Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[jv032889]

D,

 

It was a rough weekend. I thought of you. Saturday night was the worst. My mom asked if you were seeing someone new. Of course you are! I didn't want her to see the tears so I had to leave ASAP. I cried for a good 10-15mins. Its fine tho...tears help release the pain.

Everytime I walk into my house I can't help but wonder if you called. I already know the answer but still I wonder. Eventually my feelings will fade. There will be a day I no longer think of you. You will be a memory. I can't wait for that day! I want to enjoy myself again and be happy!!!!

[4givrnt4gtr]

I went home this weekend, to be with my family. god it amazes what a great actress I am sometimes. I think im even fooling you!

 

Im sorry if you think i didnt care or dont care. I think its my way of coping. I put up a front, and its so well practiced nobody notices how sad I really am. Maybe im ashamed I let you get to me like that. I think thats what it is, so I dont let anyone know how very hurt i am.

 

I saw you read my post the other night, when I said I was having a great night. funny isnt it? I know you have no idea what i meant by that, but I can imagine what you thought. I do because the next night you posted you were gonna have a great night as well and I know what im thinking. No i didnt forget you that quickly.

 

I was just watching a great movie that made me think of me, of how i go about relationships and what is it that i do wrong. I was also having a few beers and somehow, the realization made me feel strong and powerful and like this horrible heartbreak will be the last. Thats why it was a great night.

 

I still miss you like crazy, everywhere is tainted with memories of you. No matter where i go or what i do.

 

My brother took me out for drink on saturday night, he took me to a Spanish place, and I tried not to think of the Spanish place we went to the night before you left. Im getting really good at it, to not let my emotions hit me when I do something we used to do, or go places we used to go. Unless I can hide out and cry it out without anyone knowing it.

Actually when he found out we broke up he called me and asked me to come with him for a work party and then out for drinks. Still, my "im cool" front fooled him. I convinced him I was fine, that it was a learning experience and I didnt want you anymore because you didnt want me badly enough to fight the distance. I wish i truly felt that way. But if I could have it my way, you would have stayed here. You would have applied to schools here or stayed one more year. We would have moved out there together and everything would be fine. I would be as happy as I was when you lived close and you would be as happy as I thought you were.

 

I know its better this way though....reading what you posted about God...i know its better this way. But i do pray for you that you find your way back to Him again, like you used to be. Its a lonely world without faith.

 

Oh well. I hope you are as happy as you seem to be. I still love you very very much. I still wonder if i made a mistake by not holding on. But sadly i had nothing left to hold on to.

 

I hope you have a great week. I miss you even if I never let you know it.

I hope you miss me too, even if its just a little.

[Sbrizio]

My God, never before, when i've written in here, i really had the urge to contact you.

 

Today it is.

It's awful.

I'm thinking about you since yesterday. I want to hear from you, i want to see you. I want to hold you.

 

God. I'm backsliding, and i don't know how to stop.

 

I hope i manage not to call you.

[jv032889]

D,

 

Life has been kinda rough lately. I'm keeping my head up. Eventually, I'll find someone who deserves my love. My dad's health isn't improving!

I got a speeding ticket, now I have to pay that instead of three other bills!! Thankfully, I'm getting a .50 raise soon. I wanted to call you last nite. I was worried about my dad. I know your with ur new g/f so I didn't bother. Three days and counting NC...

[DustySaltus]

You are a wackjob, but you were my wackjob? What the hell happened to us? Why don't you think that I was serious about us? Why did you not trust me and try and believe in me? WE WERE GOING TO GET MARRIED!!!!!

 

FIGHT FOR US, FIGHT FOR ME...STOP ACTING CRAZY AND BE NORMAL. YOU'RE MAKING ME CRAZY! LOOK AT ME.

 

I never wanted to be with a quitter though. I guess better now than with 3 kids and a mortgage. You scarred me though, i'm not in good shape right now. Gotta start from scratch.

[rayellis1127]

You were my favorite person. I want to be convinced I love you. But I know this is going to wear off because it's not love. And when you try to contact me to apologize I'll barely notice you. If I do notice you won't know it. You'll need to be even more creative to get my attention. There's only so many rotten things you can do before you start feeling too lousy inside to do anything.

 

I've found a creative way to cope with the lousy things you're doing & will do. More creative than the things I now think you're capable of doing. For example, I started out thinking about how I once thought you were my favorite, and I just now deleted all my photos of you (WTF did I just do?????)

 

I don't even like you anymore. That feeling isn't going to improve. You know, I'd typically wish you all the happiness in the world or hope you roll in sorrow, but I really don't give a ****. When I start giving a **** I'm going to write you another letter but you won't get it. It hilariously easy!

 

oh my god, this really works. I wish I could send you this so you could come here and try it out, but who cares how you cope?

