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SweetyBear

I did what I said I wouldn't. I made plans again to speak with you. You promised me that I won't be stood up this time. I hope you are being honest. I hope that you're over punishing me or whatever it has been that you're doing. I don't think I can take your indifference again. Last night, I was overcome with negative thoughts. I kept thinking I just don't want to live if it has to be without you. I know that's horrible because there's a lot to live for and be thankful for in my life. I was just thinking that this week is the week you said you'd make time to talk and if it doesn't happen again how crushed I will feel. Everybody says I should get angry. I am sometimes, but mostly I'm just sad. I'm angry with me. I'm angry that I'm the one who said the actual words that ended us and I wish, hope and pray that you'll let me take them back. I am only begging for a chance to talk to you. I don't need you to make a decision to welcome me back into your life. I just want us to talk about everything.

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You know, the more time goes by, the more I see what a selfish piece of sh** you really are. I figured this would happen, you barely have time for your kids anymore, they have all complained to me that you have no time to make plans with them - poker run season you know. I hope you and your ho bag biker chick wife are deliriously happy living the free and easy biker life style. I really hate you.

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I should be mature enough to just let it go, let go the anger, the disappointment etc....but im not.

 

 

You ****ing fruit loop, selfish bitch.

 

A training ground? How the **** can you compare 5 years of engagement to a training ground for love?

 

Stew in your own mess my darling, for I know as long as I dont reply, you will get more and more wound up, more and more sorry, and slowly but surely you will watch your ego float away back to how it was when we FIRST met...back then all those years ago when I helped you and you used me to raise your vibration, but instead of staying level with me when I gave you that boost to bring you up, you got greedy and stood on me, used me and got selfish.

 

Now look at you, you beautiful mess...

 

Your a ****ing disgrace

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heatherb16

E,

It's only been three days since we have talked.. As I'm sitting here, almost about to get ready for work, I hold back my tears as best as I can. This is so hard for me. The first day of NC I felt so strong, but lately I have been feeling other things. The thought in my head now is if we are going to get back together. I have no idea if this is even possible, but I'd like to think that it is. I don't necessarily want to know what you are up to, but mainly what you are thinking. I don't know if you're missing me, or if this is easy for you. I don't know if you're regretting this or not, or if you would ever even tell me that. It's so hard for me to see all those other couples out there that are happy, and know that that used to be US. Why can't it be us? What can't it be us again? Are you really done with me? Or just being immature about the situation? I promised a lot of people that if you came back for me again, then I'd turn you down. But the more and more I think about it I don't think I ever could. I feel like I'm still supposed to marry you. I feel like you are still supposed to marry me. I feel like we are both supposed to marry each other. Why is this happening? Why couldn't you just let our love push it's way through? Why couldn't you just be happy with me? I have so many questions that may never be answered but one thing I can say is that I love you. Don't forget.

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L, for the past few days, I've have a strong urge to contact you. I want to tell you that I continue to suffer. I want to tell you about how bad I've been feeling. I want you to make the pain go away.

 

But, I did not call. I stayed strong. Truth is, if you found out I was still in pain, it pretty much would not matter to you. You have shown me that when you are done with someone, they deserve no mercy or kindness.

 

Several days ago, I found out your past kindness was conditional. When you broke up with me, the first time, you were really nice about it and gentle. Back then, during our first break up over a year ago, I thought you did that because you were a wonderful person. I didn't know you had an agenda back then. I didn't know that you were kind to me because you were hoping to get back with me some day in the future. That's why you were so terrible with me the second time you left me...because you didn't plan on coming back to me. That explains a lot.

 

You gave money to charity only when you got something out of it. Giving 25 dollars to charity allows you to participate in races. You couldn't even be bother giving one dollar to my charity, because there was no gain in it for you. You said giving money to charity would be taking money away from your son. That's stupid talk for somone who spent 50 dollars on CDs, bought running shoes, and goes out to nightclubs. that's big, stupid talk.

 

I'm sure you've told yourself that I am fine and that I am over you because you have not heard from me. In your mind, I'm no longer suffering...I have moved on. You tell yourself lies to keep from feeling guilt. You told me you treated me like I was dead to you for my own good. you told me you broke up with me so you wouldn't hurt me any more. I guess you throwing another woman in my face was for my own good too. I guess the lies you told me were for my own good too. Gosh, I'm so lucky to have had someone like you in my life. Someone who would look out for me. Someone who would rip my heart to shreds because it was for my own good. Thanks. Thanks for ripping my world apart so much that I ended up back in therapy. I guess I owe you my gratitude.

