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polywog

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Well this is for both of you, the only two guys I have really loved.

 

I don't know what to do right now. C, I know that I can never contact you again. You were unbelievably hurtful at the end. You made it clear that you did not want me anymore. I wanted to call you last night so badly, just to ask, why? Why did you treat me like that? Do you even feel bad? But I didn't. I played out the whole conversation that we would likely have in my mind, and I realized talking with you would not make me feel better. Not at all. Even if you apologized, it would have been me who called to ask for an apology, not you calling because you genuinely felt bad. And worst case scenario, you just would be cold and uncaring and I would feel a thousand times worse for calling you.

 

So yay for me, I didn't call:) Sticking to my guns, despite how much it HURTS.

 

As for you B, you were the first person I ever loved. I thought I was finally over you, but now you are in my thoughts and I've been dreaming about you for the past week. I don't know why. I guess there are things that still aren't completely 'resolved' for me? I think of you and I feel sad again. Could things ever work out with us? It's been a year and a half since I told you never to contact me again. But how could we ever trust each other? Would we just fall back into the same pattern again - probably. I want to send you message to tell you I'm sorry for how things ended...but I don't know if that's a good idea, maybe I'm just opening doors that should be closed.

 

One day at a time.

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haven't posted in this place for a while.

she's gone, i miss her, i think i just miss company.

left me for someone else, that was a big blow to the pride, was ****ing him too, gave away what was mine.

 

haven't heard from her in a year, maybe year and half, she forgot about me, have dreams sometimes, with her in it, haven't had a dream about her in so long, what was this one about?? "she's inthe other room, i am with someone, i don't like the person i'm with, something tells me to kick in the door, so i kick in the door, its her, having sex with someone else and the guy's embrassed, but she looks at me and says "ahh, what are you doing there, i'm having sex with my boyfriend.", don't know how i feel about that one....

 

i feel nothing, lonelyness now, nothing about her anymore, its about me, i have these images in my mind, almost like its a fantasy, strange how she's in my brain but in a different section.. like a memories section.... i remember her clear as day, its so strong, like all i have to do is just go get her, but i can't travel back in time, that life is over..... not sure if you messed it up but you had to contribruite to the demise, i wonder if she remembers me.

 

you know, i see how life works now, and i am no fool, my ex whom left years ago has forgotton about me, i am still pinning over her, thats just the facts. i hope i find someone soon.

 

looking back at things and knowning now how i ended up. i got 8 good months from that relationsip. i can't take that away from her. she's a liar, a cheat, and a pretender, why did i even waste time on her, why did she even stay that long anyway, weird girl.

 

guess she got fed up, ****ed someone else and slowly started to treat me like ****, i let her too, i loved that girl more than i love myself, i guess thats why things got like this to begin with, silly me, on each level where i saw the relationshp changing, i told myself "she did it for me".

 

Your young, this didn't mean anything to you, meant allot to me though, espcially now, i'm not even upset, whatever shorty, do your thing, sad though, we can't even be friends.

 

i loved you, i still think i love you, and we can't even be friends, why you did that for.

 

this women, this image, i got in my head, its you and it won't go away, its been here for almost 1.5 years and i'm not even in contact with you, feels like you died, she died, the image of the person i have is dead in real-life, but so strong in memories, espcially at night, i don't think i can forget, i tried so hard, u want to knw whats funny??? i bet u don't even think of me, thast the sad part, and i know its true.

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Sands_of_time

It's been about 2.5 months since I found out abour your EA and most likely PA. What a horsesh*t thing to do. You've sabatoged our marriage more times than I can count but this one put the nail in the coffin. I am disgusted by your behavior and I wish I would have listened to my gut on our third date. It was just a tiny little voice but I wish I would have listened. No one predicted this from you. Our marriage, our life, our dreams, our home; all have been shattered and I now wish to erase all thoughts and memories of our life together from my head. I feel that you are a sham and our marriage was a sham.

 

I do not want you back and I am frankly so angry at you. I feel nothing but disgust for you. When I see that you try to call I do not answer the phone. When I see your texts I do not answer them. When you email I wait at least 2, 3 sometimes 4 days to respond. The hate that I feel for you is immense. I have lost all respect for you and it will never return. Once the trust has been betrayed it is gone forever. I hate you with the passion of 1,000 burning suns. Today I wish for you to rot in hell. Tomorrow, maybe just a real bad sunburn.

