Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[smiiiley]

Boy, is this heartbreak thing HARD...Well what do you know? This is the first time I ever felt like this and I pray to God i NEVER have to experince this feeling again...How about this? I would rather get stabbed with a knife than go through this. At least physical pain (unless its toooooo intense) can be handled and then you recover, but THIS is insane. I feel like for the past 4 months, there has been a cloud over my head and all it does is rain..when the rain stops its cloudy but its never sunny. Now this may sound like an exagaration to you but actually im underestimating it. I'm in this city, surrounded by people...on the train, on the bus, at school...just strangers..for some reason it feels like i'm on some other planet...and then i have my best friends who are great but seriously u think i want to be the "one who is going through a hard time right now" no thanks, so it is hard opening up to them because in a way im numb and have nothing left to say...nothing i say will fix this situation...God I have tried, belive me i have...to get you out of my mind, to be able to be happy again but it's not working...This has turned into an obsession and it is scaring me because I have become this person I never knew existed in me. Do you know that the first month of our break-up I couldn't eat, sleep or function? All I could do was cry and then call you...I was hurting so much, it was rediculous...Now I'll admit its better then before, but Im still hurting alot...i dont think im progressing at a pace that i should be...i want to call you, to see you, to talk to you, it hurts so much to think of you being completely out of my life...and yet i feel like nobody gets it..like no0ne understands the pain im in...NOBODY!! I just want to call you and talk to you but I always keep in mind that the nicer you are to people, the more they take advantage of you...but im dying from this pain i feel inside...from missing you..i had a dream about you tonight and it just tore me apart...i want u to call and talk to me...WHO YOU USED TO BE was amazing...i have known u for so long, how could u do this to me?? ESPECIALLY NOW that im going through sooo much....why is it that when you're strong everyone is around you but as soon as you fall u have nobody but yourself to pick up the pieces?? And how do you do that anyway??? This feeling seems to be bigger than me...i try to fight it soo bad but it always wins........i dont know what to do....what to do!!!! if i had more people i cared for, maybe if i got this job or simply if i had more things to occupy my time..things i enjoy...but nothin and nobody compares to who u were with me......and thats hard to shake......God PLeaseeeeeeeee something has got to give..........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I stay here thinking my brains out what to do to make this pain go away im sick of feeeeeling it.......4 months i should be over you!!! damn ittttttttt:mad:

[EmperorR]

Ah it's almost Christmas, I'll be alone this year no stupid tree that we put up lsat year or decorations. I hope you don't message me because I'll delete it.

[saams]

hey...

 

i wish you a terrible christmas and just overall a verry painful time and i am kinda hoping you get in a horrible accident that involves you breaking alot of bones and maybe get your tongue cut off ? it would make the world a better place without your endless lies..

 

i hope your having a **** time and i wish you the verry worst in life and whatevers after.

[saams]

second thought...

 

i wish you would die in agony and suffer for all eternaty you lying decieving *****

[smiiiley]

i am so angry right now, it makes no f*cking sense how crazy my mood swings are...i just want to scream and throw sh*t against the wall..

 

 

Ok so tonight I'm going out with my friends...by the way thank u so much for messing up my life and DESTROYING MY ***ING SOUL...I have had the WORST four months of my life and NEVER again do I want to feel this way..and you know what's the worst part about this? that there is no skipping this pain.......what does being strong mean anyway?? does it mean when you're dying inside but still menage to go out and live your life with a smile on your face?? is that what being strong is?? saying "i wont let this defeat me i'll be fine" well BULLLSH***T......how strong can you be when your heart is ripped apart???? I guess if thats strength then i have it........but does it matter???? i hate this so bad, i hate everything right now.....i wish i was a cold hearted b*tch who didnt give two sh*ts about nothing....its unbelievable how much u are not hurting and how bad im hurting........too much f*cking suffering over someone who doesnt even think of me........this is rediculous.....

 

 

 

LOVE MAKES ME SICK:sick::sick::sick::sick::sick:

PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO BE SWEETHEARTS FOR YEARS THEN FINALLY BE COLD AND HEARTLESS AND BREAK YOUR HEART:sick::sick::sick:

[McSigh]

::warning! the follow is a stream of consciousness::

 

 

its 1:58 a.m

 

i am so tired.....

you are on aim right now and i sit here with heavy eyes hoping a few crumbs will fall off the table.

those crumbs being you messaging me and this one message leading to a conversation

this conversation leading to you asking about our relationship.....and with this i will release the floodgates and say everything ive ever wanted to say.

 

 

this is the same scenario ive been dealing with for a long time....you never say the magic words, im left here....with nothing....nothing..but its my fault because you dont owe me anything...and even im smart enough to realize that.

 

i then go to my bed directly behind this computer and intertwine in the sheets.trying to get comfortable, i cant....i think of you. "oh what if you were here" "oh....remember this!" "oh this oh that. oh whatever"...

 

i hate this bs because i know what im doing to myself......i know my times being wasted. i know that i could be asleep now getting ready for tomorrow...a new day thats alllll mine. but i tire myself sitting here hoping you'lll take interest in me.

knowing very effing well your looking at youtube or one of those illegal movie stream sites.

 

and so why am i posting here?

why?..........because i randomly found this site while trying to find other sites that would help me in forgetting you...

 

i saw the title "write here instead of contacting your ex" because knowing my stupiditiy i will wait here till you get off.and it till be late. and i will be tired and sad..

 

im writing this on this website so that i can sleep.

[Kamille]

im writing this on this website so that i can sleep.

 

let your ex go and sleep tight!

[feeling so alone]

hey i'm new on here not to sure what i'm doing. my boyfriend of 2 and a half years left 2 days ago....yep just before xmas. to make matters worse i'm already a single mum of 2(not his) he says he needs time to himself to think, he's not said it's over or anything but i dont know what to do i'm in a right state

 

does anyone have any advice??

 

 

 

LOVE MAKES ME SICK:sick::sick::sick::sick::sick:

PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO BE SWEETHEARTS FOR YEARS THEN FINALLY BE COLD AND HEARTLESS AND BREAK YOUR HEART:sick::sick::sick:

[Sandy22]

Isn't it funny how things change?? Do you want me to come and see you?? What the heck does that mean?? You dumped me remember?? so what are you seeing me for? I love you and I miss you and i say OK to that. What more do you want?? I have a hard heart! Thanks for letting me know that ... did you expect me to cry, beg and plead?? when you told you clearly that you are done with me! Please you must be messing with the wrong chic because I ain't that clingy girl you hear me. I move on when i ain't wanted around any more. I don't hang around folks who don't want me around. Do you think you are going to get me back by starting off being proud first? Or don't you realize the gravity of what you did? Are you really that daft? I would love to think that you are very smart and not stupid and pointless as you sounded the other day. You haven't started begging yet but I know you will. And I will be at the other end having a laugh:D:laugh:

 

I must admit you sounded very lonely, vulnerable, and empty. I can tell that you did miss me a LOT too. Such a cliche but you never knew what you had until i wasn't there anymore. What about that more understanding girl?? Why haven't you found her yet? Why are you telling me that your future isn't as bright anymore because i wont be in it? LOL. I will have the last laugh in all of this!

 

I will say though that part of me wants to take you back because you ain't a horrible person BUT what about that witch of a woman you call your mother? You have no problems and I know how to work well with you BUT your mother is a ****.ing bit.ch and I cannot imagine her being a grand mother or even a mother in law. You are such a cun.t when it comes to her. Why can't you stand up to her? you know she doesn't even love you all she cares about is herself and no one else! She will die a very lonely woman because she doesn't deserve anything good from ANYONE! I will just leave all the jugdements because I ain't God and that is wrong of me to say such things about someone's mother but she's just

[MWH]

Dear Psycho ex,

 

My, my, you noble, thoughtful, compassionate humanist. How very loving you are for "letting me go out of love". BARF! While I indeed agree that breaking up with you is the VERY best thing for me I fail to feel the "love"...

 

You color our breakup in the light of "*Sigh* We just couldn't stop fighting" and "*Sigh* You're just too tired to work on the relationship".

 

What are you tired from? From your blind seething RAGES? Are you tired from berating me for hours on end? Are you, Princess, tired from your rapidly shifting moods? Are you tired from cheating? Are you tired from cussing up one side and down the other? Give me a break!

