Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[skinman]

Hey D.

I passed you on the road tonight heading home... It was almost like it was a few months back when we would pass each other and you would wave... Tonight I dont think you even saw me.. if you did you didnt act like it.. How did we get to this place baby if you had only shared with me your unhappiness and pain you were going thorugh I could have helped or at least tried.... but no. you had to keep it all inside as you planned your escape.. never letting on that something was wrong ... me thinking everything was fine only to be blindsided by the cold hearted bi***h that you have become...throwing away 16 years together for what?? I still dont know the answer..

 

Its ok though babe... I know one day you will look back on what happened and wonder yourself how it all got so out of control....Thats ok when you do wonder I wont be there to tell you why... You see I have cried my last tear for you and now am moving forward with my life making plans that we had together but doing them alone... it will all be ok.. As much as I want to hate you dont D... in fact I still love you very much and probably will as long a I live.......... Would I ever take you back... i dont know the answer to that... I would like to thik that I am a much better person than you and tha in time I will be able to forgive you for what you have done.

 

I have tried to put myself in your shoes looking at the situation from your perspective... after seeing what you have seen I still would not have bailed I would have made an effort to at least try and save what we had... but no you couldn't do that.. all you could think about was yourself......... well when you are old and lonely thin back on what we had......... Then you tell me if you made the right decision....

[TeaAbraham]

Hey,

 

So I haven't even SEEN your face for 13 days now. That's a feat granted I have to walk by where you have classes all of the time.

 

I just remembered something. You told me that one of the reasons you liked your new place is that it was close to me. Haha. Lying wh*re.

 

Anyway. I can't get you two out of my head. Everything I do I can somehow link to you two. It is irksome. Beyond irksome. Sometimes it is debilitating. And all of the time it is unwelcome and brings me to a place I don't want to go. And it isn't my fault. I can't control those deep connections I have with certain objects/places/ideas with you. It is your fault because you decided to screw me over and not give a damn. Oh, don't give me the bullsh*t that you actually DO give a damn. That is so pathetic. Just don't bother.

 

Anyway, just wanted to thank you for f*cking up my life for these past two months. At what point is it not you messing up my life anymore and just me not getting over it? I don't know. I think sometime soon probably. Regardless, I am recovering. Good luck with f*cker. I hope you two have a wonderful life together. And at the peak of your love something terrible terrible happens to the both of you. Maybe involving lying and deceiving. But of course that is going to happen. Such actions are at the heart of the both of you. At any rate. Just wanted to say I don't miss you and I am just getting over the fact that that person I loved was really just a lying b*tch Oh well. You really had me fooled. C'est la vie. You screw over so many people. I just never thought you'd do it to me. I guess I shouldn't have been so suprised.

 

Ah. I wish I didn't suggest we come to this retarded university because I thought it would be the best thing for you. Now I am stuck here. Thanks for that. You stuck me with a lot of sh*t and didn't think nothing of it. How can you live with yourself?! How?

 

It was good talking to ya. We should do it again some-time.

[dprelz]

I miss you

Today.

 

I know You are at work

Right now. You were

Always such a hard

Worker.

 

I hope he appreciates that.

I know I didn't.

 

Cya in my nightmares

[Cub]

I've begun to reclaim my hobbies from before we were together. Feels good to spend hours in front of the keyboard again, and enjoy time at the bookstore.

[dprelz]

intoxication is my only escape

how can i live in a world

where you don't exist

 

each drink each puff fades

me enough to not lose

control and stay right at

the edge

 

the only thing im afraid

of is myself

i know there is a part of

me that will never stop

fighting grabbing clawing

to feel your breath again

 

silence as i am fading away

without you next to me

[alwayssme]

i miss you

[alwayssme]

Okay here is the thing..

