep thinking my friend. Go ahead and drive yourself nuts. I will be here getting over you!

 

That's all for now.

[Sysyphus28]

All I want right now is to stop thinking about you. Thank goodness I don't think about you 24/7 like I used to. And it's unbelievable that I finally got to this point that I really don't care about you or us anymore!! It was sooo HARD for me to let you go but I did it! And now, I am happier than I've ever been.

 

I don't miss you. I don't want you. I'm happy!!!

 

I've been feeling a lot of anger lately but today not so much. I hope this anger phase ends soon because I don't like it and I don't want to put anymore attention on you.

 

I know you're thinking about me. Wondering what I'm up to, why I'm so distant and all after EVERYTHING. Keep thinking my friend. Go ahead and drive yourself nuts. I will be here getting over you!

 

That's all for now.

 

They are thinking of you.................It is human nature...whether they are bashing your faults(which that have blew up in thier head), or they are thinking what you are up to. It doesn't matter anymore. It just doesn't.

[survivingcollege]

UGH day 3. This is going by painfully slow.

Mutual friend of ours told me you were planning on calling me soon but you wanted to "give me time". This made me SO angry out of nowhere.. because I know it's the smart thing to do, to allow me to calm down so I don't flip my **** when you call, but the fact that you are able to sit there and manipulate my emotions like that pisses me right off. I'm sitting here dying for you to call, and you're just like, "oh, I'll call her in a few days once she stops having a breakdown and then it'll be fine".

 

I see you online ALL THE TIME. I have you blocked on MSN.. but I can see you're online for over 3 hours a day now ever since we broke up. You used to never go on it at all, maybe once every two weeks for a few minutes. I see you online on facebook all the time too, something you also used to avoid constantly. I know you are waiting to talk to me but I'm just not going to make it that easy for you. My friends are telling me to unblock you and hear you out, well guess what. You know my phone number & you can leave me a long pathetic voicemail if you miss me so much. Because I'm not picking up that goddamn phone. ENJOY the stewing you're about to do my little friend. Enjoy it.

I'm sitting here staring at your msn name and just enjoying this. I know it's a phase and in about an hour I'll want to cry and miss you again, but right now I'm in control. I'M in control.. and you can't talk to me.

[SRV]

Cherish G, I am in a similar situation, she will not pick up the phone to let me know how my daughter is doing. I know I screwed up and just wanted also to tell her that I am sorry, trust me, he thinks of you and your daughter. That is a bond that will never go away.

 

 

I dont understand why you keep calling me.

I will NOT pick up.

I don't care if it's bcoz u want to see our daughter.

It's not like u cared about her before, y all of the sudden u care now?

AFTER WE BROKE UP?

I know I'm being selfish by not letting you see her right now, but you were being selfish abandoning both of us for a 17yo highschool girl who doesn't even know how to love...

I just wish you would stop and realize the stupid mistake you made...

[alwayssme]

i have already told you all this before so there won't be another time when you'll ever hear these words again. I love you with all my heart and it hurts that you have moved on with your life, but that only pushes me more to move on with mine. I guess it's a good thing that we left things off on good terms and that you still care about me as a person, but unfortunately that's not enough. I have these crazy mixed emotions towards you--I love you and miss you to death, I would give up EVERYTHING if it meant I could be with you again, but then I know that's impossible. Then I have time when I hate you, I hate you so much for all the pain you're causing me, for promising so much and doing so little.You looked into my eyes telling me you were in love with me and we made future plans together, I thought we were in this together, I thought you were being sincere, but apperantly you changed. I don't know why this happened but all of a sudden you were a different person. You didn't remember me anymore, you forgot about all the promises you made me, you let go of everything we had and everything we promised each other. I kept my promise to always love you, you didn't. Now you don't feel nothing, but it feels like it was only yesterday when you cried over me, when you held me in your arms, when you made love to me. Nobody understands the betrayal i feel from you because nobody was there when it was just me and you in our own world. I could see the fire in your eyes, I felt the warmth of your touch, the desire of your love. Yet, I can't blame you because you didn't mean to lose feelings, but at the same time I can't help but feel betrayed. I thought we were in this battle together, but I was alone. I thought you were my partner in crime but then I realized I had been stabbed and wounded deeply...It was a devastating surprise to see that it was you who had stabbed me..I don't know what hurt more, the fact that I was shocked that you did this to me, or the stabbing itself...all this time I was battling in a war I was destined to lose, cuz the person I thought was my heart's companion, turned out to be my heart's worst enemy...and yet I still love you and wish you nothing but the best..You didn't mean to hurt me but you hurt me more than anybody ever has.

[wareagle]

I heard today that you and your SO broke up. I am not suprised! I don't feel bad for you! I do feel bad for your daughter, and the unborn baby in your belly! Please don't come sniffing around me! Please stay away from me! I have healed a great deal in the last 7 months, and I do not need you coming back around and ****ing that up!!

 

I do still love you with everything in me, but I can't handle communicating with you right now!! We will never be together again! I know it's the best thing for me! I forgive you for the way you handle the relationship and the dirty pops that came after you dumped me, but I will NEVER be able to forget!! I deserve better than you!!!

[sao2]

Hi,

I'm done now. Goodbye.

Me

[CherishG]

Cherish G, I am in a similar situation, she will not pick up the phone to let me know how my daughter is doing. I know I screwed up and just wanted also to tell her that I am sorry, trust me, he thinks of you and your daughter. That is a bond that will never go away.

 

Please don't think I'm avoiding him to punish him by not letting him see his daughter, because I haven't.

I've literally FORCED myself to bring her to him, despite how fresh the wound is in my heart.

It's only been a month since he ended everything, and he knows I'm really hurting.

I was just simply ranting that I wish I could do that because the pain is just so unbearable when I'm facing him when I bring our daughter around to see him. BUT that would be sooo selfish of me, and that's not me.

I could NEVER take away his rights to seeing his daughter.

I WANT HIM to know his daughter, to be with her in every moment as she's getting bigger each day.

But I know it's impossible now because he's been distancing himself from not only me,

but seems his daughter too, maybe because his new gf (a immature 17yo wouldn't understand that).

The last time I brought her to see him, I walked away, but was watching

from afar, just to make sure she didn't start to cry or look for me.

He is very inexperienced in handling infants, and he has always asked for me to be closeby when he's spending time with her.

I stay civil when it comes to our daughter, I stay stone faced and always seem to be far away,

but last time, I know he noticed how much I've lost soooooo much weight, and the sadness in my eyes. My overall appearance is just a mess, and I've tried to make myself pretend on the outside that I'm moving on and I don't need him, but it's so hard.

I'm sorry what ur going thru to see ur daughter.

I could never deny my daughter her father. I wish u luck.

[crushed66]

isnt posting here totally counter intuitive?

 

the whole piont of NC is to reset your mind and focus on you.

 

posting here, will just let you fantisize about someone that might possible dont give a F about you.

[Strung_Out00]

Hey! How have you been?

 

Oh that's good! How's the new boyfriend? Did you wait longer than ten minutes to spread your legs to him?

 

Wow, you made it two whole days? I'm very impressed.

 

So anyways, how much interest has your lawsuit against your ex-boyfriend make you so far? You really think you're set for life after a little over a hundred thousand dollar judgement?

 

By the way, thanks for breaking up with me via text message. That was very classy of you.

 

Just so you know, for some reason, I'm stupid enough to still love you, even after all the negative crap I have heard about you. I hope your looks hold up, because being gorgeous is all you have going for you.

 

Anyways, I hope you have fun with your new boy toy that replaced me. I think I might look up your ex-boyfriend, "J" We could have alot of laughs at your expense. Hopefully your new guy wrecks his motorcycle with you on it and you could maybe come close to losing your other foot and get some more lawsuit cash. Later.

[lofi_tokyo]

Heyooooo!

 

I think you're out with HER right now! But its her birthday, so not surprising.

 

I'm curious how fast your relationship with her is moving. We moved pretty slow, didn't we? Is it the same with her? I wanna know, but I don't. lol

 

Anyways, not much else to say! Don't actually wanna chat, but thats whats on my mind right now. How fast things move between two people. Not even you and her, but like, me and the guys I'm meeting. Or my friend and her current romantic interest, or my other friend and his dates... how does it all play out? Kinda interesting... but only a little

[CherishG]

ok... I'm really worried now.

I haven't heard from you in 7 whole days...

I'm starting to worry that u r not only abandoning me compeletely,

but ur also letting go of ur daughter as well.

It's been a month since u broke up with me, BUT you still called to ask about her...

But I see ur still posting on that forum everyday like nothing's affecting u...

and no sign of u, not one call, not one email...

is this what has come to this? u wanna pretend that u NEVER had a daughter with me?

is that how you move on? u 4get not only our relationship, but you forget you have a baby daughter...

tell me it isn't true... because I don't know what to tell her...

she keeps asking 4 u, I just broke down today and cried coz I couldn't answer.

is that teenie bopper gf of urs give u amnesia?

does she mean that much 2 u to hurt me and Jayvelle this way?

[alwayssme]

depressed today...feeling very down, don't know when will this hell be over, quiete frankly don't know how i ended up here. it went from being heaven to being hell. life is so unpredicatable. i have nothing left to say. i'll keep praying for the day this will all end.

[EmperorR]

you msged me after 12 days on yahoo, I wanted to say HI, imd doing fine how are you, but I could not. I refuse to be your friend, I will not settle for it, sorry. You don't deserve to know how i'm doing if you care you know my number. It's funny you have no one to talk to thats probably the reason why you msged me, sorry i won't be your doormat you coward

[Sysyphus28]

you msged me after 12 days on yahoo, I wanted to say HI, imd doing fine how are you, but I could not. I refuse to be your friend, I will not settle for it, sorry. You don't deserve to know how i'm doing if you care you know my number. It's funny you have no one to talk to thats probably the reason why you msged me, sorry i won't be your doormat you coward

 

2 weeks and a day. Feelin as shaky as ever.

My ex is a coward too. She just bailed on me this summer on the phone.....F-ed her b/f all summer. Then somehow justified her dumping me......by finding everything she found that was wrong with me and exagerated it to me to make me feel like she was right.

For some stupid reason. Even though I am dating and doing fairly successfull at it!!............I still want to call her and talk to her......write a letter, I even thought of making her a cd(geez). The rejection tears me up inside. I think about her being happy and having fun.

The seasons are changing and I'm thinking about the last holidays we've spent together.

I need help too push on!

Is anyone else being strong out thier?!

[SnowWhite924]

Hi. Well, I'm not angry anymore! I'm not angry at you or the situation. The anger went away which is thrilling!!!

 

I don't hate you. I'm not mad at you. I'm at peace and happy with my life.

 

I don't wish you any harm. I want you to be happy. I'm happy. I want to continue to be happy.

 

I feel okay with us talking as long as it stays where it's been.

 

I wanted to see you Sat. only to see if I had any romantic feelings for you. I have to say, when you didn't show up, I was fine with it. I wasn't sad or mad or upset. I was indifferent. That's why I know I'm moving along in the right direction.

 

I'm still looking for a song to send you but I haven't found one quite right.

I don't want a song that says I still love you bc I don't feel it. I don't want a song that says, I miss you, bc I don't feel it.

 

I'm looking for a song... that says, we shared something special between us, it's time to move on, It's been really hard for me but I think I made it, I'm happy, and You will have a place in my heart. That's it.

 

So, now we can just be what we are and that's it. Nothing more. And I'm soooo glad I finally broke free!

[alwayssme]

HI.

 

I don't know what to say right now. I miss who you used to be with me. I want to stop hurting over you.

[CherishG]

God, why the f**k did you call me twice last night so late?

I was already in my 7th day NC holding on strong that I haven't

made any kind of contact with you... and then u called me last night.

This time u didn't leave vm's both times u called,

so now you got me all curious and wondering why u called.

I've told u so many times that if u need to talk about the baby, EMAIL ME... why do u want to talk on the phone?

it was probably bout the baby,

it was probably to see if I'm still going crazy over u to get ur ego boost

who knows...

all I know is it hurts so damn bad, as much as the day you broke my heart.

and youre making it soooo much harder for me to climb that hill.

please don't hate me for being selfish not wanting to talk 2 u if ur wanting to talk about the baby,

but I need this... because my hearts in pieces, and I''m barely breathing, barely holding on to a life I don't want anymore.

I've lost sooo much weight, everyone's so worried about me.

No one fully knows how much this really hurts.

I am trying so hard to be strong for our baby...

I'm really really trying to stop loving you,

but it's so hard u know. We had plans.

You made me so many promises, you promised "FOREVER"...

We created this beautiful angel that longs to have a mommy AND daddy.

When we lay at night on our bed, the bed seems so much bigger now that ur not here,

You know she hugs ur empty pillow next to her thinking u will come home.

when I see her lying next to me and she's reaching out to ur empty space,

it really breaks my soul... my spirit.

and I just don't know how u could be so selfish...

[ahhhchooo]

Our entire relationship was so friggin' ironic. I'd be interested to know if you were really telling the truth about missing me every day since we've been apart. But I can't trust a word you say and fortunately, I never will again.

 

You probably haven't figured it out, but I've blocked you from contacting me at every source. I just heard you randomly added Alex to MSN... you knew that info would come around to me - I don't know what you're playing at. Are you THAT friggin' desperate for someone to talk to? Ha! You know what? Knock yourself out. Use him like you used me. That guy is emotionally unstable at the best of times. You deserve each other.

 

Ciao.

[watermeloncandy]

this is such an awful emotional rollercoaster. just when i think i'm doing ok, i start thinking about seeing your profile on lavalife and your heading "plenty of fish in the sea, hope i'm using the right bait" - god, gimme a break. you think there are plenty of fish in the sea for YOU?!? pfft. maybe until they get to KNOW you.

good luck there buddy.

you make me sick. you are so disgusting.

i really hate you.

you are a pathetic excuse for a human being.

i keep wondering what your father would be thinking of you? do you think he'd be proud of his boy right now???

if he is, then that doesn't say much about your father's character, does it?

i hope i never ever every see your ugly face again. in my eyes, you are now an ugly person. inside and out.