Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[smookie]

Take care of yourself today I am releasing you from my heart, my life my everything, We never existed...

 

As I wish for you here and believe me I do

Down falls another tear as I pretend I never knew you.

[Limbo21]

Morning baby, I love you .... I used to wake up to one of those texts when we wasn't sleeping in te same bad as you every morning ... I would do anything for you to send one right now

 

I'm really struggling without you... My best friend, my companion, my little girl.

 

I don't know where your finding the strength from to go ahead with this split. I guess your family are keeping you strong to keep this up as they think it's for the best, and your relationship with god (I'm envious of that right now)

 

It'd be so easy to contact you, to remind you of the magic we had! I keep reading that I should keep up NC.

 

In tears writing this .... I just want you back, I really miss you Amy

 

all my love to you Richard

 

x x x

[HEG]

Dear E,

 

I’ve been on vacation this week. I really needed this time to decompress and try to put some things into a perspective that feels right and gives me a sense of peace. I think that I have found my choice in how I wish to proceed with my life.

 

Although I‘m not always successful, I try so very hard to find the positive in everything. For instance, we can look at the fun we had together and say THAT memory was one of the best, funniest, warmest, most endearing, silliest, goofiest, coolest, most phenomenal, kick-ass, etc. moments of my life. I’m GLAD that I have that memory! One of the many examples for me is the most beautiful hike I’ve ever been on. Your presence with me made it all the more beautiful. It could not have been more perfect! I will NEVER forget it. Thank you for being a part of it.

 

In our last conversation we talked about finding the good. I told you that I have learned a lot of good things from our time together and that I intend on taking those things with me as I move forward on my journey. Some examples of the things that are coming with me are I know what a chickadee looks like now, my love of Japanese food, my increased appreciation for fragrance, John Hiatt, some very much needed lessons about myself (some of which are not pleasant), how to enjoy healthy foods, joyful memories, etc., etc., etc.). These are a very few of the many examples of how YOU have enriched my life.

 

You have talked about choices. This letter is all about choices. We can choose to see everything in terms of all black. But if you choose that route then how can you truly see? That choice is not being truthful with ourselves. Neither is all white. Neither one of us are all black or all white. There were some very awesome qualities to us. Qualities that we have both always dreamed of in a relationship and in a partner. We also have some awesome individual qualities.

 

And then there are our negatives. These are so painful! It hurts to just even look at them. I was writing the other day about what I believe to be my main issue and I started bawling before I finished the first sentence. It is that painful! I have never really put much thought into this part of me. I’ve known of its existence but I’ve always tended to shrug it off and deny that it affects me or my life. My baggage has affected my life to a degree that it prevents me from being authentically happy and self-loving. It was certainly a contributor to the negative in US! How can I work on this aspect of me if I deny it’s existence? I’ve come to the point of not being able to do that any longer. Too much is at stake! I’m not getting any younger. And no one can fix it but me.

 

I believe that we are a product of our experiences, beliefs and lessons. It doesn’t mean that we are diseased or unlovable or unworthy or undeserving or incapable of love. It’s when we are not able to see or when we deny the lessons of our experiences that we stunt our growth and prevent ourselves from reaching our fullest potential.

 

So, things didn’t work out for us as a couple. There isn’t anything that we can do about that. The only thing we can do is go forth and learn the lessons that are there. What happened between you and I is SO convoluted and SO complicated! I believe it’s going to take a very long time, if ever, before we can fully understand it. I also believe that the only way we can even begin to understand it is by learning to understand ourselves and our roles that we have played. We can only truly see up to where our nose extends and our answers are an individual thing. They can only come from within. This lesson has become clearer and clearer to me each time we have broken up.

 

I want you to know that I am working on forgiveness. I don’t want to harbor anger and resentment for the rest of my life. It makes me old and ugly. My plan is to hold the good close to my heart, learn from the negative and that way you will always be a part of the good in me.

 

My glass is not half empty. It is half full. We have many years ahead of us and I believe that the best is yet to come if we let it.

 

Peace and zen to you.

 

 

Love,

 

T

[JaggedRoad]

I have the urge to contact you again, but I know I shouldn't. There's no point in us talking to each other anymore. Whenever I try to reconcile or bring up our past, you brush me off and lose your temper at me. And whenever I try to just talk about anything else, it feels so forced. It feels like my life is being sucked out of me just so I can keep in touch with you. I really love you and there's a part of me that wants us to be together again, but I'm afraid that's not possible.