 

I will thank you in the end.

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Hey, I'm dating someone new now, i spent the weekend with them and met her mom and her mom likes me unlike your parents who hated me.

 

Oh and guess what I don't even think about you anymore, just that I was so dumb to not have ended it sooner with you, btw I hope you have a great life etc. and never contact me again.

 

Oh ya I'll be contacting you shortly in a few weeks to get the engagement ring back you thought you could keep it :laugh: ya right.

 

Thanks for dumping me although the 5 months were hell, I learnt to find happiness with in.

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What an awesome day!! I'm really sorry you were too messed up to stick around and celebrate the inauguration with me, like we had planned. But I'm doing fine, just so you know. You were an idiot for leaving; I think we both know that!

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Even after all this time why do I let you keep pulling me in??? You asked me to do you a favor -- and of course, I did it. It never crossed my mind to say no - because it was for you. And you never even said thank you. Am I worth that little to you???

 

Why can't I let go of you??? Why do I still think about you every day??? Why do I still cling to the hope that you will see that you should be with me, not her???

 

Do you even know how much you hurt me??? How much pain I am in??? Do you even care???

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awesomeallalone

Today i learned how much im worth and you know what..... im glad you left now you cant drag me down.... i can feel happy not to have such a downer in my life..... i'll be here smiling and you'll always be an angry little man!!! hahahahahahahahahahahahaha a**!

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Hey ex. You haven't been replaced yet. I thought new man was going to really be the new man that i hoped for. I was wrong. In fact, he's so much like you only worse. Goddammit. i thought I was through thinking about you. I'm so f****** tired of thinking about you. Where you are right now? Who are you with?

 

Why can't the gods just help me and let me be happy?! Just give me someone who will make me forget all of these. I've been like this for more than 1 f**** year!!!!!! I know I know work on myself, focus on making myself happy but my god! this has gone on for too long!!!!!!!!

 

I'm so tired of waking up and going to bed lonely. Why can't I just not want this whole relationship thing? I've been so f***** lovesick for years now over nothing!

 

Hey new man. I think I will have to nip you in the bud. You are a flake. You're another string her along ego boost kinda guy. Jeez. Sorry but I don't have an iota of energy left to deal with another idiot like you.

 

Oh man. Back to regular f****** program with you ex.

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Why do i still think of you so vividly:(

It's been over a month since we talked, 2months since i last saw you:(

We were going to be together again so soon, but you ended it a few days before... WHY?!?!?!?!?!!?!!?

Didn't you want to see me again :(

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Funny, I didn't mean to drive you away

I didn't mean to make you run

but i guess you saw something in me

you couldn't live with

 

I did the best I could with what I knew

though I realized now I was more than

ignorant

more than selfish

 

memories of our past sear the very

inside of my soul

im paralayzed by mistakes from my

tounge

 

i know deep down i didnt mean

to ever hurt you

but what does that matter now

 

if god had made me smarter,

I would know what to do

 

all i can do is continue to fall

deeper

deeper

further and further from you

 

----------------------------

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It's funny that you said you didn't want a relationship. Yet you're with some new guy.

It's funny that you said you weren't into that guy, Felix. Yet you're with him now.

It's funny that you said you would loved me. Yet you left me in a day without making any attempts to talk to me about the problem. Obviously you valued the relationship as much as you said you did.

It's funny that you said you wanted to be friends. Clearly have now learned what that line really means.

It's funny that I would have spent my life with you. But you threw it away for something worse.

It's funny that you're failing school and going out and getting drunk again.

 

You're a bit of a joke without me aren't you really?