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I finally did it. I told you that we are not going to talk anymore. Today is Day 1 of NC.

 

Its been 10 months since we broke up, but we've been in contact almost every day since, even while you've been seeing someone else. You think that's normal. I can't convince you otherwise because you're the most stubborn person I've ever met, and you know this too.

 

You said we didn't work because our relationship began to require effort. You think relationships are meant to be easy, or else they're not "meant to be". Bloody grow up already. Relationships require effort and compromise from both parties, what kind of naive world are you living in? I hope you realise this one day, before it's too late. I just wish I could make you see it now. Just like I wish you'd see how stubborn and selfish you're being.

 

It's hard not to contact you and take back everything I said about us not being in contact. I woke up in the middle of the night last night hoping it didn't really happen, even though I know it's the best thing for me. I miss you, just 24hrs ago we were laughing hysterically at lunch.... things are so different now. I know this will be hard. But I also know that you'll be missing me too, I hope you'll learn something from this.

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A,

 

I HATE you. You never kept ANY promise to me while we were together or apart. God, I hope you enjoy having the label as a cheater for the rest of your life. You promised to not hook up with anyone after our breakup for a month, and you did not go home last night... it's only been 5 days. You promised to work with me until we reach two years, yet you gave up after a week of saying you'd put up the effort. You asked me to be your friend. I see no reason to be one. You're selfish, you refuse to be the support of people. Even when we broke up you used the lame excuse of "You were warned! You knew what you were getting into. I did not do relationships." Oh fk you. How can you claim to love someone and then turn around and hurt them so much after one broken promise after another. "I did the best I could and tried to be everything you wanted to the best of my capabilities." Sure, you didn't treat me completely like sht but you certainly ARE a piece of sht. I really hope you sleep around a lot and contract herpes or warts to grow blisters on your dck. Let every sore be a piece of my heart you broke you filthy wh0re.

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mr.dream merchant

My babygirl,

 

Life's been great. So far since about a month after our breakup I've been with two different girls, and talking to two more. Does this ease the pain of missing you? Not one bit. When we ****ed, all I could think of was you. ****, sometimes it helped keep my dick up long enough for them to get theirs.

 

Its crazy that I'm already jumping down other chick's draws, and I'm the dumpee.

 

I wonder what you're up to. Got a new man? Is he great at ****ing you like I was? Is he always there for you like I was? Do you even have a new man? Its Friday tonight. I wonder if you're going to the club tonight, with your new guy? Or maybe staying over at a hotel for the weekend. I wonder if you'll get ****ed up and screw some random hot guy, or a couple of them. Naaaah, I knew you best for 13 months babygirl. But for some reason....it feels like I don't know you anymore.

 

I remember you asking me how long it would take me to end up with another girl after ending things with you if we did, and we did. I told you a month with a charming smile on my face. You hit me in my chest with a smile on yours. I asked you. You said a looooooong time. I wonder if its true. Or maybe you had your sights set on someone else before you broke up with me and jumped into that right away. Lmao, nah. You were my sweet heart, and you were all mine. You probably still are. Just don't want anything to do with me.

 

I"m heading out tonight, to go see one of the girls I'm ****ing around with. Me, her, and a couple of her homegirls are all drinking. Who knows what'll come of that. All three of them like me, and you're insecurities were right, you hated going into their job because you knew they had a thing for me. Well look where things ended up now. They're all going to be drunk, and they all got a crush on me. I'm ****ing one of them already. And even though I'm already with other people, I never once cheated on you when you were mine. I couldn't, I loved you too much. And now, out of pain most likely, and trying to get over you, I'm breaking these girls off just like I did you. The same amazing sex we shared they're sharing with me. I'm sure you probably already know I'm with other women, you know how I get down. And you always thought I was ****ing other women, even when we were together.

 

I know I quit smoking weed when we dated, but after I have my fun with these shorties tonight I'm going over to my homeboy's crib and I'm going to face about 5 blunts and 3 bowls worth of bong rips.

