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Post here instead of contacting your ex!


polywog

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Wow.

Yesterday i was doing so good and today... i just can't.

 

I was in peace yesterday, everything was good and quiet. I was in a calm place, like an sunny island in the pacific.

Today i'm in the storm again.

 

You're going to vacation 3 weeks, and i'm staying. This is the vacation we planned together, in my place. This is the vacation you shown me pictures about ten times.

 

And now you're going and i'm staying. I can't express how much anger i have. And i'm not even in anger toward you. But i hate this situation with all my hearth.

 

Today i'd just set everything on fire.

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I wanted to call you last night, but I did not. You will never know the depths of the pain you caused me. You will never know because you don't care and you don't want to know. I loved you with my whole heart and what did I get in return? Selfishness, dispectful, inconsideration and you throwing other women in my face. You live with yourself because you don't look behind you when you run out the door. You don't see the broken heart that you kicked to the floor before you dashed out. That's how you can live with yourself. Good for you. You must be so proud of yourself. You really are a shining example of a man to your son. It must be so nice for you to know that you are raising your son to be as immature, selfish, and manipulative as you are. I suppose the first time your son break's someones heart, you two will bond and throw a party. You really, really disgust me.

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Right now im glad that I can't nor want to see you because right now im pissed at you and I may say something that I didn't mean. I hope your enjoying yourself and getting piece of mind, but as of right now I do not like you at all. Just had to get that out.......

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So it is almost 2 months of NC and i have to admit it feels good to know that i have not made a fool of myself infront of you. Yes i have had many breakdowns...where i have cried like crazy, BUT YOU DONT KNOW ABOUT IT!!! I have not called you and i wont...i know you should never say never but i feel like saying I WILL NEVER CALL YOU!!! If you and i ever have any contact again it will be because you have reached out to me. You got so used to me always being the one to beg you after arguments. NO MORE!!! Yesterday i stopped logging into myspace and i know by now you are wondering why im not logging in. Well buddy im tired of reading your fake headlines and looking at your dumb moods. We all know you do it just to hurt me. NO MORE!! You can play that game on your own buddy. Yesterday my cell phone rang right at the moment where i was crying for you...it was a blocked call. I never get blocked calls on the cell phone. I cant help but wonder if it was you. Who knows...if it was...too bad for you...i didnt answer!! All i want to say is....Im not sure about what the future holds or where im going....but i do know one thing. I REFUSE TO BE A FOOL FOR YOU!!!

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You know, you changed into everything you claimed not to be. I am glad you showed the childish, selfish, and uncolorful person you truly are at last. I'm over it. You are dead to me. I don't need you, or anyone, but me. I wanted you to partake of it, and my generosity, but honestly, I don't really care anymore. I've turned to apathy. You are foreign to me. I wish we hadn't parted. But it must have been preordained.

 

Have fun. Take care. Three cheers for happiness.

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Trust me its taking a lot in me not to call and check on you, like I said I do care but when I think of the pain you have given me I think twice about it. It will be a while before you hear from me, but I know you will call soon probably either about your insurance, my bday or something silly. Don't expect to see me for a while either. I just hope that you think long a hard during your next relationship on when you wanna do what you did....

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Dear Assclown,

Just wanted to say that I'm so tired of wasting thoughts/energy on you. I have held my head with dignity since you ran off with that bimbo (aka my friend) and said nothing to either of you. Not an effin word. Not one. Do you know how hard that is for me? Do you even care? What I really would like to know is do the two of you feel ANY remorse at all? Even a drop? Do you even know that what you did was wrong? OBVIOUSLY you don't care or you would have called to check or something. Do you ask our mutual friend if I'm doing ok? She doesn't say a word to me about either of you, swears she's not in the middle/involved, but you two are living with her so how can she not be....**** you for compromising THAT friendship. Her fiance is going to **** her in the end too, and WE ALL know that, but now you two are living with them acting as if you were all one big happy family.

 

News flash *******..you're not. And your own family wont even accept you. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

I know Karma will bite me in the ass for this, but I truly wish you both pure ****ing misery......from the bottom of my heart. I actually hope that SHE breaks your heart into eight thousand little pieces and then cuts you with every single one.....