 

Even if we do get back together and start a new relationship, I'll still have this nagging feeling at the back of my head that tells me that you'll leave at any moment. I think that feeling has been looming around for a very long time now. Maybe it's one reason our relationship failed. I don't think I was able to let go of our previous break-up, and I definitely cannot let go of this one. I can't ever trust you 100%, and that is the reason why we can never be with each other again. I know I was stronger the last time you broke up with me by the way I handled it, but I think I'm actually stronger this time because I am able to let go of you and accept that we cannot be together again. Even if you plead and beg me to take you back, I'll probably say no this time.

 

I know it would be a lie to say that this is for the best, so I won't say it. What I will say is that this break-up has been a big mistake. It was my fault for not seeing this coming, and it is your fault for not trying to talk it out with me before going with your decision. The fault lies within both of us. We both screwed up big time. Reconciliation will do very little, and that is why I would rather not talk to you at all. And I know that you will never make an attempt to contact me because you are too proud to do it. I won't try to lower myself and reach out to you again just so we can reconcile. Each time I tried, you took advantage of my kindness and treated me like a piece of trash. Until you look beyond the lies you tell yourself, nothing will happen. I've already tried so many times to do what I can, but all of my efforts have been futile. I can't always be the one to make the effort.

[makethebest]

What a great thread, just what I need

 

I went to go write down the date the other day when it hit me. One month before our wedding. Two months ago, I found out your damn text message to your coworker. I found out your lies. You cheated on me four months before my wedding. You broke my heart and tore me up inside. I've been going through agony, but I'm still alive, strong, and full of hope (sometimes it just takes forever to find it, but its there).

 

I'm becoming a doctor in less than a week. I've been in graduate school for so damn long, and its all finally coming to an end in a week. I'll hear them call me a doctor, and you won't be there. I hate that one of the proudest moments in my life is now clouded by my pain. I want you to be there when my dissertation committee calls me a doctor. I want you to be there because you will realize what you lost. You lost a 27 year old doctor who treated you damn well, better than any other guy

 

Why don't you ever call me?? You only call if you need something or there is some technical, business about the 2 of us ending. Do you feel guilty? You told me you did a month ago, but do you now?? What will go through your mind on our wedding day?? Its all over, are you happier now?? Why did you choose him over me??

 

I hate you and love you at the same time. I hate feeling like this. I hate the words "move on." We were together for nearly 8 years and engaged for 2 years!!!! How could you throw it all away for some idiot coworker, who is divorced and has 2 kids. He doesn't want you for you, he only wants you for sex. I can't believe that you would do this. What happened to you?? Who the hell are you?? Where is the person I proposed to??? What happened to her??

 

I hope that October 24th hits you hard, you bitch!!!!!!!

[jv032889]

D,

 

I had fun this weekend without you. I can go a few hours without thinking about you. The pain has subsided. I no longer get the urge to cry. I really think its stupid that you always come and talk to me when I'm alone at work. I don't want to talk to you. I don't call you for a reason. You accuse me of getting mad at you. Why? Why would I get mad? Why would I want to talk to you? I don't care if you don't call me. Its funny because you told me you wont try and talk to me anymore b/c I always blow you off. 5 hours later you do the same thing. Run into my office and what do I do? LEAVE!

I was home last night when you called and told my bro that you really needed to speak with me. You even said it was really important. I don't know if you waited for my call but I'm positive your phone never rang. I went to bed without you. I'm not sure why you keep contacting me and tryin to talk to me. I don't know what you're thinking...

[RogueAC]

We exchanged a few messages last night after the show but they were just empty pleasantries. We are like strangers in passing. That’s all we are now. Strangers. Not even friends. You said you weren’t sure if it was me – the woman who shared your life for 2 years. I look the same, it just that now I’m happy, and if possible, more beautiful because I am not the hollow shell that I allowed our relationship to turn me into. Now, you can look into my eyes and see me – full of love for me -- not the me begging for your attention and love. It’s only been a year, or maybe, thankfully, it’s already been a year since our relationship ended.

 

My life is so different. Positive. I have so much to be thankful for. I am starting to really enjoy my life and yet, despite everything, your ghost still haunts me. I’ve seen you three times in the past week but we didn’t talk any of the times. I feel sad today like remembering someone who died. Sometimes I still don’t understand how I could love you so deeply and you could feel nothing. I could go through this another 1,000 times or I can just take a deep breath and say you are part of the past for a reason. Our relationship was special because I learned how to love. It was just practice. Like I told myself months and months ago, I will not let this experience hurt me any more… I choose to feel differently.