 

I ****ing miss you more than anything in the world babygirl, and it kills me to think that you've moved on, but the reality is, you already have because we wouldn't be here now if you hadn't. Every soft touch they put on my body, every kiss, every sensation of their wet vagina on my dick...reminds me of you. I'm rebounding hard. They know it to. But my charm is heavy when I want what I want. I ****ing miss you. And I wonder if you miss me to. I love you and you will always be my babygirl.

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(thanks for posting dream merchant man, youve inspired me!)

 

 

Hey C

 

I can't believe what you turned me into when you broke up with me, how you caused me to hate you and say vicious things. You made me feel so unworthy of your attention and time, confirming my very darkest thoughts about our relaty through doing nothing worse than falling out of love with me but being incapable of telling it straight.

 

Yep..it hurt indescribably to be strung along for 2 weeks while you decided, after we loved each other 1 1/2 years, whether you had time for a girl and the way you tried to spin it so I'd think you had my best interests lined up - 'we're holding each other back' and 'it's not the right time in either of our lives'.

 

You recently crushed my world gradually by saying you were being so selfless with your work you didn't have time for sex, or were always too tired to see me, and thought I was being demanding asking you to EVER say a time, because you hated making any decisions, it gave you an excuse to do exactly what you wanted.

 

You think what you're working on now is the most important thing in the world. Go right ahead, be one of those people who can get all worked up about the bigger picture but can't seem to care about the person sitting right next to them (or your family) begging you let them love you.

 

All the best with your ultra independent life, at least I know I am capable of love you just weren't the right one.

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E,

This is so hard. You are probably already at your camping site. I was supposed to go with you. Tonight, we'd be going out on the beach and watching the sunset, together. Instead, you will be enjoying it without me. It would have been so romantic. It hurts just to mention it. I know, right now, we would be laughing, smiling, and kissing. But that's not happening. Why isn't it? I really don't know. I'm sitting here, still haven't taken a shower today, and I have to go to work in a few hours. I would have asked for these next couple of days off, but I didn't. I don't know what you are doing right now, but I hope you are missing me. I hope tonight, when you go out and look at that sunset, you will think of me. I know you will stay have fun, though, since you are with all of your family, but please think of me. I know that I will be thinking of you. When I texted you and asked you if this was the camping trip where I was supposed to go, you texted back, "Yes :( ." That makes me think that you still miss me. I mean, how could you not? We shared so much together. But anyways, I hope you have fun camping and going to the Rodeo, after. I will see you in about a week and a half, for your birthday. I'm nervous, but so glad to finally be seeing you. I hope that everything goes fine. I hope that it will be a good turning point for both of us.

Love you.

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PandaStillLovesBunny

Hey ex, I've been talking to the ex-ex, and do you know what I find out?

 

SHE'S BETTER THAN YOU.

 

She is better than you in every conceivable way.

 

She's involved with another man, but I STILL like her more than I like you!

 

She's a thousand miles away, but she's STILL closer to me than you've EVER been!

 

She makes up unbelievable stories about her life, but I can still TRUST HER MORE THAN I COULD EVER TRUST YOU!

 

Wild, ain't it?

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Ahem. So this is my first post on this thread that's not to my ex, but rather to a girl I like, whom I've seen twice, who told me she can't see me anymore b/c she's still in love with her ex-BF.

 

J:

 

I had a great time with you. I think you're very down-to-earth and sweet. You let me be myself around you.

 

But you never asked me any questions about me, didn't seem to care about me as a person. What was up with that? Do you really not care, or has your head been somewhere else? Or both?

 

We had quite the romantic evening together. I'll remember it for some time I'm sure. Thinking about kissing you still turns me on. Thinking about touching your body...

 

Too bad we didn't get to have sex. I told you to call me anytime, but that I would no longer call you. Don't rebound, girl - it hurts everyone involved. But do call me and take care. Missing you. -kizik

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I ridiculously thought you'd call first thing this morning. I don't know why. I really don't. Not only is not your style, I don't even know if you're going to call at any time.

 

And I don't know if I want you to call. That's the kicker.

 

I obviously need to get my head screwed on and figure out what it is that I want. No wait. I know what I want. I want you to call, us go out for coffee, me tell you some of the things I've been thinking and you to say: Oh Mamma! I'm so sorry I broke up with you! I understand your thoughts and I want us to support each other right now. As friends. Good friends because I've never felt so close to another as I do to you.