 

Damn it's hard even writing to you in here because just at the thought of talking to you, I freeze since I have to think of my words carefully...It seems that when I open my heart to you, you only hurt me and act cold towards me..and for that reason I haven't contacted you. You told me "you're fine without me..you're okay when we don't talk" That hurt me bcause it makes me feel like you don't even care about me anymore at all. And I still love you. I can respect the fact that you no longer feel that way about me, but it hurts me that you can go on with your life as if I never existed. On one side because of how cold you acted last time we spoke, I don't call you because I don't want to boost your ego even more and I don't really enjoy feeling rejected and unwanted while I make you feel like the best thing walking this earth.

 

On the other side, I'd like to believe you when you said you still care about me but if you did, wouldn't you at least call to see how I'm doing? I can't seem to separate who you were with who you are. I wish in the back of my mind that you miss me and that someday we can both be friends. Just so you know your absence in my life hurts alot. I am thinking whether I should call you and try for us to be friends or completely let you go? It is SO SO SO HARD to think that you will become a stranger to me, but then I don't know if keeping you around would hurt me more? They say NC is the best healing method, but for me it feels like it will only make me miss you more!! I am so confused because truthfull I just want to help myself feel better and I dont know which path is less pain and the quickest route to recovery!

[alwayssme]

i am angry and hurt right now....i cant believe your flirting wit your ex on facebook and making plans wit her....after all the **** that happened between me and her...oh well nothing i can do about it......but i must admit that hurt...its almost as if we never went out if u go back to her.....and that hurts because u got over her while wit me...i guess now ya both broke up wit ur bf/gf and ya are hanging out because ya were friends for so long..........ughhhh i just dont want u to get back with her, ya can be friends...and im sure ur feelings came back for her but its cool...from now on imma try my hardest NOT to look.....and nope u wont be getting any of my attention, that u'll know at least......not that u'll even care or notice, which hurts alot after ALL WE BEEN THROUGH u decide to act like i never even existed.....i think thats what hurt me the most, the dissapointment and the way u acted was a huge blow to my ego.......and of course the fact that i fell in love with you doesnt help.....esp. NOW THAT YOUR TALKING TO HER......its kind of humiliating if u get back with her BECAUSE WE KNOW ALOT OF THE SAME PEOPLE and i am going to look so stupid and actually BE REAL STUPID for all them arguments with her when we were together....wow life is so funny, but once again i cant control it and if it happens i know im gonna be crushed and that will be rock bottom.......i just hope it doesnt happen........anyway whatever bye i am so happy i didnt call u today and tell u i miss u like a freakind retard that i am......gotta keep remebering who you are and how u feel now, NOT WHO U WERE AND HOW U FELT BACK THEN...although sometimes i forget and get the two confused...or sometimes i belive u still car ebut your just putting your guard up because u dont wanna be with me....either way i deserve somebody that is HOW YOU WERE and not how you are....it will be a slow painful process but i will pray to get over you completely and build a new life without you!

[alwayssme]

damn it now i cant stop thinking about you and her..................AHHHHHHHHHH YOU MUST BE SO HAPPY SHE IS SINGLE AND HOPING YOU TWO CAN GET TOGETHER....MAYBE THATS Y YOU BROKE UP WITH ME? YOU WERE HOPING TO GET BACK WITH HER??? I HATE U RIGHT NOWWWWWW WHY DID U HAVE TO PUT ME THROUGH ALL THIS? WHY DID U HAVE TO HURT ME LIKE THIS!!!!! I WOULD HAVE NEVER DID ANY OF THIS TO YOU...I KNOW I HURT U IN THE PAST AND IM SORRY BUT IF U WOULD HAVE GAVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE I COULD HAVE MADE U HAPPY!!!!!!!! IT GETS ME MAD THAT U DIDNT BUT WHAT CAN I DO?? DAMN I REALLY NEED TO LET GO OF THIS WHOLE SITUATION

[dprelz]

You guys are probablly ****ing

Right now.

 

Lol

 

Drunk and high as ****

And I'm still thinkng

About you

 

Your such a skank

How are you with that

****in guy he's like 40

 

How do I get you back

There has to be away

 

Life is so pointless and unfair

[TeaAbraham]

I hate you so much.