 

A few more deep breaths and I can get back with my day. You are in the past and not part of today. Today is a great day because I know I let go and keep moving forward with the process of life. I am thriving and life is good.

[Nikki Sahagin]

To you....

 

We haven't spoken at all in about a week and rather than feeling devestated, I just feel a weird kind of calm. I feel sad...but sad in only a very distant way, kind of like when you look back at childhood. Its all very melancholy, but its so distant from now. I think when I think of you I will always have that melancholic feeling because you taught me to love, my heart opened with you, I behaved at my best and at my worst. Already nearly 5 months on it feels so far away. I find it strange how the people that are closest to us, fade away. I'm also I suppose more saddened by the fact that the pain HAS faded, because it means YOU'RE fading, WE are fading, that we really weren't all that special if I can live without you. Its very romantic to say you need someone and can't live without them but that's not real...and I CAN live without you, I just wanted to live with you.

 

I'm realising life isn't always about having what you want. I've been spoiled and pampered and given all i've ever wanted my entire life. So I guess I rebelled against 'fate' or 'the world' telling me I couldn't have you. But i'm letting that go now.

 

I do miss you, but I don't miss some of the things you did to me. And sometimes those things start to kill love. But I behaved badly too...because I didn't think I deserved to be love.

 

Either way you seem to be moving on. I'm glad really. I don't want you to be miserable. There is more to life than our love. It might have been everything once, but now its nothing, and that is how it has to be. Trying to make it forever was like chasing after a rainbow, you'll never reached it. I admire our courage and desire to have that once. But not everyone can have forever. I can't say I want you to meet the one that can yet, but I just hope that whats meant to be will happen. Maybe it will lead us back to each other, probably it wont. I can't wait on anything. I'm just living.

 

See you later

[Nikki Sahagin]

Well isn't that strange? I say we haven't spoken in a week and you email me.

 

You are an unusual one. So transparent. Your 'game' is really clear. You have no qualms about just PROBING matter of factly for information whereas most people would be too proud to do so. You are always probing for information with legal questions. For what purpose? Then you invite a friend of mine out right underneath a comment I leave...of course not inviting me....so now I have that image of what you'll be doing and who with in my mind....you are so unsubtle?

 

I don't really understand you but my feelings are growing colder and more detatched. Though I wonder about you its like the analytical, desensitised wonderment of the scientest watching a fly beneath the microscope. There's little to no emotion except the occassional bout of what if and a flash of anger...but its getting less. You just...confuse me. I never will understand you. Your games are so transparent. I'm getting sick and bored of playing.

[t0ri]

I could follow you to the beginning,

just to relive the start.

Maybe then we'd remember to slow down

at all of our favorite parts.

 

All I wanted was you.

All I wanted was you.

All I wanted was you.

 

 

 

Miss you lots. Love you still.

[caramel c]

Thank you for starting the Happy Birthday thread for me this morning on the forum I used to go to with you before we split. I only replied a standard thank you, as that was the only appropriate thing for me to reply with right now.

 

So, I guess you did remember my birthday and wanted to be the first one to wish me a happy one. Wow, at 6:45 am too. I hope you understand why I didn't send you any kind of birthday wish on your birthday a couple weeks ago. After my last contact asking you not to contact me anymore, it would have been hypocritical of me and detrimental to my progress to wish you a happy birthday.

 

Well, I guess that's all there is to say right now.

 

Take care,

 

CC

[DustySaltus]

Thanks for holding onto my engagement ring, I appreciate it. God forbid you actually succeeded in trying to get me fired from my job I would've really needed the money. But I don't really even care about that right now.

 

Why did you hurt me so bad that any woman that throws themselves at me with all the qualities I am looking for I will NEVER be able to appreciate?

 

Why did you hurt me so bad after I came all the way over to be with you? I didn't abandon you at all and you go and do this S***?

 

I'm numb, i'm still numb and I will be for a while...thanks

[JaggedRoad]

I have an urge to contact you again, and I'm trying my best to fight it. Why do you still have this control over me? Why? Isn't breaking my heart enough? Why am I still letting you do this to me? Why am I being so weak? Is this why you broke up with me? No... I was so strong before you did. That's what confuses me. And you were strong too. How did this all happen?

 

We loved each other like dear life. How did we end up like this?