 

There is no chance for that to happen. And I've accidently set us up for failure because I've just created an expectation of you calling me, and us having a conversation going sort of like that. There is no room for anything now but disappointment. :(

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I'm already going through terrible withdrawal. Meh! Thank you for this thread. Is there a limit to posting here? I have a feeling I'll post every hour or so to hold myself back. So far the no contact commenced at 9am today, Monday. :lmao:

 

Oh why do I have to have feelings. Wish it was like a light switch that I can just turn on and off at well! ISH!

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After the last few months of this dialogue back and forth, I finally I asked you to let me go. I can’t keep hurting. I can’t keep you in my heart any more. I need to move on. I need to be free to love and find love and it is so hard to do that with you holding such a large piece of my heart. I told you all of this yesterday.

 

But today, I want to call you and say “just kidding” we can be friends. I take it back. You can be in my life. I drew a boundary and I feel strong. I just feel so sad. This goodbye feels so sad. But I have to move forward. It took me 11 months to get to this point. I’m ready to let you go. You don’t want to be in a relationship with me and it is too difficult to be friends. I feel so angry that you have feelings for me and care for me but are unable/lack the desire to pursue a relationship with me. But we’ve been over this a thousand times. We have actually had the conversations. One of the hard parts is that I know you still love me.

 

I still love you but I want to be in a committed relationship. I’m sorry that I can’t just love you and let you be part of my life. I wish I was stronger. I wish I could do more for both of us but I want to feel happy-fun-giggly-laughter again. I want a real lasting love. Even if it ends. It hurts today. It hurts like I am finally moving on.

 

I love you and miss you and I still want you to be part of my life every single day. But I am moving on. I am even feeling “that old thang” with someone new. He is amazing and special and does all of things that I need in a relationship. But he is not you.

 

So after months of NC and then months of dialogue back and forth about getting back together and trying to be part of each others lives we are back to NC. NC so I can really move on… I might be posting here every day. I just need to clean the wound. I’m sorry. I forgive you. I love you. I know now that I can live without you. I know that I can even love someone else. I hope you aren’t hurting too much.

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After the last few months of this dialogue back and forth, I finally I asked you to let me go. I can’t keep hurting. I can’t keep you in my heart any more. I need to move on. I need to be free to love and find love and it is so hard to do that with you holding such a large piece of my heart. I told you all of this yesterday.

 

But today, I want to call you and say “just kidding” we can be friends. I take it back. You can be in my life. I drew a boundary and I feel strong. I just feel so sad. This goodbye feels so sad. But I have to move forward. It took me 11 months to get to this point. I’m ready to let you go. You don’t want to be in a relationship with me and it is too difficult to be friends. I feel so angry that you have feelings for me and care for me but are unable/lack the desire to pursue a relationship with me. But we’ve been over this a thousand times. We have actually had the conversations. One of the hard parts is that I know you still love me.

 

I still love you but I want to be in a committed relationship. I’m sorry that I can’t just love you and let you be part of my life. I wish I was stronger. I wish I could do more for both of us but I want to feel happy-fun-giggly-laughter again. I want a real lasting love. Even if it ends. It hurts today. It hurts like I am finally moving on.

 

I love you and miss you and I still want you to be part of my life every single day. But I am moving on. I am even feeling “that old thang” with someone new. He is amazing and special and does all of things that I need in a relationship. But he is not you.

 

So after months of NC and then months of dialogue back and forth about getting back together and trying to be part of each others lives we are back to NC. NC so I can really move on… I might be posting here every day. I just need to clean the wound. I’m sorry. I forgive you. I love you. I know now that I can live without you. I know that I can even love someone else. I hope you aren’t hurting too much.

 

Jeez. I could have written this. I was going to post somthing here today, but I will just repost yours. Exact. Same. Thing.

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Jeez.

6 months single, 5 days NC. You would think it would get easier. I just miss you more. Mondays are bummber. A start of a new week where I won't call you, and you won't call me, and we will just act like it never happend.

 

Thoughts of you just creep in my mind. Not the normal stuff. Not what are you doing, where are you, are you seeing someone. No, I have accepted that I won't know the answers to those questions, and they don't plague my nights or days.

 

What does plague me are the memories. And how strong they are! How I can remember exactly how I felt, as certain points in time. Lying on our backs in your old apartment in Eugene, listening to the Beatles and looking at you, knowing I had fallen in love. I was so excited. Falling asleep with on a blanket on the Washington Coast. The sun kissing our faces, and hearing seagulls and waves crashing. We just slept and when you woke me up you told me I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Our summers spent in the Gorge. Our winters walking around looking at Christmas lights. All these times that we were so convinced that we had found what we were looking for.