 

I just remembered that time when I was at the airport in portland, about to return from visiting my best bud. a.k.a. Your new f*cking lover boy. I called you. I was so happy to be coming home to you. I didn't like being in portland with him. I wanted to come home to you. I missed you so much. You were getting upset at me for no reason about something. Oh. You didn't want me to talk about the blackberries that were everywhere and that you could just pick off the side of the road. And now you are with him. You have no idea how much you have mind f*cked me. How difficult it is for me to get my head around this whole situation. You're such a b*tch for doing this to me. Ah, well. You were never really that smart anyway. Why should I expect you to be now?

[inulg]

you know whats going to be funny? youre going to fall in love with her the same way you did with me, hell, you might even marry her. but you'll throw her away in the end. because things will get too complicated for you and you wont be able to deal... "relationships shouldent be hard work" is what you said. you're such a funny boy....

 

i'm just glad we never got married because who knows, i would have even had kids for you and you'd have left me high and dry.

[TeaAbraham]

"relationships shouldn't be hard work"

 

Wow. That's truly hilarious.

[TeaAbraham]

Everything is so lonely. But not for you. You've only been without either me or him for a week in the last 4 years. ONE WEEK. You've had ONE MOTHER F*CKING WEEK of lonliness within the last FOUR YEARS. And you say you're so independent now. You say you've found yourself. BULL F*CKING SH*T. F*CK YOU! Nobody cheated on you, nobody lied to you, nobody ran away with your best friend. Nobody DESTROYED YOUR WHOLE LIFE AND LEFT YOU WITH NOTHING. Why am I so angry right now? I should just do something else and forget about the lying, stealing, cheating b*tch you are. I want to send you something just giving it to you. But that won't help. I wish you two would just disappear. Vanish.

 

Please just disappear. It'll be like you never existed. Just go away. I really want to run away.

[gd26]

Hey there. I was flipping through old emails and I saw your pictures. I hadn't gone through them in awhile. You are the most handsome man I have ever come across in my life... Brad Pitt doesn't compare to you at all (I do not exaggerate here). I remember when I would tell you that you could model for Abercrombie and Fitch. I think my flattery got to your head though, and you started thinking that if you were so attractive, then why are you with me? At least your attitude suggested that. In the beginning, you were the one pursuing me and you were so respectful towards me. But after I started expressing how excited I was to be with you, it was like you felt you had the upper hand and stopped putting in the effort.

 

Your clear skin, shining eyes, dimpled smile and masculine toned body... I could swoon. I've never ever found men so attractive. Looking at your pics makes me feel like a giddy schoolgirl. But you know what? The thing about you that attracted me most to you wasn't your looks (if you can believe that). What I loved most about you was that I felt you were so sincere. I felt that I could trust you with my heart, and pour out all my feelings to you - telling you my deepest thoughts and painful past experiences. I trusted you. I valued the deep, intelligent, and philosophical conversations we had. I valued your opinions sincerely. It's hard for me to believe that all that sincerity that I perceived in you was just lies. You were just being polite to me telling me how great I was... when in reality you thought I was nutty, and you were just trying to find your escape.

 

I wish you could have just told me what you were feeling, so that we could have worked together to improve things. But you just pretended that everything was okay, so how was I supposed to know that you thought I was being clingy etc? I told you all my thoughts, and communicated with you in a very genuine heartfelt way. But you didn't return the honesty and just kept pretending with me. Why?? I adored you.

 

I know you were in a lot of pain after the breakup of your marriage. I wish you could have talked to me more about this, rather than pretending that you were over it. How was I supposed to know that you were hurting if you never told me? I sensed your pain to some degree, but I didn't realize the severity. What is a relationship without trust and honesty?

 

I am hurt that you felt like we were incompatible (though you later changed your mind and said you spoke prematurely, and that maybe if we got married, it could work). The idea of possibly marrying you in the future was really exhilarating for me. I know we come from different cultures, but I personally believe that a lot of things can be resolved if people care about one another enough to make them work. If you cared for me enough, I think we could have made some compromises to work things out between us. It hurts me that you weren't even willing to think about trying.