[JaggedRoad]

Why am I feeling more and more powerless everyday? Yet again, I feel the desire to call you and ask you how you are. Maybe it's my guilty conscience that's making me feel this way. I think it wants me to reveal every little bit of detail. But would you care? Judging from our last few communications, you barely give me a second thought. Sigh...

[mimiminx]

I'm so sorry that you are such a coward. I don't hate you, I never will. I am just very disappointed in you. I hope you leave me alone now so I can move on if you don't want to commit to reconcile or be together.. after almost 2 months of you constantly contacting me, telling me you love me, you miss me, you want more than a friendship with me,you flirt with me, you're pining over me... but you don't think we can fix things.. YET you entertain the idea of us coming back together.. WTF is going on in your thick head?!

Face it, that is probably NOT going to happen. You know why? Because you broke my heart. And, honestly, I don't think you've got the b**ls to swallow your damn pride and beg for my forgiveness.. that would be such a far stretch for you I don't even see that as a possibility. Plus, you have proven that your love for me has faded by breaking up with me and leaving. Today I am so pissed off at you, maybe tomorrow I'll be sad again.

I am going into silence.. you will not hear from me for awhile. I'm not going to TELL you that you won't be hearing from me, I'm just going to DO IT.

I am going to block you from my Facebook account so you can't keep popping in and reminding me you're still around, making comments almost daily, sending me chats, posting messages. I will not answer your phone calls either. I will be switching over my phone plan so I can get off of yours on the 14th. You will no longer have any emotional connection with me.. maybe in the future we can be friendly, but not now. We still have feelings for eachother, obviously your's are not the same as mine though. You are going to lose me. I guess you know that and you are willing to take that risk, although I KNOW it bothers you..And IF you figure out that you gave up an incredible, beautiful woman who admired you, treated you like a king and babied you, loved you IMMENSELY, accepted your flaws, and gave you everything, body and soul, would forever be loyal and loving to you... ... when and IF you ever do want to rekindle something with me (when you come back to San Diego), you're going to have to stand in line. You have lost your place. If you don't, I guarantee that you're going to be one sorry man without me and you will regret it. It will truly be YOUR LOSS. I just want you to be happy... and figure your sh*t out. Get off the fence for your own good. You can't have your cake and eat it too. I'm done feeding your ego...you're on your own now. I am walking away... you know how I feel and what I want. Stew on it. I won't be around..

[JaggedRoad]

This is the third time I feel like contacting you in the past 24 hours. It's getting to be a bit too much now. The silence is killing me. I'm a quiet person when it comes to my own personal problems, but I simply cannot stay quiet when it involves someone else. I may or may not contact you after I write this; I hope I won't.

 

I keep blaming myself over and over for the failure of the relationship and I still try to make excuses for you because I never wanted to put blame on you. But you know, that's getting to be really difficult now. I want to let out what I have been keeping in for a long time.

 

You always doubted the relationship, even from the start. I would always have to show you that it will work out. You listened when I reassured you, but you always fell back into doubt. You constantly tried to seek out validation from third parties, but you never believed it yourself because you told me that it was too good to be true. You still didn't believe it yourself when I was there holding you in my arms. You apologized for doubting, but you still couldn't believe it. I did everything I could and I always try to do more. I never tried to do the same thing if it didn't work, but it seems like it was never enough to make you realize that what we had was real and what we had was going to work out. I was there with you last summer, and you still doubted me. You were chatting with a friend and she asked you if you were sure I was the one, and you responded to her with uncertainty. I was right there too.

 

Have you ever thought to stop and allow yourself to cherish what you have and believe in it rather than constantly doubt yourself and everything? You told me recently that life is too short to be reassured. But isn't life too short to always try to look for more when you already have what you need right there in front of you? You lose what you already have when you foolishly try to get more. It's never going to be enough to satisfy you if that's what you always do.

 

I put myself out there for you and our relationship. I know you enjoy freedom because you have always been caged in by your mother. I gave you freedom, but you took advantage of it. Don't tell me that you never deserved anything that I gave you. If that were the case, I never would have given you what I had. I enjoyed giving you all that I could, but you always tried to cross the line to see if I would allow it. And you always give me the silent treatment when I confronted you and sometimes asked me if I was going to break up with you. Why did you always have to do that?

 

I'm not really sure if you actually loved me or if you just used me all you could until you felt like throwing me away. It doesn't seem like my love for you was ever enough. It was only enough when you were reassured by other people. I guess that's pretty much what it boils down to. The relationship was only good enough for you when it was something you could show off to your friends. I guess you couldn't do that with those new friends of yours. I'll say this once and only once. Public opinion is toxic and irresponsible. I'm not here for you to show off to other people. I'm not an object up for display. I'm a person. I have feelings, I have my own thoughts and ideas, and I had a soul.