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I just sent a guy on an online dating site an 'interest' today. This is the first time I have expressed any interest in anyone since I met you last year. Whether or not he accepts my interest sent isn't the issue... but it still took me some courage to send this guy an interest after being rejected by you last year. Even though I expressed an interest in him, I still feel a bit sad inside. (I have no interest in pursuing a relationship at this point in time, though I think it would be nice to casually start getting to know men I might be potentionally interested in for the future... if I could only accept that you and I won't have a chance to try again.)

 

Even though you and I may have been 'incompatible', I still wish it was you calling me on the phone and making plans to meet up with me. I felt so comfortable talking and joking with you. I miss that. I have moved forward to some degree. I don't think about you as much anymore, as I am now distracted with school and new friends. But now and then the passing thought of you does enter my mind. I wish I could see you before me - smiling and offering me a big hug. I wish you'd sit down next to me and tell me that you want to see if we couldn't resolve our incompatibilities and make a relationship work. Sending someone else an interest was hard... as I know I should be meeting different guys one year later. It's only 4 days shy of the last time we talked last year... almost one full year since I've had any contact with you. I miss you. I am no longer insecure about myself. I was always your equal all along, it's just that I put you on a pedestal. I don't have you on a pedestal anymore... but yet, I still miss you and wish I had your love and companionship. I wish you were standing close to me and we were laughing together right now. I even have a slight feeling of contacting you; yet, I know as the person who was dumped, I cannot contact you - as you are the only person who could attempt to rescue what we had, not me. When I think of contacting you, the only thing that resonates in my mind is our last conversation when you told me to 'move on'. So I will not contact you, even though I wish we could reconnect. Unlike myself, you've had so many relationships - so I realize that your interaction with me clearly did not mean as much to you as it meant to me, as I was just one of many women passing through your life. Today, nearly one year NC later, I made the first attempt to meet someone new since you, but you still resonate deeply in my thoughts.... I wish you were here with me.

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Saw the stars tonight and thought of you. Why did you have to leave me? Why did you have to abandon me? Why couldn't you have treated me better in the relationship? Why did you hurt me so badly? I hope you call me up asking me for a kidney. I will laugh at you. You can't have my kindey. You can't have my bone marrow. You can have my money. You can't have anything. I wouldn't put my health at risk to save you or even your son. I hate you. I won't pray about this, because that would be terrible, but I hope something really bad happens to you and your gf. I really, really hope. I hope you are in the hospital and call me up asking to see me, so that I can hang up on you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

 

Have a nice night, asswipe.

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I wish you hadn't called the other evening to tell me you were on your way to see me. I have waited 4 months for that, but then I couldn't see you anyway. I keep thinking maybe I should have left the therapist's office and met with you instead. I know that isn't right because I'm getting much needed help and insight. For you and me, if it's meant to be (like I sincerely believe), it will happen in it's own timing. Meanwhile, I will continue to grow and be the best me I can be. I love you so much and I don't think you realize how it tears me up to hear from you and then not be able to see you. It hurt and a lot of insecurity surfaced after you turned around and wouldn't wait for me. Thank goodness I'm learning to squelch those feelings. Also, I suppose it was unrealistic to expect you to wait an hour and a half for me when you have other things to do. It's ironic how I'm learning to trust you when I have the least reason to. Back when you were showing me how much you cared every day, I couldn't believe in it. Now I believe in it and you aren't here anymore. It truly is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever been through. I know I don't deserve a second chance, but if you keep saying you're going to give me one, I wish you'd hurry up already!! :) I am just trying to be patient and not beat myself up. I love you more than ever and hate it that I did this to us.

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I didn't call you at all yesterday. I shed some tears while on my lunch break but I didn't contact you at all! When I got home last night my mom told me you called. I can't help but to wonder why you did. You told me not to ever contact you again, but here you are calling me.

 

I thought about you yesterday but I'm okay I just think about you holding your ex's baby. The pictures I seen on her myspace. Its my motivation to not want to call you, see you!!!!!! Funny thing is in those pictures you were wearing my necklace and the charm I bought you.

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I heard that your ex was telling people that you two are together. I ask myself why you always lied to me when I asked if you were with her. The damage has already been done why couldn't you just be honest with me.

 

Its been almost 2 days with NC. I feel like crying but I wont let myself. It hurts so bad that my sister is living in the same house as you. Why couldn't that be me. Why did I have to make a stupid mistake!? I hate being at work everytime the phone rings on line two I hope its not you but part of me wants it to be you so I could just hang up!!!!!

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BackonTrack2

damn.. these people are really upset..

hey girl/whore/ person i remember vividly, the one that smiled allot and acted bubbly...

 

damn lol u really left huh, u wasn't joking LOL... what 17 months now? no word... oh well, its life and what can you do?

 

later girl

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E,

It's crazy how all I've been able to say about you is good. Now I can tell everyone how much of an ass you are. You disrespect me, treat me like a pile of crap, and act like I don't even exist. You are the person that I thought you would never turn into. You are my worst enemy. You have become so wrapped up in yourself, that you can't even acknowledge your disrespectful attitude. E..I loved you with all my heart..still do..but can't seem to understand why, so suddenly, you couldn't give a rat's ass about me. You are the one, when we broke up, that said you wanted us to be there for each other. I have been there for you..I can definitely say that.. But you have not been there for me, AT ALL, since our break up. Not only don't you care about me, but when we finally talk and I express myself to you, you make me feel lower than I was before. Good luck ever having a nice conversation with me anymore. I wont be calling or texting you. If you call or text me..I will probably respond, but not how I did in the past. If I see you, out and about, I will probably give you the nastiest look I have ever given anyone in my whole life. You are a piece of s**t. My birthday is in 8 days. You better not try and "act" nice. You haven't cared about me in the past 2 months, so why should you now? I'll give you a taste of your own medicine. You say "Happy Birthday"...I don't respond. See how it feels to not be acknowledged for the nice things you do. I know you will try and give me a present. Don't. I will throw it back in your face, unless you man up before then..But I don't believe you will. So just don't try. It's not really worth it anymore. YOU are not really worth it anymore. I was told that I would hear things that you said, and see things that you do, that upset me..But I always need to remember who you are when we dated, because that's who you really are. But I really believe that THIS is who you are, and it has taken this, to show that. You cause more drama then you did when we were actually dating. You aren't worth it. Have fun being a self-centered jerk, and losing all of your friends. Go make out and f**k a girl..Get an STD. Glad it's not me. I will feel bad for those girls. Just show them who you really are..an a**h**e.

Love, Your favorite ex girlfriend.

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Dear L,

 

I cried my eyes out today. Felt like I was dead inside. Felt like I couldn't live without you again. I went way, way down, but still maintained NC. I hate you. I hate what you did to me and I hate how you threw me away. I got myself together and ran my errands today. I feel better now.

 

You will never know the depths of my heartbreak. You will never know because you don't want to know. Why take responsibilty for the pain and misery you caused when you can push it WAY down while you jump to another woman?

 

I know I shouldn't waste my tears on a worthless whore like you. But I cry and I cry. I hope you are the last slut I will ever get involved with. F**K YOU!

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I'm in ___ without you. During my flight, I couldn't help but think about you - probably because the seat next to me was empty, and YOU were supposed to be sitting in it. My dad asked a few things about our breakup, and if I was seeing anyone new. I fought back a few tears as I replied, which was really really strange. I haven't had to do that in a looong while - maybe I did because you were supposed to be here meeting him. You had me fooled. I thought you and I were forever. Nothing lasts forever I guess.

 

Then I watched a movie, which basically reminded me of you, our relationship, and the pain I've gone through the past few months. Through it all, though, I haven't given up hope that I'll find someone who I can love with all I have, that will appreciate it and reciprocate my feelings. I have given up hope on you, though. I finally do not ever want to hear from or see you again. That doesn't kill the thoughts of/missing you, however... that's a work in progress.

 

Goodnight.

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Its been two days NC. I'm not sure how I feel anymore...I want to call and see how you're doing but I already know that answer you are fine. You have no emotions at all. I miss you so much. I can only think about the good times we had. I miss the days when you looked me in the eyes and told me how beautiful I was. We were suppose to grow old together.

I know I will see you sometime today when you come and get your check. I hope I'm out to lunch because I don't want to see you. Although I hate you right now I still want to be in your arms...:sick:

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I'm glad I was able to reach you today to tell you that the situation that caused us so much trouble is resolved. I told myself to let go of the hope, but now that I have some concrete evidence that you still care for me, I want to cling to it. Honestly, I'd rather be alone than to be with anyone but you. I love you so much and now that I can see my part in the negatives in our relationship, my goal is to communicate how I want to change to make things better. I know, however, that it takes two and there are some things you could have done better too. I think it's just perspective and knowing that these changes I'm trying to make are not to salvage our relationship, but for me to grow as a person and so I'm able to be close to someone without pushing them away. Having been apart for so long, I see how precious you are and I know I didn't treat you like that. I know now that I was scared to treat our relationship like it was so important because deep down I believed it wouldn't last. How stupid and silly of me. I hope I hear from you again soon. I love you.

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Hi

I really dont know what to say. The last time we talked I was so hurt that i really dont have anything else to conversate with you about. I guess you have moved on with your life. It hurts knowing you are gone and it seems you have not looked back. It seems like this is really what you want and left me to deal with the way it is going to be. I work on it everyday cause it is hard. I know I have to do it. I know I have to make myself keep moving forward. I know that this is what needs to happen. deep in my heart I wish that you would change your mind and heart to love me and care for me. I want that alot. I want to your love. However, no more of this stuff of not loving me right. I rather be by myself than to not know what it is like to have good love. I need you to love me and be good to me. I need you to share your life with me. I need you to be a man for us and we grow together. I cant make you want this for us. I have decided to put on foot in front of the other. I pray all the time that God will restore our love. He can do anything. I just hope and pray you will be back in my life bringing me all the love I need from you.

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Hello. It's only 2 days shy of a year since you and I last talked. I have been a complete fool... wasting my life over a fantasy of you that probably never existed. You were wise to end things, as you were looking out for your own best interests of what you really wanted in a partner or not. Maybe you rejected me prematurely without taking the time to really talk to me about if we could work things out or not... but then I suspect that was because you were never really all that interested me in the first place to want to try to work things out, and dumping me was a whole lot easier. I spent so many months on this fantasy, thinking that I had lost this amazing man. It was all a fake creation in my head. Maybe you are a great person deep down, maybe not... I never really got the chance to know. Things were so confusing as at times you seemed like such a mature, wise, special human being, and other times you seemed to lie compulsively and treat me with contempt. I couldn't make out what was real and what wasn't. Maybe I watched too many romantic movies growing up about some sort of dramatic love, as I really had no concept of things living in my own fantasy world. You forced me to come back to reality - even though it took a long time for me to really come to terms with it. Anyway, I hope you never find my ridiculous lovey messages to you that I wrote online - as you would think me as nuts to have cared so much for a stranger. Yes, I was a bit nutty. You treated yourself as your own best friend, and I would be wise to learn this lesson from you - as I did not treat myself well when I was involved with you, as I put you on a pedestal and undervalued myself. Instead of pulling me up to be on that pedestal with you so we could stand together as equals, you instead chose to look down at me with contempt and chose to assume that I was standing down below because I was somehow less than you. So I was not my own best friend, and neither did you value me as a true friend either. I realize that I have wasted a year of my life, deeply missing a fantasy version of a person that never existed. But even though I did spent a year pining, at least it caused me to learn a lot about relationships and hopefully I have learned enough not to make similar mistakes with guys again like this in the future. Hopefully with the next guy I fall for, I will always treat him like my equal and never like he is above me in any way. With you I'd put aside my other plans to talk to you on the phone, but I won't do this with guys in the future, as no matter how much I like them, I will honor my own commitments to myself first and foremost. I am thankful to have learned these lessons. And as much as I liked you and wished that you were the one for me, I guess in the long run things worked out for the best, as you weren't the right guy for me (since the right guy would have been a lot more compassionate and understanding and not so quick to reject me). It was good that I learned these hard lessons about relationships through my experience with you rather than dealing with it later. So thank you for sharing a little part of your life with me. Even though we didn't become life partners, it was still constructive for me. God bless you and keep you safe in your military service. You may not have offered me your love, but I still respect you as a person. Hopefully I will learn to treat myself with the same level of respect and dignity that I offer to you.

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hey B***H,

 

just wanted to say how much i hate you. So youve been through three guys already since you left me. Wow you are such a hoe. Hope they treat you like crap. Just wanted to get that off my shoulder. I feel way better now.

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