 

During our last conversation, when I told you about how my heart had been broken by men in my past, and told you that I needed a lot of love from you to help me heal - you told me that you couldn't provide me that kind of love. I am sad about that. I know that you have gone through tremendous heartbreak and betrayal from your past relationships. I am sorry that you have been so badly hurt. But I never did anything to intentionally hurt you. I always tried to be honest and loving to you. I never had affairs on you like your exes. I know past women hurt you, but I never did! So your unwillingness to open your heart up to me really hurts, because I am not them...

 

I remember the first week we met - you asked me if I wanted to be exclusive with you. I was very surprised that you asked me that after only knowing one another for a week. Yet, even though I thought the request was odd, I was still touched by it - and I never made you feel bad or embarrassed for asking me that. (Yet later when I showed you my interest in you, you started getting distant and labeling me as 'clingy' - why the double standard?) Why am I expected to be receptive and loving to you when you are pursuing me - yet I am not allowed to be interested and pursue you without you being turned off? It's so unfair. I wish you had the same compassion for me as I had for you.

 

I remember after the first week we met, you told your family about me. I thought that was super fast, as I didn't mention you to my family until several weeks later. I know you told them about me, as you were very excited about me - and I was truly flattered. I was so looking forward to getting to meet your brother and sister. Yet after I started developing feelings for you, you pulled away from me. I never got to meet your family. I remember you told me that your sister was excited to get to know me too. It really hurts looking back, as I wonder what justification you ended up giving them about me as to why I was no longer in your life. I never abandoned you, I was excited to meet them - but you pulled away. I later told my family about you too. I never told my parents that we stopped talking. But I did tell my sister how sad I was that you left, as I really liked you.

 

I remember our last phone conversation. We hadn't talked in several weeks as you were out on your military field training. When I said hello to you after you picked up the phone, you said "Who is this?" I was stunned that you didn't even recognize my voice after the dozens of hours we spent together talking on the phone. Sure it was nearly 2 months since we talked... but still. You said you just didn't recognize the number as you had a different phone handset. But still... come on.... I think about you all the time, and you actually forget my voice? Is this a joke?

 

Anyways, I don't know if you will ever come back or not, as it's been over 3 months since I've heard from you. I know you must be still hurting over your failed marriage and your divorce process... so I wonder if you ever still think of me at all. I wonder if you have a new girlfriend now. Was I absolutely nothing to you? You seemed to be so into me at the beginning, and after that one night we talked for 7 hours on the phone, you said it was the longest most interesting conversation you ever had with anyone in your life. Was I so disposable to you, that you could just walk away without giving me a chance? I never failed you or did anything wrong.

 

It has been 3.5 months NC from me, and if I never hear from you it will be NC forever. I still care for you so deeply, but I am not going to lower myself by calling you. I was nothing but wonderful to you, and I should be with someone who adores me as much. I know you suffered so much, but that doesn't give you the right to be so uncaring to me. I am afraid that you might find this forum someday, so I am trying not to be so explicit about my feelings... but when I was looking at your pictures today, I looked at you and mouthed the words "I love you". I never told you those words directly (as I knew it would freak you out since we only knew one another a short time), but I fell in love with you. I have looked at your pics and said "I love you" to them for quite some time now, this was not the first time. I realize I may have come off as a bit clingy when I was with you, but I was simply totally excited about you... and had a strong feeling like you might be "the one" for me.

 

Sometimes I fantasize about you coming back to me and telling me that you are sooo sorry and wish for another chance. I dream about holding you in my arms, and making love to you (even though I know you aren't interested in that, as you have sexually shut down). It hurts me that you got turned off to sex after all your past sexual partners, and don't want to have sex again. I on the other hand am still a virgin, and was excited about the possibility of having a monogomous marital relationship with you someday. I wish you had waited for me too.

 

I still adore you, love you... and dream of you coming back. But realistically, I know things are dead. The trust is broken, and I don't think it's repairable. (Actually there is still the tiniest chance that it could be repairable,... but that would need massive amounts of effort from your side, and I don't think you'd be willing to put so much effort to win me back. So in essence, because of that, things are unrepairable... even though I still wish you cared enough to try to get me back.) After 3 months of not hearing from you, I wonder if someday you will contact me... but each day I don't hear from you, that little hope gets crushed. Maybe you will contact me after the divorce is finalized next year in attempt to be friends with me. Even though I would have otherwise been honored to be friends with you (as we have so much in common)... it's hard to be friends with someone after your heart gets broken by that person. I love you, but I don't know if I can be friends with you anymore - I want to so much, but the trust is broken. It just feels patronizing to me.

 

I wish I could tell you that I love you, though I don't think I will ever get to say those words to you. Despite the short duration of our time together, I love you and miss you. I have tried so hard to move on with my life and meet other people, but nobody ever compares to you. No one is as sexy, intelligent, successful or witty as you are. I don't see why I have to search the world looking for another man, when I already had the man of my dreams with me. I was doing so well trying to move on, but this week I just fell into a depression. I have been eating like crap the last few days. I remember when we were together you would try to motivate me to get in shape and get healthy (as you are the healthiest person I know). I was so motivated by you and you changed my life - losing those 20 pounds did wonders for me. However, since you left, I don't have the support anymore to pursue my goals, and I am struggling to find that strength within myself. I haven't done well in school after you left, as I lost the motivation. I'll never tell you this though, as I wouldn't want you to know that I was so affected by your loss.

 

I wish you loved me as much as I loved you. I'll never tell you how much I care, as that will only push you away. You wanted space, so I'll never contact you either. But you are in my thoughts all the time honey.

[crushed66]

i remember one day going on the 60, coming back from ucr, while you were going there. we were speaking on the phone and for a second we saw each other on the freeway.

 

well 11 hours ago, i saw you on colima stoppped at a red light looking at your iphone. i drove passed you, turned to my left and saw your license plate. i picked up my phone dialed 1626 and stopped. drove maybe for 10 seconds then made a u turn. i didnt see your car. i then made another u turn going back to where i was headed.

 

i love you.

[LikeCharlotte]

Wow. That's truly hilarious.

Ditto mon ami

[tealeafbud]

is it true???

[SelfCentered]

Hey

 

That thing you never wanted to do in the bedroom is actually really fun.

 

Oh, and i'm using your old hoodies as firewood.

 

Kind regards!

[dprelz]

What's so special about that ****ing guy?

 

That house is in the middle of nowhere, on some big ass hill. It's not even close to anything.

 

He looks old. A lot older then me. I'd say he is around 36. Pretty tall, Kinda fat. Not really good looking..

 

So that's it. That's the guy that turns you on?

 

You know what's even worse is I can get a hot little thing.. It would make you so ****in jealous.. Get like a petite 22 year old and take lots of pics and put them on facebook. and then you and this ****in old dude can sit beside the campfire with your tea and slippers while me and this young little hottie will be smokin weed and ****in all night.

 

I hate how you are older then me. I hate it. It handicaps me no matter what. I have less credibility because I'm younger and more inexperienced. and it will always be like that. you are always going to be older. but you don't know more then me, and you never did. i said i would come back for you when i was ready. then i come back and your with this ****tard now. i have an apartment waiting for us. my own business. ****ing amazing body i would **** the **** out of you like never before. but i dont even get a chance.

 

why dont you just leave that ****in guy. i mean how good could he be he is like 10 years older then me. the only reason he knows **** is because all the women in his life left him and he is still around. thats ****in bull****. ****

[Growingup]

****

 

I have exam tomorrow...a ****ing huge ass exam... I have no chance in passing because all I can do is think about you and I know it's weird. **** even when I think about what I am doing I am laughing at myself, who the hell cares about a girl soo much to have it ruin your life. I just can't stop thinking about why you stopped kissing me half way through the relationship, you said it was because you're sick and maybe.. but we were making out several times when you were sick. I should have played things alot more cool but I was afraid that the long distance relationship wouldn't work out in a month so I was moving things fast I guess.