[logitech]

JaggedRoad, were you reading my thoughts??

[Nikki Sahagin]

I miss waking up in your arms.

 

I miss the way we cuddled (the best cuddles in the world)

 

I miss the way I felt I had a future with you and I was excited to reach it.

 

I hate the way i've not just lost you but a whole direction, a whole meaning, a whole future that I had invested in emotionally.

 

I hate that my children won't be our children.

 

I hate that my house won't be our house.

 

I hate that you opted out of being the one. When, I wanted you to be. I wanted you to be the one.

 

I miss a lot about you. I know you miss me too. That's what makes it weirder that you did this.

[fabulous_chk]

Hi Steve. Wow day 4 of NC. I regret what I said to you, it was not fair to you that I reopened things and discussed our past when it should has been left behind.

 

 

My bf knows how upsetting it is for me

to contact you. He has told me not to do so because he

hates seeing me upset. It is the only reason- he has no jealousy issues because he knows cheating is a deal-breaker for me and I would never ever do it to him.

 

I wish I did not dig around for information. What for? Everything is

is done and there's no going back. But I had this intense curiousity about what happened to us and you answered my questions the best way you can- honestly.

 

 

It was brutal to know that during those 4 years we were together you were never really in love with me. It upset me, yes it did because it made me think that everything was such a waste of time.

 

But, it wasn't. I learned to love you. You taught me how to love somebody more than I love myself. You taught me how to give when before I was selfish and only thought of myself.

 

 

So, I was wrong. It was not a loss. I wish I could contact you right now to tell you these things but out of respect to my bf I would not.

 

 

Take care my love of four years- I wish you to be happy again and recover from all this, find a love that is right for you.

 

 

Joy

[JaggedRoad]

JaggedRoad, were you reading my thoughts??

 

Were you craving for some Five Guys burgers too?

[JaggedRoad]

I want you out of my life so bad because you hurt me so much over the years. So why are you still haunting me? You left me, but your ghost is still here. Please go away; I don't want to hurt anymore. Please go! Stop! You know how much I love your smile, so please stop grinning at me now. I know what I have lost, you don't need to remind me anymore. STOP! I can hear your laughter resonating in my mind and it's making my head tremble. I'll never hear it ever again, so please stop reminding me of what I will miss.

 

I wonder if you ever really loved me for who I was. Sometimes I think you did, but other times, I begin to doubt. Did you love me because of what I gave to you and what I could offer? Or did you love me just because I was me? You told me a few months ago that you loved me because I was the only person in the world to love you as much as I did. But is that fair to me? You only loved me because I loved you? Isn't there more to me than just that?

 

I loved you for every single thing you were. I loved every perfectly smooth inch of skin on your body, every scab, every scar, every imperfection. I loved you for your mind, your beauty, your flaws, your quirks--everything. I didn't want you to be perfect. I just wanted you to be you. That's who I fell in love with and who I am still in love with.

 

So what was it about me that you loved? I'll never know because we'll never speak again.

[NSW768]

u miss me. i saw it in your eyes the other night. I saw you cry in my arms. You wouldn't have cried if you still didn't feel strongly for me.

 

I'm moving soon. I got an apartment. Its been a month but i haven't given you a week. But my life feels different without you in it. Not better or worst really just like a huge chunk of me has become empty.

 

I know if its meant to be then you will come back to me... and i know i keep saying that.

[jv032889]

D,

 

Thanks for dinner the other night. I enjoyed the food but I didn't enjoy your company. I'm not over you just yet. Its in the horizon. I can see it slowly creeping closer and closer. So I found out S has been trying to contact me for a couple days. Why didn't you tell me? I'm so mad at you. Did you not want me to talk to her? Well it doesn't really matter now. I called her and we are meeting up soon. NO thanks to you!!! Your are selfish. I hate you and frankly I don't want anything to do with you. I hope you failed your test today. Good luck with your future endeavors. I'm done crying over you. I need someone who deserves and wants what I have to offer. I will never shed another tear over you!!!! Club Valetines here I come:love:

[icyness]

After all you've put me through and finally finding out everything...I still love you and want you back.

 

What is wrong with me; when am I going to get over you.

[NSW768]

why did my letter make you "very sad". you said your heart needs time to find out. im so tired of this bull****. i just want u back even though u treat me like ****.