 

And now I can't even call you, can't see you. Can't handle anything you have to say. I guess I hadn't found him yet. It sucks thinking that the next guy, is going to get the girlfriend I should have been to you.

 

I wish I were in Italy right now. Across the world, with no excuse to mope. Knowing me, I would just imagine how much you would enjoy it. But in 2 weeks I will be around the world. I hope that's enough "space" for you.

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You're engaged to the woman you met within weeks of leaving me. Happy , healthy and loved as I am none of the aforementioned. If I believed in a God this is where we would part ways.

 

I hope you have some bad luck soon , I think you deserve it.

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Remember that time you woke me up way early in the morning, farted, and then pulled the covers over my head and trapped me there so that I could smell your stench in all of it's entirety? And then I slapped you, having been suddenly awoken and disgusted? Then you got mad and I apologized?

 

I'm not sorry bout that now, and if you were in front of me I'd have the urge to slap you once more. Actually punch. But I wouldn't stoop to that level.

 

You always told me, "I'm such a f***up, I'm worthless, I don't know why you're with me." I encouraged you and made you feel better about yourself. I believed in you and loved you with every inch of my being. Now I see you in a different light, and you were totally right. You are a f***up, pretty worthless, and I have no idea why the HELL I stuck with you. Hope you're summer is going fabulously, you piece of ****.

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I'm not contacting you until you contact me. I fully realize how grade 6 that sounds, but i can't help it. Sometimes I think you broke up for me for the reason you said, sometimes i don't believe you. I've let you know that I'm here and interested and now it's your turn to return the favour.

 

Really. I see that we're online at the same time. But it is your turn.

 

I'm serious!

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I realized something today. I deserve someone that is honest. Someone that actually cares about me. Someone that doesn't smoke pot, or get drunk and f some random dude.

 

I am better off without you. This could have ended up so much worse if I had stayed with you.

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As the days go by, I realize more and more that you are unworthy of me. I should have cut you off a year ago. You never deserved me. You didn't want to try to make things work. You didn't care about making things work. You didn't think I was worth any effort at all, but you were wrong. I am such a good person and I am worth the effort. We had problems that could have been worked out if you gave a sh*t. But you did not. You are so completely pathetic, living the life of a whore while presenting yourself as noble. You are a laughing stock...something to be pitied. You think relationships should just "happen" and if there is any work involved, they should just end. No wonder your wife left you a few years back. You were not worthy of her either. Sometimes I think of you and I am repulsed by you. You laughed when that slut that you work with told you she would sleep with that person suffering from cancer, only "if he is buff." Your friends are drug addicts, whores and thieves which is why you get along so well with them. I feel sorry for your son...to have a father like you must be terribly hard on him. So you walk around looking down on other people, blaming them for your shortcomings because you can't man up and look in the mirror. My gosh, you really are a sad, pathetic, weak, selfish man.

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I miss you...are you sure this is what you want? I am not so sure I can go through this! But I know what we said. I knew it would be hard. Why do I have to go through this, is it worth it?

Are you just fine like I figured you would be? do you truly miss me?

Can you handle this? I am sorry I hurt you, truly I am.

But this is the end, I know. I just wish this would go away.

I will miss you for a while, i will not call you. I know you wont call me either. How could you not?????Do I mean nothing?

 

I hope I dont see you for a very long time, I dont even want to hear your name!

I know life will be just fine for you. You never cared about what I wanted out of life, just you, so you made me wait, and I waited, for years...now I am 29, buying a house with my Brother, something we were supposed to do. But nooooo...you had to get this done and that and the market and blah blah blah....well I know, I I/we made the right decision and I hope you get what you want out of life. Next person you date, dont be such a tight ass, because you will just get this again.

 

 

I still love/hate you....goodbye

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aboynamedmike

I would appreciate it if you would just stop calling/texting me already!

 

You can't sleep at night and you want to call me? Kim I'm sorry but I told you the best way for me to get over you is by not talking/seeing you for a while. I'm sorry things didn't work out between us, I really wish they would've, but you need time/space to find yourself and become the confident sexy girl I dreamed about. If you end up trusting me more and stop being so insecure I would take you back in a heartbeat, but right now, I just can't deal with it anymore..

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