 

I am sorry that I didn't contact you the week before I broke up with you, but I didn't know what to say when you said I was freaking you out.

 

****

 

I know it was all my fault, I knew it was going to go to **** when I worrying about if you still liked me, if you were happy, if I should be mean, if I should be nice, if I should do this or that.... I was afraid if I acted as I felt ( totally in love with you) you would walk all over me...oh wait you did

 

****

 

I checked your friends facebook page the day of her bday just because I knew you were going to post something.... and I wish I didn't. So it looks like you found some guy named Osker! Wicked! Congrats bud!

 

This is stupid, you're stupid

I hate feelings

bah

I guess I'm the drama queen now

cya

[SoStupid]

I dont even know what to say to you!!??? i cant even believe you!!! I almost want to hurt you... I cant believe after this long this is all you give me.. Some lame a** words.

 

You have Love for me!!! you have love for me!!! after 5 years thats it!!!??? I can say with no a doubt in my mind that i am totally in love with you.. Everything about you ... I hate myself for my feelings right now!!

 

I wish I was made of stone so you couldn't hur tme anymore. YOU WANT ME TO STOP CALLING YOU!! thats finee... i wont call you anymore, im not going to lie!! this sh*t is going to be really f***ing hard... BuT I WILL DO IT!! i wont contact you if my life depends on it.. << and I highly doubt that will happen..

 

I know that i need to let go... I cant keep holding on to something that has been gone for so long... I wish this was easier...

 

I caved in and checked your email,myspace and fb.. I am so sick to my stomach righ tnow.. I cant beleive you dont remember i know your passwords... I was shocked when it signed in...... I cant beleive the messages i read... and the girls you added... seriously!!!! seriously!!???

 

I have 3 dudes on all 5 of my accounts.... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you have 593480394803248348 girls on all your acounts... I never thought you are the way you are..

 

OOOOHHHHH F*C* YOU:sick::sick:

YOU MAKE ME SICK!!!!:sick::sick::sick:

I HATE YOU!!!!

[ahhhchooo]

I don't want to talk to you. I know it will just make me feel bad. Why is NC so hard, even after these months have passed? You're truly the resounding effect of a drug that I'm going to have withdrawals from forever. I wonder how often I still cross your mind. You're slipping from mine, but you're still very much there.

 

I am beginning to forget the small details.

 

I never wanted this. I still don't. Every time I think I'm over it, there you are. Forever bounding around inside my head. Please leave

[SoStupid]

I cant stand this... I layed in bed all night long thinking about you and what you last said and what you do. I cant help but to get sick to my stomach. Its so hard not to contact you when i wake up.. just to see how you are.

 

I miss you calling me and caring what im doing and how im feeling. Now you jsut say

"We dont have to talk all the time." No sh******t I dont want to talk to you all day everyday. I can deal with one time a day and very short convos but you dont even care to do that.

 

All you do is sit on your a** and soak yourself up with people that dont matter and people that wont be in your life a year from now... Its sad actually...

I dont know why after all the sadness and all the lies and crap that has went on i still miss you and love you with all my heart.

 

I want to call you sooo bad but i know all its going to be is a fight and negitivity. I wont do it .. I wont give in..

 

See if you will call me today! on your own!

 

I F*cking hate this!

[SoStupid]

So here we go again.. I WANT TO CALL SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FREAKIN BAD! WHY HAVEN'T U CALLED... I think about you sooooo much sooo much.

Obviously you dont are about me, you dont love me, you dont care what im doing or how im doing.

 

I think about that allllllllllll the time...ahhhhhhhhhhh i still can believe you haven't called yet! i remember when you would call me as soon as you woke up you said " Its starts my day off good." well what about now??

 

what do you do NOW???? I am really curious what you do.. who you talk to????? what your really doing when you say your not doing anything although i can hear you typing a thousand words a min..ohhhh i freakin hate this.. I am really hoping this hurt goes away soon!! Wanting to call you all the time!!!!!!!!!!! i soofreakin hate this