 

I'm actually free this time. No relying on stubbornness to ignore you. One letter at a time.

 

Yep...I really did delete every single photo of you & I'm not even missing them. Probably the best move I've made for myself regarding you in three years. Well...except when I got rid of you. Gotta pat myself on the back for that one too.

[Maoky]

we haven't talked since the break up..

 

why did i break up with you. we should've just talked things out, before doing any thing too rash, but no. I was stupid enough to suggest a break up because i thought we'd be happier. F*** i miss your hugs

[NSW768]

i just want to know when i held you back?

 

are you seeing someone else?

 

if it was meant to be we will find ourselves together again but right now i have to move on

[jv032889]

I miss you so much. I just want to see, hug or kiss you. I haven't felt like this in a while. My mind keeps wondering back to you.

I hate you! Moving on seems so easy for you. You already have a new g/f.

I refuse to give up and contact you. 4 days NC and counting:D

[wondering_girl]

why can't you just talk to me baby? say something, anything!!!

 

i miss YOU

[gd26]

You are with someone else now. Yes, this has shattered my fantasy and hopes and dreams of a possible future together. But I am finally free to be me. I don't know where my new life will lead me.

[Sbrizio]

After two days of peace - a melancholic peace, though, here i'm again in a low.

 

How long this will last? I'm tired, sad, confused...and ****ing desperate to have you back.

 

This will pass again, i know...and then come back, and pass, and come back. I feel struck in this cycles, i feel trapped.

 

And meanwhile you're living you're life to the fullest.

 

Why the hell i have to pay such a price for having loved you.

 

I'm full of rage.

[PerfectFailure]

My forty second year brought to me

My very first love

Always late to bloom

Patience is but one muscle

 

My forty fifth year brought to me

The breaking of my heart

Too old to cry

Tears are but one weakness

 

Things I've done or things I've thought

Waiting hoping closely held

Plodding forward

My dream: the rungs to which I grasp

 

Promises: music to my ears

Valued more than gold

Ear-worms of hope

Hunger unceasing

 

She loves me in her secret place

Her first love is me

Unable to extricate

Fear: Unwanted and hated -be gone!

 

We are one she and I one soul one heart

Why? Unheard at night

She hides from he from she from we

She wants yet she can not

 

How do I say goodbye

To the love I never had

How does she say goodbye

As she awaits the arrival

 

40. 45.

First love lost

I say goodbye

Will she never say hello?

 

She never did

She never will

It was over

It never began

 

Goodbye my promise

Of friendship, love, oneness

Goodbye

Whoever you really are

[BackonTrack2]

I was doing better but this last week has not been good.

Its getting worse, I am feeling like how I felt when things first happened so long ago. I miss you so much. I'm sorry for whatever I did to you... I just want you back so bad.. WHy didn't you talk to me

[rayellis1127]

I deleted your photos the other day. It's hard to remember what your face looks like. I remember thinking your eyes are beautiful. And I can sorta remember how your hair smells after a shower.

 

But your character is too little to fit into my world and you're not going to make me small enough to fit in yours.

 

I can remember what your photos looks like but I can't remember what your face looks like. It's so vague.

 

I don't like you any more.

[glamgurl]

I miss being in your presence

I miss your humor

I miss holding your hand

I miss your touch

I miss your kiss

I miss the way you smell

I miss...you

 

Why couldn't you open up to me?

Why were you always hot and cold?

Why don't you know what you want?

Why did you have so much baggage?

Why can't you let go of the past?

Why didn't your words match your actions?

Why didn't you make me a priority?

 

I loved that you always knew when something was wrong-you knew after just a "hi"

I loved the way you always called/texted me after an argument (hearing from you meant so much)

 

I hate that you think you shouldn't have to work in a relationship-i can't read your mind and no, discussing things doesn't mean we have a problem,

people talk about their feelings!!! I was guarded too but I was willing to try if you were. Was it me? Is it you?

[Maoky]

I HATE that you want to be friends, but can only text it to me even though we see each other almost every day.

 

I hate how one partner thinks of breaking up long before the unexpecting partner does, and keeps it all to him/herself. What happened to communication?

 

Either make the effort to talk to me in person, or go f*** your new buddies.

[Wolf]

It's Friday night, I'm alone in my bed, and can't get you off of my mind. I miss everything about you. All of it.

 

Knowing you're with someone else is the biggest pit in my heart. It tears me up.

 

But if this is what you need to do, this is what you need to do. I can't change that.

 

Until then, I remain... lonely, listless, and somehow hoping that you come back. I miss my best friend.

 

My life will go on, and I won't contact you. But these first few months... these are the hardest.

[Nikki Sahagin]

Sometimes I wish i'd never met you because the single experience of meeting you has caused me SO much pain, hurt and suffering - and all in the name of love!