 

Yeah yeah I know- I've heard it ALL before: "I yelled at you too!". There is a difference between yelling back in DEFENSE and deliberately initiating abusive behavior. There is a HUGH difference. Remember when you emailed me 55 TIMES in one day? I had every right to lash out at you. Remember when you tok me apart on the phone for over two hours? I have every right to lash out at you. Remember when you threatened my parents, my daughter, and even my ex? I had every right to lash out at you. I've had it with your bull**** you disordered psychopath. I will stand up and lash out at ANYONE who treats me like dirt.

 

Who are you projecting your shortcomings onto now that I'm not around? Who are you calling a cheater and a womanizer now? There is only ONE cheater between you and I. We BOTH know who that is. There is only one liar between you and I. We BOTH know who that is. There is only one who rages in response to any percieved infraction. We BOTH know who that is. There is only one of us who shifts from mood to mood, all over the map, and puts on a grand display for full effect. We BOTH know who that is. There is only one of us who fancies themselves a perfect radian being. We BOTH know who that is don't we Miss Sunshine? We sure as hell DO.

 

So you'

re "tired". Me too, champ, me too. I'm tired of YOU. I'm tired of your lies. I'm tired of your instability. I'm tired of watching you shift your gaze into outter space any time you are called out on your immature self-serving ways. I'm tired of caterring to your whims only to have you raise the bar a little higher. I'm tired of being attacked for who I am, what I am, what I've done before you ever knew my name, and what you're afraid I *might* do someday in the future. I'm tired of catching you having an affair with your boss. I'm tired of hearing about your sef-help CD, your yoga, your Dr. Phil book, your ridiculous movies that was gonna "cure" you. I'm tired of the vide you made me last year at Chsitmas where you whined and blubbered and cried about how you realize you have a majo problem and how you're gonna get help". BARF! I'm tired of reading emails begging me to come to counselling with you so that your ugly truth can come out. I'm tired of having you pick a fight with me the next day because you realized that to have me go to counselling with you wuld mean that all your dirty dark secrets will come out and someone other than I will see you exactly as you REALLY are. I'm tired of hearing you brag about how great you are. I'm tired that in spite of being so freakin' great you have ZERO friends. I'm tired of growing attached to your sons and your mother and your cat only to be dumped yet again. I'm tired of being dumped by you no less that 35 times in 2007. I'm tired of counting how many times you dumped me in 2008. I'm tired of sitting here, refelecting on my part in all this. I'm tired of realizing that I have a LOT of work to do on ME for a change. I'm tired of ALL of the hell that you have introduced into my world and I'm tired of giving a tincker's damn about YOU.

 

I'm tired but I've got a lot of work to do. Recovering from your abuse is tiring indeed. I'm not afraid, though,. Not at all. No *sigh* here. It is the way it is. I embrace it. Bring IT! Kid stuff. this is just one more challenege in my life. so what? I'm gonna come out of this smelling like a rose.

 

You? Don't care. You've had every opportunity to get yourself sorted out. Daddy molested you? Not my fault. Uncle molested you? Not my problem. First b/f beat your ass and cracked your skull? Too bad- so sad. do I care? Not any more. you have every resource available but you are too cowardly to face yourself in the mirror. You are disordered, you are dysfunctional, and you get no sympathy for me.

 

Yeah yeah I know- you're "healing". Gimme a reak, will ya? Ha! As if... Yeah you're healing. Following me around in the forums I frequent. You deleted me from your "friends" list. after all these years you convince me to make a myspace so that you, me, and your boys can stay in touch. So you udeleted me and changed your little smiley thing to "relieved". Well I'm glad to hear that you are relieved. Such a cross you must bear, huh? You poor poor tired-but-now relieved dear.

 

You deleted me- why have you hit my myspace 44 times in the past week? Oh that's right- this is all because you "love" me. I forgot. Listen up you sicko- you pervert the word "love". You befoul the word. You defecate on the word.

 

I don't like you. I don't love you. I fell in love with a bill of good. I fell in love with your promises. Your grand and glorious promises of "how you really are deep down in side". I bought it hook, line, and sinker. Guilty as charged. Well, princess, I judge you by what you DO not waht you SAY. I have SEEN and I now SEE. No more words from you. not another damndable dishonest word from you. Shut up. For the first time in your life you need to shut up and slither away. Stop looking at my profile 44 times a week. There is nothing there. Not a pic. Not a single word. Nothing. Go away. Move on. Stay the hell away from me.

 

Good riddence to the most foul-tempered meanest person i have EVER had the misfortune to get involved with.

 

Ugh.

 

MWH

[stoneymirror]

I still don't understand why you ended things the way you did. You left me high and dry and I won't ever forget it. Can't believe this is who you really are. The person I loved for almost 2 years was a figment of my imagination I guess, cause you're acting nothing like the person I once knew. or atleast now that's how I feel, cause I never saw this coming, and never expected this out of you.

 

I should have gone with my gut instinct long ago and trusted my mind instead of my heart. You took advantage of me, lied and placated me, and I kept giving you the benefit of the doubt, thinkin you were a good person. Coundn't have been more wrong.

 

You left me wondering every possible bad thought when you dropped me, and that's probably why I'm so angy and pissed at you. You ruined so much and it felt like you didn't even care. People like you don't deserve people like me. You were completely thoughtless about the breakup and you did it in such an immature way that I'm glad, cause this shows your true colors. I wouldn't ever want to be with that person.

 

Well it's now been 9 wks or something, and I've met someone new. I only think about you once in a blue moon, but I'm still pissed. The only thoughts of you now are bad ones. You messed up our relationship, I hope you grow up so you don't mess up another person's life. You don't know what you want, and you're selfish, don't placate someone into thinking you've got your head on straight cause you don't. You completely flipped on me.

 

If you could have ended things better I might have been more reluctant to moving on so quickly, but you left me totally guessing and so I had to end it completely in my mind. I hope you're happy with your decision, and if you're crying cause you know you messed up, I can't do anything for you. I gave you a lot of second chances in our relationship, and this time you took it way too far. You might be wondering why I haven't called, well it's cause I won't stand for this immature behaviour in my life. It's too bad you don't understand how to treat people. I figure you're gonna struggle your whole life with commitment issues and won't ever go out on a limb. You have unrealistic expectations and I can't be with someone like that.

 

I don't mean to be so harsh and I really shouldn't be judging you, but you don't deserve many accolades from me the way you treated me. You hurt me, and you could have ended things in a much more mature way. guess I'll never get that closure I deserved, but at least I'll know that the person I thought I was with really wasn't who I thought they were. I feel like a fool for believing you and trusting you. You're the type of person I could never respect, cause you always said one thing, and did the other. God only knows what you really lied to me about. Just the thought makes me sick to my stomach and is the reason I moved on with my life.

 

If some day you do grow up, I might be willing to talk, but until then don't even try. The person you've shown me in the last days of the relationship isn't anyone I'd ever see myself with. Good luck with your new life, I hope someday you find someone new that you can respect. You left me wondering how big a lier you really were. All your credibility flew out the window the minute you left. I'm just happy I finally met someone who's upfront and honest with me to begin with. It's such a refreshing feeling not having to guess if the person you're with is really who they say they are.

[FF84]

Merry Christmas.

[Sandy22]

Bloody Irritant idiot! That's what you are. You called me last night to get me upset. Can't you see that we are no longer together?? Is this your attempt at trying to come back?? well you suck at it and keep it up and you will push me further away. Why can't you be humble for once in your life?? What the heck is your problem? I don't owe you anything so I have nothing to lose here. Obviously you say you still love me, miss me and all that then you want to argue with me about what happened and what didn't happen? By the way, why do you even bother calling me? You are still beating about the bush and you have yet to come out to say what it is that you want from me. You are just rambling on and on about irrelevant issues. Seriously my patience is wearing thin and stop making me hate you even more because i will if you keep cocking up like you are right now.

[LiveandLearn]

I left your xmas gift with the receptionist about an hour or two ago. I wonder if you got it yet. You haven't called/emailed/txtd. Not that I expect you to. I mean, I did leave a note on the gift telling you that there's no need for you to call me and say thank you. Maybe that's what happened; you followed my instructions for once. I guess I was hoping you wouldn't. Although, I know if you did call, I would still ignore your call. Maybe the receptionist hasn't given it to you yet. I don't know. I just hope you get it, but I'm not going to contact you to find out.

 

Hope you have a pleasant holiday...with or without that wench.

 

I'm slowly getting myself together. Without you. I can feel myself getting a little bit stronger by the day. I won't let this break me. Even after all that has happened, I do wish you well. I do still care for you and love you. I hope you get yourself together, as well.

[sumdude]

You know yesterday I hoped and tried to have a decent moment with you, likely our last. I thought we did. I took what you said at face value and wished you well. I wanted to put all the anger and everything else behind me but after talking with a friend today I guess I have a few things to say that I've held back for a while ..

 

What I don't get P, is that after all this time you still manage to try and decieve me. Why bother at this point? You say you married C's cousin W. Oh but wait, last year his name was K. Yet when a friend gets a Christmas card with the label C and P Rxxxx and all the names inside, well what am I supposed to think? Do you not expect me to find out about it? Can't you keep your stories straight? Did you not think I already knew that C's middle name is W? That the house you allegedly moved into as a roommate was owned by him? That I know you were in G-town when you said you were at your brother in laws funeral? That I knew all this within a few weeks of you leaving. To use a funeral as an excuse..how lovely. Is this what you call living a Christian life? I suppose maybe you think you're doing me a favor or softening the blow or are you just afraid of the truth coming out. Of me telling someone new in your life the truth about the past? So now I can't believe a lot things you've said, I wonder about what other secrets I missed the whole time we were together. Just how far back it all went. Like the 'sudden' appearance of herpes, alanon, your 'quilting' group, why exactly you wanted so badly to drive your own car to the beach that time to stop by a 'friends', the 'parties' at J's on and on. Say whatever you want to yourself to justify how you treated me and the things you've done. I can only imagine what you've said to others about me and what I may have done. No I wasn't perfect but I tried and tried, I supported you financially when you couldn't keep a job. Did everything I was capable of to have a comfortable life. Every new career idea I supported, lifeguard, child care .. whatever. I was insanely patient, I defended you to friends and family over and over except for the few times when I didn't which is all you would remember. Those times you mentioned I regret deeply and am truly sorry for but I was unable to control myself at the time but I'm only human. Yeah, it was a perfect storm and I suppose our relationship couldn't survive it, seems it was easier for you to just let go and find something else and I'm sure someone helped to convince you for thier own reasons. In the end I thought and felt like I was just another horse for you to ride, ridden hard until I fell then put out to pasture while you found your next ride. I too felt completely used and used up. I do think that you are bipolar and I have depressive cycles. I also think you are a compulsive liar and can't control it. Hopefully you've been getting help for that and are truly changing for your sake and for everyone around you.

 

"Forgive them father for they know not what they do."

 

I'll let God sort it out. Good luck with your new life and marriage...heh you're gonna need it.

 

Good bye and good riddance.

[alwayssme]

hey..long time dont talk to u here....sometimes i feel like calling you and just letting you have it for all the decieving, lying and hurt you caused me........thank you!!! you kind of got me real messed up about love..........like i almost dnt believe in it anymore...sometimes i really hate you, like i just want to scream at you and just let you have it but you know what...im bigger than that, im better than that......its just so so sooo sad, how many times i would take u back when u would come crying saying you were so in love and you just couldnt be without me.....i must be real dumb cause im always there for others but when my world was crushing, nobody gave a damn...Life can be so cold sometimes..all i wanted was for you to keep your promise and be there for me, everything you promised me you did the opposite...yet i still love you and miss you...and probably always will...how did i get to have such luck in love?? errrr!!!

[LikeCharlotte]

O-

Don't even think about looking in my direction. Go away.

-Charlotte

[FeedingOnFever]

Hey, C.

 

I know you have a horrible memory, which is probably protecting you from having to think about what a big mistake you made when you left me. So, here it is laid out for you: all the things that we were that you threw away.

 

I got you through high school. Without me you would have flunked four of the six classes in your senior year and would be working at McDonalds forever.

 

I was a tomcat in bed. Good luck finding another girl who's as passionate and sexy as I am... especially with your world record of sex drive being a whopping 15 minutes. Mmm, mmm, mmm. Why did I put up with that again?

 

I was your lexi-pet. Remember? I'd cuddle up to you when you were sick or cold or sad and put my head on your stomach like I was your pet, since we couldn't get an actual animal. I know if you don't miss me you definitely miss her. Well, pets run away when you don't take care of them.

 

You'll never find someone who gets your sense of humor like I do. All of the inside jokes that lit up your face and brightened your day are basically dead. Kiss them goodbye, no one will ever share those memories with you.

 

You are kidding yourself if you ever think you'll find another girl who will spend so much of her time helping you out, buying you the best gift she can, and learning so much about you that she knows exactly how to make your day brighten up.

 

When we got arrested on our one-year anniversary for tresspassing and you were crying because it was all your idea and you thought you let me down, I held you close and said that it was the best, most memorable date ever, and that we'd have a hilarious story to tell later.

 

I should have left you over the Daria thing. But I let you explain yourself and I forgave you. More than you could ever offer someone, and more than you deserved.

 

Good luck finding a girl who will be absolutely, unconditionally in love with you. That girl will have to put up with your messiness, your laziness, your lack of motivation, your self-pity, your childish temper tantrums, your flirting, your shameless lying, your lack of ability to put effort into anything, and your Peter Pan complex.

 

When I was with you, I never once even looked at another guy. I only had eyes for you. It was damn amazing, that a 18 year old girl would not even turn her head at the most hot, jaw-dropping celebrity even if he landed naked in her lap. I would have said, "Excuse me, can you move? Your naked body is blocking my view of the love of my life."

 

You are never going to find someone who was as good to you as I was. But I am going to find someone who will treat me a hundred times better than you could even dream.

 

I hope you grow a pair and pick up your life before it bites you hard in the ass.

[Crazy.S]

You left an empty void that I can not wait to fill. I am just going with the flow.

[MWH]

Dear Ex,

 

I'm am glad that the hell I've put up with for so long is over. I am, however, pissed!

 

I'm so frustrated I could scream because of your self-serving distortions and blame-shifting. How DARE you whine to me (you poor porr princess) about how you're "too tired" to work at our relationship! How DARE you! What are you tired from? You've done nothing to improve things. I asked you long long ago to learn to control your raging temper. I told you that I would stand by you as long as you TRIED. You never tried. from day-one until the last day you raged and abused and curled your lip and smirked at me as you mocked me and tore me down in the most horrible ways. And you have the sheer agll to say that "you're tied"?

 

Thats nothing but crap and you know it. Theonly thing you could possibly be tired from is your rages and tantrums. I can see how they exhausted you. I can also see how tired you must be from running from your fears. Yes- you run from your fears. Why? Because you are a coward. You are a bully and ALL bullies are really, deep down in sde, scared little people. Bully=coward with a big mouth.

 

So we didn't make it. That's fine. I'm cool with that. In fact I'm GLAD. I really am. I'm no longer henpecked, nagged, omistreated, or abused. Yes ABUSED No sense mincing words now is there? Hell no! I'm sick of being intimidated by you and now I am free to call a spade a spade: You are disordered, abusive, cowardly, and nothing but a phony. But I digress...

 

Not only did you use me and abuse me and damn near destroy me but you continue to inflict your abuse on me. Your last message to me, which was really for YOU(everything you do is self-serving and only looks "human" on the surface) implies that I somehow played a part in the path of destruction you created. Well your path of destruction funs far and wide and is far longer then the coule years I wasted with you.

 

You destroyed your family. you had a good man who provided for you wonderfully. you had two kids and a great home. How did you show your apprciation for the 18 years your husband gave you? you cheated on him and later, as he took you on the vacation of lifetime you chose to fuss, fight, and ultimately end the marriage. You destroyed a family and shatterred it into a million pieces and all you have to say about that is "your needs weren't being met". You selfish little witch. No wonder he didn't balk and didn't fight to save your marriage. He ought to be cannonized as a saint for putting up with your abuse for as long as he did.

 

You have now destroyed another relatipnship. I almost said 'our" relationship but truly it was only "mine". There was only one active partcipant in that cluster#@%& and that fool was ME. You? You were there in body but you never gave a damn about anyone but yourself. You saw me as someone who had everything you lack. Compassion, sensitivity, introspection, self-knowledge, calm, generous, loving, empathetic. You latched-on nd set your hooks deep and frankly, princess, you played me like a pian0. It took a coupe years and in the end I was reduced to a pathetic puddle of my former self. My business is failing, my moneytree dried up, and it was crunch-time. time for you to step up, to really step up and stand by your man. What did you do? You poured on the abuse even harder. Not only did you have a knife in my back but you twisted it. When I was sick you chose that time to inflict even more abuse and you loved every sick minute of it. You describe yourself as a "nurturer". OMG are you kidding me? My God, woman, you're truly delusional. You might WISH you had some form of redeeming quality but you, princess, as absolutely delusional.

 

There were only two of us there. We BOTH know the truth. Try as you may you can't "wish" or manipulate or bully me into seeing things your way any more. I know what I know, I lived what I lived, and I have read every word you eer wrote. I have the truth, written with your hand, and I have the video you made me in one of your rare lucid moments of honesty in which you admit that you are mentally ill and need help. I KNOW it, you know it and God knows it.

 

Stop following me around the net, stop hitting my empty profile on myspace 50 times a week, and just STFU for once in your sorry life. You've done enough damage and its gonna take a long time, if ever, to recover from this. I'm almost 45 years old and have been through hell many times in my life. I was never spoiled and I busted my ass to make it and many times I almost didn't make it but I did. Not only did I survive I thrived and I will thrive again in spite of you

 

You are the worst thing that I've ever experinced and dammit that's saying a lot.

 

To hell with all this and to hell with giving a damn about you any longer.

 

God help you.

 

Damn......

[LiveandLearn]

I don't know what to do with you. I know I've told you that if you ever need anything, you can always count on me. I hope I wasn't lying. It's hard for me. I can't do these favors for you. You ask if I could drop you off at the airport on Wednesday. I wonder if I was the first person you asked, and whether you had a back-up plan in case I said I couldn't (which I did). I wonder if I was your back-up plan. I wonder if you asked her if she could drop you off at the airport, but turns out that she can't and has to be with her family or whatever.

 

You called my parents to tell them that you want to take everyone out to dinner tonight. That's nice of you. I wonder if you decided to do that because of the gifts you received yesterday from us or if you had already planned to take everyone out for dinner. I honestly believe it's the former. I'm sorry, but I won't be attending dinner tonight. Thank you anyway. I didn't really have plans to go anywhere, but in order to not run into you at home, I'll have to make some last minute plans I guess. I wish I was at that point where I can face you and be 'ok', but I know I'm not there yet.

[stoneymirror]

It's so hard to forget 2 yrs of your life in only 2 months. I really wish you didn't give up on us. I don't know if it would have worked out between us, but i didn't want to give up. I loved so much about you, and now that love is gone forever I guess. I still think of you, and lately for some reason I've been thinking about you more. One day I'm pissed at you for ending things the way you did, and others all I want to do is take care of you, and show you the man I was when we first met. I know I could have improved on some things. I think I let some of myself go late in the relationship and didn't show you how much I really appreciated you. I'm still confused. Based on how you broke up with me I shouldn't even consider thinking about taking you back, but there's still that feeling in my heart and it's been cycling through my head the last few days. I so want to call you and talk, but am completely afraid of being rejected again. Maybe that's what I need I don't know. but I hate still having this feeling of not really knowing what happened with you. It's like I read the best book of my life and couldn't read how it ended. I wouldn't want anything more in the world right now than to hold you tight and tell you I love you, but at the same time, I think I'd be utterly scared, cause it was so easy for you to drop me. I feel there's no winning, just sorrow. Ahhhh

[LiveandLearn]

You finally left me a voicemail message. You said you weren't asking me for a favor, but you thought it'd be nice to spend some time with me. Why? So YOU can feel better? I've told you countless of times how I'm not ready to see/talk to you. You assured me that you don't need a ride because you have an alternative; you already asked "someone else" to take you. Well, I guess that "someone else" can take you then. Don't do me any favors. I don't need to be graced by your presence.

 

And you ask me to confirm with you if I will be attending dinner tonight because if not, you would like to reschedule because "the whole point was to have dinner with the family." Well, if you want to do something nice for my parents, then just do it. Don't let it be dependent on whether I come along or not. Or do you feel it would be too awkward without me there? Maybe you don't want to be questioned by them about where we went wrong and why we're separated?

[audrey_1]

I'm so sad. All of this could have been avoided if I had just gone with the flow and opened myself up to you. The holidays are hard. So much "love" and "cheer" going around, but I feel nothing. I don't fall easily, and when I do, it scares me that it may not last, so when everything goes wrong, it's my fear that's usually the culprit. Stupid me. Why can't I just accept when things go right and there's a connection? I've got to get over my fear. It will never end positively.

[feeling so alone]

The git actually txt me to tell me we're over this morning.... what a coward and what a waste of 2 and a half years!