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:lmao: In the night, I hear her talk...coldest story ever told, somewhere far along this road she lost her soul to a man so HEARTLESS!! HOW COULD U BE SO HEARTLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

I HATE YOU SOOOOO F**KIN MUCH!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH U HAVE MESSED ME UP MENTALLY, PHYSICALLY & EMOTIONALLY!!!! WHYY??? I GAVE U A SECOND CHANCE...STUPID I BELIEVED U WHEN U SAID U WANTED TO BE WITH ME AND THAT U WOULDNT DO THIS S#!T TO ME AGAIN!!!!!! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao::lmao: I HAVE NOONE TO BLAME BUT MYSELF FOR TRUSTING YOU...YOU BROKE MY HEART TWICE!!! AND WAY MORE THAN THAT AND WORST PART IS U FEEL NO F**KIN REMORSE!!!! BECAUSE YOU WERENT THE ONE WHO ENDED UP GETTING HURT!!! IT WAS ME!!!!!!!! HOW CAN U BE SO COLD-HEARTED!!!!!!!!! HOW COULD U BE SUCH AN A**HOLE!!!! HOW COULD U DO THIS TO ME AGAIN!!!!! I TRUSTED U, I WOULD HAVE GAVE UP MY LIFE FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW COULD YOU?? WHY DID YOU!!!!!! I GAVE U A SECOND CHANCE AND U HURT ME AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND YOUR NOT SORRY, U DONT CARE THAT YOU HURT ME!!!!

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not_a_happy_camper
It's funny that you said you didn't want a relationship. Yet you're with some new guy.

It's funny that you said you weren't into that guy, Felix. Yet you're with him now.

It's funny that you said you would loved me. Yet you left me in a day without making any attempts to talk to me about the problem. Obviously you valued the relationship as much as you said you did.

It's funny that you said you wanted to be friends. Clearly have now learned what that line really means.

It's funny that I would have spent my life with you. But you threw it away for something worse.

It's funny that you're failing school and going out and getting drunk again.

 

You're a bit of a joke without me aren't you really?

 

I really like this post! the last line more than anything.................I hope you're feeling better knowing that!

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Hello D.

Well we laid your mom to rest yesterday..A difficult day for all involved but especially for me. After not seeing you for a few weeks it was hard being so close to you yet being so far away at the same time... I watched you from afar while you interacted with your family all the while feeling like such an ousider after all these years.. Almost 16 to be exact.. You looked so cold and heartless towards me but were smiles for everyone else... Where did I go wrong... ? why did you feel the need to find comfort with someone else.. I thought I was your life like you were mine.. :( Sadly I was wrong very wrong..... I am starting to see you for the person you have become... you are nothing like the loving woman with whom I fell head over heals in Love with...

 

You have become cold... Heartless and so bitter towards me like we never shared so many special moments... those moments in my mind are fading.. I refuse to remember any of the good times we shared... it all seems so distant and almost surreal... How could you throw it all away and yet want me to think fondly of the good times... Its as if your in a fantasy world of your own making... There will never be any good thoughts towards you in the near and far future... Each time a memeory comes to mind I will recall all the hatefull and hurtfull things you said to me... When all is said and done you will be dead in my mind... Someone will come along and make me forget all about you and everything we shared.... I hope you have gotten what you wanted...

 

you were my soulmate mate D.. I would have given my life for you or the girls.... you threw it all in my face........ Well remember this.....

 

If you were on fire... I wouldn't piss on you to out you out...

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Por Un Segundo

Hey you just wanted to get this off my chest

 

I hate the way that after 7 years together you decided now was the time to figure yourself out.

 

I hate the way that before you left to study abroad you promised me the world and that i was yours 4ever.

 

I hate the way that hours before you left you came and said goodbye to my family, but now i know its 4ever

 

i hate the way that you told my mom to take care of me because you loved me so much and you would be back for me.

 

I hate the way that i cant stop thinking about you

 

I hate the way that your family still loves me and contacts me

 

I hate the way that i feel that it was my fault when i did not do nothing wrong.

 

I hate all the things you gave me and all the things you told me because they feel like a huge lie.

 

I hate the way that i still love you even though youve made me suffer

 

I hate the way you said you were my best friend

 

But most of all i hate that you will never find no one that will love you as much as i do and that i promise you. You have lost the man of your dreams and you fail to realize that. I hate that once you do figure that out it will be too late...............................

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not_a_happy_camper

Why, for the last month have I been wanting us back again? When there's no us of which to speak. I hope it stings you. I hope you regret it, because I hate to say it, but yes, you do deserve that pain. I didn't deserve what you threw at me. But I took it. And you know what? I'm stronger for it. I'm a better person. Better than you, and better off without you. You lead me to believe we shared the same dreams.................when in reality, I was giving up my own to be with you. While you decided what you wanted. And eventually, you decided you didn't want me. Thank God we didn't last. Because I would have realised all this too late.

 

I still cry sometimes. I cried tonight. Because the urge to contact you became so strong the last few days, that I nearly caved. Until I read through everything I've posted here, everything I've written in the past three months, every photo of us, every video, every memento. I dragged them all up. And realised how little I'd have to go back to anyway. I don't cry because you're gone anymore. I cry because I loved someone who could hurt me so much and feel so little remorse. But I'm not ashamed to admit it. I loved with all my heart and soul. My only fear now is that I won't be whole for the next person. Because you broke me. Yeah I"m getting back to normal. But will I ever be whole again?

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I just needed a little jolt. You didn't have to walk out on me and leave for good. :(

 

I've given you many chances, but you can't give me one? And now you're off with your new girl who you started cozying up to just three weeks after you decided you want out. It doesn't jive with your email to me two days after the breakup. Do you remember what that email says? In it you said that you love me and that a part of you has given up but another part is hopeful that we can get back together.

 

I don't get you. I guess I never knew you at all.

 

Oh no thanks for making me feel that the breakup is ALL MY FAULT.

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ITSTIMETOMOVEON

Hi,

 

I hear a lot of good advice to not contact an ex. I dated a guy over seven years ago, and we haven't talked in almost five years. I've dated other people, but I have not gotten over him. I didn't stalk him. He was though the first guy I really fell in love with, even if I dated other men before him.

 

But even though I don't contact him, I still have feelings for him. And so I may not be SPEAKING TO HIM, but I am THINKING about him.

 

Anyway, I finally emailed the guy over the weekend. Just a casual hi and a checkup of whether his email worked. He responded with a brief sentence, and I responded back. I also don't think he's going to respond back. He's too good to just have a friendly conversation. That's all.

 

I wonder if this was a bad idea, but it just confirms my belief my ex was an *******. I realized he had his own ****, and I was really nice to tolerate it, but he's a prick. I admit we may not be dating now, and sometimes people take time to get over a break up, even seven years, but I have a right (for me at least) to validate something that meant something to me.

 

He may not validate it now, but **** HIM. It meant something to ME, you stupid bitch. I mean something, and that relationship meant something to me, even if it seems to make you want to act like it's all past.

 

I may try to act all spiritual and let you go, so I can move on, but I wished I had ****ing your ass out, because I took time in that relationship. I tried to put my soul into it. You stupid BITCH!!!!

 

I am going to move on but damn it I wished I had cussed you out because it feels better to me. And it feels better to know that I"M WORTH SOMETHING YOU ****ING COW!

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I really like this post! the last line more than anything.................I hope you're feeling better knowing that!

 

Thanks, it did make me feel a little better ;)

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ITSTIMETOMOVEON

And to all you dumpers that act like it's no big deal to erase a part of your life as significant to the other person that you dated - WELL **** YOU.

 

The dumpee may be kind and nice and try not to bug you, but that's **** is stupid. I should have cussed that mother ****er out years ago instead of acting like it didn't bother me. Dumb ass bitch. You could at least try to be friendly to me in an email. I don't give a **** if you have another persoon in your life, I'm not trying to sleep with you.

 

**** YOU! You may act like the relationship never happened - but it did. AND IT MEANT SOMETHING TO ME BECAUSE I ****ING DESERVE LOVE. I ****ING DESERVE SOMEONE.

 

BITCH!q

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ITSTIMETOMOVEON

I just want to say to me ex that I'm worth some ****. You damn right ****ing *******. You ****ing dump me and find some other ****er to be with and dump them. Whatever you ****ing do - know this - I'm worth something. I have a ****ing voice and I ****ing deserve love. I ****ING DESERVER SOEMEONE IN MY EXPERIENCE. AND I hate being ****ing lonely. i hate acting to friends that I'm ok single, and I have a career to make me happy, when I want someone to be with.

 

**** YOU BITCH. **** YOU AND YOUR SNOTTY LIFE. I WISHED I HAD cuSSED YOUR ****ING SORRY ASS FOR DUMPING ME AND NEVER GIVING ME A CHANCE.

 

Instead I just stood still and said LET GO LET GOD - as if that ****ing did something - cuz I'm still having emotioons over you. My relationship with you meant something - and meant something to me - SO **** YOU.

 

No matter when you die, that relationship will be eteernal. and whoever is ****ing dating you now, can't escape the fact that I was a part of your life, and that meant somethiing to ME;

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ITSTIMETOMOVEON

i just want to tell you mother ****er that whether it takes three months or ten years to get over you, we still had something. We didn't date long but that time meant something to me. and u can be a bitch and act like its all past ****. it may be past but it happened u bitch.

 

And let's get this straight u stupid bitch - you have a lot of nerve to act like our relationship was some flamin joke to you that you just got over like that. I am not a ****ing joke you stupid bitch. Let's make sure you get that. And you have a lot of ****ing nerve to ignore me the way you do and act like Im nothing anymore to you.

 

Im not asking to get laid with you you arrogant bitch, im asking for some ****ing respect. and you know, i never got that from you like i should have, and maybe now i should have said something instead of being quiet abotu it. but time makes you older - and you are one stuck up bitch.

 

Right now I may sound bitter but i feel finally im sticking up for myself on something i shared with you. And you bitch act like it don't matter but it does.

 

**** YOU.

 

And God knows we shared something you arrogant bitch. I'm moving on but Im moving on that I left this relationship with some respect about me, even if you never gave it to me BITCH.

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ITSTIMETOMOVEON

And another thing you bitch - you're a ****ing wench for like ****ing coming to me with your personal problems and then dumping me and

leaving me your problem. Yeah I guess it's over. Yeah I guess I was

civil about it but then I realized how stupid I am to put YOUR needs before

mine.

 

I know you got problems you bitch. Who the **** doesn't. But if you treat

me like you don't men like what I shared with you don't matter well **** you. GOD sees it all you ****ing wench. No matter until you die that part

of what I shared with you mattered. And I am not some ****ing expirement that you just come and go.

 

I'm too proud about me now becuase I care about me than I care about

you. Yeah you can be rude but this time I'm going to be rude back instead of being the polite bitch that just ****ing catered to your ****ing

crap. What the **** do you have that I don't.

 

You think you're better than me bitch. You think you can prented I don't exist. Yeah keep talking you wench. **** YOU

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I've been blaming myself for the break up a lot recently. I pushed you away sometimes in the relationship. You know I can be insecure, jealous, paranoid and stubborn. I displayed these qualities many a time whilst I was with you. I told you my history and why I am this way and, although that doesn't excuse the way I acted toward you, I thought you understood. Just because I hold these traits though does not make me a bad person. Nobody is perfect.

 

I really wanted to work on myself for you. I was willing to change and you know this, but I guess you just got sick and tired of waiting. Understandable I guess.

What you don't understand is that everyone has faults. You're looking for perfection or the next best thing.

You want to be a with a girl who won't cause you trouble. Someone who just looks good on your arm. If you can't get that you'll aim to find a 'nice' girl. Pleasant enough, but boring and she'll never be.

 

I would have loved you forever. It took the break up for me to realise how much you meant to me and it scared the s**t out of me. My first reaction was to fight for you...so I did. I fought hard and I have no regrets in doing so.

You have your faults. You're arrogant, insensitive, selfish at times and so driven, that sometimes it made it hard for you to see things clearly. You had a one track mind. Despite all this I loved you and still do; this fact alone outweighs all of the cons.

 

I hope one day to find someone who feels the same way about me and accepts me for who I am, warts and all.

I also hope I find someone to weather the storm with me, who will stick with me through the good and the bad times. Someone who won't run when they get scared or because they think they can find something better. Someone who doesn't get distracted by a chav with a pair of big tits and a trowel of make up on their face.

I want to be with someone solid, who knows that I am the one in their heart and soul and can't imagine living their life without me. This is obviously not you. You should be an actor because you had me fooled big time.

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