 

I used to think it was just me with issues, but actually you have a LOT and you project them onto me.

 

I was always honest and I shot myself in the foot with that one. If I liked someone else I admitted it, thinking its better to bring those things into the open than to let them foster inside. You never told me however, even though I know you did, so you basically made me feel bad for something you did too, I was just honest!

 

You called me a flirt even though I'm only ever friendly so much so that it affected my view of my own personality. But yet I've found out you admitted you're a big flirt and you flirt endlessly with women. Now - WHY? And why give me such a hard time about my supposed flirtiness...when you KNOW how you were talking to women?

 

The hurt you've caused me runs so deep, I can barely explain it. Honestly its like being in a parallel universe, in 1 world you were my everything and now you are a stranger.

 

You are selfish. You are cruel. You are immature. You are above all, lost. I've seen the vulnerable side to you, and i've seen the front you hide it behind. This causes me to sadly both hate, pity and love you all at once.

 

I wish we'd stayed out of the mess of each other because now we are so tangled and I am lost, I sometimes think its irreparable damage.

[Wolf]

You're probably waking up in his bed about right now.

 

I'd give anything to hear from you, even if you are the worst thing that ever happened to me.

 

But it won't happen. You're too weak. You're too sad.

 

From our first fight onward, you told me that you didn't deserve me, that I was too good for you, that I deserved someone better. You're biggest fear was that you were trash, and thought that people saw you as such.

 

You were right on all accounts.

 

And yet, I still love you.

 

I still don't listen to the radio. Every song seems to be our song. I still can't sleep on "my" side of the bed, because turning over means you're still not there. I still can't even get off, because nothing is working. Something inside of me is dead; you stole it when you left.

 

For such a strong, broad, big man, you certainly have brought me down.

 

Well no more.

 

Enough.

 

I'm still not going to contact you. Even if you came back to me, you've done too much damage. You can't hurt me anymore, because I won't let you.

 

You may not know what you want, but I know what you can't have.

 

Have fun in the hell you've created, L.

[angelface78]

Hey J

 

Damn its about 3 months now....its been like forever. I know you just looked at my myspace. Why does it have to be like this J? I know you still love me and regret what you did..but you will never be man enough to admit it. Why?? Why cant two people who love each other be together? Why isnt love enough?? I miss you J..i know you miss me too. I see you are not into that girl as much huh?? Looks like ure done pretending. I told you nobody was gonna be like me..but you wanted to learn the hard way. Well there you go..you destroyed everything we had. I hope youre happy now. I told you to stop being so foolish but you didnt listen. I bet you cant believe that its been 3 months and i have not called you not even once. Trust me its been hard and there have been soo many times i almost did...but im doing this thing called NC. For once im looking out for me. I will not break NC J because you took advantage of me..i always called to fix our problems. ..but now if you want us to ever speak again youre gonna have to call. That will probably never happen...youre too proud..oh well sucks for you. Well i guess now you made your bed so lay in it! Me... im gonna be allright..dont worry.

[hopesndreams]

You ass,

 

It wasn't me that put you in the poor house. So, don't be looking in my direction for your financial woes. I did a lot to get you where you are today and don't you forget it.

 

Besides, with combined income you can afford to buy a house, so don't give me that bull. Never mind the child support payments and the buying her off her dear husband has to cough up either. I'm sure he'll be hurting more than you ever could in that regard. Give it a few years, and you'll be in his shoes or perhaps give it a few years, and she'll be in mine.

 

Shoot, even I can buy a house if I wanted to, once my career takes off. Yeah, don't LOL over that! I have my sights higher than just the 52" plasma tv you know.

 

Have a good evening,

 

later

[Nikki Sahagin]

Eurghhh why do you just pop up to talk to me, act all hot and cold, get me talking and f- off? Why do I let you? Must have a self-destruct button. You are just so impossible to understand.

[jlr]

I've been thinking about you alot. I guess, I always do. I can't believe you haven't responded to my letter like an adult. I can't believe, after that emotional letter, you had the nerve to leave me a casual couple of messages about taxes. That **** hurts. Casualness hurts. Admit why you're calling. All these times you call for dumb reasons, just to get me to call back so we can argue about the same relationship **** over and over. Plus, you have a boyfriend now. What the hell.

 

When will you wake up?

[jv032889]

D,

 

I cried to you last nite. You hugged me and it felt great. I miss you so much. I told you everything I do is a front. I'm never home because it hurts to much. You asked where I was Friday nite and I told you. Why do you care? You told me you were moving on!

I was drunk, you were drunk. It was bad...

Your words were "You act like you don't know me. You don't talk to me anymore. I go to your office and I feel dumb becasue you don't say much. Do you miss me?"

I don't understand why you ask so many questions if you no longer love me or want to be with me. Please stop torturing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm at day one again. HURTING SO MUCH:lmao: